The Wicked Cry Alone

Four

What felt like weeks were only a few days. His feet ached, his stomach growled, and his eyelids felt terribly heavy. He wanted to eat and sleep and clean up and everything else he hadn't done since leaving the burning cabin behind. If Sirius hadn't been out early preparing their meals for the day, they might've both died.

'No, Remus, open your eyes. We can't sleep. Remus, please, just open your eyes.'

Calloused fingertips stroked his cheekbones and jaw, coaxing him awake. When had his eyes closed?

'Sirius? Gods... I'm so tired, please. I can't.'

'Come on, we have to keep going. They'll find us, Remus. They'll find us and kill us! Please Remus, I can't let them catch you.' The desperation in his voice finally pulled his eyelids halfway open.

Sirius looked terrified. Not of the villagers, but of what might happen to Remus. Sirius was never afraid of them; not like Remus, who had lived in fear for so long.

His hands covered Sirius's over his face and he groaned in exhaustion, but his eyes stayed half-open. 'Where can we go? You know they'll find us eventually.'

Like they found me. A few whispered words were enough, from one village to the next, until they found me. He figured it out on day one of their escape. That was how someone had managed to find out what happened when he was eight. Sirius mentioned that his oldest cousin, Bella, was visiting her fiancé in the next village. In Sirius's words, she was 'a loathsome bitch on good days and an insane banshee every other time'. Some of her fiancé's friends might have been responsible for Tom's death, too, but he couldn't be completely sure. She was certainly behind the cabin and Faela; she and Sirius's hateful mother.

Anger bubbled up in his chest and he was fully alert. The familiar old voice gave him a direction to follow. It was the only thing he could trust now.

'I've got it,' he murmured distractedly. Sirius's hands found his shoulders and drew his attention.

'Where?' he questioned, implicitly trusting Remus's instincts. Remus managed a faint smile before he stood, with the other boy's help, and nodded in a northerly direction.

'Up through there. I don't know how far, but if we keep going, we'll find it.' They didn't have much food left, though with more clarity than when he was a little boy, he'd thought to grab hunting supplies. They could make it.

His steps faltered and he leaned against Sirius as the other boy caught him. 'I'm sorry,' he whispered, eyes drooping again. 'I'm so tired. Sirius, I don't think I can --'

A finger over his lips silenced the rest. Sirius hoisted him into his arms with sudden strength and headed north. A tingle of something familiar zinged down Remus's spine and was gone as soon as his eyes shut.

***

The first thing he felt was cool air brushing over his cheeks. Conversely, warmth radiated against his side, keeping him comfortable even on the hard surface.

Cracking open an eye, Remus got a face full of black, at first shocking him into full alertness. Before his body tensed up, he realised that Sirius's head lay atop his chest, his arms wrapped around his middle, pressing against him like a curled up puppy. He almost looked like Faela when she was younger.

A hand buried itself in the black hair as a smile blossomed on his lips. Sleep lingered for a while when he let himself relax again. The trees didn't look familiar, although somehow, he knew they were in the right place. Just a little more and they would find it. Whatever 'it' was.

'Mm, morning,' came Sirius's sleep-thick voice. His face buried deeper against Remus, fitting under his arm and starting shivers all over his body.

'Sirius, you're acting like a dog,' he commented, 'and good morning.' The smile only grew when Sirius turned his face to look up him.

'Well, dogs are supposed to be man's best friend, aren't they? So I'm Remus's best friend. That makes me the best bloody dog in the world.' Even with sleep clinging to his face, his grin was full of mirth. Remus couldn't help but laugh.

'That you are. Good boy,' Remus quipped, bringing his other hand up to pat Sirius on the head. The other boy snuffled into his armpit and Remus shrieked, squirming away.

They finally managed to sit up and take in their surroundings while chewing some blackened rabbit meat. 'If we go around there,' Remus pointed at the small bunch of trees that glowed brighter to him than the others, 'we'll find a path to... well, wherever it is.'

Sirius raised an eyebrow but didn't argue. He finished his impromptu breakfast and stood, offering Remus a hand up. 'All right, lead the way. But I swear, if you land us in a bat cave, I can't be held responsible for my actions. I bloody hate bats.'

His comment was met with a colourful hand gesture before Remus led the way through the trees.

