Creek in Midwinter

Today is the day before I am released, from this awful place Culparrat. I feel like my life has been frozen, but still moving forward, like a creek in midwinter. I realize I chose to be here, but these two years have wreaked havoc on almost everything about me. But two weeks in Azkaban would have been worse. I chose this fate, but I wish I hadn't. I'm remembering now, back when this mess first started, and back to two years ago...

...It was a bright sunny day, when I got my idea. It was about twenty years ago, I'd say, but it's been so long I've lost track. James and Lily were my friends, and I was delighted to hear about their new baby boy that had been anticipated for so long. They had decided to name him Harry, James's middle name. Right from when I first met him, I knew the little boy was special, and that he would be even more special then he was then. Even though I knew it would make them angry, I decided to record everything about his youth, and sell it when he was famous and it would make a fortune for me. I was right. He did amazing things even early, walking, talking, and even casting minor spells. With each passing day I grew more and more excited, and could hardly wait for what was to come...

Yes, I was greedy, possibly more than I am now. Prison has softened me, I think. And I was a seer too, but I hated to reveal that. I didn't want people swarming all over me the way I loved to do with people I admired in my youth. I wish I could have seen what would happen next...

...The night Lily and James Potter died was clear and perfect for spying or an attack, like the weather itself was planned for that night as well as everything else. James and Lily were at home, enjoying Lily's fabulous cooking (James enjoying her Lemon Cake the most of all), and having a fun night with a few friends, Ria and I. It was about 20 minutes before Voldemort "came calling" that I saw that he would come. I warned Ria, but we decided not to tell for some strange reason. It could have saved their lives...oh how I wish we had told them! When Voldemort did come, Ria and I transformed and flew to the windowsill, where we could escape if we needed to, but could still watch what would happen. We were too afraid to stay and help, and we thought that they were powerful enough that they wouldn't need us anyway.

Ria and Rita, we were quite a pair. We were in the same year at school, and while I was in Gryffindor, she was in Slytherin. We didn't let that keep us apart though, we were always being ridiculed and laughed at for mingling with one of them. We decided to become animagi in our 2^nd year, but it took us until our 7^th to finally master it. Ria registered herself, but I decided not to. Our friendship had blossomed when we got out of school, and we were still friends as we sat on that windowsill, watching what would happen...

...If you hadn't known James and Lily, you would have been surprised at what they did to attempt to win Voldemort over. Even though they didn't want to or mean to, they gave out the image of pampered, spoiled, rich people. But if you had, you would have been amazed that they didn't win. They were Sinniets, extremely powerful wizards. In a regular wizard's duel, they would have won hands down. But this night, this time, they didn't. Perhaps it was the stress of the fight, the surprise, and/or that they had to protect Harry as well as their selves, that lead to their terrible defeat.

The second James noticed, he tried to make Lily leave with Harry, and he would follow, but Lily simply refused to leave. She wouldn't let her wonderful husband, who had taken her muggle born self into his pure blood family, to die alone, even if he was trying to protect her. She wanted to die with him, both working together to protect their whole family. They put as many protective wards as they could, which wasn't much, around the room and Harry, and waited tensely for him to come, James quietly placing numerous wards around his wife and son, so they couldn't move around in the five feet of the wards. It was his idea of protection, and it might have worked...

When Voldemort came, he simply unlocked the door and strode right in. He went straight to James, and seemed to be making a deal with him, we couldn't hear what was happening exactly. Lily was clutching Harry in terror, trying to decide between backing up from this terrifying creature, or striding up to him and getting in on what he was saying, and help James attack. She was simply frozen, having not decided which. We heard a few words though, and I think that Voldemort wanted James to be his head death eater, his right hand man. If he accepted, he would be rewarded beyond his wildest dreams, living with his wife and son who would train to become death eaters as well (James could surpass the training, as he was an auror, and knew so much about it). If he declined, all three of them would be killed.

