Save Me

Save me

Hermione was happily chatting to Remus and Tonks at the kitchen table of Grimmauld Place. However, the smile on her face instantly faded as Ron entered the room and stalked towards her. Without even acknowledging Remus or Tonks, Ron walked to Hermione and whispered in her ear, "We're having a bad day."

Her eyes flew to his and he merely nodded in return.

"Is everything okay?" Remus asked in concern.

Hermione turned to Remus and Tonks, both of whom were wearing matching expressions of confusion and concern.

"Fine," she replied, and she instantly doubted that they believed her lie. "Could you excuse me for a second?"

"Of course," Tonks replied.

Hermione gave them a brief smile and stood from the table. She started from the room and, after giving Remus and Tonks a brief nod, Ron followed.

As soon as they left the dining room, Hermione took Ron's hand and they headed up the stairs.

"Bad?" Hermione asked with trepidation.

"We've had worse," he replied.

Hermione felt slightly relieved at this, but still she knew that whatever it was, it wouldn't be good.

They stood outside Harry and Ron's room. Ron released his hold of Hermione's hand and gently pushed the bedroom door open.

"Oh, Harry," Hermione breathed, her heart breaking at the sight before her.

Harry was sitting dejectedly on the floor, leaning against his bed. His face was pale and his eyes red and in his hands was a bottle of vodka.

He looked up, smiling slightly at the sight of them. "Hey."

Ron and Hermione entered the room, closing and charming the door behind them. They sat on the floor with him. Ron pried the bottle from his hand.

"How are you doing?" Hermione asked tentatively.

"Yeah, great," he replied with a grimace.

Ron and Hermione exchanged a look. He wasn't drunk, but he was damn close.

"What's wrong, mate?" Ron asked.

After a pause that seemed to stretch for eternity, Harry said in a whisper, "I can't do this."

"Do what?"

"This," Harry replied, as though that explained everything.

Ron looked to Hermione, who shrugged at his unspoken question.

Harry put his head into his hands, and Hermione was certain he was trying not to cry. She didn't know why he was so upset; all she knew was that it broke her heart to see him so anguished. She reached out and put a hand on his leg and noticed Ron rubbing his back reassuringly.

After a few minutes, he re-emerged, swiping at his cheeks.

"I give up. I give in," Harry said gloomily. "I don't want to spend my days and nights training anymore. All I wanna do is hang out with you guys. I want to laugh and have fun and live. I want to live long enough to be the best man at your wedding and have your kids call me Uncle Harry. I don't want to die, even if I die fighting."

Hermione wiped away a tear. She met Ron's eyes, their shared pain over their best friend evident.

"You wouldn't believe what they are making me do. Lupin and Moody, I mean. They're teaching me the most dark and intense magic, and I swear I can feel it seeping into my skin. I feel like I will never be rid of it, that when it courses through my body I'm not me anymore and I never will be again. It's too much."

Harry sighed heavily. There was a long silence, Ron and Hermione letting this new information sink in. They didn't say anything, for what reply could they possibly give that would make any kind of difference?

"Everyone expects me to save them. To save the whole goddamn world. But who is going to save me?" Harry asked, his voice breaking slightly.

It took all of Hermione's will not to start sobbing. She felt Ron take her hand and she gripped it tightly, wondering who was comforting who.

"Some days, all I can think about is running away. Just leaving in the middle of the night and never coming back."

Hermione wiped away another tear, an idea forming in her head.

"So why don't you?" she said gently, taking his hand in hers.

"What?" Harry asked, genuinely startled.

"If that's what you want, you should do it. We'll go with you. The three of us can leave, tonight."

Ron squeezed her hand. She looked to him and his face screamed, What the hell are you doing? She met his look with one of her own. Trust me.

"You know I can't do that, Hermione," he replied, slightly bitter.

She looked him deep in the eyes. "Why not?"

"Because," he protested, annoyed. "The prophecy. The Horcruxes. Any of this ringing a bell?"

"Screw it," she replied, shocking them both. "You're only seventeen. It's not fair. You shouldn't have to do this. Come on, lets go," she began pulling on his hand to reinforce the idea.

Harry turned to Ron, a thousand words being silently passed between them in seconds. He turned back to Hermione, his sad, glassy eyes locking on hers. "You know I can't."

She smiled slightly. "Yes, you can. But you won't."

Harry looked confused. So did Ron.

"You won't run because it's not who you are. You're a fighter, Harry. It's one of the things we love most about you. And even if you had the option, you would stay and fight. Even if there was no prophecy, you would stay and fight, because it's the right thing to do."

Harry looked on the verge of an emotional breakdown after having his psyche so analysed by Hermione. He put his head in his hands again. Ron and Hermione shared a brief glance and they both inched forward to embrace him, Hermione placing her head on his shoulder as Ron wrapped an arm around them. Harry sagged in their embrace, tears falling down his cheeks.

"And don't worry," Ron said, barely above a whisper. "Hermione and I, we will save you."