Obliviate

The first thing Tonks got that morning, along with the rest of the school, was her schedule and--surprise, surprise--she had all the same classes as Harry!

"Hey that's pretty cool, did you pick your classes?" Harry asked, looking over her shoulder to see her schedule.

"Ja, they sent me a list to pick from, and I liked these," Tonks said with a shrug. "Looks like we've got Defense Against der Dark Arts third period, I cannot wait until später."

"You like Professor Lupin Dora?" Hermione asked. A small redheaded girl slid into the seat beside the older girl.

"He is a sehr gut man, of course I like him," Tonks said a bit uncomfortably. She really hoped they didn't think she meant in the girly crush way instead of the student-teacher way. That was mostly because she'd had the lesser feelings for the man since she was seven, even now. The bell for first period rang, and Tonks went with a heavy heart to Potions, where she would probably be verbally abused for her fake German accent.

Snape had always hated her, but this was ridiculous. He sneered at her from where she sat, causing Ron (whom she was sitting beside) to ask what she had done to the Professor to make him so mad at her. Tonks didn't even answer him, just squinted up at the board to try and decipher Snape's tiny pinched writing.

She still remembered when she was actually in Hogwarts. Snape made it a point to make sure she had no friends. No one wanted to be friends with the cousin of notorious mass-murderer Sirius Black. He would pointedly ask how her parents were, and then 'remember' that her parents had been murdered by her cousin. Needless to say, Tonks had left more than one Potions class in rages of tears.

Third period couldn't come soon enough for Tonks. Harry, Ron, and Tonks all arrived and sat in the front. Hermione came in a moment before the bell rang and Remus entered. Hermione sighed in disappointment when Remus said they would be going to the staff room; she had just come from that area. Tonks quietly wondered what he could be doing with them there until she saw the rattling wardrobe and paled. A standard Boggart.

"Can anyone tell me what is in this wardrobe? Hermione?" Remus asked when Hermione's hand shot up before he'd even finished speaking.

"It's a Boggart, sir. A Boggart takes the shape of whatever it is you most fear." Hermione was a walking textbook!

"Yes it is, ten points to Gryffindor. There is one thing that you need to know to fight a Boggart. Have you spotted it, Harry?"

"Er...if you have more than one person...the Boggart won't know what to turn into?" Harry guessed blindly. Tonks grinned at him and nodded.

"Exactly, take another ten to Gryffindor. Now, the key to destroying a Boggart is a simple Incantation: Ridikulus! Say it with me now, no wands yet. 1, 2, 3, Ridikulus! Yes, excellent, Neville? Would you care to join me up here in the front?" Remus was doing a fine job so far. Tonks nearly died of laughter upon seeing Snape in drag. It was wonderful.

"Alright, everyone take a moment to think of your greatest fear," Remus said slowly, eyeing Tonks. Most people closed their eyes, thinking hard, and Tonks took this moment to shrink back in the line that had formed. Remus had a guess at what her Boggart would be, but he would be wrong. Tonks bumped into someone and turned around; it was a very puzzled looking Harry.

"You OK Harry?" she asked quietly.

"Yeah, yeah...just trying to think of how to make a Dementor funny..." Harry said thoughtfully.

"Well, here, why don't you and I go to the back of the line? This way we'll both have time to think," Tonks said hurriedly, tugging Harry by the sleeve to the back. He got into line behind her.

Tonks knew that her Boggart would be Sirius Black, but it wouldn't be the deranged criminal everyone else saw him as. She didn't know how he would look, but it would have been before he was arrested. She knew Remus would recognize him immediately. Oh Merlin, how would Remus react? How would she react? Well, she couldn't back out now. Perhaps if she imagined Sirius in drag like Snape? No, that only brought up more memories of when she was little. But, it was funny; it made her smile a little bit at least. Maybe by the time her turn was done the Boggart would be destroyed, and Harry wouldn't have to deal with it. That's it, she had to do it. She had to be strong for Harry...but what makes a convicted murderer funny!?

