The Letter

My dearest Draco

Draco walked in through the front door, and noticed the cold. There was something wrong in the air; something missing. He'd been at work all day and was cold and tired. It was November, the dead of winter, and the cold always depressed him; reminded him of things he'd rather forget. It was raining outside.

I feel like a coward for writing this letter, but I didn't know any other way to get you to listen to me; to get you to understand.

He walked into the living room. It was small and cosy, full of warm and loving memories that always made him smile. The television sat in the corner, looking barely used. When it had first been bought, Draco had walked all around it, looking confused and wondering how the miniature people inside it got their food. There had been so much laughter that day, mainly aimed at him. The fireplace was empty and dead now.

I've been sitting here most of the day, thinking about what to write; how to say this right. I've written draft after draft in my head so many times, but now I'm staring at the paper it's not so easy.

Draco took off his coat and draped it over the sofa. He took off his shoes and socks, making sure to stuff the socks back into his shoes because he always got in trouble for leaving them in a pile on the floor. Then he walked out of the room.

I remember the first time we kissed; I don't think I'll ever forget. I was absolutely fucking terrified, you know? I mean, I was in a dark, dusty classroom at midnight with Draco Malfoy; you had a reputation for being somewhat forceful. But the tenderness in that kiss, it blew me away.

He entered the kitchen, with its pale yellow walls and tiles. Draco always thought of this room as warm, full of light. First thing in the morning, when the light streamed in through the window, the room almost glowed; but that was always because of the person who was sat there, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and smiling up at him. There were flowers on the table, but they were wilting slightly. Draco stared at them for a long time.

The first time we made love, I wasn't scared. I trusted you more than anyone else in the world. I looked up into your eyes as you lay above me, and I just knew. I knew you would still be there for me afterwards. I knew you wouldn't be cruel and malicious and laugh and leave.

Draco began to walk upstairs now, moving slightly quicker as the panic began to set in. There was something wrong and he knew it. It was too quiet, there was too much space here.

Then everything seemed to go wrong at once didn't it? People died, I lost so many friends, I was betrayed by people I trusted, but you were always there in the background for me. You held me as I cried when I lost them all, you stood with me, by my side, when others had lost their faith in me. You didn't change. You were always the same sarcastic bastard, standing aloof and judging others. I came to depend on that.

Draco reached the top of the stairs and stared at the half-open door to their bedroom. He walked slowly towards it; the last vestige of his hope.

Maybe now isn't the time for remembering though. Maybe, in the circumstances, it's crass and unnecessary. You didn't change, but I did. I don't know how to tell you this. We've both been through so much pain, it hardly seems fair. The thing is, I need for something to change.

Draco's hand was on the door-knob and his heart was beating slightly too fast. He had to be in there, he just had to. It was inconceivable even to imagine him not being there. He'd been distant that morning; there was a look in his eyes Draco hadn't seen before, it was determination.

I need to forget it all. I need to move on from the past or it will drown me; it will drown us both Draco. That's why I need to tell you...

The door opened slowly, and Draco's eyes widened. His breathing doubled, and his hand began to shake as it slipped from the door-knob. Shakily, he stepped further into the room. There was a white envelope on the end of the bed, his name was written on it in his lover's neat script.

...that I have to go.

Draco picked up the envelope and sat down on the bed. With shaking hands, he opened it and began to read.

You have to realise, that it's because I love you. I know this hurts you now, but wouldn't you prefer it to happen now, then say, 5 years down the road? I suppose not. I haven't cheated on you, and I haven't ever lied to you. Every time I told you I loved you, it was the truth. Every time we made love, it was the truth. I just need to go away for awhile. I'm so sorry...

Tears began to fall from Draco's eyes, and the letter fell from his hands, the last sentence unread.

...I never meant to hurt you.

Harry.

In the back garden of their modest house, the petals from every flower fell to the ground as Draco's screaming filled the air.

Fin