Legacy

Chapter Seven

We all begin with good intent, love was raw and young
We believed that we could change ourselves, the past could be undone
But we carry on our backs the burden, time always reveals
The lonely light of morning, in the wound that would not heal
It's the bitter taste of losing everything that I have held so dear.

I've fallen... I have sunk so low
I have messed up, better I should know
So don't come round here and tell me I told you so...

Fallen, Sarah McLachlan

****************************

"Is it true?"

They had walked through the hallways in silence, into the DADA classroom, and back into the room Harry used as an office.

Harry sat down in one of the stuffed chairs in the corner, giving Aurelia and Renato the small sofa.

"Is it true?" Ren demanded once more. His eyes were boring holes through Harry. He was stunned into silence once more.

"Renato..." Aurelia began.

"Is it true?" he repeated a third time, turning to face her. "Is he," he said, pointing at Harry, "is he my father?"

She looked up at him.

"Yes," she said quietly.

Ren put his head in his hands, ran his fingers through his hair. He felt all the air rush out of his lungs. He looked up at Harry.

"Where have you been, then?" he asked, curtly.

"What?"

"Why did you leave us? Where have you been?" shouted Ren, looking up at Harry, who flinched at these words.

"Ren!" Aurelia snapped.

"I didn't, I didn't know..." Harry blurted out before thinking.

"What?" Ren turned to his mother. "You didn't tell him?"

Aurelia was not saying anything.

"So," Ren said coldly, now on his feet, "you lied to me, when you told me that my father was dead," his voice was much louder now, "AND you lied to him about..."

"Renato," Harry interrupted.

"No," he turned, looking up at Harry, green eyes blazing with fury. "No, this is between my mother and me."

"No, Ren, I'm a part of it now," Harry said, quietly.

"You are not a part of it," Ren said bitterly. "I don't care what she says. You are not my father. I don't have one, right, Mum?"

She still did not speak.

"Don't talk to her like that," Harry said, more forcefully this time. He was not going to be left out of this conversation.

"I don't..."

"No, it's time for you to listen now, Renato," Harry stared back into those green eyes that were so full of anger, full of rage. They were piercing.

"Your mother did what she did because she thought it was the right think to do. She was put in a terrible position, when she was very young. No one should go through what she went through, alone," he said, and put his hand on her shoulder. He could feel her start crying. "She did what she needed to do, to keep us both safe."

Renato sat down, looking at his mother, crying on the couch. He turned his head away from her, and looked out at the fire in the fireplace. The silence was not peaceful.

"Renato," she whispered to him. Slowly, he turned to her.

"Renato, I lied to you." She looked at him in the face, looking very sad, very tired. "I lied to everyone. I'm so sorry," she said, taking one of his hands in hers. "I was young, and very scared. I didn't want you to be hurt, but I didn't want you in any danger." He was looking at her now, his expression wounded. "Harry and I were no longer together, and I wasn't going to ask him to be with me, because I was pregnant."

"You should have told me the truth. I should have known him, even if he wasn't with us," Ren said pointedly, but in a quieter voice than before. "He could have still been my father." Tears were welling in Renato's eyes, his voice cracking on those last words.

Harry felt like an outsider again. He understood that this was how the two of them dealt with problems. Renato raged and screamed, then sat and let his mother soothe him back down with quiet words and soft touches.

It was working. He was calmer, now.

She took both his hands in hers, put her lips on his forehead, and whispered something that Harry couldn't understand. Ren started to cry, then looked over at Harry, and bit his lip, trying to stop the tears rolling down his cheeks, but it was too late. He whispered something back to his mother, in Italian, it sounded like to Harry, and she kissed him again.

It was such an intimate moment; Harry didn't know what to do, so he sat, hands in his lap, watching the clock on his desk. It felt like an intrusion, to look at them talking to each other, so privately.

After a moment, Aurelia dug into her cloak, and pulled out a handkerchief, and handed it to Renato, who wiped his face and blew his nose. They looked at each other and laughed. Then, at the same time, they turned at looked at Harry.

