- Rating:
- PG-13
- House:
- Astronomy Tower
- Characters:
- Hermione Granger Ron Weasley
- Genres:
- Humor Romance
- Era:
- Multiple Eras
- Spoilers:
- Order of the Phoenix
- Stats:
-
Published: 11/21/2004Updated: 11/21/2004Words: 2,290Chapters: 1Hits: 767
Epicly Bad Tales Presents
The Love-Struck Ferrets
- Story Summary:
- Ron, being the ever-mindful, sensitive friend that he is, has totally forgotten to get Hermione's birthday present. Join him as he races like made, going through dental floss and other random objects, trying to find the perfect gift for Hermione. And yes - as always, there is Draco abuse. R/Hr; written script format.
- Posted:
- 11/21/2004
- Hits:
- 767
- Author's Note:
- You just can't shake us, can you? It is I, Seren, aka Eliane Fraser. This is a one-off which may or may not get a sequel, depending on my mood (I'm not a R/Hr shipper by nature, so the EBT's tend to take me a while.) Many thanks to Cory for his scene.
Epicly Bad Tales Presents : Shopping for Hermione
Act One, Scene One - Disaster Strikes
Ron : *is beating Harry at Chess*
Harry : *doesn't care*
Ginny : *prances in* Hello, boys.
Ron : *makes a manly grunting noise*
Harry : Hullo, Ginny.
Ginny : I got Hermione's present.
Ron : For what?
Ginny : Her birthday.
Ron : Her WHAT?!
Harry : Birthday. *flips open dictionary* A conjugation of the words birth and day, generally used to observe and celebrate that day of one's birth.
Ron : I know what it means. Whaddya mean, Hermione's birthday?
Ginny : What, you thought she's been eleven this entire time?
Ron : I didn't know when her birthday was.
Joy : Some friend you are.
Ron : Oh no! When is her birthday?!
Harry : September 19th.
Ron : How did YOU know?
Harry : She *is* my best friend.
H/Hr Shippers : And so much more!
Seren : Shut up.
Scene Two - Panic sets in
Ron : What am I going to get her?
Harry : Well, what did you get her last time, for Christmas?
Ron : Perfume.
Ginny : Perfume? Merlin's Stones, man, you're thicker than chocolate pudding!
Ron : What are you getting her?
Ginny : I got her a new Arithmancy book.
Ron : Right. Books. Hermione likes books.
Ginny : Way to go, Einstein. Did you figure that out all by yourself?
Ron : Yes. Who's Einstein?
Ginny : Genius from Germany. Had crazy hair. E=Mc2? Forget it.
Ron : Er... Hermione likes to write... perhaps a new quill?
Ginny : There's the way to win her heart, Ron. Say it with Quills!
Ron : Really?
Ginny : No.
Ron : ...
Ginny : *sighs* God, you owe me big time for this.
God : I'll let you smack Draco Malfoy.
Ginny : Gravy.
Ron : Parchment? Ink? A homework planner? A journal?
Ginny : He can win any chess tourney, battle Death Eaters, and put his life on the line, but he can't think of a simple gift for his best friend.
God : Sorry.
Ron : Maybe a crystal ball... let her work on her Divination skills.
Joy : *sighs*
Siri : *smacks Ron*
Scene Three - In which Ron talks to himself, and the AFers come in droves.
Act One, Scene One - Disaster Strikes
Ron : *is beating Harry at Chess*
Harry : *doesn't care*
Ginny : *prances in* Hello, boys.
Ron : *makes a manly grunting noise*
Harry : Hullo, Ginny.
Ginny : I got Hermione's present.
Ron : For what?
Ginny : Her birthday.
Ron : Her WHAT?!
Harry : Birthday. *flips open dictionary* A conjugation of the words birth and day, generally used to observe and celebrate that day of one's birth.
Ron : I know what it means. Whaddya mean, Hermione's birthday?
Ginny : What, you thought she's been eleven this entire time?
Ron : I didn't know when her birthday was.
Joy : Some friend you are.
