This Side or the Other

This Side or the Other

"Hello, Headmaster."

"Nicolas, my old friend. What are you doing at Hogwarts?"

"We're not in Hogwarts."

"Oh dear, I suppose we're not. It's happened then. I've finally died. Well, that wasn't nearly long enough. Perhaps a bit longer?"

"The children are safe, Albus. You've earned your rest."

"Rest is for old men, Nicolas."

"Albus, you and I both know you passed old a half century ago."

"This coming from a man who was six hundred sixty four his last birthday."

"Six hundred sixty five, actually. And yes."

"What now?"

"It's time for the next big adventure."

"Yes...yes... the next big adventure. Of course. Tell me, Nicolas, am I to spend eternity with every remark I ever made being thrown back at me? If so, it will be an excruciatingly long forever."

"It would serve you right, you barmy coot."

"Where exactly are we?"

"In the middle, Albus."

"Ah, yes. So it's my time then. My time to choose."

"I'm afraid it is."

"Why are you here?"

"Oh, we all get a guide. A familiar face to help us decide where to go."

"So you chose not to return to the world of the living?"

"No. I lived long enough in that plane to be happy to have moved on. I've no interest in going back as a ghost or to begin life anew."

"What is on the other side?"

"Eternity."

"Is that the only answer get?"

"I'm afraid so. We aren't given any more information than that. It is different for all of us - you know that."

"I reckon I did."

"You have a choice, Albus. And you can take as much time as you need to make it."

"Well, I never fancied being a ghost. I'd miss pepper imps and chocolate frogs far too much to spend eternity watching children eat them, and never have them again myself."

"Fair enough."

"And being reborn....well, I've played that game already. I suppose that leaves only one choice."

"It isn't a prison, Albus. It's the other side of life."

"Unfortunately for me, Nicolas, I rather liked this side."

"Immortality isn't all it's cracked up to be, dear friend."

"It's not wanting to live forever, Nicolas. It's a feeling as though I've forgotten something."

"The world existed before you were born, Albus. And it will continue now that you've moved on. But perhaps I can arrange one final trip back. One last chance to see those you're leaving behind to set your mind at ease."

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The world was silent.

Harry Potter's footsteps echoed through the halls of Hogwarts. There were no children chatting noisily in the corridors, no professors handing out detentions, no owls swooping about delivering the post, no Peeves dropping dungbombs in knapsacks. The portraits were still. The birds stopped signing. Even the wind seemed to be in mourning.

Death was not new to the passageways of the castle. Hogwarts would forever be the scene of the battle that ended a three-year war--each corner a shrine to a lost soldier; each crack in the walls, a symbol of the frailty of human life. It seemed ironic that after the collapse of Darkness in a time of peace and concord, the greatest of warriors, fell. Not in a heated duel or a bloody battle, but quietly in his sleep--a breath released into the still night, the final flicker of a candle's flame.

Despite the emptiness of the halls, it took Harry a long time to reach the familiar circular office. And even longer for him to cross the threshold.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Potter."

Harry turned to find Hogwarts' new headmistress smiling softly at him. "Good afternoon, Professor McGonagall. And please call me Harry."

"Will you call me Minerva?"

"With all due respect, Professor, I think the floor would open up and swallow me whole if I tried," he said with a laugh.

"Then you understand why you will always be Mr. Potter to me."

"I suppose I do." It made sense to him. There was enough change in the world and so little to tether them to a past that they weren't ready to let go of entirely. "I've come for Fawkes."

"I thought you would. Albus always wanted you to have that bird."

"You never liked him, did you?"

"The first time we met he singed my best hat. I think he did it on purpose."

Harry laughed the first genuine laugh he'd shared with anyone since hearing about Albus's death. He felt guilty.

"You are permitted to smile, Mr. Potter."

"What?"

She placed a hand on his shoulder. "It's all right. I miss him too."

Harry turned away, his eyes focusing on an empty spot on the portrait wall, the one dedicated to the recently commission portrait of the fallen headmaster. "Just doesn't seem fair, does it? He should have been able to enjoy this time."

"He is enjoying this time. Death isn't the end of all things. You know that."

Harry just nodded, not trusting himself to speak.

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"She handled that rather well."

"Minerva is much better suited to the position than I ever was."

"Why do you say that?"

"She allows her mind to lead her heart, and not the other way. That was possibly my greatest flaw."

"A caring heart isn't a flaw, Albus."

