Soul Pieces

SOUL PIECES

Chapter 21: Rats and snakes

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Grimmauld Place

Harry and Hermione's bedroom

Hermione stood in front of the full-body mirror, looking depreciatively at her reflection. She never was too concerned about the way she looked- she always was the brainy kind of girl. She had that resignation in her mind that she would never be a beautiful girl- or even pretty. No, she didn't think she was ugly. She was just common.

That never really bothered her. It was like some of those incontestable truths that you just had to accept. Even the faded scar over her left breast, a reminder of Dolohov's curse, didn't made her completely upset (of course she didn't like it- but, oh well, she could live with that.).

However, now, looking at herself she felt ashamed- ugly- like she never had felt before. And that wasn't only because of the new brandy scar she had- from the cesarean. In fact, she didn't know exactly why she was feeling this way. Maybe it was the extra pounds on her hips or the bigger breasts- she didn't know.

She wondered if it was the nightgown she was wearing- maybe it was too thin- too revealing. But no, she knew it wasn't that. In the last days she was feeling not very pretty no matter what she was wearing.

Hermione sighed deeply, closing her eyes painfully as the -now common- headache started. The pain was like a thin blade entering her skull and day by day it seemed to occur more often and stronger.

The young witch had tried to take some potions and even a Muggle painkiller but nothing seemed to help. And along with the headache came the irritation, annoyance, anger. Everything bothered her - and would make her 'lose it'.

No, it wasn't the truth. She knew that not everything irritated her. In fact, she had a hurtful knowledge that one thing irritated her the most: James.

She loved her son with all her soul but sometimes he made her feel so angry, so irrationally frustrated! He was always crying- always needing attention! Even to eat he was having problems! Madam Pomfrey had said that her milk was fine but then why did he seem to dislike it so much? Why everytime she would get him to feed, it was like she had to force him?

I hate-

Hermione's eyes widened and she brought a trembling hand to her mouth, a wave of guilt and shame overcame her.

"Oh god, how could I even think..." she whispered to herself, slightly aware that someone had entered the room.

"Hermione? Something wrong?" Harry asked, smiling sweetly at her.

Hermione turned around and looked at him in surprised, recomposing herself.

"Harry! You scared me!"

"Sorry, love," he apologized, "but you didn't answer me."

She did her best to not look away. "Oh nothing, I was only thinking about some books I had to read," she lied.

Harry didn't believe it but didn't push the matter. Instead, he commented, "James is sleeping in his room?"

Unable to control herself, Hermione groaned. "No, Harry, he is in the dog house! Of course he is in his room!"

The young wizard went near her and took her hands into his. "Are you alright, Hermione?" he asked concerned. She looked pale and her eyes didn't have their usual brightness- they looked shadowed and darker.

"I'm fine," she said firmly, pulling her hands out of Harry's and walking away.

Harry sighed and absently scratched his scar. He could see that something was troubling her but he knew he couldn't force her to say anything or things could go worse and, frankly, he was too tired to argue. He walked to her and embraced her from behind.

"That's okay, luv," he whispered against her hair. "God, you smell so good..."

The sound of his voice made Hermione feel a shiver cross her spine and close her eyes, enjoying the sensation. His body against hers had the power to make her forget about anything else.

He never said sorry, a hateful voice hissed.

Her eyes snapped open.

"You look so sexy in this nightgown..." Harry moaned huskily, his hands traveled over the thin fabric.

He only wants you for the sex

"Harry, please...you know I can't." She restrained herself and turned around, gazing at him. "I am still in convalescence. I can't have sex now."

Harry backed off and ran a hand through his hair in frustration.

"Merlin, Hermione! I know you are in convalescence! Do you think the only thing I want is to fuck you?! I want to hold you, kiss you! It seems that you are always holding back! I can't even watch you feed James!"

"It's-it's...that I don't want you to see my breasts..." she answered with trembling lips.

"Hermione! I already saw your breasts! I already kissed your breasts!" Harry was yelling now.

This is so frustrating! He could feel the anger boiling inside him. Why? Why did she make him so frustrated?

"But that was before! Now is different! I thought...I thought....you would understand..."

He doesn't understand you, the voice hissed again.