Ron : Oh no! When is her birthday?!
Harry : September 19th.
Ron : How did YOU know?
Harry : She *is* my best friend.
H/Hr Shippers : And so much more!
Seren : Shut up.
Scene Two - Panic sets in
Ron : What am I going to get her?
Harry : Well, what did you get her last time, for Christmas?
Ron : Perfume.
Ginny : Perfume? Merlin's Stones, man, you're thicker than chocolate pudding!
Ron : What are you getting her?
Ginny : I got her a new Arithmancy book.
Ron : Right. Books. Hermione likes books.
Ginny : Way to go, Einstein. Did you figure that out all by yourself?
Ron : Yes. Who's Einstein?
Ginny : Genius from Germany. Had crazy hair. E=Mc2? Forget it.
Ron : Er... Hermione likes to write... perhaps a new quill?
Ginny : There's the way to win her heart, Ron. Say it with Quills!
Ron : Really?
Ginny : No.
Ron : ...
Ginny : *sighs* God, you owe me big time for this.
God : I'll let you smack Draco Malfoy.
Ginny : Gravy.
Ron : Parchment? Ink? A homework planner? A journal?
Ginny : He can win any chess tourney, battle Death Eaters, and put his life on the line, but he can't think of a simple gift for his best friend.
God : Sorry.
Ron : Maybe a crystal ball... let her work on her Divination skills.
Joy : *sighs*
Siri : *smacks Ron*
Scene Three - In which Ron talks to himself, and the AFers come in droves.
Ron : Okay, I've known this girl for six years... what the hell does she like?
Cedric : Absolutely hopeless.
Seren : Like most men.
Cedric : Hey!
Ron : She likes school...
Joy : Mind of a genius, that one.
Ron : And House Elves... maybe she wants a House Elf? No wait, she wants to free them...
Siri : There's hope yet for him!
Ron : Maybe a new bookbag?
Lonecall : Or not.
Ron : What do I do? I can't think?
Rianna : Big surprise there.
Ron : This calls for backup.
Act Two, Scene One - Ron needs advice - Harry
Cedric : Absolutely hopeless.
Seren : Like most men.
Cedric : Hey!
Ron : She likes school...
Joy : Mind of a genius, that one.
Ron : And House Elves... maybe she wants a House Elf? No wait, she wants to free them...
Siri : There's hope yet for him!
Ron : Maybe a new bookbag?
Lonecall : Or not.
Ron : What do I do? I can't think?
Rianna : Big surprise there.
Ron : This calls for backup.
Act Two, Scene One - Ron needs advice - Harry
Ron : Harry, I need your help.
Harry : What for?
Ron : I can't think of a present for Hermione.
Harry : Should be simple enough. Wait, did you say Hermione?
Ron : Er, yeah.
Harry : Whoa-boy...
Ron : What did you get Hermione last year?
Harry : A nice ink set.
Ron : But Ginny said...
Harry : Ron, Hermione doesn't think I'm an insensitive wart. I'm allowed to get her meaningless gifts. You, on the other hand...
Ron : I am not a wart!
Siri : Wow, that went totally over his head.
Seren : 30,000 metres and counting.
Harry : Get her something personal, Ron.
Ron : Like what? Knickers?
Seren : *smacks Ron*
Cedric : Knickers sound good.
Seren : *smacks Cedric*
Scene Two - Ron needs advice - Dean, Neville, Colin, and Seamus
Harry : What for?
Ron : I can't think of a present for Hermione.
Harry : Should be simple enough. Wait, did you say Hermione?
Ron : Er, yeah.
Harry : Whoa-boy...
Ron : What did you get Hermione last year?
Harry : A nice ink set.
Ron : But Ginny said...
Harry : Ron, Hermione doesn't think I'm an insensitive wart. I'm allowed to get her meaningless gifts. You, on the other hand...
Ron : I am not a wart!
Siri : Wow, that went totally over his head.
Seren : 30,000 metres and counting.
Harry : Get her something personal, Ron.
Ron : Like what? Knickers?