As the line moved along, and Ron faced his spider, and Parvati her mummy, Tonks still hadn't thought of anything to make Sirius Black a funny sight. She searched her memories for anything that would still be funny about him today, but none helped so she moved farther back in her memories. There was some sort of wall around her eighth year of life, probably because she avoided that year at all costs. By the time she made it to the front, she was frozen in time, a little girl of six years old at Lily and James's wedding. The Boggart turned its gaze onto her, vanished into a cloud of smoke, and finally became the form of a young, happy, Sirius Black.

Everyone in the classroom gasped and took several steps back except for Tonks and Remus. Sirius looked exactly the same as when he did at the Evans-Potter wedding. His suit coat was hanging open, the shirt was untucked, his tie loosened, and his hair wild. He removed one of his hands from his pockets and held it out to her. Tonks felt her head tilt to one side the same way it had fourteen years ago.

"Just once Dorrie?" Sirius asked, his smile and eyes tearing Tonks apart inside. Tonks's wand fell from her limp hand. People around her were whispering, wondering how the German girl knew Sirius Black before he was arrested. Tonks backed away several steps and ran right into Harry again. She caught a glimpse of him out of the corner of her eye; he didn't recognize him, good. It was true that Harry didn't know Sirius Black was his godfather, but Tonks was almost sure Harry would recognize him from his parents' wedding photo she knew he had. As if reading her mind, Harry's eyes widened in realization. Tonks fought the urge to groan, and instead felt a shiver run up her spine as Sirius took another step closer to her.

"Don't you realize you were wrong?" he asked quietly. Tonks shuddered against Harry. "Don't you see what has been right in front of you all this time?" Remus quickly stepped forward as Tonks fled to the back of the room, tears evident. The Boggart shifted into a floating white orb that glowed so brightly it hurt the eyes of those nearby.

"Ridikulus," Remus said tensely, and the orb vanished. "Excellent job everyone, I think that's enough fun for one day. Class dismissed." Tonks began to run across the room to the door, wiping her face.

"Dora are you okay?" Hermione asked before Tonks made it to the door. Tonks quickly nodded, though when she blinked tears fell from her eyes.

"Miss Drom, may I have a word please?" Remus asked from behind Tonks. She jumped and spun around, forgetting he was there.

"Uh...Ja, du can sir," she said shakily. She waved goodbye to the others and they left her behind. Remus closed the door, and Tonks saw his suddenly red eyes.

"Remus I am so sorry about that, I shouldn't have gotten in line at all, it was stupid of me, I nearly blew my cover and...I'm sorry," Tonks said thickly, frantically trying to dry her eyes.

"Your worst fear is Sirius at Lily and James's wedding?" Remus asked without acknowledging her apologies. Tonks shook her head with a sniff, and Remus finally seemed to wake up a bit. He pulled her into a tight embrace.

"M-my worst fear...is that the Aurors missed something...that Sirius was actually innocent...and that I somehow could have stopped it...I mean, I was there! I saw it happen! I was the only survivor, and they questioned me for so long..." Tonks found herself morphing into her twenty year old self so she could fit in Remus's arms better.

"You did not make a mistake," Remus said firmly. "You saw what you saw, and the Ministry was wrong to interrogate you like that...not even out of the hospital yet!" Remus's last statement was angered, and he pulled her more tightly to his chest. "Are you going to be okay?" he finally asked, separating them. Tonks shrank back down into Dora Drom.

"Yeah, I'll be okay.... Thank you Remus, for the hug," Tonks said quietly. She looked up at him and saw something different in his eyes. Something had changed since the night before, and a line was soon to be crossed if they kept meeting privately. Tonks found herself morphing back to her twenty year old self and staring directly into Remus's eyes, though she had to look up slightly.

She pushed herself up onto her toes and planted a kiss onto Remus's cheek, near his ear. "You kept me sane too, you know," she whispered. Before she could back up she felt Remus's hands wrap around her waist, holding her in place. "Remus..." she whispered, slightly breathless.

"I've never seen you look so...grown up," Remus said quietly, and Tonks remembered that he had only seen her as a thirteen year old thus far.

"I am grown up," Tonks still whispered.

"You're beautiful."

"Thank you."

