Never Mind Affection

Never Mind Affection

Chapter 3

This time Hermione did not stifle the urge to roll her eyes. Nor did she stifle the urge to clench and unclench her jaw. She couldn't stop her appetite from leaving, either, as she felt eyes like sharpened steel piercing the top of her forehead. She read and re-read the first sentence of paragraph two, page 204 of Bold in Her Breeches: Women Pirates Across the Ages. The study of female pirates being her new hobby. Her eyes rose to meet those of Draco Malfoy, object of her disdain. They stared unblinking for a long moment. She stabbed a potato with her fork, placed it in her mouth, whilst Draco did the same--only with string beans. It was becoming a contest of wills. A mutual understanding robed in silence. Hermione didn't fail. Draco didn't lose. She put down her fork, gathered her book, which she had propped up against a pitcher of pumpkin juice, and rose slowly from her seat, as did Malfoy--only with an affected heir of superiority. They eyeballed each other all the way to the entrance of the Great Hall.

"Granger."

"Malfoy."

"You don't usually eat at this time," Hermione said, folding her arms. Two chatty first years entered the hall, breaking the intense eye contact Hermione and Draco had been maintaining for the last ten minutes.

"Yes, well, I had an urgent matter to attend," Draco said, his lips twisting in a cool smirk, "Not that it's any business of yours."

Hermione surveyed him with hard eyes. She loathed him. She was sure of it. How could she hold any affection for such a pompous, arrogant, conniving, depraved, wanton, lascivious . . . Oh, for heaven's sake! I might be here for days. Draco leaned casually against the doorframe, watching the slow trickle of students coming for or leaving a late dinner, waiting patiently for Hermione to finish her mental list of his finer qualities.

"Am I that beautiful?" Draco asked softly, snapping Hermione out of her reverie. He was tremendously pleased to finally have Hermione within grabbing distance. He knew exactly what to do. He had been pondering it on his way to dinner, but when he saw Hermione sitting there amongst Scarhead and his redheaded lackeys, he knew fate had smiled upon him. When he saw Scarhead and his redheaded lackeys leave without his mudblood, he knew fate was giving him a kick in the arse. This moment was meant to be.

Hermione used this opportunity to roll her eyes one more time, as she had ceased to do so in the presence of her two best friends. She hugged her book close to her chest and left the Great Hall in a cloud of chestnut brown curls. Draco immediately followed, making sure no one was watching. Aiming his wand at her back, he muttered, "Silencio," and grabbed her from behind as she began to climb the stairway to her dormitory.

"Don't bother, pet," he said as she began to open her mouth, "No one can hear you." Draco waggled his eyebrows at the shocked Hermione, gleefully threw her over his shoulder and made haste toward a hidden door beneath the grand staircase.

********

"Finite."

As soon as Hermione's kicking feet set down on the rough stone floor, she went straight for Draco's throat, flinging from her hands her new passion. The ferociousness of her attack knocked both of them to the floor.

"Why . . .won't . . .you . . . leave . . . me . . . alone?!" Hermione screamed as her vice tight grip on Draco's throat began to turn his face blue.

"Because," he gasped, "I've been wanting you to straddle me like this for weeks, love."

Hermione let go with one hand, and before Draco could react, slapped him hard across the face. Draco pried her thumb from his adam's apple and--clutching her wrists in white knuckled fists--threw her forcibly from his lap. Hermione scrambled to her feet as Draco rose effortlessly, smoothing his robes.

"I should kill you for that," Draco said, grinning mirthlessly, "but I'd rather . . . well, we've been over this before, haven't we?"

"You're disgusting."

"And you're a frigid little twit, but you do have potential."

"Spoiled, loathsome, contemptible--"

"Prissy, know-it-all, prudish--"

" . . . evil, depraved, hellish--"

" . . . filthy, dirty, cock-tease!"

" . . . wretched, putrid, pile of hypogriff dung!"

Hermione and Draco stood motionless, staring at each other. Chests heaving, teeth bared, cuts bleeding, wand hands twitching.

And then, as if on cue, each brandished their wands. Hermione, prepared to do whatever was necessary to escape this dark little room, and Draco, prepared to do whatever was necessary to get laid this very evening.

"Leave me alone!"

"No."

"Why not?!"

"Because I always get what I want," Draco stated matter-of-factly.

"Want?" Hermione looked completely nonplussed. "All you've ever wanted from me was my death, dismemberment and/or severe maiming."

"Yes, but not before I've had my way with you."

"But you just said I'm filthy."

"Yes."

"Prissy."