Seren : *smacks Ron*
Cedric : Knickers sound good.
Seren : *smacks Cedric*
Scene Two - Ron needs advice - Dean, Neville, Colin, and Seamus
Ron : Boys, I call to order this emergency meeting of the Gryffindor Boys Association.
Colin : Where's Harry?
Ron : No clue. Anyways, I need some help.
Dean : We're well aware of that.
Ron : Can it, Thomas, or I'll never let you see my sister again.
Dean : I'm not dating your sister. I'm going steady with Orla Quirke.
HMS Royal Roots : Hallijeauh!
Seamus : Right. Anyways, Ron, what's up?
Ron : Hermione's birthday is coming up. I need help finding her a present.
Neville : Any ideas so far?
Ron : Knickers.
Neville : *rolls eyes*
Ron : *desperately* What do girls like?
Seamus : Flowers.
Dean : Chocolates.
Neville : Poetry?
Colin : Pictures!
Seamus : Backrubs.
Dean : Makeup.
Neville : Something thoughtful.
Colin : This is Ron we're talking about.
Neville : *sighs* Ron, just give her something from the bottom of your heart.
Ron : Right. Knickers it is.
Act Three, Scene One - A moment of realization
Colin : Where's Harry?
Ron : No clue. Anyways, I need some help.
Dean : We're well aware of that.
Ron : Can it, Thomas, or I'll never let you see my sister again.
Dean : I'm not dating your sister. I'm going steady with Orla Quirke.
HMS Royal Roots : Hallijeauh!
Seamus : Right. Anyways, Ron, what's up?
Ron : Hermione's birthday is coming up. I need help finding her a present.
Neville : Any ideas so far?
Ron : Knickers.
Neville : *rolls eyes*
Ron : *desperately* What do girls like?
Seamus : Flowers.
Dean : Chocolates.
Neville : Poetry?
Colin : Pictures!
Seamus : Backrubs.
Dean : Makeup.
Neville : Something thoughtful.
Colin : This is Ron we're talking about.
Neville : *sighs* Ron, just give her something from the bottom of your heart.
Ron : Right. Knickers it is.
Act Three, Scene One - A moment of realization
Ron : What am I going to do?
Harry : *sighs* Ron, has it occurred to you that you could just ask Hermione what she wants?
Ron : Of course! Why didn't I think of that?
Ginny : It's not your strong point.
Hermione : *walks in*
Ron : Hermione! Just the girl I wanted to see.
Hermione : I am NOT revising your homework.
Ron : No, not that. At least, not right now. What do you want for your birthday?
Hermione : *gapes*
Ron : Hermione? Hermione? *concerned* Why is your mouth hanging open?
Hermione : *closes mouth but is silent*
Ron : Come on, Hermione, tell me what you want.
Hermione *to self* Stupid, oafish, thick headed dolt.
Seren : Sing it, sister.
Ron : You want a Firebolt?
Ginny : *sniggers uncontrollably*
Hermione : No.
Ron : How about some dental floss?
Cedric : Ooooo!
Seren : Cedric, shut up! Not that kind.
Cedric : Man...
Hermione : I've got plenty, thank you.
Ron : *to self* I'll owl dad and see what he says....
Harry : *sighs* Ron, has it occurred to you that you could just ask Hermione what she wants?
Ron : Of course! Why didn't I think of that?
Ginny : It's not your strong point.
Hermione : *walks in*
Ron : Hermione! Just the girl I wanted to see.
Hermione : I am NOT revising your homework.
Ron : No, not that. At least, not right now. What do you want for your birthday?
Hermione : *gapes*
Ron : Hermione? Hermione? *concerned* Why is your mouth hanging open?
Hermione : *closes mouth but is silent*
Ron : Come on, Hermione, tell me what you want.
Hermione *to self* Stupid, oafish, thick headed dolt.
Seren : Sing it, sister.
Ron : You want a Firebolt?
Ginny : *sniggers uncontrollably*
Hermione : No.
Ron : How about some dental floss?
Cedric : Ooooo!
