Soul Pieces

SOUL PIECES

Chapter 12: Consequences.

"You're pregnant, aren't you?"

Hermione nodded.

"Oh, Merlin...I hoped I was wrong," Tonks said, hugging the young witch. "Go clean up and let's go to your room. I think we need to talk."

*0*0*0*0*

Hermione's bedroom

"What am I going to do, Tonks?"

"Right now, I really don't know. Merlin! How did this happen? I thought you two were cautious...I guess I was wrong. You're probably five or six weeks along..."

Hermione looked at the young Auror in shook. How did she know that?

"Hermione, I'm a woman and an Auror, might I add. I know what a pregnant woman looks like. I have been noticing your loss of appetite, your face is very pale and of course, this flu. You're lucky that men can be very stupid about these things...I'm sure you performed a spell to know-"

Hermione nodded.

~*~Flashback~*~

Hermione couldn't remember exactly when she started to notice that something was wrong. This kind of thing didn't happen to her...it was only that one day she realized that her life wasn't the same anymore.

Of course that after the first time they were together, Hermione was a little preoccupied; after all neither her nor Harry had performed a Contraception Charm before but she was sure that nothing had gone wrong.

And then came the eggs...yes, the eggs. Hermione, who until then loved eggs, suddenly couldn't stand to smell them. And after the eggs, came the bacon and then the smell of toast and then...she started to throw up every morning. Yes, it was then that she realized that something was wrong. It was then that she remembered that her last period had been a long time ago. It was then that she began to panic.

It's easy to say, 'Come on, do the spell and find out!" Oh, so easy to say...but so hard to do. How many times Hermione raised her wand to cast the spell but then...didn't have the nerve to do it.

But she was a Gryffindor...and one day she finally performed the spell and found out the truth...

She was pregnant. She was expecting Harry's child.

When the blue smoke confirmed the shocking truth, Hermione let herself fall on the floor.

That couldn't be real. Oh, Merlin, that couldn't be real. She couldn't be pregnant. She just...couldn't.

She couldn't tell him...He couldn't know the truth.

The truth...the truth was that she loved him. Oh, yes, she loved him. She loved him so much that she let herself be almost used by him so she could be with him.

And she smiled as she remembered the time they spent together. The time she pretended she didn't love him...the time she pretended it was only sex.

And she realized she was alone. She was pregnant and alone. She knew he didn't love her and would probably hate her when he found out about the child. He would think she did it on purpose and maybe he wouldn't want the child.

No, he wouldn't be that way with her. Despite everything, that child was a part of Harry and she didn't know what to do or what to say to him.

~*~End Flashback~*~

"You need to see a healer. St. Mungo's is out of the question. I think the best solution is Madame Pomfrey. But, Hermione, for this I will need to talk with McGonagall about, well, about your...situation," Tonks said in a clear and serious tone.

Hermione put her face in her hands and began to cry again.

That made Tonks forgot about the cold and serious tone and hugged the girl.

"Shh.... Everything is going to be okay."

"How? Tell me, how everything is going to be okay? I have no one! I don't have a job, I didn't finish school...I'm eighteen years old, Tonks!"

"Hermione, I won't say that it will not be difficult; because it will be. But you are not alone in this. You have me, Remus...And I am sure Harry- "

"Harry? Great! I didn't only destroy my own life but his too. He will never forgive me!"

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about Harry! He doesn't love me! For him it's only sex..."

"And for you, Hermione?"

Hermione looked at Tonks for a moment and then whispered in a sad voice, "I love him. I love him with all my heart. I love him so much that it hurts. That's why I sleep with him. Otherwise, I would never..."

"Hermione..."

"I know! I'm not stupid! I know that sleeping with him made everything worst. But I can't...I can't loose him. That's the only way he would look at me."

"Did you talk to him about your feelings?"

"Merlin, no! If I confess my love for him, he would never stay with me."

"But things are different now, Hermione. You're pregnant."

"Yeah, and he'll hate me for that."

