The Epically Bad Tale of Ron and Hermione, Part Three

Act One, Scene One: The Girls Take Over

Hermione: I'm getting married! Squeeeee!!!

Ginny: Hallelujah! *dances about*

Ron: Er, what?

Sylvia: *smacks Ron upside the head* Pay attention!

Ron: Ow!

Ginny: You asked Hermione to marry you in the last installment, you moron! How could you forget already?

Ron: ...

Hermione: *snogs Ron*

Ron: Ah yes, now I remember!

FBF: *giggles*

Ginny: So anyway, back to the planning!

Harry: Planning? For what?

Ginny: *gives Harry something shiny* There you go.

Harry: Oooooooooooh.

Molly: First things first, dear!

Hermione: Getting rid of the boys while we spend lots of money?

Molly: Well, besides that...

Ginny: You mean...?

Molly: Yes! Hiring the wedding planner!

Ginny: Squeeee!

FBF: YES! HERE I AM! *straps on her wedding planner gear* Let's get crackin'!

Scene Two: The Preparations Begin... Beware the Wedding Planner

Hermione: I'd like to have a...

FBF the Wedding Planner: Fancy white dress? No problem.

Hermione: Er, actually, I was thinking about...

FBF: Ice sculptures? Overrated.

Hermione: But, I would really like...

FBF: A caterer? Good idea. CED!!!

Cedric: Huh?

FBF: Bring me my cell phone ASAP!

Cedric: But, er... I'm the priest.

FBF: THEN WHERE THE HECK IS MY ASSISTANT????

Cedric: Um....

Sylvia: Oooh! Pick me! Pick me!

FBF: Fine. Bring me my cell phone!

Sylvia: *scampers off*

FBF: Okay, so about the caterer...

Mantolwen: I'm here! And I have marvelous plans for the dinner!

Hermione: Dinner? But I thought...

FBF: Never mind that, dear. I think filet mignon would be perfect for this elegant affair.

Hermione: DON'T I GET A SAY IN THIS BLOODY WEDDING???

FBF: ...

Hermione: AAAAAAAAAH!!!!

FBF: It's just pre-wedding jitters. Nothing new.

Ginny: *smacks FBF with a raw fish* It's her wedding, for the love of Merlin!

FBF: *feeling woozy* Okay, okay. If you insist.

Ginny: I do.

Ron: *wanders in, looking lost* Er... who are all you people?

FBF: Never mind that.

Ron: *giggles* Okay. *wanders out*

Hermione: Okay, here's what I want for the wedding... giggle giggle dress giggle

Ginny: giggle flowers giggle giggle

Molly: giggle giggle music giggle vows giggle giggle

FBF: Are you writing this down?

Sylvia: Yep! Got it all, giggles included!

FBF: Okay then. We need to get the photographer. SEREN!!!

Sylvia: Why don't you just use your cell phone?

FBF: Because I like yelling, alright? SEREN!!!!

Seren: Shut up already! I'm here!

Hermione: You look familiar...

Seren: Er... maybe. *puts on her sunglasses* There.

Hermione: Not anymore. Who are you?

Seren: I'm the photographer. Who are you?

Hermione: I'm the BRIDE! Good gravy.

Seren: Yeah yeah, like I haven't heard that one before.

Ginny: Don't make me smack you!

Seren: Don't make me get my flame-throwing slave!

Cedric: I'm the PRIEST!

Seren: Right. Sorry.

Cedric: *secretly polishes his flame-thrower*

FBF: Not now, Cedric.

Cedric: Sorry.

Hermione: Er, can we get back to planning my wedding? Merlin knows I've waited long enough for this day to come!

R/Hr Shippers: Haven't we all, honey. Haven't we all.

Ron: Huh?

Hermione: *pats Ron's head* Never mind, dear.

Ron: *cries* I'm confused again.

FBF: Oh for pete's sake! We're still in the planning stages and he's crying like a baby! Someone get him out of here! SYLVIA!

Sylvia: I'm on it! *knocks Ron on the head and drags away his unconscious form*

Hermione: Hey!

FBF: No worries, he'll be alright for the wedding.

Hermione: Oh, okay then.

Scene Three: Cameos Galore! And Some Wedding Stuff Too...

Harry: Am I supposed to be involved in this wedding somehow?

Hermione: Oh yeah... er...