Remus and Tonks stared into one another's eyes for what felt like an eternity. Their breathing was shallow and fast, their hearts racing. What was about to happen would create a paradigm shift. Neither of them would be the same. Remus bent down slightly, Tonks moving up again, and their lips met. It was brief, almost chaste, but Tonks's heart was thudding sporadically in her chest. The blush on Remus's face showed that he was having heart troubles as well.

"I should probably...catch up with Harry..." Tonks finally said, leaning heavily against the door because her knees had gone slightly wobbly.

"Yes, you probably...should..." Remus said. "I should...get to class too...students are probably waiting..."

"Right! Oh man, we've got Divination next in the North Tower! I should really go," Tonks suddenly returned to herself, but nearly rushed out of the room before morphing back into a thirteen year old. She and Remus shared a small secretive smile before they finally lost sight of one another.

Tonks made it to Divination floating on a cloud. Hermione looked at her suspiciously, making her ask what the trouble was. Her eyes were apparently violet.

"Really? It must be the lights," Tonks said dismissively whilst discreetly shifting her angle to a window and morphing her eyes back to normal at the same time. Hermione shrugged and passed it off as nothing. Tonks forgot just how annoying and boring Divination was until she got up there.

"I do not like this class already," Tonks said, looking slightly apprehensive. She did not want to see--

"Welcome, my children, to the noble class of Divination!"

Tonks was surprised she didn't already have a headache. She remained quietly judging Trelawney, until the buggy woman turned to her.

"You, my dear...you're aura is different from the way you appear..." she said slowly.

"Vell, it is a common fact in Deutschland that foreign auras are not the same as English ones," Tonks said, barely stifling a laugh. Harry, Ron, and Hermione sniggered quietly toward the puzzled look on Trelawney's face.

"You made that up, didn't you?" Ron asked as Trelawney suddenly became fascinated by Parvati Patil's aura.

"Ja, every Wort," she choked out quietly. With a scraping of poufs everyone stood to get a teacup. Tonks followed obediently and got one of the pretty pink cups. Of course, with her skills of stealth, she stumbled on a stool and the cup went flying. "Sorry!" she moaned.

"Take a blue one please," the Professor said simply, quickly sweeping up the broken china. Tonks nodded quietly and took a blue cup of tea instead, returning to the small table with the others. They all drank their scalding tea, burning their tongues lightly but excited to be reading one another's futures.

"Rotate clockwise?" Hermione suggested, handing her cup to Ron. Ron nodded and handed his to Tonks, Tonks's to Harry and Harry's to Hermione. Tonks flipped her book open and began gazing into Ron's tea leaves.

"It looks like du hast..." Tonks rifled with the pages, "...a sun. Dass means happiness lies ahead für du." Ron looked delighted. "Wer ist next?"

"I will!" Ron volunteered. Hermione eyed him warily, her gaze switching from Ron to her cup anxiously. "You've got a little ladder in there...unexpected gold!? Can we trade?"

"No!" Hermione said sternly. "Now, it's your turn to read Harry."

"Okay," Harry said, looking deep into Tonks's cup. Curiosity getting the better of her, Tonks peered over Harry's shoulder to see. "No peeking!" Tonks made her eyes three times wider than usual, jokingly exaggerating her accent.

"I am sorry, I do not speak English gibt mier meine cup!" Tonks snatched the cup away from a laughing Harry. For the second time that day she wanted to run from the room, or at least hide under a conveniently placed rock for a while.

"What is it?" Hermione asked, seeing that Tonks had gone quiet.

"Der Wolf...ein großes Geheimnis."

"Uh...I heard wolf in there," Harry said with a shrug. Tonks shook her head as if clearing it.

"Ich habe the Wolf...a great secret," she said slowly, tilting her head thoughtfully. Hermione looked at her with an even more curious look on her face. "Well, anyway...sorry I ruined your fun Harry, I was curious."

"No problem, I would have trouble distinguishing the Wolf and Dog anyway," Harry dismissed easily.

"Well I've got something in Harry's cup that could be both, may I see yours Dora?" Hermione asked politely. Tonks nodded and passed her cup around the table to her. "No, there is a distinction...looks like you've got yourself a dog, Harry." Ron surprisingly gulped.

