The Error of My Ways

 Chapter Nine: In Which Much Happens

 "I am not staying behind because I am trying to see Percy," she told herself angrily.

 Classes were going very well. The only classes she found slightly difficult were Potions and History of Magic. Potions was not difficult but Professor Snape's changed attitude took a little getting used to. It was not as if this had not been beneficial for several students, after all, Neville was quickly losing that panicked look whenever he entered the class. It was not the sheer torture for the poor fellow that it had always been in the past.

 For her, the difficulty lay with the fact that Professor Snape's attitude towards her had changed and it was different from the others. She could not put her finger on exactly what had changed but it was certainly positive. There had always been an unspoken challenge between them, each daring the other to find a weakness, each trying to assert their own superiority. Hermione was a proud student and Professor Snape was an exacting teacher. It was a classic recipe for a power struggle. Now, that was gone and it left her wondering why.

 For obvious reasons, History of Magic was the most difficult class for her to sit through. She forced herself to act as normally as possible. She forced herself to contribute to class discussion as much as she normally did. She forced herself to not stare at him. All of this extra effort was taking its toll on her and she was not sleeping well. Even Harry and Ron were starting to notice and were voicing their concerns about her.

 "I have to talk to Percy," she thought to herself, "I cannot keep this up for much longer."

 But, it seemed that the fates were conspiring against her because Percy always appeared to be busy. If he was not teaching, he was meeting with Dumbledore. If he was not meeting with Dumbledore, he was off somewhere. If he was not off somewhere, he was meeting with Professor Snape or Sirius Black or Remus Lupin or...the list went on and on.

 "He's avoiding me," she thought with sudden clarity. That seemed to be the only explanation that made sense.

 On a brighter note, the study group was turning out to be a great success. Hermione had to admit that there was really something about getting a group together like this. There wasn't the pressure of being in class and there was a shared sense of purpose among all the members. The synergy was incredible and everyone was making great progress. It was also the only other time she saw Percy. He was looking rather tired but he was always willing to help the students with any questions they might have.

 "Percy isn't so bad, after all," Ron conceded as, with a lot of help from his older brother, he was finally able to deflect a variety of particularly nasty disfigurement hexes.

 "You mean you didn't call him a know-it-all git? There is hope for you yet, Ron," Harry laughed and clapped him on the shoulder.

 Neville was gaining confidence and it was truly amazing how much better he was doing in his classes. Potions was no longer torture for him and, although it would realistically never be his best subject, he figured that Snape would trust him with the better quality cauldrons soon enough.

 Dean and Seamus just wanted to pick up pointers overall. There wasn't any particular subject they were worried about. Both of them had more difficulty with handling the stress involved in completing an exam of these proportions and Percy had several tips that would help.

 "Ironic how I can show these students how to handle the stress of writing an exam while I can't even handle the stress of being near her. I can't go on like this much longer. Something is going to have to give," he thought to himself.

 Hermione never really needed help with anything. She completed all of the extra assignments that he handed out...never any need for revision. He almost felt as if there was some sort of competition going on between them. She worked diligently, answering questions from the others as needed, and generally trying to appear as her normal self, all the while acutely aware of everything Percy did or said.

 Tonight had been a particularly difficult night. They had started on secondary Transfigurations, where one transfigured an object that had already been changed once before. It had turned out to be more difficult than it sounded. In fact, it was past midnight before they all got it right. Wearily, the students left one by one, leaving Percy sitting alone at the table, rubbing his temples.

 "I feel exhausted," he thought to himself as he closed his eyes, "These past several weeks have been torture. I cannot keep up these appearances any longer. I am going to have to tell her how I feel about her and to hell with the consequences. I cannot live like this...I just cannot live like this."

 The sound of a door opening and closing forced him to open his eyes. Shocked, he realized that Hermione was standing in front of him.

 "I told them I forgot something and that they shouldn't wait for me," she said to the unspoken question burning in his eyes.

 She looked so beautiful. All he had to do was reach out and...

 "Why are you avoiding me, Percy?" she suddenly asked.

 He saw the hurt expression in her eyes and blushed somewhat in shame.

 "You're right, I have been avoiding you like the idiot that I am," he remonstrated himself angrily.

 Standing up quickly, he walked over to her, stopping right in front of her. He had to fight down the urge to hold her in his arms.