"That's right."

"A cock-tease."

"Must you be so thorough at this very moment? I didn't bring you here for rehash." Hermione grabbed her hair with both hands and screamed. She was sure she had been sucked into some alternate universe where Malfoy was still evil but had the hots for her.

"YOU . . . BLOODY . . . HATE . . . ME!"

"So I hate you and everything about you, your friends and all that you stand for. Why should any of that interfere with our sex lives?" Draco said, desperation creeping into his voice.

"Because sex should be something you do with someone, not to someone, Malfoy. The first time should be special, with someone you love. It shouldn't be a violent test of wills."

"Is that what you want from your redheaded vagabond? Rose petals and satin sheets? I didn't think you were capable of such cliché."

"Cliché! I'll have you know--"

"How did it feel when our lips connected for the first, then second time? Why haven't you tattled to McGonagall about me harassing you, already? Why haven't you turned me into a pile of sludge, then, Granger, if you want me to leave you alone so badly? I haven't even taken your wand. "

"Well, I... I," Hermione sputtered, "Oh, honestly, why am I even having this discussion with you?!"

"Because you want me, just as much as I want you, love. Admit it. Romance and affection be damned. Miss Picture-of-Piety wants to shag Draco Malfoy senseless!"

Hermione stood speechless before Draco, her eyes searching his face. Her teeth sinking into her bottom lip.

"You're mad," she whispered finally.

"Yes."

Suddenly, Draco advanced upon Hermione and--before she could protest--was swept into his arms. His fingers tangled in her curls. His lips tasting hers for the third time. Hermione's head was swimming. Was this to be her first romance, hidden beneath a staircase with a man who incited her to both violence and profanity?

"No."

"What?"

"You are not going to turn something special to me into something tawdry and dirty!"

"Why not? I've been a very dirty boy, and I was hoping you'd be a little dirty, too."

Hermione's face flushed scarlet.

"Look, Malfoy, I can't do this with you. I refuse. I have friends--"

"You have friends. They might not speak to you for a few weeks if they knew what you are considering right now. But I have a father who would crucio me to madness if he knew what I was up to."

"Oh, Draco, He couldn't." Hermione said compassionately. Her hand caressed his face. Shocked, Draco brought his hand up to meet hers and grabbed her wrist roughly.

"Draco?" he said, a slight sneer playing on his lips, "Let's not get presumptuous, pet. I've not spent weeks of my life stalking you just to obtain your worthless pity! I will have what I want. Here. Now. In the place or on the thing of your choosing."

Hermione's anger threatened to boil over. She felt her fingers twitch against her wand, but she wasn't angry with Draco. She was loosing control. She didn't know what to do with herself.

So, she decided to do what she had felt like doing all along.

To hell with decorum, she thought. Hermione could feel the blood soaring through her veins as an adrenaline rush took hold. That's when Hermione Granger grabbed Draco Malfoy by the collar of his starched robes and kissed him with less passion than viciousness, slamming him against the cold stone wall. Pressing her body into his. Tearing at his robes. Sucking and biting into his lip.

Flushed and panting, she released him and stumbled backwards, giving Draco a moment to collect himself. She had never kissed anyone like that. He had never been kissed like that.

He stared incredulously, touching his fingers to his bruised and bleeding lip.

"Now that's more like it . . . But what was that for?" Draco said cautiously. He'd been here before.

"That," Hermione said, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, "was for being the sexiest bastard I ever had the displeasure of knowing." Draco snorted at the compliment and silently thanked the Weasleys for adding a little color to Hermione's vocabulary.

"Glad you've come to your senses. Now, where--"

Suddenly, Hermione delivered a shocking blow to Draco's mid-section. Draco doubled over in pain, making a valid attempt to hold on to that night's dinner.

"What was that for?" Draco asked, the contents of stomach threatening to reveal itself to one and all.

"That was for being a contemptible little prat to my friends and I for seven years." Deftly, Hermione clasped her hands together and, while Draco still cradled his abdomen, brought them down hard on his back. Draco stumbled forward, but managed to steady himself on the wall in front of him.

"That was for forcing me to kiss you three times!" Hermione then shot her foot out, hooked it around Draco's ankle and pulled his leg out from under him. Draco tumbled against the hard stone wall, scraping his hand and forehead as he went. Moaning in pain, Draco fixed Hermione with a murderous glare. Hermione aimed her wand between Draco's eyes.

"That was because I liked it."

"And this next bit is because I never want to feel like it, again."