"Why is it different now? So, I can't have sex with you anymore? Is that what you are saying?" he shouted at her but somehow those words didn't seem to be his. It was like he simply couldn't control his anger.

"Oh! So that's it?! I am only a sex machine, Harry? Am I only good for sex?!" she cried, hot tears falling from her eyes. "You know what, Harry? Get out!"

Harry looked at her in surprise.

"W-What?"

"You heard me! Tonight I will sleep alone! Get out of this room!"

"Oh, yeah? Great! I think you're right! I have no doubt that I prefer to sleep in an old couch than with a frigid woman like you!"

And with that Harry left the bedroom, leaving a heartbroken Hermione behind.

******

James' bedroom

Harry was sitting in the armchair watching his son sleeping. How had life become so complicated? He thought that things would be okay between him and Hermione but day after day they became more distant. And worse, sometimes she made him feel so angry, so frustrated that he almost wanted to hit her.

Merlin, what the hell was happening?

Why did he sometimes want to hold her, kiss her and then in another moment feel hateful, and vicious, making him feel repulsed by her?

The young wizard was lost in his thoughts when he heard a knock on the door.

"Harry? It's me, Remus. May I come in?"

"Sure, Remus," Harry replied.

Remus Lupin entered the room but didn't say anything.

"I bet you heard the fight," Harry said without taking his eyes off James.

"Yes. I am sorry Harry."

Harry put his hands on his face and shook his head.

"Harry, I know this is difficult for you..."

"No, Remus," Harry said, looking at his former Professor. "You don't possibly know! I can't understand her, Remus! One minute everything is alright and then? Tears! I don't understand! Okay, I know we can't ...you know...sex..." he said in an almost inaudible voice.

Remus nodded.

"Madame Pomfrey talked with me about it." Harry blushed deep red with the memory. "I am not that desperate! What I only want is to hold her! Kiss her! God, Remus you must have seen her when I saw her feeding James! She practically cursed me! Oh, come on!"

"Harry, you must understand her. It's a very difficult phase for her-" Remus tried to explain gently.

"It's difficult for me too! I'm seventeen and I'm a father!"

"Yes, yes, but I am not talking about this, Harry. I am talking about her body. Her perception of her body changed. She changed. She probably thinks that you will scorn her body. That you find that she is ugly-"

"Merlin! Of course I would never think that! To tell you the truth I think she is more beautiful than ever!" Harry said with a dreamily face.

"I think you have to say that to her, Harry. She needs to hear this."

"I already heard, Remus," said Hermione, who was standing at the door, with red eyes.

Harry stood up very quickly and ran to her, talking her in his arms.

"I am so sorry, love. So sorry!" he whispered into her hair.

She looked into his eyes and smiled, "I am sorry too, Harry!" How could she be angry at him if she felt so protected, so loved in his arms?

And they kissed with love and passion, without noticing a smiling Remus Lupin leaving the bedroom.

For now, everything was going be all right.

***

The next day

Hogsmeade, in a dark alley

"Are you sure of this?" the short bald man asked.

"Yess," the person hissed irritated. "She and the child have an appointment with Madam Pomfrey on Wednesday ...9:00pm."

"Right..."

"May I go now? People will start to wonder..."

"Yeah...yeah...go!"

That same day, at night

Riddle's Manor

"My Lord, the Mudblood and Potter's child will go to Hogwarts this Wednesday. 9:00 pm."

"Very good, Wormtail. Very good. Now, we have to keep the Order away from her..."

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Wednesday

At night

Grimmauld Place

"Are you okay, right? Do you have everything? Are you sure it's safe for James to travel by Portkey?" Harry asked for the hundredth time.

"For Merlin's sake, Harry!" Hermione cried in exasperation.

"Sorry," he murmured sheepishly.

"It's okay. Everything will be okay. After all, what could possibly go wrong?" Hermione replied with a smile, touching his cheek. She had had a strange dream the night before. Something about rats and snakes- she couldn't remember very well. Thinking it was nothing to worry about, she didn't comment about it to anyone.

It was only a dream.

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Riddle's Manor

At Riddle Manor, a tall, spindly figure strode through the room commanding attention, "Now, my servants: You will attack the Weasley home tonight. It is critical that the entire Order is kept there. Do not fail me. Go now!"