 "I am not avoiding you, Hermione. I have been very busy...I..." he started somewhat nervously.

 Her anger flared immediately...

 "Do not treat me like a child, Percy!! I am not a child and I know when I am being lied to!!"

 Percy didn't know what to say. She looked as if she was either ready to curse him again or burst into tears. He wasn't sure which one would be worse. She looked down to her feet and he noticed that her hands were clenched into tight fists.

 "Tell me I am wrong," she suddenly whispered.

 "Hermione?"

 "Tell me I am wrong. That what I think I see is not really there."

 "What do you mean?"

 Hermione raised her face and looked at him. Percy was taken aback at what was being conveyed through her sparkling yet sad eyes. His heart began to pump madly as his hopes suddenly grew.

 She was trembling slightly, as if the effort of what she was about to say was almost more than she could bear but, when she spoke, her voice was calm.

 "Tell me that you do not love me. Tell me that and I will not wake up each morning hoping that somehow you will notice me. Tell me that and I will not go to bed each night hoping that I will dream about you. Tell me you do not love me...the way I have fallen in love with you."

 Percy was so stunned by this confession, simple and heartfelt, that he could not react immediately. He felt as if the last shackle around his heart had broken off and he was finally free of his painful past. Free to love her as she loved him.

 "You love me," he thought deliriously. "I hoped but never thought I would ever hear you say that you felt for me what I feel for you. I thought I was only fooling myself."

 Hermione waited quietly for an answer. Her eyes began to shimmer and she felt a pain in her chest.

 "You are not saying anything. Why can you not answer me? Please say something...say anything. Maybe...maybe you don't...oh no, what have I done?" she suddenly thought in despair, tears welling up in her eyes..

 She started to back away from him...

 "I am so sorry, Percy," she started in a broken voice, "I should not have..."

 Her words were effectively cut off as Percy suddenly dashed forward and, in one swift motion, pulled her into his arms and kissed her lips, flooding her entire being with a warmth only dreamed of. She instinctively placed her arms around his neck and held him close. Words were no longer necessary as they stood there in a paradise of their own making, blissfully oblivious to their surroundings and bathed in gentle moonlight.

 Percy felt as if he was drowning in her. All this time spent in denial. All this time spent keeping his feelings hidden. All this time spent...without her in his arms. What a waste. He thrilled at how she responded to him, so artless, so genuine. Her arms around him. Her lips on his. The fragrant smell of gardenias in her hair; even the taste of the chocolate covered cherries she had eaten earlier was intoxicating. Electric shocks coursed through his body as she ran her fingers through his hair. He could not get enough of her, this woman of his dreams who had been hiding in plain view all this time.

 Hermione lazily ran her fingers through his fiery silken tresses, delighting at how they gently caressed her skin. His kisses were like flames that were igniting something deep inside of her...something she did not even know existed. Fears vanished. Doubts vanished. Insecurities vanished. She was lost in emotions and feelings that she had only ever read about but had never actually experienced. Being in his arms was the only place she wanted to be.

 They stopped kissing several moments later and simply stood in each other's arms, holding onto each other as if that was the only thing that mattered. Hermione's face rested on Percy's chest and she listened to the living music of his heartbeat...a heartbeat that was as fast as the one that pounded in her chest.

 "I cannot do the thing you ask, Hermione," Percy finally broke the comfortable silence, "I cannot say to you that I do not love you because I do, more than I will ever be able to tell you."

Hermione smiled. She pulled back slightly and looked at him. His eyes were warm and spoke volumes as to what he was thinking and feeling. She was certain that it was mirrored in her eyes as well.

 "I love you too, Percy."

 He caressed her cheek softly.

 "You are so beautiful."

 She blushed becomingly as Percy leaned down to kiss her again.

 The sound of the clock striking 1:00 am broke the spell. They looked at the clock and then looked at each other. It was very late.

 "I could walk you back to the common room," he offered.

 Hermione shook her head regretfully.

 "Ron and Harry might still be up...you know how they get when they start playing Wizard Chess."

 Percy nodded. He had forgotten all about them.

 "I suppose we will have to tell them at some point," he tapped her nose playfully.

 "Not yet. I want to keep you all to myself," she teased gently, looking up at him with eyes full of love.

 Percy smiled.

 "I think I would like that."

 He leaned down and their lips met again.

 They released each other reluctantly. Hermione walked to the door and opened it.

