Once A Student - Always A Student?

Tonks opened her eyes with a start. She felt so odd. Since becoming a mother she'd experienced lots of strange dreams, but this one was one of the strangest. And one of the most real. She was so used to transforming into different people and becoming whoever she wanted to, but the girl in her dreams, this Coventina person, she was too much like her. It felt like she was her. A girl who could change her hair and nail colour at whim. A girl with a stranger name than her own. A girl who was killed by Lupin. No, it was definitely a dream.

But something else bothered Tonks. She was disturbed that she could think badly of Lupin. Her Lupin. Why was she having such awful thoughts about her own husband, even if it was just in a dream? He was not a murderer. This was not the type of dream she should be having about her new husband. It wasn't healthy dreaming that he would murder a defenceless girl.

And what was that Snape stuff all about? Giving birth obviously messed with the mind. She detested Snape and would never dream about him out of choice. But it felt so real; it felt like she really was that girl. That poor girl. She'd even felt a sharp pain as Coventina fell.

Tonks looked around the room. She was still disorientated by her dream and not sure where she was. Lupin wasn't present, she knew that much. And neither was her baby.

"Teddy," she whispered out loud, just to be sure.

There was silence. No comforting gargle of a baby recognising the warm, loving voice of its mother. Nothing.

The room was dark, so dark she couldn't make out any objects in it. She couldn't even tell if she was sitting down or standing up, but she didn't feel alarmed. In fact, she didn't really feel anything.

"Hello?" she called out weakly.

Still nothing.

She concentrated harder on her surroundings. She guessed she was hidden away in some house somewhere, planning an attack on Voldemort. Every member of the Order was moving around to so many houses these days, she frequently lost track where she actually was.

As long as Harry was OK, and Teddy, her beautiful Teddy, then everything would be fine.

She'd talk to someone about her odd dream later. She knew she was being silly about it, but she just wanted to put her mind at ease. She would check that there was no person actually called Coventina, and then she could banish these ridiculous thoughts from her mind. Maybe she'd even talk to Lupin about it. She was sure he'd laugh at her, but she knew he'd make her feel better.

Actually, no. She wasn't going to waste anyone's time and bother them with stupid worries about dreams. There was a war on. She felt ashamed that she was giving her dream so much thought at a time like this.

She tried to move.

She couldn't.

She tried again.

Now panic really was rising.

"Stay where you are," said an unidentified voice, as a presence drifted into the room.

"Who's there?" Tonks called out. "Where am I? Where's Lupin? Where's my baby?"

"Your baby is fine."

"Where's Lupin?" she asked quietly.

Silence.

"I want to see him now," she shouted this time, but her voice sounded weak.

"You'll see him eventually," continued the voice.

"I want to see him now."

"You can't."

"Why?"

No answer.

"Why?" she tried again, feeling more and more helpless.

"You're dead."