Starting Again

I made my way back to the remnants of the night's events, walking over pieces of the walls now lying on the floor. Everything seemed so much more real than it had before. It had been such a blur. All I had seen had swarmed past my eyes, but now, I saw everything in its integrity. This school, Hogwarts, had always been a home for me, and I hated seeing it so ruined. I couldn't believe the final battle had to end here, where everything began for me.

Automatically, I made my way over to the sea of red hair. As I got closer, I broke into a run. I needed to be there. They were my family. My run slowed to a light jog, finally turning back into a walk. I approached them with Ron and Hermione at my heels. I looked down at Fred's lifeless body. It was amazing hard to believe that this guy who would be, should be, here with us, joking and making us feel better was not.

I felt that Fred's death as my fault; everyone's death was my fault. I should have never brought the war back to the school with so many innocent kids. I felt a twinge of guilt for being alive. I had given myself up so all of these people could live, but here I was living, while they were all gone.

My eyes wondered off Fred's body to Ginny's. She was bent down, head in her hands, obviously crying. Her hair that was usually a vibrant red seemed much paler and much longer than it had ever been. Mr. Weasley had his arms around her comfortingly; this was a time where Ginny wasn't a sixteen-year-old teenager, but his little girl.

Mr. Weasley looked up at me, and our eyes met. He just looked at me, saying something to me with his eyes. We lost contact, and he took his arm away from his daughter and moved towards his wife. I walked towards her. I had nothing to worry about anymore, and there was no reason I couldn't, for everything that was holding me back was gone, and so

I sat down on my bloodstained, tired knees. I took her hands away from her face and held them tightly in my hands mine. I looked straight into her big teary brown eyes. I tried to look past them into what she was thinking, but I couldn't find the thought. It had been a year since I'd seen her face; she looked so much older than she had been. One year could make such a huge difference.

Her eyes filled up with a fresh set of tears. I pulled her into me closer, putting her head on my shoulder and cradling her body in my arms. I wanted to stay in that position forever. A surreal feeling had come over me just being with her again. The feeling of fresh hot tears began to form on my shoulder.

I had never been good with anyone crying, especially girls. I had learned that well in fifth year because of Cho Chang and Cedric's death. This was different though; it didn't bother me this time. I felt protective, not awkward, as I usually did. It is was a feeling I couldn't really describe, as if nothing mattered but making her feel better and safe.

Hours seemed to have gone by before Mrs. Weasley suggested we go somewhere else, while they sorted things out. Where were we to go? The school was in ruins, violently spread out across the ground.

"Why don't we go find a quiet spot outside?" Hermione suggested. "I'm sure there is some place that we can just sit and relax."

We found a quiet spot by the lake. Sitting on the lake's edge was one of my favorite spots amidst the whole school- it was peaceful there. The only thing that bothered me was the thought of the Merpeople living in the lake.

I sat down next to Ginny, holding her next to me again. Ron and Hermione were in a similar position next to us. It was kind of weird seeing them together in that way. Something was telling me I should get used to it. For the past year I'd been waiting for them to just get together, but now I wasn't so sure.

"So are they, like, together, now?" Ginny whispered to me.

"Yeah," I whispered back.

It was the first thing I had said to her since the war battle had happened.

We continued to sit at the lake's edge for a while. I didn't want to move and wouldn't even if I was forced to. Ron and Hermione seemed totally out now; they had fallen asleep about ten or so minutes ago.

"You know, you scared me half to death there for a while," Ginny quietly told my ear. "I really though you were dead."

"I did too." I had never thought I would have been Avada Kedavra-ed by Voldemort twice and live to tell the tale of both accounts.

"What do you mean, 'I did too'?"

How was I supposed to tell her that I had gone off and sacrificed myself to the only person who would find profounding glory from by killing me to save the rest of the Wizarding world so they could go on living lives Voldemort- free?

"Harry, everything's done and over. I don't think anyone, including Dumbledore, would care if you shared all the information you've been hiding. You left without us knowing where, without me having a trace of what you were doing or where you were going. I think I deserve to know what I was so worried about."

Ginny was always straight to the point. She had always known what the wanted to say and said it with an amazing amount of force. This time she had done it well enough, not only with her words, but the look on her face. I couldn't deny her request.

"I think you do. Everything starts out before Voldemort was even born. His whole family history is really messed up. His father was a Muggle, his mum a squib. His father left his mother, pregnant with Voldemort, after he found out she was a witch."

I explained every bit of Voldemort's back-story to her. I didn't use much detail, such as names because I was expecting Ginny to start getting bored. She wasn't though; she seemed to be listening very intently, making sure she heard every single word.

"Horcruxes are pieces of a person's soul, split up in two, by death and put into objects, alive or dead ones. Voldemort was afraid of death and with Horcruxes he could not die until all of the Horcruxes had been destroyed first. He had seven of them, the diary that had possessed you, the Gaunt ring, Hufflepuff's cup, Ravenclaw's diadem, Slytherin's locket, Nagini, and...." This one was going to be hard for me to say aloud, what the final Horcrux was, the one I could never believe possible. "The final one was I me. So I was going to sacrifice myself so he could be killed. Basically I was going to let him murder me."

"Harry! How come you didn't come to talk to anyone? You didn't even try to say good bye."

"I was to afraid to. Anyways, when he went to kill me, everything backfired on him and I was really alive. Remember how I said Voldemort had taken my blood? Well because of that and the protection my mother had over me, I could not be killed while he still had my blood."

I continued to explain all about the conversation with Dumbledore that happened in my head and how the Elder Wand worked. It felt so good to let all of this information go. It was like a weight was lifted off my tired head.

"I'm glad I didn't die."

"I'm glad you didn't either. Life would of have felt over with you gone. If you hadn't been alive, I would of beat the hell out of any Death Eater that I met out of the hatred for them all."

"I'm sure you would."

We sat in silence for a few minutes. This seemed like the perfect moment to let my feelings ride out full steam. It was time. My old crap-of-a-life was over, and it was time to start over with a pleasurable new one.

I pulled her in closer to me.

"Ginny," I breathed. "I love you."