"So," said Renato, still sniffling a little, "You're my Dad."

Harry looked at Renato, not sure whether he was breathing or not. This was the most important conversation of his life. His voice shook as spoke.

"I'm your father." There, he said it, and it felt good. Harry smiled. "I'm not sure if that really makes me your Dad, just yet, but I'd like to be."

Ren nodded, understanding what Harry was clumsily trying to say.

"When did you find out, you know, about me?" he asked.

"When I got here. When... when I saw you. I knew," Harry said honestly. Ren smiled up at him.

Aurelia sat back in silence, watching. The two people she had loved most in the world were in the same room she was, were talking to each other, getting to know each other. She knew Ren would never again be completely hers; sharing him with Harry was inevitable. But instead of feeling like she was losing her son, she looked at them, and realized they were all gaining so much more. A feeling of completeness settled on her.

"So," he said again, "Harry Potter. My Dad is Harry Potter." Ren snickered. "No one is going to believe me, you know."

Harry chuckled and breathed a sigh of relief. It was going to be okay. "Go look in a mirror, Ren. Add longer hair and some glasses."

Ren turned to his mom, who nodded. "Maybe a funny little scar," she joked, smirking at him.

"Is that why you never let me grow my hair out?" Ren asked her, raising an eyebrow.

"No, its because when its long, it gets in your face and sticks out, messy," she said, pointing at Harry, "well, like that."

Ren looked at Harry, then back at his Mum. They all started laughing.

Aurelia grabbed her son's hand once more. "Ren, I want you to be okay with all of this. I know that this has been a lot to handle, all at once. I also know that things might not always feel comfortable. You can always talk to me, or Harry," Harry nodded, "but I want you to talk to someone else, too."

"Mum, I'm okay. I just need to think about it all, sort it out in my head."

"I know. But I'm going to have a Counsellor come see you, too, once a week or so, for a few months. Unless there is someone here on staff?" she said, looking at Harry.

He thought of Ginny, who was probably the most appropriate person capable of handling that here at Hogwarts, except for this blasted situation. He shook his head.

"Mum..." Renato said, sounding like a whine.

"No, I'm going to insist on this one, love. Maybe you two could meet in Hogsmeade?" she added, looking at Harry again.

He nodded. "That can be arranged."

"Good," she said. "I'll owl you the information tomorrow with the details." Ren agreed, resigned to the matter now.

They sat and talked for an hour or so. Aurelia asked about Renato's classes, and how he was doing with his schoolwork. Ren relayed information about the Quidditch season, told her in more detail about their most recent win against Slytherin, and their next game coming after the holidays, against Hufflepuff.

Ren offered to take her around the castle, and she accepted. Harry followed behind, watching the two of them interact. They stopped by the Ravenclaw common room, and popped in for a moment. Aurelia made some small talk with Professor Flitwick, who was just leaving his office when they walked by. He asked her about her work, and they talked a few minutes about what some of her classmates were up to now. Then Ren showed her the Gryffindor common room, and introduced her to some of his friends.

Aurelia entertained Ren with some stories about when she had been a student. Some of the people and events she recalled Harry had forgotten, or had never heard about. It was fun listening to her stories. She had a fantastic memory.

They ended the tour back in Harry's office. Aurelia put her arms around her son, and kissed him on the head. "I need to get going, love," she said.

"Are you leaving? You could have dinner with us," Ren said cheerfully.

"I'm supposed to be over at Luna's tonight - might I use a fireplace?"

"Sure," Harry said, handing her the small tin with floo powder.

While she was talking to Luna, Harry looked over at Ren, who seemed to be taking all the afternoon's events remarkably well.

"Well, what happens now?" he asked Harry.

"That's up to you, Ren," Harry replied. "What do you want to do next?"

He was quiet. "I don't know. I mean, I'm glad I know the truth. I want to get to know you better. I want... I'd like to be..." jumbled Renato, looking up at Harry.

Harry nodded. "It's not going to happen overnight, but it will happen. I promise."