"A caring heart, no, but a foolish heart..."

************************

"Remus? Remus do you have a moment?" Madame Sprout's eyes glittered brightly, though her face was streaked with bits of earth. "I need a bit of help."

"Anything, Endora." The new head of Gryffindor walked with the Herbology professor back to Greenhouse 4.

"I have a few things to tend to, and I won't be able to get to all of it before the first frost."

"Well, I'm not much of a gardener but I have been known to dig around in the dirt a few times in my life," he replied genially.

Madame Sprout laughed. "Good to know."

"What's on the agenda?"

"Well, I've got Neville Longbottom tending to the greenhouses and I've asked Hannah Abbot to help him."

"Still trying to match those two up, eh?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," she said, pausing to brush some soil from her robes.

"Of course not. What do you need me to do?"

"Would you tend to the starclover outside the dungeons?"

"Tend to it? I thought it grew wild."

She smiled. "Severus loves the smell of starclover in the fall. Albus asked me to plant it when Severus first became Potions master, and made me promise I would keep it growing as long as he remained here."

"Does he know you tend to it?"

"Severus? Good heavens, no. Albus didn't want him to know. It was sort of a gift. And you know Severus, the only way to give him a gift is to never let him know you're giving it. He's part of the reason I need your help. I wanted to replant the potions garden for him before it's too late in the season. He's dangerously low on foxglove and burdock root, almost completely out of hawthorne berries and bergamot, and if I'm not mistaken, he did say he hoped to begin growing catswort, goutweed, and myrrh this year."

"He still hasn't left his rooms then?"

"No. No, he hasn't."

Remus nodded silently. "Anything else?"

"Yes, actually. I'd like to plant some freesia near Albus. He was ever so fond of it."

"That sounds like an excellent idea," he said with a soft smile. "Shall we?" They gathered their supplies and headed out. Somewhere in the distance a blackbird began to sing.

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"I worry about him most of all."

"Severus Snape?"

"Severus is probably the most in need of comforting and the least inclined to ask for it."

"He never seemed to me to be someone who needed anything from anyone else, Albus."

"I know. And I'm afraid everyone else will think so as well."

*************************

Draco knocked sharply on the great black doors that lead to Severus Snape's private chambers, and waited as patiently as a Malfoy was able for an answer.

"Professor, it's Draco."

He knocked harder. "Look, I'm not leaving until you let me in."

He waited a bit longer and knocked again. "Look, that bloody werewolf keeps owling me. If I don't talk to you, he might never leave me alone. Now, let me in. I am quite adept at whining until I get my way. I've turned it into an art form, truth be told."

The latch clicked and the door slowly swung open. Draco peered into the darkness looking for any sign of life. "Hello?" he called into the pitch-black room. "I've heard the vampire rumors, but isn't this a bit theatrical?"

"I'm in the sitting room," a coarse voice replied.

"You have a sitting room? You've had guests? Now I'm a bit peeved at never having been invited before." He waited for some retort, some stinging remark from the normally acerbic Potions master. When he was met with only more silence, he called out again.

"Look, I haven't the foggiest idea where this so-called sitting room is so I'm going to need a bit of help."

In a flash, a row of lanterns ignited, lighting a path in the darkness. "That'll do."

He followed the lights until he came to a small parlor where Severus Snape was seated in an armchair. Draco was caught off guard by the Potions master's appearance. The dark patches under his eyes marred his sallow skin. His already thin face was painfully sunken. It was obvious he had completely forgotten how to eat or sleep.

With a quiet, "Incendio," Draco lit a fire in the cold hearth. "Well, you look like hell."

"Thank you for the status report. I might have sat here for eternity and never known."

"Now, that's more like it. Still got a bit of venom in you. It's good to hear." Despite Draco's flippant tone, he was greatly relieved to hear the familiar rancor and spite from his former professor. Snape still made no attempt to move, so Draco simply waited for the inevitable-

"Why are you here?"

Lovely, he thought. "Didn't you hear me? That blasted werewolf owls me almost daily. 'He hasn't left the dungeons.' 'He hasn't been eating.' 'He'll listen to you.' He's quite tetchy for a dark creature, isn't he?"

"You have successfully confirmed my existence. Your mission is complete. Now leave."

"Do you think I traipsed down here to have a quick look at you and then be on my merry way? I think you are over estimating your good looks, Professor. No, I think I'll stay around for a bit."