*****

Draco awoke feeling slightly groggy and just a bit chilly. He opened his eyes to find complete darkness before him. Not even a speck of moonlight shone through his window. How odd, he thought, I don't remember coming back to my room after dinner. He was suddenly filled with dread as he came to realisation.

He couldn't move his arms.

Or his legs. Or anything else, for that matter. And he was cold because--and he was sure of it--he was completely naked. Not a stitch remained on his shivering body, except for what he was certain was a hood covering his head. As he became more aware of his surroundings, he realized his surroundings were lacking a floor. He was apparently hovering mid-air. And there were people about, because he was certain he heard voices.

Laughing, actually.

And did someone just gasp?

Hold on. The wheels of his mind began to turn properly for the first time since he had awoken. Naked. Hood. Levitation . . . Laughter. There was only one bloody, stinking witch with enough bloody, stinking gall to pull off a bloody stinking spell like this. He hoped to Salazar he wasn't getting wood.

"Granger! I know you're there you worthless, sodding guttersnipe! You'll be drawn and quartered, you scrawny little fowl, just as soon as my father--" Draco's tirade came to an abrupt end. Oh, good and gracious Merlin.

The hood slid from Draco's face, and below him stood Hermione Granger, object of his unkempt desire and unbridled hatred. Not to mention a host of students from every house and ever year--including Weasley, the Weaslette, and that infernal Harry Potter.

He was going to kill her. He was going to have his way with her--again and again--and then kill her. The mudblood's consent was no longer necessary.

"How dare you . . . in front of all these . . ." His eyes swept the gawking crowd, his voice deadly. His eyes murderous. His face an attractive shade of eggplant.

Hermione abated her eyes for a moment, but quickly returned them to Draco's goosefleshed nakedness.

"I try to keep me promises, Malfoy."

"Hold on," Ginny burst in, "You don't owe this flaming git any explanations. He started the whole business."

"Yeah, this dickless todger deserves everything he gets," said Ron, redfaced.

"I could buy and sell you all day, penniless trash" Draco spat, "and as for my . . . member, I could choke you with it from here, but I'd rather not get it dirty." Draco smirked as the crowd guffawed . . . but why was Weasley laughing?

"Malfoy, you . . . your member is . . . good, lord, man, can't you feel it?"

"What are you on about, Potter?"

"Well . . .what Ron said . . . you don't . . .Just look down, mate." Harry swallowed the urge to roll on the floor in hysterics.

Draco closed his eyes.

It couldn't be possible.

He angled his eyes toward his crotch, and saw . . .nothing. Draco let out an earsplitting scream, and when he was finished bit his lip to keep from crying.

"Great Merlin's mantle! What is going on here?!" Professor McGonagall bellowed from the back of the crowd. She cut through the crowd of students when she spotted Harry and Ron.

"I don't care what Malfoy's done. You two will be in detention for the rest of your natural lives!"

"Professor!"

"Yes, Miss Granger?"

"I'm responsible. Not Harry and Ron."

"Wha--" she looked up at Malfoy, winced and looked back at Hermione again. She didn't believe her ears.

"Finite," she said with a wave of her wand. Draco landed on the ground with a thud and immediately covered his . . . crotch. The crowd of students stood there looking completely gobsmacked. Professor McGonagall had ended the spell but Draco's penis had not returned.

"Well, what are you all gaping at?" he bellowed, "Sod off, the lot of you!"

McGonagall conjured a pair of trousers for Draco and shooed the students back to their dormitories.

"Miss Granger," McGonagall said, careful not to look in Draco's direction. "Please, be so kind as to return Mr. Malfoy's . . .organ."

"I can't"

"You can't." McGonagall closed her eyes for a moment, grasping the bridge of her nose between her thumb and forefinger. She never expected this sort of behavior from Hermione Granger. Amongst her peers, the girl had always been the voice of reason. She was Head Girl for Merlin's sake! "And why is that?"

"He's the only one that can find it. Those are the conditions of the spell."

Professor McGonagall sighed heavily. She looked from the shame faced Hermione to the purple faced Draco and then back again. For years she had been in support of splitting Hogwarts into a girls' school and a boys' school, with neither the twain meeting. She would add this incident to her argument at the next staff meeting. For now, though, she would have to deal with what was obviously a misguided love affair. What would possess Miss Granger to involve herself with Draco Malfoy, of all people? McGonagall wouldn't have been surprised to discover Draco had performed the Imperius curse on the girl. Face knitted into a grimace, McGonagall began walking toward the castle.

"Miss Granger, come with me."

"Mr. Malfoy, go find your penis."