"What?" Tonks asked, tilting her head. Trelawney answered for her, swooping down upon them and snatching Harry's cup from Hermione's hands. She let out a shriek of horror, and Tonks grimaced.

"My boy...my dear, dear boy...you have...the Grim!" People all around the room gasped and crowded around Harry's cup to get a closer look. Everyone seemed quite reluctant to touch it, however, so Tonks boldly snatched it from Trelawney's sparkly clutches. She squinted critically at the blobs of tea leaves, and thought she might see something similar to a dog there, but it looked more like a sheep instead. Or it could be a bear.

The thought of a bear-dog seemed to strike an odd sort of chord in Tonks's brain. She had never owned a dog, never seen a bear in real life, but this was different to her. It was as if a switch had been turned on in her memory. It hurt dully to think about in excess, so she started thinking about other things.

"It doesn't really look like a Grim, as much as a bear," she offered hopefully. Harry looked around as if asking what the big deal was.

"The Grim, the omen of death! Oh my poor child!" Trelawney continued to blubber about for the next twenty minutes. Harry was sufficiently flushed through the rest of the afternoon, as people from the class kept shooting him worried looks. It wasn't as if he were about to drop dead at any moment!

The rest of the week passed by slowly and monotonously, Tonks wondering idly why she'd ever gone to school in the first place. It was so boring to go through classes a second time! She kept herself busy by balancing as many quills as she could on her nose when the teachers weren't looking. Harry would pass them to her discreetly under the desk, and once the teacher's back was turned she started balancing them. So far she'd made it to ten at a time before a teacher looked. Professor Flitwick turned a blind eye as long as her work was finished.

The third week of term brought about news of a Hogsmeade visit. Harry was probably looking forward to it more than Hermione, who Tonks soon discovered was fascinated by everything to do with the Wizarding World. Tonks had seen the village before, and she was dreading the day anyway, and she was vaguely surprised Harry wasn't a bit down in spirits at the prospect of that day as well. It was the anniversary of their parents' deaths, after all.

Not only did the third week bring good news, but also an almost expected "absence" from Remus. Tonks noticed it (and knew what it was, judging by the moon shining in her window), the others noticed it, and Snape certainly noticed it. He was taking over the Defense classes for Remus, something Tonks did not enjoy. He was docking off points from Tonks because she had said one word wrong when answering a question he shot at her.

"Really Miss Drom, you've been in England for nearly two months now, you should be able to string together one proper sentence," he drawled, a satisfied sneer curling on his face. Tonks wanted to vomit. Harry and Ron looked outraged; Hermione was furiously scribbling notes from the textbook, too focused to notice anything was wrong. Tonks quickly reached over and put a hand on Harry's arm to keep his temper in check. Physical contact seems to be the trick with that boy.

Later that night, after she finished her work and gave it to Harry and Ron to look at (Hermione was in the library), Tonks heads to Remus's office to see if he was there. Knocking gently, she peered in the door that was slightly ajar. There was the sound of rustling blankets and a small sleepy groan.

"Remus?" she whispered. The sounds of movement immediately stopped, as if Remus was trying to identify the speaker. "Remus, it's me, Tonks. I came to check on you."

"Tonks?" Remus's raspy voice parroted.

"Yeah, can I come in?" Tonks whispered. Remus hesitated briefly before answering in the affirmative. Tonks opened the door to see the Professor quickly sitting up in bed, looking as if he were trying not to look wan and pale and weak. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired," Remus answered simply, shrugging his shoulders. Tonks raised an eyebrow at him.

"Tired? Really? You spent the night with your bones disconnected and reconnected in a different fashion, and all you've got is tired?" Tonks asked, making sure the door was closed before morphing into her twenty year old self, along with purple hair. She had had the sense to change into muggle clothes before setting out, knowing that she didn't want to look like she wanted 'something special' from Remus when she got there and morphed. She sat herself on the edge of the bed, pushing the professor back down in bed. "Lie down, you need to rest."