 "I will see you tomorrow in class?"

 She smiled as she turned to face him.

 "I wouldn't miss it for the world."

 Percy grinned rather sheepishly.

 "Good night, Hermione."

 "Good night, Percy."

 Closing the door behind her, Hermione could not stop smiling.

"He loves me." She repeated to herself again and again and again as she aimlessly drifted through the corridors. After about fifteen minutes of this she suddenly realized that she had ended up near the Slytherin dungeons where they were probably plotting the end of the world, as she knew it.

 "How on earth did I get here?" she wondered, "And what is the quickest way back?"

 As she walked, she heard approaching footsteps and ducked into an unused classroom. It had been a reflex...six previous school terms with Harry and Ron and their constant misadventures had conditioned her to react to certain situations in certain ways; one of which was when footsteps were heard, get out of sight...fast.

 She heard another set of footsteps. Something told her to stay where she was.

 "Headmaster, I have just returned. There was an urgent meeting called and I had no time to inform you personally. I trust Minerva gave you my note."

 "Yes, she did but there is no need for apologies. I understand completely. What have you learned?"

 "You were right about their target. They have not changed their goal. I still do not have a clear understanding of this change of tactic...none of the other Death Eaters are questioning it. It seems that the Dark Lord and, perhaps, Peter Pettigrew, know what the true purpose of this newest scheme is. For the moment, they are biding their time."

 There was a sigh.

 "I had hoped that I was mistaken, that this lull meant that they had changed tack...I realize that this is particularly difficult for you."

 "They do not know..."

 "No one knows."

 "I wish...I wish I could tell..."

 "The time will come for that but not now...not yet. We must wait until this particular danger has been dealt with."

 "Of course, Headmaster. What should I do?"

 "What do they expect you to do?"

 "To keep them informed of their target's whereabouts."

 "I will work out what information to pass along to them. You will need to send an owl to Sirius and make sure that he is aware of all the newest developments. I am sure that Harry has kept him up to date on what has been happening but you and I are the ones who know the whole story. Perhaps it is time that Sirius and the others understand exactly what we are dealing with. I suggest that we have a meeting with all the professors tomorrow night after dinner."

 "Does that include Percy Weasley?"

 "No, I will meet with him separately."

 "Headmaster, please...if there is anything..."

 "I will do all I can to help...as I know you will too."

 "Thank you."

 "Now, you had better check on your students and make sure that they are all accounted for. How is Draco lately? He has not looked well."

 "I have not been able to get any real information out of him. He seems stunned by the events which transpired and how close he came to being blamed for it. Perhaps he is shocked at the implications and is rethinking his own position. I really do not know. I have noticed that he has been keeping a close eye on Miss Granger and that he has not said anything untoward about her situation, which is completely unlike him and yet very encouraging."

 "Perhaps he has finally developed a conscience."

 "He is a formidable student with a great deal of potential. I do not wish to see that wasted as it was with his father."

 "Agreed. Keep trying to talk to him. He is probably holding a lot of anger and sadness inside him and I do not wish that to consume him."

 "I will try. Good night, Headmaster."

 "Good night."

 The sound of footsteps finally fading away finally drew Hermione back out into the hallway. She stood there for several moments trying to collect her puzzled thoughts.

 "What was that all about?" she thought to herself. It sounded like Voldemort was after Harry again. As for the two voices, one was certainly Dumbledore and the other was definitely Professor Snape. What were they discussing? There seemed to be a lot of secrets and what was all that talk about Draco? It sounded as if he might be on their side after all. But that wasn't possible, was it?

 "I am going to have to talk to Harry and Ron about all this. This is something that the three of us have to work together on. Sirius might have some information that could help...or perhaps Remus," she thought quietly.

 She heard a clock in a nearby classroom strike 1:30am. She had to hurry to get to her dorm if she wanted to have a shower before bed. The quickest way would be to cut through the dungeons. Shivering slightly, she hurried along and did not stop to glance at the portraits of several heads of the Slytherin house who seemed to hiss at her as she passed quietly.

 She blinked in surprise. There was a light in one of the classrooms.

 "Who would be there at this hour?" Hermione wondered and tiptoed over to the open door. She snuck a glance inside. Professor Snape was sitting at his desk at the head of the class and appeared to be marking assignments. He looked very unhappy. One hand cradled his forehead as he checked off answers with a dark quill. Every so often he would stop, massage his temples and start again. Hermione felt that she could not just pass him by...she had never seen anyone look so despondent...it was so unlike him that it worried her.