FBF: You can be the best man.

Harry: Cool! What's that?

FBF: Just stand next to Ron and look pretty.

Harry: *giggles*

Seren: *rolls her eyes*

Ron: *still mostly unconscious* mmbbppmmssllmmememmm

Hermione: Are you sure he'll be okay?

Sylvia: Yep! No problem! I'm an expert at these things.

Harry: I'm scared.

Sylvia: You should be.

Harry: *whimpers*

Ron: mmmmmmmmmmbbbbbbbbbbmsdfkmmmmmmmmmm

FBF: Anyway, now that we have a best man...

Sylvia: We need a bridesmaid!

Rianna: *twirls about* That's me!

Hermione: Who are you?

Rianna: Your BRIDESMAID, of course!

Ginny: But I thought I was...

Rianna: *hits Ginny with a crowbar*

Hermione: ...

FBF: So that's settled, then. Next on the list?

Sylvia: Flowergirl.

Butterfly: *hums to herself* dum dum dee dummmmm... dum dum dee dummmmmm.....

FBF: Perfect. *hands Butterfly a basket of flowers* Look cute.

Butterfly: Don't I always?

Hermione: Oh dear.

Ginny: Not really your wedding anymore, is it?

Rianna: Don't make me hit you again.

FBF: Next!

Eternal: ME!

Hermione: *sigh*

FBF: And you are...

Eternal: The ringbearer!

FBF: Ummmm, okay. If you say so. Go ask Ron for the rings.

Hermione: Yeah, er... he's still unconscious.

Ron: bbbbbbbbbmmmmmmmmmmmpppppppppplllllllmmmmmmmmm

FBF: Okay, later then. What else?

Ginny: Music?

Rianna: Did she ASK your opinion, Miss Smart***?

Ginny: Meep!

FBF: CED!!!

Cedric: Right. *sedates Rianna*

Rianna: Ooooh, pretty lights! Chocolate ice cream? Dee dee dee dee dooooooooot.

Hermione: ...

FBF: She'll be fine.

Sylvia: So, music?

FBF: Right. RITA!!!!

Rita: Yes?

FBF: Ready?

Rita: Of course! *pulls an inflatable organ out of her pocket*

Cedric: Nice.

Rita: Thanks. It's travel sized. I also do birthday parties and bar mitzvahs.

FBF: Er, weddings will do for now.

Hermione: I don't really like organ music...

FBF: Suck it up, soldier.

Hermione: *sighs*

Rita: Where should I set up?

Sylvia: In the church, of course.

Rita: Ah. Right. *deflates the organ and scampers off*

Sylvia: So, who's going to sing the traditional must-be-in-every-frickin-wedding song?

Crookshanks19: Did I ever teeeeeeeeeelllllll you you're my heeeeeeeeeerrrrooooooooooo?

FBF: ...

Hermione: NO WAY! I DRAW THE LINE THERE!

FBF: Fine. You pick then.

Hermione: ...

Sylvia: *whispers to FBF*

FBF: Ah, right. There are no wizard songs that we know of. Dang it.

Crookshanks19: I looove youuuuuuuuuuu! Oooooooh, I honestly loooove youuuuuuuuuuu!

Hermione: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!

FBF: Er, we'll work out the details later.

Act Two, Scene One: The Wedding Reheasal... Much Insanity Abounds

Ron: *awakens from his semi-coma* Mimblewimble?

Harry: No, Ron! We can't play tennis now! It's the rehearsal and Hermione would kill us!

Ron: Huh?

Harry: *sighs* Come on, let's go.

Ron: Where?

FBF: Over here! Good gravy. Do I have to spell everything out for you?

Hermione: Yeah, pretty much. He's not the sharpest tack in the box, but he sure is cute.

Seren: *gags*

FBF: *hands Seren a barf baf* Don't vomit on the camera or you're fired.

Seren: Hey! Who started this whole crazy thing in the first place?

FBF: I have no idea what you're talking about.

Seren: *grumbles*

FBF: Just take the pictures.

Cedric: *polishes his flame-thrower*

FBF: Put that away!

Cedric: ...

Molly: Mother of the Groom coming through!

Ginny: Speaking of the groom...

Harry: Yeah, he's over here.

Ron: *giggles* Weddings are fun!

FBF: Give him something shiny and move him to the front of the church.