Ren smiled. Harry looked at his son's face, a face he knew well already. It was real now, he had a son, and Renato knew he was his father. Their relationship could develop, there was still time. Harry's heart felt suddenly full.

Aurelia came back. "I'm going to go now."

Ren's face fell, a little.

"I think that its best, love. I know too much about you already," she teased, mussing his hair. Ren looked outraged, then smiled. "Harry needs to spend some time with you, now. Besides, I'll see you in a couple of weeks, holidays, right?"

"Right," he said, "but what about..." he said, looking up at Harry again.

Aurelia and Harry looked at each other. Harry could see that this was not going to be easy.

Aurelia broke the silence. "Harry and I will talk, okay, love? He and his wife might have plans, and we're supposed to go see..."

"Muuum..." Ren pleaded. He did that a lot, Harry noticed.

She looked up at Harry, and back down at Renato. "We'll talk, okay? No promises."

Ren seemed pleased, anyway.

Together they walked Aurelia out of the Entrance Hall, down the walk to the Apparition point at the front gates.

Aurelia looked at Harry, and said, "That went well." He nodded, having just thought the same thing.

"Talk to him some more. He's excited right now," she said, looking at Ren, who had run off the path to chase a frog hopping away from him, "but tomorrow the real questions will start. I love my son," she said, "but he can be an ass when he thinks he needs to know something. Don't let him bully you," she said gravely.

Harry's eyes were on Ren, who whooped loudly as he caught, then released the irritated frog.

Harry turned to look at her, took her by the hand, and kissed her softly on the cheek. "Thank you," he said. She looked puzzled at him. "He's a great boy. You did a fantastic job."

She looked over at Ren, who was jogging back to them, and smiled. "He is a good boy. Good material to start with, mind you," she said, looking back at Harry. "What you told him about me, about why I didn't say anything. Do you really understand?"

Harry nodded. "I'm not happy about the decision you made," he said, firmly, "but I understand why you made it. You did what you thought was best. I'm not in any position to second-guess you now."

"Thank you," she said quietly, her face dark and sad. "I never meant to hurt you."

"I never meant to hurt you, either," he whispered.

She looked up at him, caught for a long second in his eyes, then looked away quickly, turning back to their son. "No regrets, Harry Potter," she said evenly as Ren came barrelling toward them. "Look what we have to show for ourselves."

"Our legacy," he said quietly.

She smiled. "That's a nice way of looking at it."

She caught Ren by the arm, kissed soundly on the cheek, as he half-heartedly tried to get away.

She pulled him close to her. "This boy is everything to me. Take good care of him, " she said.

"I will," Harry promised, as Aurelia blew Ren another kiss, and Apparated.

Ren and Harry walked back to the castle, looking at each other cautiously. Harry broke the silence by saying, "Its almost dinnertime, you should join your friends in the Great Hall."

"Aren't you coming to dinner?" Renato asked.

"Not right now. I have some stuff to take care of, and I need to go find my wife." Harry watched Renato's expression for some change at those last words, but there was none.

"Okay, maybe we could talk some more tomorrow?" Ren asked.

Harry nodded. "How about after breakfast?" he suggested.

"Okay, sounds good."

They walked some more in silence.

Renato spoke first this time. "Er - what am I supposed to call you?"

Harry thought for a long moment. "How about 'Harry' for now, until you feel like something else."

"Okay, Harry," he said, beaming.

"But Professor Potter when the others are around," Harry added.

"Oh, yes sir, of course."

They made their way to the entrance. Before they went inside, Harry took Renato aside and sat him down on a bench next to the entrance.

Harry looked over at Renato, and said, "For the time being, maybe we shouldn't say anything about this to anyone."

A dark look filled Ren's eyes, and it reminded Harry of Aurelia. "No one?" he said, sadly.

"Well, I know you'd like to talk to your mates, but..." Harry stopped. Aurelia was right; this was going to get more complicated before it got easier.

