The Error of My Ways

Chapter Eight: Return To A Quasi-Normal Life

 "It's really good having you back with us, Hermione," Harry said sincerely, shoveling waffles smothered in whipped cream, syrup and berries into his mouth at an alarming rate.

 "Yeah, no one telling us how much to study, which additional books to read, how to get extra credits, how much to study each night for NEWTs...what part of that did we miss, Harry?" Ron's smile was a mile wide. Despite his grumblings, he had missed his other best friend terribly.

 Hermione, with a sultry look, leaned close to Ron...very close; she batted her eyelashes becomingly at him...

 "I'll just have to make up for lost time, won't I?" she murmured.

 Ron stopped chewing and just sat there, gaping.

 Hermione giggled.

 "Honestly, Ron, if you had money, you couldn't even buy a clue," she said merrily.

 Ron blushed somewhat in confusion, not completely understanding the reference, but recovered his good humour. It was good having Hermione around. Harry was a great friend but they agreed on just about everything. There was something to be said about a healthy difference of opinion now and again. It added a definite tang to life at Hogwarts.

 Still smiling, Hermione glanced around the dining hall. It was good to get out of the infirmary and into some fresher air. She looked at the high table where all the professors sat. They were all talking among themselves. Professor Snape and Percy were in a quiet discussion...it looked as if they were discussing some kind of potion from the stirring motion he was demonstrating. Hermione could see Percy nodding in agreement every now and then. Strangely, they both turned to look at her at the same time. Professor Snape's expression was difficult to read...he almost looked as if he was still worried about her. Percy's eyes clearly showed his pain although the rest of his face betrayed nothing. They had to be discussing her situation...

 She looked away in a sudden fit of sadness.

 "Why did it have to be him?" she wondered, "I mean, what could he possibly see in me? I'm his brother's best friend. I don't know anything about the wizarding world outside of Hogwarts. He has seen and done so much...why am I torturing myself like this?"

 She sighed quietly, "Because I do love him, despite everything. There is something in that look of his which calls to me, deep inside...I can't be imagining it, can I?"

 "You okay, Hermione?" Ginny asked, her forehead creased in concern.

 "I'm fine," Hermione lied, feeling horribly guilty and embarrassed.

 "You haven't eaten much. Why don't you have a glass of pumpkin juice? It will at least give you something to go on," Ginny held a goblet out for her and Hermione accepted gratefully.

 "I'll need something stronger than this to make it through today," she thought bitterly.

 "You'll make someone a great wife, Ginny," Hermione smiled as the younger girl blushed furiously. Hermione also noticed that Harry was glancing at Ginny in a way that was vaguely familiar...

 "You will make Harry a great wife if the twit gets his act together," she thought to herself.

 They finished breakfast and headed to their first class, History of Magic, with the Hufflepuffs (Ginny went off to Herbology). Hermione felt as if her shoes had suddenly filled themselves with lead. Just what she wanted, to see Percy first thing in the morning. She hoped that the class would be uneventful. She just wanted to blend and not draw any attention to herself.

 "I just hope Ron and Harry don't act up," she thought to herself as she walked through the door to the classroom.

 Harry and Ron motioned Hermione over to their table near the front of the class. Well, it could have been worse, she could have been front-row-centre.

 Percy was just finishing writing notes on the board. Nothing seemed amiss. He looked over his notes and turned around to face his class. Hermione resolved to act as normally as possible and looked at him as if they had never shared that magical kiss. No, she was just another student and he was just another professor.

 For his part, Percy retreated into the pompous facade that was so familiar to him. He thought Hermione looked a little frail, thinner and somewhat fatigued but he sensed great inner strength and smiled, despite himself. He ran through attendance and was proud of the fact that he did not linger on her name any longer than the others.

 The lesson was a modestly interesting one...they were discussing witch-hunts of the past and how futile they had been. Percy brought the discussion around to the Salem witch-hunts and everyone started talking excitedly...

 "They burned everyone that didn't fit in! Anyone who was just a little different was branded a witch or warlock."

 "There was this muggle story about some of the harvests having some kind of mould that made people delusional and this is what caused them to do strange things, not witchcraft."

 "The stories muggles come up with are just hilarious."

 "Well, burning innocent people at the stake wasn't hilarious. So many lives wasted just because they did not conform to some pre-determined standard of conduct."

 "As if fire could ever kill a witch or a wizard."