Seren : Cedric, shut up! Not that kind.
Cedric : Man...
Hermione : I've got plenty, thank you.
Ron : *to self* I'll owl dad and see what he says....
One week later
Harry : What'd your dad say?
Ron : Get her plugs.
Harry : Great load of help there. *sighs* Let's go shopping…
Harry : What'd your dad say?
Ron : Get her plugs.
Harry : Great load of help there. *sighs* Let's go shopping…
Act Four, Scene One - Out Shopping
Ron : Lacy...see-through...thong..thong...
Harry : *tries very hard not to blush*
Ron : Harry, would Hermione like these?
Harry : What, dental floss? I think she's got enough of that...
Ron : It's not dental floss... see... it's 25 galleons, that's way too much for dental floss.
Harry : *gapes* What's that supposed to cover?
Ron : Er... her bits?
Harry : Ron, that wouldn't cover a garden gnomes bits. I don't think so.
Ron : I like 'em...
Cedric : So do I.
Seren and Joy : *smack Cedric*
Ron : What's the point of this one? The part that covers her bits is torn out.
Cedric : Oooh!
Joy : Seren, how do you know about this underwear stuff?
Seren : Ask me no questions that I cannot answer.
Joy : Crotchless panties?!
Seren : I have a lot of guy friends.
Scene Two - Chaos in the Common Room (Much thanks to Cedric, who's portion I'm stealing and partially retooling.)
Harry : *tries very hard not to blush*
Ron : Harry, would Hermione like these?
Harry : What, dental floss? I think she's got enough of that...
Ron : It's not dental floss... see... it's 25 galleons, that's way too much for dental floss.
Harry : *gapes* What's that supposed to cover?
Ron : Er... her bits?
Harry : Ron, that wouldn't cover a garden gnomes bits. I don't think so.
Ron : I like 'em...
Cedric : So do I.
Seren and Joy : *smack Cedric*
Ron : What's the point of this one? The part that covers her bits is torn out.
Cedric : Oooh!
Joy : Seren, how do you know about this underwear stuff?
Seren : Ask me no questions that I cannot answer.
Joy : Crotchless panties?!
Seren : I have a lot of guy friends.
Scene Two - Chaos in the Common Room (Much thanks to Cedric, who's portion I'm stealing and partially retooling.)
The night before Hermione's Birthday
Ginny : *hums Jingle Bells*
Harry : Ginny, why is there a Christmas tree in the Common Room?
Ginny : Why shouldn't there be?
Harry : Um… because it's September…
Ginny : Good point. Why is there a Christmas tree here?
Seren : Because the scene was originally written as a Christmas fic, but Joy wrote a much better version. The tree stays.
Harry : Whatever.
Cedric: *Pops some dental floss under the Christmas tree*
Ron: *Paces urgently in the common room*
Hermione: What's wrong?
Ron: Oh, nothing. Nothing at all. Didn't want a book, you said?
Hermione: Nope.
Ron: Not a Firebolt?
Hermione: Nope.
Ron: Oh thank Jesus...
Jesus: I concur.
John: Say it brother.
Jesus: Oh yeah.
Hermione: Stupid cameos...
Ron: How about some nice stationary?
Hermione: *Blinks* You kidding me?
Ginny: Say it sister.
Ron: Shut up Ginny.
Seren: *Smacks Ron* Don't talk to your sister like that!
Ginny: Yeah, what she said.
Seren: And you - *points finger at Ginny* - shut up you boy-jumping prat.
Ginny: *Cries*
Seren: Cry me a river.
Cedric: Say it my love.
Ron: Argh!
Hermione: What's wrong?
Harry: Yeah! What's wrong?
Ron: *Whispers to Harry* Did you buy Hermione anything for her birthday?
Harry: 'Course, mate.
Ron: What was it?
Harry: I told you, an Arithmancy book.
Ron: I hate you.
Harry: I love you.
Cedric: *Whispers to Ron* I put some dental floss under the tree, you can use it as your present if you'd like.
Ron: Wow, you'd really let me do that?