James responded not by negotiating, like a man planning to run for minister of magic should have, but by blasting a powerful spell straight at Voldemort's head. Voldemort ducked, but the spell was still strong enough that when it brushed his hood it swept it off his face, and made him stumble backward with surprise as well as force, he hadn't expected them to put up much of a fight. His head was a terrible sight, pale white with a eerie green tinge, tiny slits for the nostrils and mouth, and large, pure white eyes, like he had no pupils. He quickly covered it back up, but the sight was still horrifying to all who saw it. That started the battle, and Voldemort responded by sending a powerful spell his way. They continued like that for about ten minutes, blocking and avoiding each others spells, with no injuries for either man (if you could call Voldemort a man). Though nothing had really happened yet, Voldemort knew that if he didn't do something quickly, he would be dead, rather than them. He formulated a plan, and slowly edged the duel to the left. After a short while of this, he darted around James and fired "Ava Kevra" straight at Lily. She whirled around from soothing Harry, and saw the flash of lime green magic shatter a small vase, and then knock her unconscious. Ava Kevra was a spell that would put a person out, shattering anything that got in it's path on the way to the target, including protective wards, much like Avada Kedevra. It blasted straight through the vase and the wards, but the wards were so strong that it's power was weakened, and only knocked her out for about ten seconds. But it was still enough. The moment James saw the spell hit her, he dropped everything and let his guard down to run to her side. Voldemort hit him with Avada Kedevra in the back, in mid stride. He slumped to the floor, dead.

Lily flickered open her eyes just in time to see James fall flat on his face. She let out a giggle, as the sight would have been comical if you hadn't known what was going on. But when James didn't get up, or even try to move, she realized he was dead, and let out a terrified gasp.

Voldemort approached her, smiling evilly in the depths of his hood. Lily scooted back, closer to James, still too weak from Ava Kevra to stand up and run. She ran one hand through James's freshly washed, coal black hair that still had the slight warmth of life, and with the other clutched Harry with all her might. Voldmort inched even closer, and Lily stopped trying to flee, and looked up into that cloak.

"Ahh, you are paying attention now...good..." Voldemort crooned. His voice was smooth and snakelike, but there was no comfort in it.

"What do you want of my son and I?" Lily managed to say in confidence. She was terrified, but he was like a horse, and she didn't want him to let him sense that she was afraid, he would use it against her. She could sense that she was going to die, but she wasn't going to just go. She wanted to die fighting, like her beloved husband had, protecting her family.

"Why Lily, isn't it obvious? I had to kill James, he would have never submitted to my power and law. He was too good. But Lily, you and your son could still join me in peace. You would live with your son, and possibly work your way up to empress of darkness, having more power than you could imagine. Yes, you and I, ruling together..."

Voldemort rambled on about what the future would hold, and how she and her son would suffer if she declined. Lily knew that the good things he said were lies, she would live, but as a slave to darkness. She knew there was only one thing left to do, and she wanted to do it desperately. She placed a hand on tiny Harry's back, and whispered "inquam devoveo mei anima namque to acito vivo " just loud enough that she and Harry could hear it, but Voldemort couldn't. Immediately she felt herself growing weaker, as her life flowed through her fingertips into Harry, protecting him against anything that she could. Lily could almost feel her fiery red hair dulling, her healthy complexion turning pasty white. Finally, when she was almost completely drained, she lifted her head up and said, as loudly and clearly as she could, "No."

"What? Lily, did I hear you say no? Have you been listening to what that means?"

"Yes. I don't care, I will never join you, I will never join the dark side."

"Fine. Lily, goodbye." Voldemort shot a jet of death right at her, which she excepted willingly, saying "vivo meus filius" and simply accepting death, knowing she had done all she could have. Shr fell from her sitting position to a sprawled arrangement on the floor, her hair spreading out every way, and she simply looked to be peacefully asleep. Voldemort rounded on Harry, and well, the rest is history.

