Two Starcrossed Lovers

"Lily," he said and grabbed my arm. I stopped walking and looked at him.

"Yes, Severus?" I asked, quite surprised to hear his voice. He rarely spoke.

"Will you go out with me?" he asked, staring right into my eyes. He tried to look as calm about it as he could but I could see the nervousness and embarrassment hiding in his eyes. I wasn't surprised by his question, but the fact he had asked it. The suddenness gave me a little shock. Lily, I told myself. You've been expecting this. You know he likes you. From his eyes, he was obviously cringing with every second that went by, wishing himself far away.

To calm him, I smiled gently. "Certainly," I said, surprising even myself with the evenness of my voice.

He tried to hold back his beam but couldn't. His hooked nose and oily hair aren't that obvious when he smiles, I thought.

"Thank you," he whispered. "Do you know how happy you've made me?"

I laughed warmly. "So where are we going and when?" I asked.

"Uh..." he paused.

"You know," I interrupted, "it doesn't really matter for me. Anywhere would be fine, just as long as we can carry on an intelligent conversation. Not like going to a movie or something."

"A movie?"

"Oh.... It's a Muggle thing."

He nodded as though he knew what I was talking about, though I knew he had no clue. "So any place is okay with you?"

I nodded.

"All right. I apologize for not being prepared. I was afraid that -"

Afraid I'd say no, I thought.

He stopped and cleared his thought. "Ah, well - I wasn't prepared to give a time and place. May I get back to you on this?"

I laughed again.

He stared. "What is it?"

"You sound so business-like. 'May I get back to you?' Are you arranging a date or a business meeting?" I patted his shoulder to show him I was joking.

He smiled. "Sorry about that. I'm not exactly an expert on these things, you know..."

"It's fine. Just find me once you have it all planned so you can tell me."

I gave him a smile and turned away. I dashed up to my dormitory and collapsed on my bed. You are going to go out with Severus Snape, I said to myself. Have you no self-respect?

Shut up, the other voice in my head replied. He's more intelligent than half the idiots in this school. Does it matter if they tease him so? Are you a decent human or not?

I sighed into my pillow. Personally, I wouldn't mind going out with him. It was so nice to see how happy he became. And he was the first guy I'd met with any sense in his head.

That was not the problem. The problem was the rest of the school. What would they think? And my friends?

It doesn't matter, I told myself. It doesn't matter at all.

I tried not to remember the times my friends and I had gossiped and laughed at him.

I wondered how long he had been keeping his feelings for me inside. Ever since last year, I'd suspected he liked me. It had happened in the common room. I was sitting in the sofa, reading. Lucius Malfoy swaggered up, flanked by his two bodyguards Crabbe and Goyle. All a bunch of idiots, they were. I kept my eyes on my book.

"Get out of that chair, Mudblood," Malfoy spat at me.

I looked up. "I'm sorry, I got here first. Get your own chair." I glared. I was about to say more, but then Severus appeared - out of nowhere it seemed. Both Malfoy and I looked at him, surprised.

He turned to Malfoy, his voice shaking with anger. "Don't you ever call her that again." His eyes blazed, burning into Malfoy like hot coals. I was taken aback. Evidently, so was Malfoy. For a second he didn't speak. At that point I realized the entire common room was silent. Everyone was staring. Then Malfoy said in a simpering voice,

"Oh, so you're defending your girlfriend, are you?" He and all his friends cackled like hyenas. The red patches of anger on Severus's face dissolved into pink as his entire face heated up with embarrassment.

I stood up and slammed my book shut with a bang. The laughter stopped. "Malfoy," I said, spitting out the name.

He stared at me with cold, hard eyes. "What is it, Mudblood?"

"You and I obviously have different ways of defining what makes blood muddy. You may think it is Muggle heritage, but I say it's the utter rudeness and stupidity you display." I struggled to keep my voice calm. With a click, I turned on my heel and left. With careful, soft footsteps I walked up the stairs to the dormitory though there was nothing I wanted more than to run back down and slap that stupid git hard across the face. Oh, how relieving it would be to hear the hard slap and see his expression. But no, I can't. I clenched my fists and forced myself to walk on.

It was surprising that Severus had spoken up for me. I pondered over it for days. In class, he rarely raised his hand. But when he did, the teachers always called on him. What he had to say was always well thought-out. He would say it at the right moment, when the class already had their opinions in a discussion set and thought they'd figured everything out. Then he'd raise his hand, and a good point that "we'd never thought of that." Even the people who had perfectly confident and certain they were right now reconsider their position. If only Hogwarts had a Debate Club, I thought, Severus could be the president.

I had always respected him for this. I cringed at all the times I'd raise my hand to say something and then get muddled in explaining what I was saying, once called on. Or the times I knew exactly what I wanted to say but no one understood me. Severus always spoke clearly and precisely, every word planned out. His voice was always steady. He would make his point, then fold his arms across his desk composedly and listen to how the discussion went.

I knew it wasn't shyness that held him back from talking more. So what was it?

People had always disliked him. Perhaps it was his composed and unruffled nature. He always knew when he was right and didn't debate it. Everyone hated this, especially since he was right so often.

After the incident with Malfoy, I saw Severus in a different light. I think knowing that he liked me made me like him more. And I had always respected his cool-headed intelligence. In fact, I was quite disgusted with the rest of the male population at Hogwarts for their idiocy. I thought they would outgrow it by seventeen, but apparently not. Crude humor and cruel jokes still made them laugh as hard as it had when they were eleven. I only hoped they would grow up before they reached thirty.

* * *

Whenever I passed Severus in the hall or our eyes met in class, he gave me a little smile. Like we had a secret.

After the incident in my sixth year with Malfoy bullying me out my armchair, I'd lost any desire to read or study in the common room. Now I usually went up to my dormitory to lie on my bed to read and study. Perhaps lying on my stomach was a strange way to write an essay, but it was relaxing and, best of all, quiet. I could actually think. Now, given the choice - Malfoy had graduated last year - I still chose my bed as the bed place to study.

No one else ever came up until about ten o'clock so it was all mine - peaceful and quiet. Certainly I felt a little lonely at times. My friends and I began drifting apart in our fifth year, more than ever this year. I sighed. We still went to Hogsmeade together on weekends and talked, but it was different. But I knew that even though we weren't as close as we had been, they would still find out about Severus. I groaned, imagining the things they would say, how they would tease. I wondered again why I had said yes so easily.

I was on my way to the dormitory when he stopped me. He pulled me into a corner of the room, where no one was looking. "I have the details," he said.

"Oh, good," I replied. Lost in my thoughts, it took me a second to realize why he was talking to me and what it was about.

"Would you meet me here in the common room at 7:30 Saturday evening?"

I nodded.

"I'm taking you to a restaurant in Hogsmeade. Is this all right?"

"It sounds wonderful," I said. "But... isn't it a bit late?"

I had never seen such an expression on Severus's face. He smiled wickedly and his eyes twinkled. He winked.

"Doesn't everyone have to come back by then?"

"Oh, I know how to get there - another way."

I must have looked apprehensive because he patted my shoulder gently and said, "Oh don't worry. It'll be fine. Just meet me at 7:30, all right?" With that, he disappeared into the crowd of Slytherins.

Very odd, I thought. That was definitely out-of-character for him. I guess I have yet to meet the real Severus. Right then I just realized how little I knew about him. The only things I knew were he was quiet, intelligent, a genius at Potions and Defense against the Dark Arts, and a pureblood. After seven years of being in his house and year, I know almost nothing of his true personality, I thought to myself in surprise.