Prelude in c# Minor

He watched as the dementors led Sirius past. He forced himself to watch as they dragged the traitor, the murderer, into the chained chair. He was bound and gagged, and the golden chains wrapped around his arms and legs seemed to make no difference to him. Remus steeled himself; he was positive that Sirius would make some sort of plea, some desperate entreatment to him, and he wasn't sure if he could resist.

In all honesty, the grim, defiant man before him hardly looked like Sirius Black. His robes were creased and unwashed; a five o'clock shadow lingered on his cheeks; his hair was unkempt, and what was left of his natural tan had faded to a sort of pale, mottled amber. There was nothing left in his eyes, no laughter, no mischief...he regarded them all with a hollow sort of defiance, the defiance of a man who has nothing left to lose. He stared straight ahead at Barty Crouch, not even looking to the side where the Order sat.

"Let it be known that on this 31^st day of November, 1981, Sirius Black(hereafter called the condemned) is sentenced to a life sentence in Azkaban Prison. The condemned is convicted on two counts of indirect murder, thirteen counts of direct murder, one count of treason, and one count of felony Dark Magic." Crouch's voice was seemingly steady, but the undercurrent of rage and hate was unmistakable to someone like Remus, who could sense powerful emotion a mile away. Remus couldn't listen as Crouch described the terrible events of that Halloween night. His eyes were fixed on Sirius.

Perhaps he imagined it, but a faint flicker of something shifted across Sirius's face as Crouch described the murder of Peter Pettigrew. Remorse? Anger? Shame? He dismissed them all. Sirius Black could not have felt those things, not after betraying James, Lily, and poor little Harry, all in cold blood. He tore his eyes from Sirius and sneaked a glance at Dumbledore. The look on Dumbledore's face would've broken his heart, had it not already been shattered to pieces. Dumbledore was regarding Sirius with a mix of anger, grief, and bone-crushing disappointment, as though he blamed himself for Sirius going awry. The rest of the Order was silent, stiff as Crouch finished his speech.

Sirius had always been the one person who could make them laugh, even in the midst of a war. Sirius could charm a smile out of just about everybody. He'd buy drinks for people, invite them over for dinner, and make even Moody forget momentarily about Voldemort. And all that had been cover-up for his treachery.

"Take him away, and may he rot in Azkaban," spat Crouch at the end of his speech. The dementors moved forward to take him away, but Dumbledore suddenly stood up and raised a hand.

"If I may, Barty?" he said mildly, with no trace of emotion on his face or in his voice.

"I want to get this over with, Dumbledore," said Crouch sourly. Dumbledore inclined his head slightly, but he did not sit down.

"You have already denied a trial to this man. Will you also deny him a final statement to the Wizengamot and additional witnesses?" Dumbledore's tone was light, as though he was simply pointing out a mistake in Crouch's papers.

"You surely don't believe that he's innocent?" snarled Crouch. A murmur rose from all the benches as everyone turned to stare at Dumbledore.

"I believe that he deserves a chance to speak." Crouch glared wrathfully down at Sirius, but he eventually gave a short, abrupt nod. One of the dementors came forth and yanked the gag out of Sirius's mouth. Sirius choked for a brief instant before setting his mouth in a hard line, staring up at Crouch with cold indifference.

"Does the condemned have any final words before witnesses?"

Sirius said nothing for a few moments. When he opened his mouth to speak, Remus flinched as though the man had opened his mouth for a killing curse. He took several deep breaths to compose himself before looking back at Sirius. Sirius was not looking at him, or at Crouch, but at Dumbledore.

"I regret that things turned out this way..." His face was set in stone, but Remus could see pangs of intense emotion in his eyes. He paused and turned his eyes on Remus. Remus stared coldly back; this man had killed Lily, James, Harry, poor Peter, and a street full of Muggles. This man had destroyed so many lives and broken so many people. This man was a monster, a villain who deserved Azkaban and worse.

But as his eyes met Sirius's, he couldn't convince himself that Sirius was guilty, try as he might. Sirius's eyes betrayed no emotion to everyone but Remus; he could see Sirius fighting back tears. Remus bit his lip and struggled to remember what Sirius had done, but it was all lost as soon as he spoke.

"...and I would undo it if I could." Remus nearly bit through his lip as Sirius's eyes bore into him. Time froze as they stared at one another, and Remus realized with a thrill of horror and fear that he would never be able to fully believe Sirius's guilt. Not with him staring at him like that. Not with the dark jolts of intensity that seemed to shake both of them to the foundations of their souls. Despite all that had happened, he could still read Sirius's heart, through his eyes.

And what he read was fear. He had never seen Sirius show such fear until today. Fear, despair, and fury, but mainly fear. Terror of the dementors, fear of everything that had ever existed in the darkest corners of his mind.