"I'm fine!" Remus insisted, moving her hands away from his shoulders. Tonks raised a skeptical eyebrow at him.

"You are a bad liar. Now lie down and hush! I'll make you some tea." Remus settled back onto the bed with a sheepish smile on his face, allowing Tonks to stand and search for the kettle, her purple hair askew. He watched silently for several moments, looking amused at her attempts to find aforementioned cookery.

"Fine, so I don't know where it is!" Tonks finally huffed, straightening up from where she'd been looking in a low cupboard. Remus allowed himself a few chuckles of mirth.

"If you would hand me my wand, I could show you where the kettle is," he offered. Tonks let out a small sigh of annoyance and handed her friend the wand that was on the bedside table. He took it and nearly looked relieved to see that a cupboard door flew open on his command.

"Here we go, finally," Tonks said in a relieved voice, setting a tray of teacups and kettle on the bedside table. Remus sat up again, and this time Tonks's vision was drawn to Remus's bare torso and, most likely, bare waist and legs as well. She swallowed, hard, and forced herself to look into Remus's eyes. "So how are you really?"

"You obviously know me too well," Remus said with a small smile. Tonks raised an eyebrow at him in a 'don't you toy with me' fashion. "I'm alright; it's not so bad as it used to be now that there's Wolfsbane."

"But...?"

"But...I'm still slightly sore. Is that a crime?" Remus asked innocently. Tonks smiled and shook her head, fondness gleaming in her eyes as she poured them each a mug of tea.

"Not at all, just a pity," she said as Remus took a sip of the warm liquid. He couldn't fight the smile on his lips at the sweet taste. It reflected its maker greatly, he noticed as she sent him almost a shy smile. They sat in silence for a few minutes, Tonks gazing out the window with a pensive look on her face.

"I heard about the upcoming Hogsmeade trip...what day it's on..." Remus broke the silence. Tonks snapped so attention so suddenly her mug went flying.

"Reparo," she muttered quickly, her face flushing. "Yes, I suppose I'll have to greatly distract myself if I'll be going with Harry.... It's hard to believe how soon Halloween's coming..." She remained crouched on the floor even though the mug had long since been retrieved. Her violet eyes turned up to Remus, desperation evident. "Has it really been twelve years, Remus?"

"I'm afraid so," Remus said quietly as Tonks folded her arms on the edge of the bed and laid her head down on them. He absently reached up a hand and began stroking her hair in a comforting gesture. "It must be hard for you, even after so long..." he whispered. He heard Tonks sniff, her face now hidden. She nodded, her shoulders trembling slightly.

"It's got to be...be h-hard for you too, right?" she asked to divert the attention from her crying. Her hand slipped from beneath her chin and closed around Remus's.

"Of course it is," Remus said shortly. "I lost my best friends at the hand of another supposed friend. How could it not be difficult?"

"I understand," Tonks said quietly, removing her face from her arms with a surprisingly dry face. "I don't much fancy acting cheerful in Hogsmeade. Perhaps you and I could go and be mopey together, and I could still keep an eye on Harry without being discovered?" She had adopted her voice into an adorable pleading one she frequently used on her grandparents when she wanted something.

"Well...I suppose I could. I want to distract myself too, so it wouldn't hurt," Remus said. "But it's full moon the night after, so I'll be a bit withdrawn anyway."

"I don't mind at all," Tonks quickly said, smiling and forgetting that she was holding Remus's hand. "We'll make it fun, I promise!" She leaned forward to hug Remus excitedly, but stopped at the smell. "Remus, no offence, but how long has it been since you bathed?" Remus turned red around the edges.

"Not that long, really. It's just the fact that I'm always a bit clammy leading up to and following moonrise. That, and the fact that I transformed into a smelly animal for eight hours lead me to need a bath. I apologize."

"No need, I was being rude anyway," Tonks quickly amended. "Where's the bathroom?" Remus pointed to a door in the corner of the room in response. For a moment Tonks considered drawing Remus a bath, but then thought against it. That was far too personal, something a lover would do, and Tonks was definitely not Remus's lover.

Was she?

And if not, did that mean she couldn't be?