 "He is probably going to bite my head off but I wasn't put into Gryffindor for nothing," she sighed to herself.

 She tapped hesitantly at the door. Snape looked up wearily and, when he saw who it was, immediately stopped marking and stood up. For a second, Hermione thought he was going to take points off for disturbing his marking but then realized that he was motioning her to sit down at one of the desks. She sat at the centre desk in the front row.

 "What did you want, Miss Granger?" he asked.

 "I was on my way back to the Gryffindor common room. It is getting late."

 Snape regarded her for a moment.

 "So why are you not there?"

 Hermione paused before answering. She suddenly felt awkward. What had she been thinking coming in here and interrupting him like this?

 "I...I saw the light from the classroom and was curious why anyone would be here at this hour...well, you looked so unhappy...I...I guess...I guess I wanted to help. I mean, I know you probably don't want my help...but, well, despite that...here I am."

 She looked down quickly in embarrassment. There was a silence in the classroom that made Hermione very nervous. She almost felt as if she would be expelled for the intrusion. She probably looked very foolish.

 She heard a sigh and looked up to see Snape looking at her with a sadness that touched her heart. He walked over to where she was, sitting on the chair next to her.

 "Miss Granger, there is much happening at Hogwarts that you are unaware of and it is better this way. My sadness is my own concern and, although I appreciate your offer of help, there is nothing that anyone can do for me. The decisions I made in the past...well, they limit what I can do now. I suppose I wish I had had a little more foresight when I was younger. Things would certainly be different."

 She looked at the older man but did not say anything, almost willing him to continue.

 "Sometimes, thinking with your heart, does lead you in the right direction," he said, almost to himself.

 He seemed to be pondering something painful but, in a moment, his expression cleared and he looked at her again.

 Feeling that she should go, Hermione stood up, as did Professor Snape.

 "How is your study group progressing, Miss Granger?"

 Hermione froze for a second.

 "It is progressing very well, Professor Snape," she managed to respond through flaming cheeks.

 He looked at her as if he was going to ask her another question but then thought the better of it.

 "You will do well on your NEWTs, Miss Granger, with or without the study group," he said with a slight smile.

 "Thank you for your confidence in my abilities," she said quietly and quickly left the classroom.

 Professor Snape stared at the empty doorway for several moments and then reached into one of his pockets. He drew out a photograph that was quite worn around the edges. It showed a baby, chubby and rosy-cheeked with a mass of black hair. Severus kissed the photograph, returned it to his pocket and then, sighing, settled himself to mark the rest of the assignments.

 Hermione's mind was full of unanswered questions as she hurried along the corridor to the common room entrance. It seemed that everyone had secrets, everyone's life had somehow been changed by Voldemort. Even someone as seemingly cold and heartless as Professor Snape had changed.

 "Golden Snitch," she said to the portrait of the Fat Lady who, with a sleepy smile, allowed her entrance to the common room.

 The common room was empty. She looked at the entrance to the girls' dormitories and shook her head slightly. She was too wound up to shower or sleep and so she decided to start an essay for her History of Magic class. She sat down in one of the really comfortable chairs in front of the fireplace and arranged her quills and parchments around her.

 "I'll do a piece on the ancient Egyptian wizards...I have always had a fascination with them," she thought back to when Ron and his family had gone to Egypt that summer before 4^th year. She vividly remembered Percy; with his Head Boy badge pinned to his fez, and smiled.

 "Maybe there was always something more than just admiration there," she thought.

 Still smiling, she quickly got down to work. She became engrossed in her preliminary draft and had completed two scrolls of writing when she heard the common room entrance open. Surprised that anyone else would be up at this hour, she looked up quickly and saw...

 "Malfoy!?! What are you doing here? How on earth did you get in here?"

 She jumped out of her chair and her eyes shot daggers at him.

 Draco quickly motioned for her to be quiet, fearfully looking around the room.

 "Stop screaming, Granger, I am not going to hurt you. I have just spent the last hour talking to Snape and Dumbledore and they gave me the password. It will be changed tomorrow anyway so just calm down and hear me out. It's important."