"Harry's a good guy, Hermione. He would never leave you alone. I'm sure..."

"Of course he'll take care of this child. He's the bloody hero! But what about me? The Weasleys, Voldemort, the war...God! Ginny! She'll hate me," she sobbed.

"You two made a mistake. I'm not talking about this unborn child. I'm talking about love, Hermione. You can't play with love. Maybe he even loves you. I don't know. I can't give you false expectations but I know that you couldn't have given him your body."

"But it's good!"

"Good for whom? Of course, you must have had wonderful moments with him but, tell me, when the sex was over, when he didn't say 'I love you'...when you couldn't say 'I love you'.... Was it good? When you spent all day together as if nothing had happened, was that good? Sorry if I'm a little harsh on you but I have to say these things. And whatever happens, know that I will be always by your side."

Tonks' words were like an arrow into her heart; but what hurt even more was that Hermione knew everything was true. She was about to speak when a knock was heard at her door.

"Tonks, Hermione? Is everything alright? May I come in?" they heard Remus ask.

"Yeah, Remus," answered Hermione with a weak voice. With a nod she gave Tonks permission to tell Remus about the pregnancy.

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"Oh, Merlin," Remus managed to say after listening to Tonks. "I'm sure Harry will not leave you. He's a good kid and I know he loves you too, even if he is a damn thickheaded to admit it."

Hermione gave him a shy smile.

☼☼☼☼☼☼

The next Day

Hogwarts: Headmistress' Office.

Tonks was waiting while Madame Pomfrey finished Hermione's examination (they were in McGonagall's private chamber). Professor McGonagall was with them, also waiting.

Bloody hell, what's taking so long? We need to go back. Remus is in charge to distract the boys while we're here...but this wasn't supposed to take so much time! Tonks thought.

The arrival of Madame Pomfrey and Hermione at the doorway interrupted Tonks' thoughts and the young Auror was relieved. It's about time!

"What is it, Poppy?" asked the Headmistress, as if she had read Tonks' mind.

"I'm afraid that I don't have good news, Minerva. Miss Granger is pregnant indeed..."

"Yeah...yeah..." muttered Tonks.

"As you may know, Miss Granger here is a Muggleborn; a very powerful witch indeed, but a Muggleborn," said Madame Pomfrey with a little glint of concern in her eyes.

"Yes, so?" Tonks asked, a bit impatiently.

That time, the Headmistress was the one who spoke.

"You have already realized that nothing in our world happens without a reason, Nymphadora. I'm not talking about divination, I'm talking about nature. Don't you ever wonder why there are so few Muggleborn witches?"

Tonks was about to reply but then she realized that there weren't many Muggleborn witches. She only knew Hermione and one friend from work.

"Yes," continued the Headmistress, "and there is a reason for that. A Muggleborn witch is a witch, of course, but her body is still Muggle. I'm not saying that Muggleborn witches can't have babies. No, it's not that. The problem is when the father of the child is a powerful wizard."

Tonks looked at Hermione; she didn't have said a word.

"Okay, Professor, I understand but what's wrong with Hermione?"

Madame Pomfrey answered, "This will be a very difficult pregnancy. Her body will not accept the magic inside her. As magic, I mean the baby. The baby will suck her energy because, contrary to a normal pregnancy, her body will not feed the baby naturally. Of course, if the child were a squib, nothing of this will occur. But I really doubt that. After my examination, I'm almost completely certain that Miss Granger's child is magical."

"But what can we do about it?"

"Nothing," Hermione spoke for the first time. "There is nothing to do."

Tonks wanted to ask if there was a risk of death, but she couldn't find a way to ask that.

"Yes, Tonks, there's a possibility that I will die," Hermione said as she could hear Tonks' thoughts. "But I am prepared for it. I'm keeping this baby. I know it will be difficult, but I know I have no one and I know that the father doesn't love me but I can't give up this baby," she said, placing her hands on her belly. "This baby will remind me of what it is to love someone."