Cedric: Sure!
Seren: *Pokes Cedric's eye out*
Ron : Hermione, what do you want?
Hermione : Something I need. *pointed look*
Ron : *panicked voice* What about some perfume?
Joy : Oo, flashback time!
*cue weird, 60's drug induced music*
++FLASHBACK++
Ron : Er, here you go, Hermione.
Hermione : Oo, thanks. *opens gift* Perfume?
Ron : Yeah. Thought you might need it. For... something.
Hermione : *mentally* What? Is he saying that I smell funny or something? *sniffs perfume* Ack! What is this, Eau de Troll Boogie? Maybe he wants to take me out, and he wants me to wear it when I go with him. But why would he want me to smell like a compost heap? Different strokes for different folks, but I doubt Ron wants to go to Hogsmeade with someone that smells like a decaying cabbage. What was he thinking? Maybe he just didn't know any better... I'd better go put on some deoderant.
Ron : *mentally* I wonder if there's any chocolate frogs left.
*end bad 60's music and flashback*
Harry : Ginny, why is there a Christmas tree in the Common Room?
Ginny : Why shouldn't there be?
Harry : Um… because it's September…
Ginny : Good point. Why is there a Christmas tree here?
Seren : Because the scene was originally written as a Christmas fic, but Joy wrote a much better version. The tree stays.
Harry : Whatever.
Cedric: *Pops some dental floss under the Christmas tree*
Ron: *Paces urgently in the common room*
Hermione: What's wrong?
Ron: Oh, nothing. Nothing at all. Didn't want a book, you said?
Hermione: Nope.
Ron: Not a Firebolt?
Hermione: Nope.
Ron: Oh thank Jesus...
Jesus: I concur.
John: Say it brother.
Jesus: Oh yeah.
Hermione: Stupid cameos...
Ron: How about some nice stationary?
Hermione: *Blinks* You kidding me?
Ginny: Say it sister.
Ron: Shut up Ginny.
Seren: *Smacks Ron* Don't talk to your sister like that!
Ginny: Yeah, what she said.
Seren: And you - *points finger at Ginny* - shut up you boy-jumping prat.
Ginny: *Cries*
Seren: Cry me a river.
Cedric: Say it my love.
Ron: Argh!
Hermione: What's wrong?
Harry: Yeah! What's wrong?
Ron: *Whispers to Harry* Did you buy Hermione anything for her birthday?
Harry: 'Course, mate.
Ron: What was it?
Harry: I told you, an Arithmancy book.
Ron: I hate you.
Harry: I love you.
Cedric: *Whispers to Ron* I put some dental floss under the tree, you can use it as your present if you'd like.
Ron: Wow, you'd really let me do that?
Cedric: Sure!
Seren: *Pokes Cedric's eye out*
Ron : Hermione, what do you want?
Hermione : Something I need. *pointed look*
Ron : *panicked voice* What about some perfume?
Joy : Oo, flashback time!
*cue weird, 60's drug induced music*
++FLASHBACK++
Ron : Er, here you go, Hermione.
Hermione : Oo, thanks. *opens gift* Perfume?
Ron : Yeah. Thought you might need it. For... something.
Hermione : *mentally* What? Is he saying that I smell funny or something? *sniffs perfume* Ack! What is this, Eau de Troll Boogie? Maybe he wants to take me out, and he wants me to wear it when I go with him. But why would he want me to smell like a compost heap? Different strokes for different folks, but I doubt Ron wants to go to Hogsmeade with someone that smells like a decaying cabbage. What was he thinking? Maybe he just didn't know any better... I'd better go put on some deoderant.
Ron : *mentally* I wonder if there's any chocolate frogs left.
*end bad 60's music and flashback*
Hermione : No, no perfume, please.
Ron : *eyes Hermione curiously* Did you ever use that perfume?
Hermione : You could say that.
Joy : Another flashback?
Seren : Yes, but hold the hippie music.
Cedric : What shall we play?
Seren : I'm thinking a little Genesis.