As he heard the pops of Disapparition, Voldemort turned to his familiar as a serpentine grin pulled at his tight face, "Tonight, my dear Nagini, you will have a wonderful dinner."

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Grimmauld Place

"It's almost time, Harry, Hermione," said Remus, giving Hermione the Portkey.

Harry was about to say something when Tonks rushed in the room. Her face was deadly serious.

"What happened, Nymph?" asked Remus.

"Ottery St. Catchpole is under attack!" she cried.

"What?!" Harry, Hermione and Ron cried at the same time.

"We must go, Remus. There are more than sixty death eaters there! The Dark Mark was cast..."

"I'm going go!" cried Ron, his face pale.

"Ron-"

"No, Remus! The Burrow is there! It's my house! My family!"

"The Burrow has strong wards, Ronald," Remus tried to rationalize.

"Only the house, Remus!" Ron cried at his former Professor. "You know that! You won't make me stay!"

Harry wanted to go too; he knew he had to help the Weasleys. Not to mention the other families who also lived in Catchpole, like Luna's father. He had stayed hidden for too long. He looked at Ron and then at Hermione who nodded.

"Go, Harry. I'll be alright. James and I will be alright. The Weasleys need you."

*****************

Ottery St. Catchpole

The Burrow's land

"What are you lot doing?" a man asked. "This building is abandoned and in ruins...you can't-"

"Shut up, Muggle!" the Death Eater replied with disgust. "Avada Kedavra!"

"You shouldn't have done that!"

"Why not, Bella?"

Bellatrix Lestrange grinned evilly. "I wanted to have a little fun with him before!" She laughed. "Tst,tst, tst, It always amazes me how we can perfect the Cruciatus using Muggles."

*********************************************

Somewhere near the coast...

A hooked figure Apparated in front an old house. Without knocking on the door, the person entered.

In the living room, the person saw a blond woman sitting in an armchair, reading a book.

"Narcissa," the person said.

Narcissa Malfoy jumped in surprise.

"Oh! It's you! What are you doing here?"

"I need to talk to Severus. Where is he?" was the rushed reply.

Before Narcissa could answer, Severus Snape appeared in the room.

"I am here. What do you want?" Snape demanded.

Knowing that they would ask her to leave, Narcissa excused herself and left the room.

"So, what do you want? You know it's not safe-"

"I know, Severus! But this is important!" The voice was impatient.

"Out with it!"

"Ottery St. Catchpole is under attack!"

"So?" Snape inquired with disdain.

"You know what is there!"

"Yeah...the Weasley house," he replied with apparent disgust. "The Burrow, as they call it."

"It's an ambush, Severus! A distraction! The Dark Lord wants the Order- and Potter- away from Hogwarts..."

"I don't understand."

"The Granger girl has an appointment today with the Hogwarts nurse. She and Potter's child. The Dark Lord sent Nagini...you know Pettigrew..."

"Yes, Pettigrew knows every Hogwarts' secret passage!" Snape folded his hands. It was sooner than he had predicted. The Dark Lord was impatient. He looked at the figure in front of him and then shouted, "Now, go!"

The Death Eater nodded and left.

Minutes later, Severus Snape also left the house.

*********************

Ottery St. Catchpole

The Burrow's land

"Damnit, they had to attack just a day after a full moon!" Remus Lupin muttered to himself. He was against a tree, recovering from a fight with a Death Eater and preparing to fight again when he heard a small pop. He turned sharply at his left, his wand ready.

"Snape!" Remus hissed.

"I don't have time for small talk, Lupin! You need to back off!"

"What?!" Remus whispered fiercely. "If you haven't noticed, Severus, we are under attack!"

"It's a distraction, Lupin! The Dark Lord wants the entire Order here!"

"I...I...don't understand." Remus looked doubtful.

"He sent Nagini." Snape's eyes boring into Remus'. "He sent Nagini to Hogwarts."

Before any kind of reaction, Remus' eyes left Snape's face and stared at two young men behind the former Potion's Professor.

"Oh, god! Hermione!" Harry Potter cried.

*************************************

Hogwarts

Hospital Wing

Hermione Granger was holding her son tightly, her whole body trembling.

She watched in horror as a giant snake started to lean...

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