 Eyes still glaring, and with a hand on her wand under her robes, she nodded stiffly and motioned to a nearby chair. The silver-haired youth sat down. He looked very uncomfortable and kept looking around the room as if he was terrified of being overheard...or attacked by a group of rampaging Gryffindors.

 "Look, I know what you think of me. I know what you all think of me," he started.

 "If that is the case then why are you here?" she asked irritably. Hermione was not in the mood for games.

 "I play a role, Granger. I am good at it and it keeps me out of trouble with my dad...well, up until now..."

 "Sounds like you are giving me plenty of stuff to blackmail you with."

 "I am giving you a reason to trust me. You are in more danger than you realize. I don't even know the half of it."

 "What are you talking about?"

 "I have not sold my soul to the devil, Granger, and I don't plan to. Now it seems there is a price I have to pay for my refusal. Why do you think those shape-shifters looked like me?"

 Hermione looked at him blankly. She, Harry and Ron had talked about it but they really had not come up with any good ideas. It had seemed like a mistake.

 "I really don't know."

 "The idea was that they would...well...complete their assignment and disapparate, leaving the blame to fall on my shoulders. It would have happened, too, if Percy had not been on the train and loaded it with dark magic detection spells."

 Hermione looked horrified. This thought had not crossed her mind...it was too awful to even consider!

 "Your father wouldn't..."

 "My father is ruthless and the only thing he cares about is power."

 That left no room for argument. Hermione knew he was right in his assessment of his father.

 "What about you?" she finally asked.

 "I hate being in Slytherin and hate the people I have to associate with but I have gritted my teeth and borne it because it was expected and it kept me alive. Now, things have changed and I have to be careful with the people in my own house...lousy bunch of backstabbers. I came to warn you that they are still after you."

 "After me? Why am I suddenly so important? Harry is the one they should be after."

 "Don't you get it, Granger? You are the key to Harry. They would go after Ron too but Harry relies on your intelligence, your muggle logic and intuition as well as your keen witching ability. These are the things, which make you the target. That attack was not random."

 Hermione thought about the conversation she had overheard. Had they been talking about her? She shivered.

 "What do they want to do with me...kill me?"

 "No, they want to break you...destroy your confidence in yourself and your sense of who you are...sway you to their side. This will transform you from Harry Potter's greatest asset to his greatest liability and the key to his downfall."

 "Why are you telling me this? Even if all you say is true, it doesn't explain why you are trying to protect me. I'm sorry if I seem a bit suspicious but can you blame me when you look back over the last six years?"

 Draco shook his head with a sorrowful look.

 "No, I don't blame you, Granger, but I am telling you the truth, what little I know. Why am I doing this? Because...look, I can't talk about that...not now. I will do what I can to help. It is not much but it is all I can do. They are after you and you have to be careful. Percy knows what is going on and I know he will look out for you. If I manage to hear anything else, I will let you know, somehow."

 "Malfoy?"

 "Yeah, Granger?"

 "You swear you had nothing to do with what happened to me?"

 Draco sighed heavily and Hermione suddenly had the distinct impression that she had trodden on something better left untouched. His expression reminded her of Professor Snape's. Maybe it was a Slytherin thing.

 "I would never do something like that to anyone...least of all to you. You may be the most annoying know-it-all bookworm I have ever known," he smiled at the indignation that shone in her eyes, "but you are smart, brave, loyal and you don't deserve this."

 He sounded sincere.

 "Okay, I believe you."

 The relief on his face was very apparent. He got up to leave.

 "Good night, Granger. I know you haven't been sleeping well lately...don't look at me like that...it's not as if I am sneaking into your room and spying on you but those circles under your eyes are pretty obvious. If you need something to help you sleep, don't go to Pomfrey, go to Snape instead. He knows a lot more about that sort of thing."

 She looked at him with a questioning glance. He sighed.

 "You are not the only one who has trouble sleeping, Granger. Good night."

 "Good night, Malfoy."

 Hermione mulled over this new information as she watched the young man leave the common room. Somehow what Malfoy told her did not frighten her; it galvanized her into action.

 "So, they think they can break me, do they? Well, we will see who breaks first!"

 She went up to her room and decided to leave the shower until the morning. Quickly changing into her nightgown, she snuggled in the safety of her warm bed and was asleep in an instant.

 At that same moment, in their respective rooms, five very different men thought about the now-sleeping young woman and each made a vow to protect her at all costs because they loved her...each in their own way.