For Friendship

For Friendship

By Tari Manveri

    “So what did you want to talk to me about, Prongs?” Sirius asked. Sirius Black and James Potter were sitting together in the morning sun on the wall of Hogwarts castle, between two turrets, with their legs dangling over the edge of the battlements.

    “Well,” said James, looking down at his hands and turning them over to stare into his palms, “Lily Evans has finally said she’ll go out with me.”

    Sirius fixed his gaze somewhere out over the Forbidden forest. “She did?” He sounded startled. James nodded. There was an uncomfortable pause. Sirius turned his head so that he, too, was looking at James’ hands. “That’s… I mean, that’s great, mate.”

    James nodded again. The sun picked out reddish glints from his black hair as he moved his head. Sirius was looking out over the forest again, squinting against the sun. James reached out tentatively and laid a hand on Sirius’ shoulder. Sirius started at the touch.

    “That’s great, Prongs,” he said again, still without looking at James.

    “Are you… okay with that, Padfoot?” James peered intently at Sirius, whose eyes were partially obscured by the slightly-too-long hair that was flopping across his face.

    “Yeah.” Sirius nodded faintly.

    “I’m really sorry, Sirius, mate,” said James. “Seriously!” He nudged Sirius in the ribs with his elbow. Sirius smiled faintly, for just a moment. Then he sighed.

    “It’s not your fault. Don’t apologize.”

    “You know, Sirius, it never would have worked anyway, even if she never caved in to my indisputable charms,” said James with a flash of mocking arrogance that quickly turned into a bitter smile. “No matter how much either of us wanted it to.”

    “No, I s’pose not,” said Sirius tonelessly.

    “No, it wouldn’t have. I’m straight. I can’t change that. I just can’t think of you that way.”

    “I know.” Sirius’ shoulders drooped a little.

    “I mean, you’re my best friend, no matter what. You’re my adopted brother… my comrade-in-arms against the Establishment and the Slytherins… You’re just not my… my…”

    “I’m not your…” Sirius swallowed, and took a deep breath, “lover.”

    “No.”

    This time they both stared out into the bright sky over the Forbidden forest for a long time.

    “I suppose it’s because of the Prank,” said Sirius finally. “She probably thinks you’re a hero now for saving Snivelly. She always did stick up for him – the scum,” he added, viciously.

    “Probably,” said James. “But I don’t want to talk about it. It was really stupid of you, Sirius.”

    Sirius’ face darkened with anger. “That bastard, Snape – Snivellus… he asked for it, saying that…”

    “It was the stupidest thing you’ve ever done,” said James shortly. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

    “I know. But James, Snape, he…”

    “Sirius,” James interrupted loudly, “even if he’d stood in Dumbledore’s chair in the great hall at breakfast and shouted to the entire school that we were screwing each other to the moon, he wouldn’t have deserved what you tried to do to him.”

    “Yes, but James,” Sirius began again, even more heatedly, “he…”

    “Sirius, shut up! It was a bastardly thing for him to say, yes, but you don’t do that to your enemies just because they insult you. You don’t do that to your friends.”

    Sirius seemed to deflate. He hung his head and looked at the ground far below his dangling feet. “All right, it was stupid,” he said wearily. And I don’t think Remus will ever forgive me.”

    “No, I don’t know that he will.” James frowned. “Imagine if he had actually bitten Snape…” He shook his head. “No, don’t. I don’t want to think about it.”

    Sirius shifted guiltily. “I think I’m with you on that. But James…” he looked directly, if uncertainly, at James for the first time. “We will always be best friends, won’t we, even if we aren’t… anything else?”

    “Yes.” James grinned.

    “And comrades-in-arms against the Establishment and the Slytherins?” Sirius grinned too.

    “Of course. Even if I marry Lily.”

    Sirius grimaced. “Marry Lily? I mean, yeah, you’ve had it bad for her since third year, but mate, you’re only seventeen. Aren’t you a little young to think of that sort of thing?”

    James looked at Sirius very soberly. “Seventeen isn’t so young anymore. We’re of age… we’re going to be joining Dumbledore’s Order of the Phoenix in three more months and fighting Evil. Dumbledore asked Lily to join too, you know,” he added.

    “Yeah…” Sirius looked out at the forest again. The sun was rising higher in the sky now and the air was beginning to be hot. The two boys sat in silence for a moment, blue-black and brown-black hair shining in the sun.

    “I’m glad you’re okay with me and Lily,” said James at last. “I wanted to tell you in private. And I promise I’ll try not to make too much out of it, so it doesn’t hurt so badly.”

    “Thanks,” said Sirius. “Prongs.” He leaned against James just a little.

    “Hey Padfoot,” said James after another silence, “I think you could do with a haircut.” He brushed the hair out of Sirius’ eyes. “You’re starting to look like a really, really dirty mop.”

    Sirius smacked James’ hand away. “Look who’s talking.” He smiled lopsidedly and punched James lightly on the shoulder. “We should call you Sprogs, not Prongs, with your hair.”

    “What we should do,” said James, “is sneak down to the kitchens and find ourselves some breakfast.”

    “I’m all for that,” said Sirius, swinging his legs over the battlement. “Deep discussions always make me hungry.” He jumped down onto the parapet, brushed the dust off his robes, and gave every indication of taking off for the kitchens that very instant.

    Before he could go far, though, James caught up with him. “Hey Sirius, wait!”

    Sirius stopped and looked questioningly at James. James walked slowly up to Sirius, and took him by the shoulders. He looked Sirius straight in the eyes.

    “Sirius…” said James, and kissed him, right there on the parapet with the Forbidden forest tossing in the breeze just at the edge of their vision.

    “What was that?” gasped Sirius, when he overcame his shock enough to catch his breath. “What did you do that for?”

    “For friendship, Padfoot,” said James. “To give you something to go on with until you find someone who feels the same as you.”

    Sirius smiled, then grinned, and threw an arm over James’ shoulders. “All right then. Adopted brothers, Prongs?”

    James beamed widely in answer. “Adopted brothers, Padfoot, old friend.”