Muggles and Marauders

Muggles and Marauders

Chapter One

Narrator (Disembodied Voice of the Author): Hmm...they should be arriving in a moment...

*The snapping of twigs disrupts the quiet of the forest, and soon James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter stumble into a clearing*

Disembodied Voice of the Author (hereafter referred to as DVA): Ahh, good, there you are!

*The four Marauders jump and look frantically around for the source of the voice*

Sirius: Who's that? Where are you? *looks panicky*

DVA: *sighs* Relax, you have all been brought here for a little test.

Peter: Oh no, I'm not good at tests...

Remus: *eagerly* What kind of test?

James: Moony, you are such a loser sometimes.

*Remus sticks his tongue out at James*

DVA: AHEM! *thunder claps overhead*

*The Marauders shut up instantly*

DVA: Now that I've got your attention...You will be going on a little expedition in the... *dramatic pause*...Muggle world!

Marauders: *groan*

DVA: *thunder claps again* Now, now, none of that. You haven't heard the best part yet! You will be going on your little adventure WITHOUT YOUR WANDS!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

Marauders: *scream like little girls*

Sirius: *regaining composure* And may I ask WHY we are being sent on this little 'adventure'?

James: And why we have to go without our wands?

DVA: That is classified information that I cannot reveal to you at this point in time.

Remus: But can't you just tell us, please?

DVA: IT IS NOT FOR YOU TO KNOW!!!!!!! *massive thunder claps and the sky darkens*

*The Marauders are shocked into silence*

DVA: Ahem...sorry about that...I just lose control sometimes when I'm dealing with snot-nosed kids.

James: *indignantly* We're not kids! We're 17 and in our final year at Hogwarts, I'll have you know!

DVA: Fine then, snot-nosed teenagers. Whatever. Anyways, if you'll just hand over your wands to my little assistant...

*A fluffy pink bunny rabbit hops into the clearing and stops in front of the Marauders*

Sirius: *stifling a laugh* This is your assistant?

Peter: I think she's cute.

DVA: YES, this is my assistant. HIS name is Mr. Bonko.

*The Marauders look as if they are going to pop from holding in their laughter*

DVA: Now, will you all please give your wands to Mr. Bonko?

*The Marauders hesitate*

DVA: NOW!!! *thunder claps*

*They all place their wands in Mr. Bonko's outstretched paws*

James: There, happy now? Mr. Bonko has our wands.

DVA: Good. Now empty your pockets of all magical items you have with you and give them to Mr. Bonko.

*The Marauders grudgingly empty their pockets of all Dungbombs, Stink Pellets, Fizzing Whizbees, and other such items*

DVA: Thank you. I assure you that all your things will be returned to you later. Thank you, Mr. Bonko, that will be all.

*Mr. Bonko hops away with all the stuff*

DVA: Okay, now you are ready to embark on your quest!

Remus: It's a quest?

Sirius: What do we have to do?

Peter: I hope it's not too hard...

DVA: You will be given instructions as you progress. Your first task is to find your way out of the woods and into London. Absolutely NO MAGIC allowed! Mr. Bonko and I will be keeping an eye on you. Now go.

James: Well, this sucks.

Sirius: I agree. And that voice was kind of bitchy, wasn't she?

*Sirius gets zapped by a little lightening bolt*

Remus: I think she heard you, man.

Sirius: *smoking slightly* Ouch.

Peter: Well, lets get out of here before she zaps us all.

*They begin to trudge through the woods*