Cho M.: I'm on it!

FBF: Okay, priest up front, stat!

Cedric: Yessir! *bounces up to the altar*

FBF: And put that darn flame-thrower away!

Cedric: But what if I need it?

FBF: You won't. I've got bouncers at the door to keep the H/Hr shippers at bay.

H/Hr Shippers: Let us in! Let us in!

Bouncers: No. *smack*

H/Hr Shippers: *cry in a corner*

FBF: See?

Cedric: Okay, okay. *stashes his flame-thrower behind the unity candle*

Sylvia: Best man ready?

FBF: HARRY! GET YOUR LAZY *** OVER HERE!

Harry: Huh?

FBF: *smacks her head on the wall*

Ginny: *pulls Harry to the front of the church* Stand here and look pretty.

Harry: *giggles*

FBF: BRIDESMAID!

Rianna: Here!

FBF: UP FRONT! NOW!

Rianna: Er, don't I need flowers? To practice with?

FBF: Right. SYLVIA!

Sylvia: *shoves some fake flowers into Rianna's hands* Get a move on before she has a coronary.

FBF: FLOWERGIRL! RINGBEARER!

Eternal: Here!

Butterfly: Present!

Eternal: Show off.

Butterfly: *rolls her eyes*

FBF: ORGANIST!

Rita: Ready! *pounds away at the organ*

Crookshanks19: Loooooooooooooooove is a many spleeeeeeeeeendored thiiiiiing!

FBF: NOT YET!

Crookshanks19: Meep!

Hermione: Is this my wedding rehearsal?

Ginny: I think so. But don't say anything too loud - she might hear you.

FBF: What's that you're mumbling about, Weasley?

Ginny: Nothing! Nothing!

Hermione: Er, where am I supposed to stand?

FBF: Who are you again?

Hermione: I'M THE BRIDE, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT'S HOLY!

FBF: Sheesh. Touchy.

Sylvia: Riiiiight. Okay. Bride, over here. Groom... where's the groom?

FBF: RONALD!!!!

Ron: *squeals like a little girl*

FBF: Oh, right. We put him up front. Okay then. SEREN!!!

Seren: I'm here, I'm here! Calm down, psycho!

FBF: I'll take a sedative later. Where's your camera? I want lots of pictures of this rehearsal! You'll never see anything else like this!

Ginny: *mumbles* Got that right.

FBF: I'm warning you, Weasley!

Ginny: Yeah, yeah.

Cedric: *hums to himself*

FBF: Everyone in position? Right! Let's get started!

Scene Two: Much Rehearsing, Giggling, and Screaming

Hermione: rehearse rehearse rehearse

FBF: scream scream scream

Ron: whine whine whine

Harry: Ooooooh. Shiny!

FBF: scream scream scream

Ginny: giggle giggle giggle

Molly: cry cry cry

FBF: scream scream scream

Hermione: rehearse rehearse rehearse

Seren: snap snap snap flash flash flash

Hermione: rehearse rehearse rehearse

FBF: scream scream scream

Ron: rehearse rehearse rehearse whine whine whine

FBF: Perfect! Good job everyone! Now, on to the rehearsal dinner!

Ron: What?

Hermione: Never mind, dear.

Scene Three: The Rehearsal Dinner, aka Many Cheesy Toast Attempts

Hermione: Er, crazy wedding woman?

FBF: Yes?

Hermione: You can take a break for now. I think we'll be okay at the dinner.

FBF: ...

Sylvia: ...

Seren: snap snap flash flash

Hermione: Right.

Ron: Food?

Hermione: Yes. Go sit.

FBF: So.... Er....

Hermione: Just go away for a bit.

FBF: ...

Cedric: Food?

Harry: Over here.

Cedric: Cool.

FBF: *sulks*

Ginny: Time for toasts!

Ron: Toast? Yum! Can I have strawberry jam?

Ginny: *smacks Ron* Not that kind of toast, you moron!

Ron: No toast?

Ginny: I swear you have the intelligence of a toothpick.

Harry: *giggles*

Ginny: Don't get me started on you, Potter.

Harry: *sulks*

Ginny: Fine. Since Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum aren't ready for their toasts, I'll start.

Ron: Start what?

Hermione: Not so smart, but so darn cute.