But what to say? There was no need to treat the boy like a child. He'd be fourteen next week. When Harry was fourteen, he had fought a dragon, and duelled a Dark Lord.

"It's like this. I know. You know. Your mother knows," he said, pausing to see if Ren was following him. He nodded. "Your mom's friend Luna knows, my wife knows, Jack's mother knows." Ren's eyes grew wide at this. "She's one of my best friends, since I was eleven, and, well, I needed someone to talk to about all of this," Harry admitted. "This was a real shock to me, too."

"Anyway, Jack's dad," said Harry, looking out at the stars starting to shine, as the sun dropped below the horizon, and evening enveloped them. "Jack's dad is my wife's brother, and my oldest friend in the world. I need to be the one to tell him about you. I'm going to do it, soon, I promise, but I don't think Jack should know until I tell Ron."

Harry stopped talking, and looked over at Renato. "Can you understand?"

"He's going to hate me, you think?" Ren whispered.

"No, never," sputtered Harry. "No, Renato."

"Yes, he is," Ren said, gloomily. "He's going to be mad that ..."

"Renato. This is not about you. No, look at me." Harry lifted his chin up, looked him straight in the eyes. "The choices that your mother and I made fifteen years ago were our choices. I have no regrets, about anything, especially anything which brought me someone as extraordinary as you," he said firmly.

Renato grinned at that, then sighed forlornly again. "Um, is your wife, is she okay with this?" he asked, looking worried again.

It was Harry's turn to look glum. "I'm not going to lie to you; this was hard for her to hear about. But its not you, Renato," he said, quickly, when Ren's face dropped. "It's me she was mad at. Me. She thinks you're great."

"Get out," said Ren.

"No, it's true," Harry said, nodding his head.

Ren was quiet. "Really?" he asked, disbelief in his voice.

"I promise. I want you to get to know each other, as soon as possible. We all just need time, time to get to know each other," he said, dizzy at how fast this was all moving. "We have lots of time. It will all be okay," he said, aloud, as if to convince himself as well. "Now, go eat some dinner, and I'll see you in the morning," said Harry, standing.

Ren nodded and stood up as well. "Goodnight, sir."

Then he leaned over, apprehensively, and put his arm around Harry's waist.

Harry froze, then quickly put his arms around the boy. They embraced, tighter, and Harry felt his throat tighten, and a small sob escape from Renato's chest. He bent down, and looked into Ren's eyes.

"Just so you know," he said quietly, wiping a tear from Ren's cheek, "I love you. I have since the day I got here." Harry put his hands on Ren's shoulders. "It's... it's going to be okay now," he said again, reassuring both of them.

Ren sniffed again, then nodded and wiped his eyes. Harry gave him a quick kiss on the forehead, and said, "Go, eat dinner now."

"Yes sir," said Ren. He looked up, and for the first time really saw Harry, saw his own green eyes looking back at him, behind those glasses. His own smile, his own hair... he saw his father. A real glimpse at his future.

They walked into the castle, and Harry left Ren at the entrance to the Great Hall. He smiled as he watched Ren walk inside and find his place amongst his friends at the Gryffindor table. Ren turned back once to look at Harry, and gave him a happy smile.

Harry turned to leave the Great Hall. He felt completely drained. His emotions had run the gamut, and had been on the go since that morning, and it was not over yet.

Ginny. Time to go find her, talk to her.

He jogged up the stairs, to the hospital ward, to go find his wife.

******************************

Aurelia Apparated to the front door of the Lovegood-Longbottom residence. It was a neat and tidy home, full of interesting trinkets and artefacts, with the loveliest garden in Britain hidden in a courtyard in the back.

Luna answered the door, and seeing the look on her friend's face, said, "Oh dear," and walked her over toward the overstuffed chairs in the sitting room. Luna sat down next to her, her blonde hair piled high on her head, making her look years younger than she was.

Luna studied her for a second, then leaned in for a kiss on the cheek, and a hug. "It's okay, you know."

"What's okay?" Aurelia asked, her expression forlorn.