Draco sat on the small sofa across from Snape and got as comfortable he could on the ancient, stiff sofa. Snape still didn't move.

"I'm fine, thanks for asking," Draco said, trying to provoke a response. Realizing Snape wasn't going to make this easy, Draco did the only thing he could think of that would elicit some sort of comment. He would share news of happiness and Gryffindors.

"Weasley and Granger are finally making it legal. Planning on getting married here at the castle, which is a relief as I was invited, and the thought of spending any amount of time at the Burrow makes my skin crawl. It was Granger that invited me, I know it, but the thought that she made Weasley agree to it makes my showing up a necessity, don't you think?"

The silence continued, and so did Draco's report. "Speaking of Weasleys, those twins are still getting rich off the stupidity of the masses. Who knew a fortune could be made in rubber dragon dung and exploding wizard's hats? You'll be pleased to know they they've had twins. Both of them. At the same time. That's right - they're breeding. You've eleven years to prepare for the first wave - two sets of Weasley twins brought up and nurtured in the finer points of ridicule, torture, and mayhem. Oh, and by the way, Hagrid has convinced the new headmistress to start an annex for his giant cousins, so soon you might be teaching them as well. Isn't that lovely?"

"Is this your attempt at cheering me up, because you are failing miserable."

"Professor, I haven't the time nor the energy required to cheer you up. I don't even know if that is possible in one lifetime. What I am here to do is remind you that there is a world outside these doors and that it continues. Some of us would like to see you participate."

"You said yourself the world continues. What does it matter if I'm in here instead of out there?"

"Because a few of us actually give a damn about you, you ungrateful, overgrown bat."

Draco's veneer was starting to slip. His creased brow and indignant frown allowed actual concern to show. And whatever Snape saw in those stone grey eyes was enough to extract a reaction. "I'm not ready, yet," he said simply.

Draco let out a breath and his shoulders dropped. "You'll never be," he said softly. "He's gone and try as you might you can't change that."

Snape's eyes began to glisten. At that moment Draco realized Lupin was right, no one else could have had this conversation with Snape. No one else would have been allowed in. This close. He listened quietly as Snape began speaking: "He was like a father to me, Draco. When the rest of the world would have gladly seen me locked away for the rest of my life, he convinced them, and me, that I deserved better. When my own family turned me away, when I hadn't a friend in the world, he stood by me whether I wanted him to or not - whether I liked him or not. Do you have any idea what it's like to lose someone like that?"

"I'm trying not lose someone like that, you bloody fool. Haven't you figured that out yet?"

It was one of those moments that Draco never thought he'd live to see. Severus Snape--struck mute, mouth agape, and brow furrowed in confusion. Slowly, understanding and perhaps even acceptance, seeped into Snape's face. His temple relaxed and his mouth closed, and very slowly, turned up into a long absent smirk. "Any luck with the Weasley girl, yet?"

"She'll come around," Draco said with a smirk of his own.

************************

"Have you learned anything, Albus?"

"That the world will go on whether I'm on this side or the other."

"Very good. What else?"

"That they will be fine."

"They will be, old friend, I promise."

"She was my first love, you know. From the first time I set eyes on Hogwarts castle, her spires stretching into heaven itself, I fell madly in love. When I first saw a unicorn run freely through the Forbidden Forest, when I first placed a bare foot in the cool waters of the great lake, when I first heard the echoes of laughter in her halls, I knew there could be no other. No one has ever been able to take her place in my heart. And her children were my children. Each of them holds claim to a fragment of my being. It's difficult to walk away from that."

"As it should be. But rest assured, Albus, Minerva loves the school as much as you did. In turn she will turn it over to Severus Snape, who will turn it over to Harry Potter, if somewhat begrudgingly. Each of them will nurture its halls and protect its keep as laboriously as you have. Each will devote their lives to it. Each will love it as you have and will work to their last days to see it prosper for centuries to come."

"Is that my legacy, Nicolas? To leave in my wake a line of people who will refuse family and personal fulfillment, to lock themselves away in walls of stone and ghosts? What of the warmth of a love whose arms can protect you? What of watching your child's first steps? What of seeing the world? What of life outside the castle?"

"Have you ever felt imprisoned there, Albus? Do you regret a single moment of your time in those halls?"

"No...No, I do not."

"And neither will they."

"No, I suppose they won't."

"It's time, Albus."

"The next big adventure?"

"The next....but not the last."

Finis