Ginny: Aaaaaaaaanyway. Back to me. *clears throat* From the moment I met Hermione, I knew she was the one for Ron.

R/Hr Shippers: So did we!

Ginny: *glares* It took Ron a little while to figure it out...

Cedric: Got that right!

FBF: Preach it, sister!

Ginny: AHEM! Thank you. But once Ron finally did figure out that Hermione was the only one who could handle him....

Hermione: Amen to that.

Ginny: And finally gathered his meager supply of courage...

Ron: Hey...

Harry: *giggles*

Ginny: No one could keep them apart, not even those darn H/Hr shippers.

H/Hr Shippers: Hey!

Bouncers: *smack*

Harry: My turn!

Ginny: But I wasn't done...

Harry: I didn't think Ron and Hermione would make it through their first year of school without killing each other...

Seren: Neither did we.

Harry: But they did.

Everyone: ...

Harry: That's it.

Everyone: ...

Ginny: Oooooooookay. Enough toasts! Bring on the food!

Mantolwen: *wheels in her caterer's cart*

Ron: Toast!

Ginny: No, you twit!

Ron: But I want toast...

Harry: *giggles*

Hermione: Just give him some toast so we can get through this evening.

Ron: Yay!

Mantolwen: Toast? I'm insulted.

FBF: *sulks*

Cho M.: Don't worry, you'll be back in charge tomorrow.

Act Three, Scene One: The Morning Of

FBF: Rise and shine, bridal party!

Ron: Party? Where?

Hermione: Not smart, but cute. Not smart, but cute. Not smart...

FBF: WAKE UP!

Ginny: Yeah yeah, we're awake already!

FBF: Watch it, Weasley.

Rianna: Ooooh, bridesmaid duties!

FBF: Yes. Go get the dress and the flowers.

Rianna: Yessir! *skips off merrily*

FBF: SYLVIA!!!

Sylvia: Here!

FBF: Make sure the bouncers are ready!

Sylvia: Done!

FBF: SEREN!!!

Seren: What?

FBF: Get pictures of the bride in the dress!

Seren: Duh.

FBF: CED!!!

Cedric: Flame-thrower ready, sergeant!

FBF: Oh for the love of... PUT THAT THING AWAY!

Cedric: *grumbles*

FBF: Get your priestly garments on and get down to the church ASAP!

Cedric: Yeah, yeah. *stomps out*

FBF: BRIDE!!!

Hermione: Oh, is it my turn?

FBF: Watch the sarcasm, Granger.

Hermione: Sorry. What do I need to do?

FBF: Find Rianna and get the darn dress on.

Ginny: How about me?

FBF: Er... Sylvia?

Sylvia: Yeah, I don't know what to do with her either.

Ginny: Can I be the maid of honor?

FBF: Oh yeah, we need one of those. Good idea. SYLVIA!!!

Sylvia: Dude, I'm right here.

FBF: Sorry. Get her a dress and get her down to the church.

Ginny: Squeee!

Draco: What about me?

FBF: What the heck are you doing here?

Draco: I'm here to steal Hermione away!

D/Hr Shippers: Yay!

Seren: *polishes her knives*

FBF: How did they get in here? BOUNCERS!!!

Bouncers: *grunt*

FBF: Get rid of those crazies!

Seren: Ooooh, can I do it? Please please pretty please?

FBF: Fine, but hurry up!

Seren: Mwahahahahaha! Get your flame-thrower, Ced!

Cedric: *skips in* YES! *chases after the D/Hr Shippers*

D/Hr Shippers: EEEEEEEK!!!

FBF: Back to work!

Draco: Soooo...

Hermione: We've already discussed this.

Draco: I know. But I can't remember what you said.

Hermione: I said no, you flaming imbecile! Why would I EVER want to marry you?

Draco: Er... because I'm handsome and fangirls love me?

Hermione: *smacks Draco* You egocentric, supercilious, pompous jerk!

Harry: *hands Draco his worn out dictionary* Here you go.

Draco: Don't bother. I brought my own.

Hermione: I can't believe you would come here on MY WEDDING DAY and try something stupid like this! I should kick you into next week!

Draco: Er... I love you?

Hermione: No you don't, you great prat!

Draco: Meep! The shippers told me to do it!

Hermione: *growls*

Draco: ...

D/Hr Shippers: AAAAAAAAAACK!!!

