When Forever Ends

When forever ends

He didn't know he could feel this way.

Harry thought he had experienced every negative emotion there was: depression, guilt, despair, hatred, loneliness, anger, jealousy. He had felt the entire spectrum of dark feelings course through his body. But he had never felt this - not even when he lost the man he considered to be his family.

He sat in silence with his remaining best friend as they mourned together.

She was gone, never to return.

He felt lost. He felt incomplete. He was acutely aware that part of his soul had just been violently ripped away from him.

There was no more Dream Team. No more Golden Trio. No more ... whatever everyone decided to call them this month.

He didn't know how they would function without her. A tripod doesn't work with two legs. A tricycle doesn't work with two wheels. How could they work without their Other Third?

He stood and began pacing. Ron looked up, silent tears streaking down his pale face.

But Harry was different from his flame-haired friend - as he paced the room like a caged animal, no tears came. It was as though he was feeling so much emotion that it became too much and he turned numb all over. But then he became so numb that the emotions would burst through again. This cycle repeated itself so quickly that he had no time for tears.

He paced the length of the room, vaguely running his hand through his dishevelled hair. After doing this for a good five minutes, and without a semblance of thought, he raised his fist and began thrashing the wall.

Ron cried his name, begging for him to stop. He paid no attention, just repeated the motions until the plaster gave way and a large hole appeared in the wall. He finally stopped, out of breath as though he had just run a marathon. He stood still, cradling his bruised and bloodied hand, but not feeling anything. He was numb.

Ron stood and guided him to the couch. With a heavy sigh, Harry collapsed onto the couch beside his best friend. His only best friend.

As Ron healed his hand, Harry stared off into space, seeing nothing. He always thought that the three of them would be together forever. They would live together, laugh together, grow old together. It was a given - something he never questioned. The sky was blue, the sun rose in the east, good triumphs over evil and the three of them would be together forever.

Ron released his hand, now completely healed, with no signs of the damage that had just been inflicted upon it. Harry rested his head in his hands, overcome by grief. His friend placed his arm around his shoulders, leaning his body into Harry's; squeezing him in what Ron hoped was a comforting way.

Harry closed his eyes and through the blackness of his mind, he saw her face, shining bright. He remembered the first time he saw her - it was nearly ten years ago now. Sometimes it felt like a whole other life, those days of chocolate frogs, trolls and stones. He thought of the last time he saw her - it was only a few days ago, as the three old friends shared dinner and laughed and joked.

He would miss her so much. He would miss her laugh, her smile, her energy. Hell, he would even miss fighting with her, whether it be arguing over small trivial details or screaming over potentially life changing decisions.

But most of all, he would just miss her. Just the mere presence of his best friend - someone who knew him and didn't need things explained or clarified, someone who had been with him through everything, someone who had made both him and his remaining best friend better people. He would miss their Other Third.

As Harry finally cried, his fractured, incomplete soul realised that this is what it felt like to have forever end.