 "The muggles were scared of everything, especially things they didn't understand."

 "Like magic."

 "I heard about other witching tests like dunking."

 "That was pretty bad but there was also a test called the pressing where the accused was placed under a lot of rocks...an easy levitation spell would do the trick there."

 "What about the morsel, where you had to swallow a big lump of food without chewing...you really can't charm your way out of that one. It was pretty nasty stuff if you ask me."

 "They said the witches...well, they...umm...lay with the devil."

 "Yeah, well, those same witches always seemed to recant their stories and said they were forced."

 "What do you mean?"

 "I mean taken against their will...you know, forced to...well, do it."

 "How can you force a witch? She'd have to be pretty stupid to let that happen to her."

 "Shut up!" Harry and Ron said simultaneously to the pair of Hufflepuffs that had taken the conversation to this new topic.

 Ron and Harry heard Hermione's book fall to the ground and turned to her. She was pale and she looked as if she was ready to faint. They each edged closer to her and put an arm around her. Percy quickly walked over to her as well.

 "Miss Granger, are you all right?" although his voice betrayed nothing, Hermione's eyes saw a familiar warmth in his eyes. It comforted her.

 "I am not imagining it...it is there, deny it though he might, it is there," she thought.

 "I...I am all right. Really."

 Turning to the two Hufflepuff boys that had made the comments, he spoke quietly but with an edge that cut to the quick.

 "I would suggest that, in the future, you learn to think before you speak. You will both meet with Mr. Filch tonight for offending all your female classmates in such an ignorant manner. Twenty points from Hufflepuff."

 The two boys flinched at the anger that flashed in the professor's eyes. They mumbled an apology, even though they weren't completely sure why he was so upset. Percy turned to Hermione, who had recovered somewhat. Harry and Ron still held her steady and she motioned to them that she was all right with a grateful smile.

 "Are you sure you are all right, Miss Granger?" he asked in a voice that was pure professionalism.

"Yes, Professor Weasley," she answered.

 His eyes searched hers for a moment longer and then he turned back to the topic at hand.

 The rest of the class went by quickly. Harry was right, Percy was a very good professor. He certainly knew his historical facts and could make parallels and links between different time periods in ways that were...well, interesting. No one fell asleep. No one even dozed. The class went by fast...too fast and, more quickly than she could have realized, they were on their way to the next class. She managed to catch one glimpse of Percy before leaving. He looked as if he still wanted to wring those boys' necks.

 "Are you sure you're all right, Hermione?" Ron asked, putting an arm around her shoulder and looking at her in concern.

 "Anyone we can curse for you?" Harry smiled as he took her bookbag.

 "You two really are incorrigible," she laughed, despite herself.

 "True, but you love us for it," Ron answered cheerfully.

 As they headed to Care of Magical Creatures, Hermione reflected that she was lucky to have friends like Harry and Ron. They made a great team and she felt she could relax around them. She just wished she could open up to them about her fears. Her overwhelming desire to keep them safe prevented her from doing that. Harry had to keep his wits about him if he was going to defeat Voldemort and having him worrying about her might make him careless. It was the same thing with Ron. No, even with friends as wonderful as the two of them, some things had to stay private. Besides, she could not bear the thought of telling them what she had told Percy. She trusted him in a way that, perhaps, she did not trust anyone else.

 "That's absurd...I could trust Harry and Ron with anything...but, this isn't just anything. Somehow, Percy understands me in a way they don't."

 Care of Magical Creatures was a lot of fun. The baby Chimaera had been approved by Dumbledore to provide security to Hogwarts once it was full-grown. Although originally classified as extremely dangerous by the Ministry of Magic (it had earned the same XXXXX rating as the Basilisk and the Acromantula), centuries of admittedly illegal breeding had rendered it somewhat domesticated and was now a valued guardian being. It was rumoured that they would shortly be replacing Dementors as the guardians of Azkaban.

 In typical Hagrid fashion, the class had been fun and not particularly taxing. Homework was trying to come up with a name for the newest Hogwarts resident. They had decided on Puzzle, seeing as he was made up of several different animals. The rest of the day went by quickly and Hermione was glad to see that she did not have any further panic attacks. Although she tried not to consciously think about it, it was always at the back of her mind.

 Dinner was wonderful and Hermione was able to relax for the first time that day. She did not eat a great deal (much to Ron and Harry's chagrin) but she soaked up the atmosphere and the conversation. Here was a place where you felt safe, even if the Slytherin table was just over there. Sitting in the great dining hall, surrounded by students and professors, you had the feeling that nothing could hurt you. It was a nice feeling.