Seren and Cedric: Mwahahahahaha!

Hermione: Get out of here before I have to seriously maim you!

Draco: *cries like a little girl*

FBF: *applauds* Bravissimo!

Hermione: Thanks. *grins*

Scene Two: It's Finally Here!

FBF: *straps on her headset* PLACES, EVERYONE!

Everyone: *scurries about*

Seren: *gets bored and takes random pictures of the wall, the sky, Ron's shoe, etc.*

FBF: Er... helloooo?

Seren: Well, it's dull in here!

FBF: Don't get your knickers in a knot!

Seren: *grumbles*

Draco: *sneaks in*

FBF: What are you doing here?

Draco: Er... I like weddings?

FBF: GET OUT!!!

Seren: *takes pictures of Draco's horrified face*

Rianna: *wanders off to the hot dog stand*

FBF: Oooh, bring me back a hot dog with ketchup and mustard! NO RELISH!

Seren: Oh, kimpop! An international food stand! Yummy!

Ron: *snores*

Harry: *dozes off*

Hermione: *smacks Ron* WAKE UP! IT'S OUR WEDDING DAY FOR THE LOVE OF MERLIN!

Ron: Huh? What? Oh, right. Sorry.

Luna: *sneaks up behind dozing men with her lion hat and makes it roar*

Ron and Harry: *pee themselves*

Ginny: *laughs uncontrollably*

Harry: Er... I think I've soiled myself. Got an extra pair of trousers?

Ron: Dude, I'm going to need them. Find your own.

FBF: *nearly passes out from laughter*

Harry: Excuse me. *runs to bathroom*

Draco: Wait for me!

Harry: Dude, what are you, a girl?

Ron: Woohoo! Wedding time, baby!

Hermione: Oh my.

Harrry: *returns with new trousers and Draco tagging along behind*

Draco: Weddings? I love weddings! Drinks all around!

Seren: Wrong script, dude.

Draco: Sorry.

Seren: S'alright.

Harry: So, where were we?

FBF: THE WEDDING! PLACES, EVERYONE!

Mantolwen: *bursts into the wedding, dragging a trolley behind her covered in food*

FBF: NOT NOW!

Mantolwen: Oops. Sorry! *exits as quickly as possible*

Butterfly: *sniffs the flowers*

Eternal: Where are the rings?

Ron: Rings? What rings?

Hermione: Oh, for the love of...

FBF: Don't worry! I knew he'd forget! SYLVIA!!!

Sylvia: I'm on it! *shoves the rings in Eternal's hand*

FBF: Guard them with your life or it will end VERY quickly.

Eternal: Meep!

FBF: MUSIC!!!

Rita: *starts playing*

Butterfly: *runs up the aisle and trips on her own feet*

FBF: FLOWERGIRL DOWN! FLOWERGIRL DOWN! CODE BLUE! CODE BLUE!

Butterfly: I'm okay!

FBF: *clutches her chest* I'm going to have a nervous breakdown.

Sylvia: Sedative?

FBF: Not yet. CED!!!

Cedric: *hides his flame-thrower* Yes?

FBF: Get up to the altar! NOW!

Cedric: Right-o!

H/Hr Shippers: *sneak in the back and sit by Draco*

Seren: Oh, no you don't! ATTACK!

H/Hr Shippers: EEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!

FBF: Okay, maid of honor? Bridesmaid?

Ginny: Ready!

Rianna: Ready!

FBF: Go!

Ginny and Rianna: *saunter down the aisle*

Seren: snap snap flash flash

FBF: Walk faster!

Ginny and Rianna: *run down the aisle*

FBF: That's better. BRIDE!!!

Hermione: I'm ready, I'm ready! Sheesh!

FBF: Okay, wait for it... wait for it... NOW!

Hermione and Mr. Granger: *stroll down the aisle*

FBF: Step up the pace!

Hermione: Hey, I want to enjoy this!

FBF: I SAID MOVE IT!

Hermione and Mr. Granger: *sprint down the aisle*

FBF: Okay, let 'er rip, Ced!

Cedric: Dearly beloved...

FBF: HURRY UP!

Cedric: Wearegatheredheretodayinthepresenceofthesewitnesses...

FBF: Yeah, yeah, get a move on!

Cedric: Do you, Ron, take Hermione to be your awfully wedded wife?

Hermione: Awfully?