Ria and I fled from the windowsill into a nearby tree, and transformed, immediately discussing what had just happened. Ria got angry with me for not trying to help, and not trying to make her help as well. We simply transformed, and flew in opposite directions, I going unknowingly to the alley where Sirius had cornered Pettigrew. I watched as Sirius confronted him, about why he betrayed them, and how they might be dead because of him. Oh, how I longed to come right out and tell him that they were gone, and help him finish off that dirty little rat, but I couldn't bring myself to. Peter somehow managed to dart out around Sirius, and yell to the whole street that Sirius had betrayed Lily and James, blew up the street when he saw Sirius coming at him, and sped down the sewer, transformed. I was the only one who saw, being how high I was hovering.

Life continued in a fairly normal pattern from then on, but not really all that normal. Harry's extraordinary progress was stunted, and he stopped talking, giggling, and even smiling and walking under the Dursley's poor care. I moved into a house nearby, and babysat him often, when Arabella couldn't, poor thing. I also frequently spied on him as a beetle, though I had several close calls at being squished by a broom handle or something else. I considered just settling down and abandoning the whole idea, but I couldn't do it. Every bit might be necessary for my future fortune. Harry grew older, and he started at the public school, where he was constantly teased by Dudley and almost everyone else about his skinny stature, his broken glasses, his untidy hair, his scar, and almost everything else about him. Arabella was forbidden to reassure him, for some obscure reason Dumbledore had set, and I of course, naturally couldn't, it might change things.

When Harry got his letter from Hogwarts, I was there. I had followed him everywhere, careful to keep a close eye on him and what happened so I could record it. I counted every single one of those letters, and noted all they had for breakfast, everything that probably wouldn't be important, but you never know. I had two file cabinets full of notes that I had taken over the last ten years. When Harry actually got to open one of his letters, I was there, lounging on a handkerchief on a bookshelf. I followed him everywhere, though I must admit it was rather difficult following him everywhere during his first year of school. It was such a success I decided that I would keep on doing it, through some of the summer, and every day at school, for the rest of his school days. I figured whatever that would make him so special would happen at school, and I could release it a little bit after he graduated, a documentary of his life. But that changed when his second year summer began, and I was beginning to go through my extensive notes, which had grown to over four and a half cabinets full over his first year. I discovered that most of them were boring and useless, and I narrowed my notes down to one stuffed cabinet. I reread them and reread them, and finally realized that the magical public just wouldn't be very happy with this (or so I thought). I decided to elaborate a bit, and put together all my notes into background, and a story that I would sell to the muggles. It was a perfect plan, and I would still write a biography of him when he was older. After an entire summer of rewriting and stretching the truth to be almost believable for the muggles, but still seeming like fiction to both muggle and wizard alike. Finally I had it completed, and sent it off to many muggle publishing companies under the pen name J. K. Rowling. All but Bloomsbury declined it, and I sold it and had it published. I was astounded at what happened with the muggles. My version of Harry's first year was a huge hit, and then when it was sold to the Americans...I was simply shocked at what success I had. I decided to keep doing it, one for each year, until he graduated. While writing them, I decided to apply for a job at the Daily Prophet as a columnist. I got the job, and made myself a reputation as Rita Skeeter, Reporter. I also had my twin Joanne pose as the muggle J. K. Rowling for me, so I could keep researching, while J. K. kept being seen in public.

Everything was going great until Harry's fourth year, in which I decided to include myself in the books, the star columnist. Hermione could have never caught me, though she was close to figuring it out. My newest, longest book was a hit, and unfortunately for me, some of the wizarding world read my series. They turned me in, and I was put into prison. I was sentenced to either two weeks in Azkaban, or two years in this place Culparrat. I chose Culparrat, who knew what condition I'd be in when I came out of that place? Now tomorrow I am released, and I can publish Harry's 5^th year, but discreetly of course. I will catch up with Joanne, and together we will write the manuscript again, and I can bring back my career.