Remus couldn't bear it any longer. He dropped his gaze, allowing himself just one moment of weakness. In that moment, he managed to banish everything Sirius had shown him to the back of his mind. Sirius was a murderer. A traitor who didn't care who or what got in his way. He looked back at Sirius...but the other man had already turned his gaze back on Crouch.

"I never appreciated the right to a fair trial until I was denied one. Let that stand as a testament to our justice system. Things would've been very different." His voice and eyes were now hard with defiance, anger, and ice, all directed toward Crouch.

Crouch didn't even blink. "Exceptions are made for monsters such as yourself, Black. Take him away." The dementors stuffed the gag back into his mouth and hauled him roughly to his feet. Try as he might, Remus couldn't keep his eyes off of Sirius. The wolf within him didn't understand what was happening, didn't realize how Padfoot had become such an abomination.

Sirius turned to look at him. Remus could feel Moony crying out for his Padfoot; he quenched it with icy self-hatred. Why was he so damn weak? He gave Sirius the most blank, indifferent look he could muster--

Sirius was no longer bothering to suppress his thoughts. A wave of tears and dark emotion flooded his eyes, and Remus felt his gaze falter. He stared back, unable to believe what he was seeing, trying to make sense out of it--

One of the dementors wrenched on Sirius's arm, dragging him away. The connection broke, and Remus fell back. He said nothing, but he suddenly felt a gentle hand on his shoulder. He turned around to see Dumbledore, regarding him with a mixture of concern and pain. They watched together as the door slammed on Sirius.

"Wizengamot dismissed," came Crouch's distant voice. Remus barely noticed the jousling as he made his way out of the courtroom. Sirius was dead to him, a monster who would've have killed him too if he, Remus, had tried to stop him. He killed James and Lily...he killed James and Lily. He repeated it over and over to himself, convincing himself that it was the truth. He killed fifteen people in one night. He's not my Padfoot anymore. He's a monstrosity, and he deserves life in Azkaban.

"Remus?" He turned around; Molly Weasley, Arthur Weasley, and several other Order members were standing behind him, looking at him with a mix of concern and apprehension.

"Yes?" He was surprised at how calm his voice sounded.

"Er--would you like to come over for dinner tonight?" asked Molly tentatively. He nearly laughed at the normality of her statement.

"No thanks, Molly. I've...got some work to finish, and I've lost the better half of a day here." He smiled politely and made his solitary way up the stairs...away from the past. Subconsciously, he knew he could never forget the look in Sirius's eyes as they led him away. Subconsciously, Moony knew his Padfoot was innocent, even if Remus Lupin convinced himself of Sirius Black's guilt.

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He didn't hear any of it. He had so deadened himself to any senses that he barely noticed as Crouch read his long speech. All he could feel was a hollow sense of loss, a sense that the dementors only made worse. He kept his face as eyes blank as possible, staring back up at Crouch with what looked like cold indifference. In truth, he had not the strength to summon any other emotion.

But when he heard the name of the true traitor, he felt a brief spasm of fury course through him, bringing him back to the present. He looked around at the nameless, faceless people, careful not to show them anything. If they wanted a heartless murderer, that was what they'd get. He knew he had no chance of convincing them, so all he could do was scorn them.

Two faces on the far right side of the room leapt out at him in painful detail among the sea of black robes and grayish-pink blobs. The first jolted him back to himself with a heart-breaking wrench. The sparkling light in Dumbledore's eyes was gone, and although Sirius didn't dare look at him directly, he could see the pain and disappointment in the old wizard's eyes. He didn't even want to look at Remus, because he knew all he would see was rejection.

"Take him away, and may he rot in Azkaban," spat Crouch suddenly. Sirius felt a wave of cold numbness sweep over him as the dementors approached, but suddenly, he was aware of Dumbledore standing up and speaking.

"If I may, Barty?"

"I want to get this over with, Dumbledore," said Crouch sourly. Hell knows you do, you fucking son of a bitch, thought Sirius bitterly.

"You have already denied a trial to this man. Will you also deny him a final statement to the Wizengamot and additional witnesses?" Despite himself, Sirius felt a tiny ray of hope break through his despair.

"You surely don't believe that he's innocent?" Everyone turned to stare at Dumbledore. Everyone except Sirius, who continued to look up at Crouch.

"I believe that he deserves a chance to speak." The brief moment of hope broke. Dumbledore's voice was calm, authoritative, not pleading for Sirius's innocence. He felt the gag tugged roughly out of his mouth. He took a tentative breath and choked; he had been so long since he'd been without a gag.