Cedric: *checks his notes* Oops. Sorry. Let's try that again.

FBF: *smacks her head on the wall*

Seren: snap snap flash flash

Cedric: Do you, Ron, take Hermione to be your lawfully wedded wife...

Ron: Yessirree!

FBF: *groans*

Harry: *giggles*

Cedric: Do you, Hermione, take Ron to be your lawfully wedded husband?

Hermione: You bet your sweet bippy I do!

Ron: What's a bippy?

Hermione: Never mind.

Cedric: Do you have the rings?

Ron: Rings? What rings?

Eternal: Got 'em!

Ron: Where did those come from?

Hermione: Doesn't matter. Just keep going.

Ron: Right. With this ring... er... what was the rest?

Cedric: I thee wed...

Ron: I be wet?

FBF: *cries uncontrollably*

Cedric: I THEE WED.

Ron: Ah. Yes. I thee wed.

Harry: *giggles*

FBF: Quick! Give him something shiny!

Sylvia: *throws a spoon at Harry*

Harry: Ooooooooooh. Pretty.

Hermione: With this ring, I thee wed.

Crookshanks19: *whispers* When do I get to sing?

FBF: Er... after the candle lighting.

Cedric: And now for the unity candle.

Ron: Oooh, fire!

Ginny: Oh dear.

Hermione: Can't we skip this part?

FBF: NO WE CANNOT!

Hermione: Fine. *helps Ron light the candle*

Cedric: *whispers* Can't I use the flame-thrower? It'll go a lot faster!

FBF: NO YOU MAY NOT!

Cedric: *grumbles*

Ron: Are we done yet?

Hermione: Shhhhh! Don't make her mad!

FBF: What was that?

Cedric: Er... I now pronounce you man and wife!

Crookshanks19: But I didn't get to sing!

FBF: Er... right. Later. I promise.

Crookshanks19: Okay!... Wait a minute...

FBF: Step it up!

Cedric: You may kiss the bride!

Ron: YES!

Hermione: *blushes*

Harry: *giggles*

Ginny: *sighs dreamily*

Ron: *snogs Hermione*

Cedric: ALRIGHT! WOOHOO!

FBF: FINALLY!

R/Hr Shippers: *sing the Hallelujah Chorus*

H/Hr Shippers: *much weeping and gnashing of teeth*

Ron and Hermione: *still snogging*

Eternal: Dude, get a room!

Butterfly: It's so romantical!

Molly: cry cry cry sob sob sob

Ron and Hermione: *still snogging*

FBF: Alright, break it up! I'm not getting paid by the hour, here!

Ron: *blushes*

Hermione: *giggles*

Harry: What's going on?

Luna: Never mind.

Scene Three: The End Is Nigh

Ron and Hermione: *stand in the receiving line*

Crazy Aunt Maria: My little Ronniekins... married! *bursts into hysterical tears*

Ron: Er... I don't remember you.

Aunt Maria: I'm your mother's cousin's sister's best friend twice removed! I come to all the reunions!

Ron: ...

Hermione: Er, nice to meet you?

Aunt Maria: Oh, you'll name one of your kids after me, won't you?" *sobs loudly*

HMS BP: Yeah, about that...

Hermione: Who are you?

HMS BP: We're the ones in control of this whole thing.

Hermione: Ah. Right.

HMS BP: Anyway, about those kids...

Ron: *gulps* Kids?

HMS BP: Yes. How do you feel about seven kids?

Ron: *feels faint* Seven?

HMS BP: And one little surprise.

Hermione: Oh my.

Molly: Grandkids! *sobs loudly*

Aunt Maria: Which one is named after me?

HMS BP: Er, none.

Aunt Maria: NONE????

HMS BP: Deal with it, crazy.

Aunt Maria: *huffs off*

Ron: So, er... what are these kids' names?

HMS BP: Well, that's for another EBT.

Ron: EB-what?

Seren: Never mind.

Ron: Right. Back to the snogging!

Hermione: *giggles*

Eternal: GET A ROOM!

FBF: WHERE'S MY MONEY?

Sylvia: Oh, who are you kidding? You didn't do this for the money.

FBF: True, but I'd still like to get something out of this besides the utter satisfaction of a job well done and years of shipping paying off.

Sylvia: Sedative?

FBF: Perfect.

FIN