++ Flashback ++
Mrs. Granger : Hermione! Death Eaters are attacking the house!
Hermione : I'll stop them!
Death Eaters : scream bang boom kill avada kedavra
Hermione : Oh no! I can't find my wand!
Death Eaters : kill rip beat maim torture
Hermione : You leave me no choice! *empties perfume bottle on them*
Death Eaters : OMGWTFBBQ?! What's that SMELL?! *fall over*
Ron : *eyes Hermione curiously* Did you ever use that perfume?
Hermione : You could say that.
Joy : Another flashback?
Seren : Yes, but hold the hippie music.
Cedric : What shall we play?
Seren : I'm thinking a little Genesis.
++ Flashback ++
Mrs. Granger : Hermione! Death Eaters are attacking the house!
Hermione : I'll stop them!
Death Eaters : scream bang boom kill avada kedavra
Hermione : Oh no! I can't find my wand!
Death Eaters : kill rip beat maim torture
Hermione : You leave me no choice! *empties perfume bottle on them*
Death Eaters : OMGWTFBBQ?! What's that SMELL?! *fall over*
*end flashback*
Cedric : Not the music?
Seren : I love this song! "I can't dance, I can't talk, the only thing about me is the way I walk..."
Hermione : I used all of it up.
Ron : So what do you want?
Hermione : Something simple, but nice.
Ron : Dental floss?
Lonecall : I told you guys, subtle hints don't work.
Seren : Beating him with a frying pan wouldn't work. Why are men so DENSE?!
Cedric : Hey!
Seren : One more word, and it's back to the closet. And no laptop.
Cedric : *sulks*
Scene Three - Hermione's Birthday
Hermione : Oo, what's this, presents? Oh Ron, you did get me something! *pecks Ron on the cheek*
Ron : *blushes*
Cedric : Awwww.
Joy : Awww.
Siri : That's so cute!
Joy : Uh-oh.
Lonecall : What?
Joy : Someone get a barfbag for Seren. She's going to be sick up.
Hermione : *opens present* Er... a wash cloth? That's very.. thoughful of you. Oh, a very..lacy...washcloth...
Ron : Do you like it?
Hermione : Ron, what is this?
Ron : *jubilantly* Knickers!
Hermione : Knickers?!
Cedric : Or dental floss.
Ron : *proudly* Yup.
Hermione : Knickers?
Joy : Crotchless, lacy knickers!
Ron : Aren't they pretty?
Hermione : Knickers.
Gryffindor Common Room : *becomes very uncomfortable*
Seren : Everyone in the closet, this won't be pretty. *hustles everyone in*
Joy : I can't see!
Cedric : Something's in my lap!
Seren : That's me, Cedric.
Cedric : Oh.
Joy : *cracks door open*
Hermione : *turns crimson*
Ron : *is oblivious*
Harry : *knocks on closet door* Can me and Ginny come in?
Seren : Yeah.
Hermione : Ron.
Ron : Yes?
Hermione : Ronald.
Ron : Yes?
Hermione : Ronald Weasley.
Ron : *a bit nervously* Yes, Hermione?
Hermione : Ronald Bilius Weasley.
Gryffindor Boys : And that's our cue to exit.
Seren : *whispers* Here it comes!
Cedric : Can you shift a little, I can't feel my legs.
Seren : That's about to be the least of your concerns.
Joy : What?
Seren : I love this song! "I can't dance, I can't talk, the only thing about me is the way I walk..."
Hermione : I used all of it up.
Ron : So what do you want?
Hermione : Something simple, but nice.
Ron : Dental floss?
Lonecall : I told you guys, subtle hints don't work.
Seren : Beating him with a frying pan wouldn't work. Why are men so DENSE?!
Cedric : Hey!
Seren : One more word, and it's back to the closet. And no laptop.
Cedric : *sulks*
Scene Three - Hermione's Birthday
Hermione : Oo, what's this, presents? Oh Ron, you did get me something! *pecks Ron on the cheek*
Ron : *blushes*
Cedric : Awwww.
Joy : Awww.
Siri : That's so cute!
