Rating:
G
House:
Riddikulus
Genres:
General Humor
Era:
Multiple Eras
Spoilers:
Goblet of Fire
Stats:
Published: 12/19/2004
Updated: 04/06/2006
Words: 12,651
Chapters: 7
Hits: 6,323

Molly Weasley's Practical Guide to Magical Childcare

tante

Story Summary:
Every mother of small children should have these charms at her disposal. What were the Weasley children like when they were small? Here are the things none of the children would like us to know.

Chapter 02

Chapter Summary:
What do you do now that your baby is crawling & walking.
Posted:
12/27/2004
Hits:
684


Crawling & Walking: Six Months to Eighteen Months

My sister jokes that we spend the first two years of our children's lives enthusiastically encouraging them to talk and walk; then the next sixteen begging them to shut up and sit down. I do love this stage, though. Children this age start to show personality and you'll see growth every day. Now, remember dear, babies are naturally inquisitive. Those little brains want so much information. Everything is fresh and interesting to them; nothing seems dangerous or nasty. Of, course their magical core makes them resistant to injury, but you still can't be too careful what they get into. The key focus here is child-proofing your home to prevent as much injury and preserve as much sanity as possible.

Gripping Charm - attineo

I love this particular gripping charm and have used it since the beginning. I'm rather sentimental about it as my mother taught it to me back in my carefree days expecting our first born. There's nothing so slippery as a soapy baby. This spell allows you to maintain a much firmer grip on your little one so you can get them clean and out of the bath without you getting one as well. Although in the early days that may well be the only kind of bath you have time to take. Remember those cheering charms, dear.

Other excellent times for this charm are fits of temper. At about eighteen months, my baby girl Ginny awoke one morning a fully fledged tantrum specialist. Not only did she cry and moan constantly, but she learned to make her body limp or rigid so she'd be more difficult to move. It was rather impressive. Gripping charms became a way of life for her. I cast one during a particularly spectacular tantrum in the shops when she was twenty months old and didn't remove it until she became more reasonable at three years old.

Book Protection Spell - eviscero interdictum

Arthur and I have always loved books. We had quite a collection when we began our family. We firmly believed that exposing our children to books would make them more intelligent and ready for the world. Exposing books to children, however, is not as advantageous for the books. My eldest loved books, but would as often tread on them as read them. After Bill mutilated a lovely old picture book from my childhood, I consulted Madam Pince, the Hogwarts' librarian. Any book lovers with small children should owl a little gift and ask her advice. She'll reply with an excellent leaflet of her favorite spells and their effects. With permission, here's my favorite. Eviscero iterdictum - stops your darlings from ripping pages out of their books. It simply makes the pages impossible to tear. It's basic and dead useful. There are other more amusing spells in her leaflet. Some of the effects are quite entertaining; such a wonderfully clever woman, I highly recommend her advice. Cheers, Madame Pince! One of the perks of magical motherhood is the chance to have a good laugh at your children's expense as often as possible. Better than a cheering charm.

Age Line - parvulus intirdictum

For persistent children, those natural hellions, to whom limitations have no meaning whatsoever; this spell is a vital necessity. I have a perfectly matched set of such hellions, as you well know. Fortunately they've grown into two of the Diagon Alley's most promising young entrepreneurs. So do the best you can by your children, dear. They may surprise you in the end. Even if they did give you no end of nausea and grief from the day they began to crawl. Their worst incident led to the discovery of this brilliant charm. Just two days after I caught eighteen month old Fred and George emptying the kitchen dust bin and feeding each other banana peels; I found them toddling out of the laundry room scraping cat sand off their tongues and teeth. They'd learned to open doors that morning. Happy surprise. The St. Mungo's pediatric healer had a lovely laugh. He said there was nothing in the cat poop per se that would be harmful, but wasn't sure about chemicals in the cat sand. He called in the potion specialist, who also had a lovely laugh. It was just too nasty for me. I was so nauseous they had to give me a calming draught before they let me take the children home. My darling Arthur came home that night with chocolates, flowers and the research on this sanity saving spell. He'd mentioned the incident to Albus Dumbledore in the course of the afternoon, who kindly managed not to laugh until after he'd taught Arthur this spell. Evidently, it's one of his favorites and that's good enough for me. We set off 'round the house putting this thin golden line about every disgusting, dangerous or fragile thing we could think of. I added a repelling charm to my age lines so the children would be gently pushed away from the object. Arthur's lines thoughtfully changed them different colors so I could tell what they'd been into.

Don't forget to modify the age lines as your children grow - for instance, adjust the line around the loo before you begin toilet training. I sent poor Ron scooting across the floor on his bare bum - took him forever to forgive me and give it another go.

Transcription Spell - transcriptum

My twins fancied themselves little DaVincis. They'd take their crayons or my favorite lipsticks to any available surface; and every creation seemed to them, worthy of giving their lives to preserve. So, rather than spend all day scouring the house in it's entirety and fighting with traumatized toddlers sobbing over their lost works; transcriptum would transfer any drawings from forbidden objects to their own bodies. Because, it didn't so much matter to me if they marked on themselves, they could enjoy their work at least until the next bath. I remember a rather charming drawing of Arthur and me which transferred to their knees for the better part of a week because they'd used ink to make the drawing on their bedroom wall. Oh, and they were particularly fond of lipstick handprints on the drawing room sofa or printed F's and G's in lipstick on the good carpet. And, yes, I did hide the lipsticks, thank you. To this day, I have no idea how two wandless toddlers managed to find my lipstick again and again, even if I hid it magically.


Author notes: just so you know – all the incidents in this story are the true antics of my four children and my sister’s four children. And, yes, the cat litter incident is particularly true. Her name is Emma, she’s mine, and in the muggle world she’s earned the name “destructo-girl.” The more fantastic happenings have either come from her (my second born) or from her cousin Spencer (my sister’s thrid). You’ll hear from Spencer next time.

Thank you so much for your very kind reviews. Particularly that you thought the story was indeed funny or at least amusing and were looking forward to more. I’ll be going up through age ten because that’s where my experience stops. Sorry, not really Molly Weasley – and not old enough to have twenty something year old children. Boy, I wish for a wand. Especially for those darned, oops, darling two to three year olds.