"Does the condemned have any final words before witnesses?" Sirius desperately wanted to plead his innocence, to reveal that Peter had betrayed them, but he still retained his old pride. Instead of shouting at Crouch, he turned his gaze toward Dumbledore.

Dumbledore showed no trace of emotion as Sirius spoke in a harsh, ragged voice that he barely recognized as his own. "I regret that things turned out this way," he said quietly. He could feel the mask of indifference slipping from his face, but he made no attempt to put it back on. He was determined not to look at Remus, but something drew his wayward eyes to the one person who could utterly break him.

"...and I would undo it if I could." He fought tears as Remus's eyes met his own; Remus bit his lip, but other than that, Sirius could see nothing in him for a few seconds that felt like several eternities. Please, Moony! Please see the truth...please see that it wasn't me...it wasn't me...

Something akin to fear flickered in Remus's eyes. Sirius grasped on it, willing Remus to see the truth, but Remus suddenly dropped his gaze. Sirius reeled as the brief connection broke, feeling as though he'd been slapped in the face. He quelled his emotions, turning back to Crouch.

"I never appreciated the right to a fair trial until I was denied one. Let that stand as a testament to our justice system. Things would've been very different." His tone was now cold and cruel, but he heard it as though from a distance. Remus had not believed him...Remus also believed him to be a killer...

"Exceptions are made for monsters such as yourself, Black. Take him away." Crouch's voice came out of a fog. Sirius didn't resist as the gag was shoved back in his mouth, but he couldn't repress a shudder as clammy, putrid hands grabbed his arms, hauling him toward the door. It was simple enough, just like any door in Hogwarts, but for Sirius, it was the point of no return. A hot desperation rose in him as the dementors dragged him toward the dark arch.

In one last ditch attempt, he looked at Remus as they walked past. There was nobody home behind Remus's blank gaze. Moony, I'm sorry for suspecting you, I'm sorry for everything! I'm sorry for being such a fucking prick...I'm sorry for not seeing that Peter was the spy. He did it, Moony. He killed them. It wasn't me! Believe me, Moony. I would never betray Lily and James. I would die before betraying them--

Disbelief, fear, and confusion suddenly filled Remus's eyes, bursting from behind the shutters. But in that moment, one of the dementors hauled him forward, and the connection broke. Sirius lifted his head as the dark archway consumed him. He had done all he could, and he could only hope that Moony, if not Remus, knew the truth. The wolf could always tell what Padfoot felt; Sirius knew that Remus's inner wolf was unpredictable, but now, Moony was his last, only hope.

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Albus watched with the rest of the Order as Remus walked away, completely alone. Molly made as if to follow him, but he shook his head, and she relented. The younger man would never know how much Albus had seen in the courtroom today, and he would never know how the aged wizard had felt, looking down on what used to be one of the brightest hopes for their future.

He had vouched for Sirius's right to a trial, but Crouch had overridden him, citing emergency Ministry decree powers. He had done all he could to secure Sirius a fair hearing, but that had also been stripped from all Death Eater suspects. So in the end, all he could give Sirius was a final statement before witnesses. Albus recalled the icy indifference he'd seen in Sirius, but he knew it was merely a cover-up, just like Remus's calm courtesy.

Guilt had torn at him as Sirius looked up at him. If only he had spoken to the man more often...if only he could have done more to convince James and Lily not to make him Secret-Keeper...if only...if only...he recalled Sirius's words; "I regret that things turned out this way." Didn't all of them regret the situation?

And yet...Albus always knew to look beyond the body and into the person. He was something of a Legilimens himself, and he could tell when people were lying to him. Sirius Black had not been lying when he spoke directly to Albus. He had been sincere in his regret, if in nothing else. Was there still some good left in him? Enough to keep Harry Potter safe from him, if Voldemort should rise again and spring him from jail?

He had not expected the sentencing to bring any closure, but he had not anticipated the heavy weight that sank onto his shoulders. The look in the condemned man's eyes as he was led away was something that would need to be added to the Pensieve for further examination. And he would need to keep an eye on Remus, as well as ensuring Harry's safety and dealing with any remaining Death Eaters.

He had know the extent of the relationship between Remus and Sirius, even while the two had been blind to it themselves. James and Sirius were the best of friends and could seemingly read each other's minds, but Remus and Sirius had been able to read each other's hearts. At least, they had been able to before Sirius had turned spy for Voldemort. He sighed heavily; he had been focusing on Severus, having just acquired him as a spy against Voldemort. He had never imagined that in gaining a spy against the enemy, he would end up with a spy within the Order.

Albus shoved his memories back into his head; he would examine them later. For now, he had to return to Hogwarts and get on with the present. The past could wait. Everything he had seen today could wait...years, if need be.