Winter and Spring; Darkness and Light

Winter. A seemingly dead season, things die to be reborn once again in the spring, but I find it comforting, even peaceful. It shows that even in nature there are dark periods before new being and new birth, new beginnings. So much like myself, and so promising.

As for the dark stage, I have been there, and as for the light, I have found it. For Harry Potter is my spring, my new existence and my former "family" and life, well, that was my winter. I traveled through the dark, the torture and maltreatment, in order and only to reach the light, the peace and love; something I never experienced before until now.

How could I have known that the one person I would have given the world to see him to his downfall would be the reason I would give the world to be with? I certainly didn't think it was possible for a Malfoy to love, yet Potters have a way of breaking rules. And to think that it all started in winter, the darkest time of my life, that my spring, my light, my Harry came to wipe away the darkness and shed some light, and more importantly love, into my miserable and useless life.

**memory**

It was a freezing day, probably coldest of the year, and I sat by the lake, commiserating and wallowing in self-disgust. I dreaded the winter holidays, for that meant I had to return to the Manor and to my father, not to mention I had done it again, betrayed my feeling and childishly fought with Potter, again. Why I did it? I have no idea; it was as if it was just a trait of mine, a ritual, which I had grown accustomed to.

I was sick of it, not only because the look in his eyes when I hurt him nearly bore my heart out, but because it showed I was so much like my father at the same time. It was time for a change; but how? How could I change the way of the Malfoy's, it had basically been set in stone since the beginning of time.

Another thing was bothering me, what were my feelings for Potter, or Harry? Suddenly whenever I hurt him, I immediately wanted to pick him up, apologized with deepest sympathy for everything, and hear him forgive me; I wanted him to love me and I wanted to love him. But why? Why in the wizarding world did I want my arch-enemy to love me? It seemed right, it seemed perfect, it seemed I needed it to live. I wanted to unlock the chains that bound me, my father, my family, my heritage, my ways, and Harry was the key to there undoing.

I heard footsteps approach from behind; the crunching of fresh snow gave them away. I didn't want to turn to see who they were, mainly because I wanted for whom ever it was to go away. As they grew closer and showed no sign of shifting direction or stopping, I figured who ever it was was approaching me for a reason and I decided to turn. I looked and was shocked by what I saw; there before me stood Harry Potter.

"Malfoy, what's going on?"

Wow, were my emotions really that easy to read?

"What do you mean, Potter?

There it was again, I spat his name, as if its very being was poison in my mouth.

"There is something different about you? I just can't figure it out." The words left his lips and there seemed to be a hint of concern and apprehension attached to them.

"What do you mean? Explain please."

I said please. You have to begin somewhere don't you?

"Earlier, when we got into our usual quarrel, it was different. I don't know, the usual bitter hate wasn't there. Don't tell me you didn't notice it, I know you did. There wasn't that fierce spark in your eye, it was if you had simply fallen into a routine, like you didn't really mean what you said, you just got used to saying it.

Was wonder boy also a mind reader? Instead of my usual bitter and now concealing remark, I simply stared at him for a long while, examining him, trying to figure him out.

"The name's Draco."

"What?"

"The name is Draco, you never used it so I assumed you didn't know it. I believe it's always been rat-boy, ferret-face, or just Malfoy, and I am beginning to think that we are out growing our childish nick-names."

There was an awkward pause, then a slight laugh and smile from us both. There we sat on the rocks, by the lake, being steadily cover with ever thickening snow and freezing our arses off and no one seemed to notice. Foolish, yes, yet it was the beginning of an inseparable duo.

What came next though was totally unexpected. We looked each other straight in the eye, no one daring to break eye contact for what seemed like hours or even days, and then Harry spoke.

"Malfoy...or should I say Draco, I have been waiting patiently, now kiss me."

The words didn't register in my brain, and I simply acted on instinct but before I knew what was even going on I found my lips pressed lightly against his soft, pale ones. And for being freezing outside, I could not tell, for a warmth spread throughout my body like never before, and for the first time I felt loved.

Slowly but surely our mouths opened wider and we allowed each other to explore. Our kiss deepened and after what seemed like an eternity of waltzing on the heavens, we found each other lying beside the other in the fresh, white snow. No one moved, no one spoke, we just listened to the others breathing and felt the others warmth.

My lips tingled as I tried to recall every memory of the moment and lock it away in my heart forever. Little did I know many more kisses like that would be in my future, but none would be as deep, as special, as passionate and as real as that one, not only my first kiss, but my first taste of love.

"Well Harry, it's cold out, people will start to get worried."

"Cold? I can't tell, I feel warm just being next to you."

"Then we will stay."

We stayed locked in each others arms for countless hours, ignoring the cold, the passing time and the world around us and only focusing on each other.

**end memory**

It's almost funny how a first kiss can have such a lasting impression, but being that it was my first taste of love, my first taste of emotion, it earned a place in my soul forever. The trials and tribulation we faced from our peers and elders we faced together and we overcame all, even my father. It wasn't easy, but it was done.

Now, on my tenth anniversary of being with Harry, I realize how lucky I am and I also think what I may have turned out like if Harry wouldn't have so boldly entered my life. Things could be so different, so wrong, but I like it just as it is, because it's perfect.

Just when you think you have hit rock bottom, something or someone will come along and pick you up. Just when you think the winter is never ending, the birds will sing, the plants will bloom and your spring will come around, just like Harry did for me.