Less than a half hour's walk led to a small grass clearing that opened up to a valley. A clear stream bisected the valley; on either side lay fruit trees of all sorts. He couldn't tell what they were from this distance, but his mouth hung open in surprise at the sight.

'Gods, do you see that?' he whispered in awe. Like it was all there waiting for them. Not far from the stream, a humble looking house stood in the midst of a wild growing orchard. Their own little paradise.

Sirius stood beside him, taking in the view with a sharp inhale. 'Yeah,' he breathed, turning to look at Remus with equal awe. His lips lifted in a smile and he reached out for Remus's hand, pulling him in close. 'D'you think it's there for us?' he asked in an echo of Remus's thoughts.

'Maybe,' Remus returned, leaning his shoulder into Sirius's while turning to look down the valley. 'We should check it out, though. Something led me here... I have to assume that it's safe, but we'll be cautious just in case, right?'

The other boy's nod was enough to get Remus going, leading the way down the grassy slope and through the numerous fruit trees.

Up close, the house looked ancient. Built from old stone and mortar, its base was sturdy and thick, tapering off into a softly curved roof. They crept around as inconspicuously as two boys casing out private property could.

'I wondered when you would finally make your way here.'

Sirius turned towards the doorway while unconsciously shielding Remus with his body.

But that voice... now he knew where it had come from. He finally found who it belonged to.

'You...' Remus whispered. He placed a gentle hand on Sirius's shoulder. It's okay, communicated by that wordless movement, he's safe.

'Why yes, I am me, am I not?' The twinkling blue eyes were kind behind the silver frames. Familiar, even though Remus had only ever heard the voice.

Confusion was slowly giving way to curiosity. 'But why did you choose me?'

'Ah,' said the old man, stroking his beard thoughtfully, 'that is, indeed, quite a long tale. If you would join me for tea, I can explain.'

Sirius looked between the two, clearly lost. 'Can someone fill me in?'

Remus just took his hand and followed after the old man. The inside of the house looked even more ancient than its exterior. All manner of baubles and relics lined the walls, lending the atmosphere an appealing, well-lived-in look. Comforting, safe, like his parents' one-storey had been. That tingling sensation ran down his spine again and he turned to the old man, following him towards a table where he set down the tea.

'I know your woes, Remus Lupin. You have endured many losses, yet only with tragedies can we grow. Your parents, the kindly man who took you in, even your faithful companion shall not be lost. They live within you.' The man's words struck a nerve. Remus backed away, though still, he didn't feel afraid, only intrigued.

'...Who are you? How is it that you know me? How did you find out about... Faela?' He fought the urge to turn to Sirius when he felt him come up behind him, watching the two carefully.

'My name is Albus Dumbledore. I taught your parents for many years, before they branched off and started their new life.' Remus's brow crinkled at this new information. When he didn't say anything, Albus looked kindly on him and indicated that he and Sirius should take a seat. When they did, he passed the biscuit tin and a cup of tea each.

'I know this may be difficult to hear, but I hoped one day you would find me, as your parents did. Your friend,' he turned to Sirius, a kind smile lingering at the corner of his mouth, 'is also welcome. I can teach you both, if you wish to learn.'

He told them what John and Lilith Lupin had been condemned for: living a pagan lifestyle. For being practitioners of magic, for bending the norm and for being independent, reliant on the earth's gifts. He and Sirius didn't find this house by accident, but Remus wasn't sure how much he believed in fate. Until Sirius squeezed his hand and leaned closer, practically tucked into his side.

The more Albus told him about his parents, the more clarity he started to experience. Those feelings he'd been having, the familiarity, this old man's voice; all of it finally merged into one point. He finally knew what he was, and he found that he wasn't ashamed. His parents hadn't died in vain, if he could learn what they knew.

Albus steepled his fingers. Deep, wise blue eyes settled on first Remus, and then Sirius. Flicking between the two as they processed what he told them. They were almost home free; freedom from the persecution against Remus and the hateful family Sirius had grown up with. Someday, Regulus would find him as well, but for now, he would pass on what he knew to Remus and Sirius, putting his faith in them to carry on what they learned. With them, the magic wouldn't die.

'You see, I have watched you, and waited, for many years, my boy...'