"To still love him," she said, her blue eyes shining with affection.

"No, its not. I should have gotten over this a long time ago," said Aurelia, massaging her temples with her fingertips, looking back at Luna.

"Why? To love someone is precious. Why would you try and not destroy that love?"

"Because he doesn't belong to me. Because he doesn't love me."

Luna was quiet. She asked, in her dreamy voice, "Does that really matter?"

"Luna..."

"No, really," she said, taking Aurelia's hand. "What you had with Harry was precious, to you. It meant so much to your life, even as brief as it was, it was defining. It should not be ignored, or forgotten."

"He has," said Aurelia, a bitter note in her voice.

"Well, it did not mean the same to him," Aurelia looked up at her, and Luna continued, "and that's alright, Lia. It did not mean to him what it meant to you. That does not make it less important or less precious to you," she said sagely. "Love doesn't have to be reciprocated to be important."

It was a minute before Aurelia answered, "I wanted to be important to him."

"I know, love, and who knows what would have happened if, well, you know what hadn't happened. You might have ended up together. You might have loved each other with the intensity of a thousand suns," she looked up, beaming. "Or, you might have fought like cats and dogs when he got moody and depressed, or when you got snooty and elitist."

Aurelia looked at her again. Was this supposed to make her feel better?

"True, love," Luna continued. "You two probably never had a proper argument, did you?"

"Once," she said. "I told him Quidditch was a waste of time. He stormed off and didn't speak to me until the next day."

"Lia, my love, you have loved an extraordinary man for almost 15 years. That's longer than a lot of relationships nowadays," she said, amused. "The fact that it was a completely one-sided relationship does not make it less significant to you, and you are doing a disservice to yourself by pretending it isn't important to you. He was the love of your life," she said, looking up and closing her eyes dramatically. "But," she added, opening her eyes and looking squarely at Aurelia, "that doesn't mean that you should use that as an excuse to isolate yourself."

"I know. I just never felt... well, you know." Aurelia had lots of friends. She had dated, really she had, but it never lasted. In fact, she often set up her former boyfriends with new partners, and had happily attended their weddings, bought presents for their children. "I just haven't ever met anyone that made me feel the same way."

"And you might not, ever. But you might find something that feels just as good, in a different way." Luna giggled loudly, as if she had thought of something funny. "Remember that horrible cinema movie you took me to, where all those people drowned?"

Aurelia laughed aloud. Luna had stood up in the theatre, screaming as the Titanic sank, and took Leo De Caprio down with her. "It's like that movie, remember? Just because it didn't last doesn't make it insignificant."

Luna continued talking in her soft voice. "You were lucky to find someone you loved so much, and you did get Renato out of it all." She tilted her head, and added, "The fact that he married someone else was ... well, tough luck, poppet."

Aurelia stared at Luna's wide eyes. "Bloody hell. That's the most depressing thing I've ever heard, Luna," Aurelia sobbed to herself, putting her head in her hands again. "Damn. I'm just pathetic." She looked up at her friend. "Get me a drink, will you?"

"Ooh, lets," agreed Luna, getting up and heading for the kitchen. "Neville will be late tonight, and I'm all finished with the next edition, so we should get smashed and go see one of those cinema movies. Something where everyone lives happily ever after... or not," she added, seeing the scowl on Aurelia's face. "You're right. Everyone should die," she said merrily, handing Aurelia a glass of mulled wine.

Inside the Gryffindor tower, another conversation was going on.

"So, is everything okay?" asked Nigel.

Ren nodded. "He's my Dad, and he said," Ren got quiet, "he said he loves me," he finished, his face turning slightly pink.

"That's great, Ren," Jack added. Their previous argument evaporated, as always, as soon as Ren got back into the dorm. "So, how do you feel, really?"

"Dunno, pretty chuffed, I guess. I mean, I thought he was dead, my Dad, and he's not, so, I have one now, but since I don't really know him..."

"Yeah," said Jack. "It's mental, though..."

"Yeah," said Renato.

"Yeah," agreed Nigel.