 "Hey, Hermione, were you serious about that study group?" Neville asked shyly.

 Hermione smiled at Ron's glance to the heavens.

 "The sooner the better. We just need to get a Professor to oversee the group," she replied.

 "Thatsh eashy," Harry said through a mouthful of mashed potatoes, "Ashk Peshy."

 Ron looked at him with a bemused expression.

 "Sorry, Harry, but I don't speak potato-ish. Could you repeat that after you've swallowed?"

 Dean and Seamus chuckled into their cornish hens while Ginny marked the score "1" on an imaginary scorecard in the air.

 With a grin and a very loud swallow (more laughter), Harry said again, "Ask Percy. If anyone knows anything about NEWTs, it's him. Didn't he set some kind of record, Ron?"

 Ron frowned slightly, "Yeah, Mom and Dad talked about it for weeks. Stupid git."

 Ginny turned to her brother, "He can't be that stupid if he got all those NEWTs, now can he?"

 Ron snorted something that sounded an awful lot like "pompous know-it-all".

 "Hermione," Harry said suddenly, "Go ask Percy if he will be a part of our study group. There will be me, Ron, Neville, Dean and Seamus."

 "Me too!" Ginny exclaimed.

 "Ginny, you won't be writing until the next school year," Harry explained.

 Ginny blushed, "I know, I just want to get an early start."

 Harry looked at her beautifully flushed face as she looked at all of them with a silent pleading in her eyes. He could not say no to that.

 "All right, you can be a part of it too, Ginny," he said finally. Ginny's face lit up and she thanked him profusely, which made him blush slightly.

 "Okay, Hermione, you are our chairperson. Go up to him and ask him," Neville said.

 "Now?" she asked, suddenly nervous.

 "Why not? The best time to ask Percy anything is when he's eating. That way you can actually talk to him without too many interruptions," Ron smiled sarcastically.

 Hermione gave Ron a quick elbow in the ribs.

 "Okay, here I go," she announced to the table.

 "You'd think she was going into battle," Harry whispered to Ron. Ron simply watched her with a strange expression on his face.

 "Something is up," he thought to himself, "She has been acting a little strange since...well, for a while. And Percy, he hasn't been as annoying as usual lately. Could there be something...no, I'm just imagining things."

 Ron's thoughts quieted considerably as he turned his attention once again to the mashed potatoes on his plate.

 Hermione quietly walked up to the professors' table and over to where Percy was still engrossed in conversation with Professor Snape. They did not notice her approaching until she stood directly in front of them.

 "Excuse me," she said quietly as a means of letting them know she was there.

 The two men looked at her in some surprise. Professor Snape's expression was almost unreadable...in fact, if she did not know better, he seemed to be gazing at her somewhat wistfully.

 "You always give me the impression that you have lost something...why do I always feel that lately when you look at me? I do not remember feeling anything before except, perhaps, indifference and dislike," she thought.

 Percy's eyes burned into hers. He might be able to control his expression, his voice and his mannerisms but it was in his eyes where Hermione could see what he was trying desperately not to show.

 "We are both cowards," she thought somewhat dejectedly.

 "Yes, Miss Granger?" Percy asked casually.

 "Some of the other students and I are interested in setting up a study group for the upcoming NEWTs and we were hoping that you would assist us," she said calmly.

"That is a very good idea, Miss Granger," Professor Snape nodded. He turned to the younger professor, "Professor Weasley, your workload is not too onerous that it could not accommodate such a worthwhile request?"

 Hermione had the distinct impression that they were not simply talking about the study group.

 Percy nodded gravely.

 "Yes, I would be glad to help you with the study group...all of you," he added, almost as an afterthought.

 "Thank you, Professor Weasley, and you too, Professor Snape," she smiled at both of them and walked back to her table.

 Professor Snape watched her sit down with her friends and quietly tell the others about her success. As they chattered excitedly, a pensive expression appeared on her face and she focussed on a forkful of mashed potatoes that she had just picked up from her plate...her mind was obviously elsewhere. He smiled somewhat and turned to Percy. Percy was chewing a chocolate biscuit absently as he watched Hermione.

 "You remind me of me when I was your age," he thought with a rueful smile, "I just pray that you have more sense and make better decisions than I did."