Tonks had tears in her eyes. Her rational side was telling her that Hermione was insane to go on with a pregnancy with so many risks but she could comprehend Hermione's decision. She, Nymphadora Tonks, would do the same.

Before Tonks and Hermione left Hogwarts, Professor McGonagall gave them an emergency portkey that was to be used in case something happened and for Hermione's consults with Madame Pomfrey. The school nurse told them that Hermione would become weaker as her pregnancy progressed. Stress, strong feelings, hard work, training and apparation were forbidden.

☼☼☼☼☼☼

A few days later...

The atmosphere at Grimmauld Place was suffocating. The house was sad, and everything had a depressing feeling to it. Of course no one talked about it, but everyone felt it. Even Ron seemed a little depressed.

Remus couldn't believe when Tonks told him about Hermione's problem.

Hermione continued sleeping with Harry, even with all of Tonks' pleads to stop but she wanted to stay with him. She needed him.... and she had a feeling, a hope that maybe, just maybe, he needed her too.

However, she knew she needed to tell Harry about the baby. She couldn't wait much longer to do it.

It was late and Hermione was in the library at Grimmauld, pretending to read a book. The house was silent around her.

The truth was that she didn't want to go to her bedroom. She knew that Harry would come and she knew what would happen once she saw him. That didn't mean that she didn't want to be with him, no, quite opposite. Hermione wanted be with him more than ever but she was afraid of the future.

She thought about the conversation she had had with Madame Pomfrey. Not the conversation with Tonks and Professor McGonagall, but the private conversation in the chambers.

"I am sorry, Miss Granger," the nurse said. "I'm really sorry."

With a shaky voice, Hermione asked, "But are you sure, maybe there's something..."

"No," Madame Pomfrey said firmly, but with a trace of angst in her voice. "The Muggle disease, as we call it, is very rare and doesn't have a cure. I'm really sorry."

"So, I will probably die. That's it. This child will probably suck all my energy and then after I give birth I'll just die," Hermione whispered, fighting the tears that began to fall.

"You and Mister Potter are very powerful people and there is a strong chance that you will come out of this just fine. If you choose not to have this child..."

"I can't do that. This child is Harry's. This child is Harry inside me."

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When Harry came to Hermione's bedroom, he noticed, with surprise that she wasn't there.

What the ...? Where is she?

Then a smile crossed his face because he knew exactly where she was.

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Harry slowly opened the door to the library. Hermione was there, sitting in an armchair with a book on her lap. Her eyes were closed and her cheeks were wet with tears.

That made Harry's heart sink.

He quickly moved closer to her and kneeled in front of the chair she was sitting in. She opened her eyes with a start.

"What? Oh, Harry. Never do that again!" she said, trying to wipe away her tears.

He grabbed her hand to stop her.

"What happened, Mione? Why are you crying?"

"Crying? I'm not crying! It's something in my eye."

"Hermione..."

"It's something in my eye, Harry. Now, what are you doing here?"

Harry knew she wasn't telling him the truth, but didn't want to push the subject.

"I went to your room and you weren't there so-"

"-You came here."

"Yep," Harry said with a smile that made Hermione's heart melt. How was she supposed to fight against that?

"Harry..."

"What?" he asked innocently, caressing her hands.

"Don't give me this innocent look! I know you too well, Harry Potter."

"Hum...good. So, I don't need to say what I want..." he answered but that time his hands were playing with the hem of her shirt.

She leaned towards him, grabbed his messy hair with her hands and kissed him.

"Why are you wearing pants?" he asked a little annoyed.

"Harry, it's almost winter!"

"I don't like pants," he said, trying to unbutton her pants. "Too much work."

"Lazy boy..."

With a little help from Hermione, he managed to take off her pants.

"Oh, that's so much better," he whispered.

"I know," she replied with a smile.

He began to kiss between her legs, making her moan with pleasure.

"Harry...we should go to my room...oh!"

"Yes," he answered without moving.

"Harry-"

"Ok," he said, standing up.