Joy : Uh-oh.
Lonecall : What?
Joy : Someone get a barfbag for Seren. She's going to be sick up.
Hermione : *opens present* Er... a wash cloth? That's very.. thoughful of you. Oh, a very..lacy...washcloth...
Ron : Do you like it?
Hermione : Ron, what is this?
Ron : *jubilantly* Knickers!
Hermione : Knickers?!
Cedric : Or dental floss.
Ron : *proudly* Yup.
Hermione : Knickers?
Joy : Crotchless, lacy knickers!
Ron : Aren't they pretty?
Hermione : Knickers.
Gryffindor Common Room : *becomes very uncomfortable*
Seren : Everyone in the closet, this won't be pretty. *hustles everyone in*
Joy : I can't see!
Cedric : Something's in my lap!
Seren : That's me, Cedric.
Cedric : Oh.
Joy : *cracks door open*
Hermione : *turns crimson*
Ron : *is oblivious*
Harry : *knocks on closet door* Can me and Ginny come in?
Seren : Yeah.
Hermione : Ron.
Ron : Yes?
Hermione : Ronald.
Ron : Yes?
Hermione : Ronald Weasley.
Ron : *a bit nervously* Yes, Hermione?
Hermione : Ronald Bilius Weasley.
Gryffindor Boys : And that's our cue to exit.
Seren : *whispers* Here it comes!
Cedric : Can you shift a little, I can't feel my legs.
Seren : That's about to be the least of your concerns.
Joy : What?
Hermione
: RONALD BILIUS WEASLEY, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? KNICKERS? KNICKERS?!
ARE YOU TRYING TO IMPLY SOMETHING? AND HOW IN MERLIN'S NAME DID YOU
KNOW MY UNDERWEAR SIZE?
Gryffindor Common Room : *is flattened by Hermione's rage*
Joy : Oof!
Seren : Everyone plug your ears.
Cedric : I can't move my hands!
Hermione : *starts screaming obscenties that only Ron and Cedric can hear.
Cedric : Whoa.
Hermione : *storms off in tears*
Cedric : Damn.
--Ten Minutes Later--
Seren : The coast is clear. Ron's in his dorm and Hermione's off venting her rage.
Joy : Who's she venting on.
Draco : *shrieks in pain down the hall*
Cedric : Nice.
Seren : I rather thought so.
Cedric : So what happens now?
Seren : Not sure.
Joy : Not sure? This is an EBT, it's supposed to have a happy ending.
Seren : Oh. Right. Well, I can't lump her with Harry... well, there's a second part to this, but you'll all have to wait. *walks back into closet*
Cedric : What are you doing?
Seren : Smoking a cig and getting some sleep. I'll have the second part up later.
Harry : Is Ron going to be okay?
Hermione : *from down the hall* NO!
Seren : He'll manage. Ta for now.
Joy : Oof!
Seren : Everyone plug your ears.
Cedric : I can't move my hands!
Hermione : *starts screaming obscenties that only Ron and Cedric can hear.
Cedric : Whoa.
Hermione : *storms off in tears*
Cedric : Damn.
--Ten Minutes Later--
Seren : The coast is clear. Ron's in his dorm and Hermione's off venting her rage.
Joy : Who's she venting on.
Draco : *shrieks in pain down the hall*
Cedric : Nice.
Seren : I rather thought so.
Cedric : So what happens now?
Seren : Not sure.
Joy : Not sure? This is an EBT, it's supposed to have a happy ending.
Seren : Oh. Right. Well, I can't lump her with Harry... well, there's a second part to this, but you'll all have to wait. *walks back into closet*
Cedric : What are you doing?
Seren : Smoking a cig and getting some sleep. I'll have the second part up later.
Harry : Is Ron going to be okay?
Hermione : *from down the hall* NO!
Seren : He'll manage. Ta for now.
Author notes: + For those of you who don't know, EBT's are the brainchild of well, me, but are written by Accio Firebolt members at the forums. Cameos are one of the keystones of an EBT, which is why you see us so much.