When he was helping Hermione to stand up, Harry noticed that her eyes were a little strange.

"Mione? Are you...?"

But he never received the answer, because Hermione just fainted.

"Oh, my God! Hermione!" he cried in despair. "Wake up, please!"

But for all that Harry tried, Hermione didn't wake-up and he began to panic.

Without thinking twice, he took her in his arms and ran.

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Remus Lupin and Nymphadora Tonks were sleeping peacefully when they were suddenly woken up by a loud noise.

"What?" the couple asked at same time, taking their wands.

"Remus!" they heard.

"It's Harry!" Remus said, standing up.

The former DADA professor opened the door and frowned with the scene in front of him: there was a crying Harry with a fainted Hermione in his arms.

"Oh, God! What happened?" he asked, letting Harry enter the room.

"S..s..she...f...f...fain...fainted. I...I...I...couldn't wake her up..." Harry said between sobs.

"Lay her down on the bed, Harry," said Tonks with concern in her voice. The young Auror noticed that the young witch wasn't wearing pants. She looked at Remus.

Harry saw this and became very red. The couple looked at him.

"Herpaintsareinthelibrary" he said in a hurry.

"I see," Tonks said. "Remus, I will be right back." And Tonks Disapparated.

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Few minutes later, she was back with a green bottle in her hands.

"Remus, could you help me?"

Remus nodded and helped his girlfriend. Harry was completely lost.

Within seconds, after Tonks gave Hermione the potion, Hermione began to stir.

"Oh, thank God!" Harry cried. "Are you alright, Mione?"

"W...what happened? What am I doing here?" she asked, very confused.

"You fainted, Hermione," Tonks answered with a meaningful look. "Harry brought you here."

"Oh."

Without a word, Remus walked towards her and took her in his arms.

"Let me take you to your room."

Harry knew that wasn't the time to feel...to feel his blood boil. But he couldn't avoid it. He was about to say something, but Tonks grabbed his shoulder and shook her head.

+ + + + +

While they waited for Remus to return, in what Harry thought was taking too bloody long, the young wizard asked Tonks, "Why did she faint, Tonks?"

"It's the flu, Harry." Tonks hated to lie.

"But I never saw a flu-"

"She has the wizard flu."

"But in our second year, I remember that a bunch of students had this and no one..."

"The problem, Harry, is that Hermione has a Muggle body. Her body isn't used to magical diseases. That's why the flu is hitting her so strongly."

"Oh."

"Don't worry, she'll be fine." Well, I hope she will.

Harry didn't say anything. The two of them waited for Remus in silence when he finally returned.

"What took so long?" Harry demanded.

Remus looked at his best friends' son in surprise.

"Harry, what are you talking about?"

Harry gave a sarcastic laugh. "Well, Professor, don't you think that you took too much time in Hermione's bedroom? After all, you just had to..."

"Harry! I can't believe you! You're jealous!"

"No, Professor. I'm just concerned about my best friend."

"What do you think I was doing there, Harry?"

Harry shrugged. "I don't know, but we all know that you like young girls..."

Remus couldn't believe what he was hearing! He felt a wave of anger emerge from deep inside him. He walked towards Harry and was about to grab his collar when Tonks stopped him.

"Remus, no! He didn't mean that."

"You're right. I'm too old to pay attention to some boy's love problems!"

"I don't have any love problems!" Harry cried indignantly

"For Merlin's sake, Harry! Why do you keep denying it?"

"I don't know what you're talking about..."

"You love her, Harry! YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH HERMIONE GRANGER!"

"No..." he whispered.

Remus shook his head. "Harry, it's okay. You're not weak or anything because of this..."

Harry looked at Tonks. "Tonks, please, tell Remus he's wrong."

"He's right, Harry."

"You know what? You're both crazy!"

And with that, the young wizard left the room.

* * * * * * *

Later that night, in his bed, Harry Potter didn't sleep very well. He dreamed that Bellatrix Lestrange had killed Hermione and he became very afraid.