Somewhere I Belong

All this time I can't believe I couldn't see
kept in the dark but you were there in front of me
I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems
got to open my eyes to everything
without a thought without a voice without a soul
don't let me die here
there must be something more
bring me to life

(Wake me up)
Wake me up inside
(I can't wake up)
Wake me up inside
(Save me)
call my name and save me from the dark
(Wake me up)
bid my blood to run
(I can't wake up)
before I come undone
(Save me)
save me from the nothing I've become.

- "Bring Me To Life" by Evanesence

Draco was let out of the Infirmary two days later. He felt he could have left the day after his little incident, but Madam Pomfrey, being the person she was, refused. Draco didn't care if everyone found out about him "going for a swim", but they couldn't know the other part. Especially the Slytherins. They would most likely question where he went, and he would just tell them he came down with something. They couldn't know. They wouldn't understand. They wouldn't be as accepting as he would have liked because after all, they were Slytherins. He went down to the Great Hall for dinner the day he was let out. Madam Pomfrey kept him in there as long as she could. She didn't think he was well enough to rejoin his fellow classmates. She knew, after the first day, he was ok physically, but it was his mental health that was questionable. After all, he'd jumped into the lake, without reason, in the middle of December. The more peculiar part was the girl. She was there when he'd jumped in, and she'd gone in after him, but she denied knowing him at all. She denied having spoken to him before he'd jumped in, or knowing him prior to it. Madam Pomfrey couldn't really accuse or blame anyone, but she knew something wasn't holding up.

Draco took his usual seat at the table, and joined in a conversation. Within a few minutes of him sitting down, it would be a well known fact that Draco had 'come down with something' and stayed in the Infirmary for two days. There was no further questioning or doubt. He didn't want anyone to know, and he was sure Alex wouldn't tell anyone. He never cared so much what people thought about him, but his pride was at stake. He couldn't make clear why, but he had a desperation inside him to tell someone the truth about what happened. He fought it though, bit his lip slightly, and tried not to look across the room.

Alex had decided to skip dinner that night, but soon changed her mind when Professor McGonagall caught her wandering off in the opposite direction and asked her where she was going. She didn't want anyone to intervene on her walking around when she needed to. Her walks were her only source of sanity. They were her escape, but lately Draco had been escaping with her. She walked through the doors, sat down and picked at some food. She was tired of being alone all the time. She was getting used to Draco's company, and now she wanted him to be there all the time. She just needed someone to talk to. Anyone.

Days passed, and Alex and Draco had basically avoided each other. They were caught up in everything else to really talk or anything. Christmas holiday had begun, and those who were going home had begun leaving. Draco didn't want to go home, and he'd said so in a letter to his father. His father was angry, but he allowed him to stay at Hogwarts. Alex didn't really have anyone to go home to. Her father worked over the Christmas break, so she'd be alone anyway. She decided she wanted to be alone with more people around, as weird as that sounded.

"Harry, where's Ron?" Hermione asked. She was staying also because she planned to go to the Masquerade ball.

"I think he's saying goodbye to Ginny," Harry said. Ginny wanted to go home to see Bill and Charlie, but Ron also wanted to go to the ball. He and Hermione were going together, although it hadn't been verbalized yet. Harry had been asked by Lavender, and he'd immediately accepted. He wasn't going to be picky, because then he'd be alone. He was looking through a book about quidditch he'd gotten from Sirius as an early Christmas present.

Alex had thought long and hard about the ball. Practically the whole school was going, and she wasn't. Inside she wanted to, but she didn't want people to see her. She liked being hidden. Blending in was something she did, and she became so used to it, she didn't think she could live without it. Draco had told Pansy he'd go with her. She'd been bugging him a lot about it so he just gave in. He didn't want everyone to wonder who he was going to take if he wasn't taking Pansy.

The day of the dance had come, and everyone was busy getting ready. The decorations were being hung, and the girls spent all day in their dorms. Everything for Alex had been completely normal. She'd spent an hour in her dorm, just sitting and thinking. Something was rising up inside her. She wanted to go even worse now that the time had come.

"Even if I did want to go, what would I wear?" she asked herself aloud. She stood frustrated, and headed to the common room. She opened the door to go, and there was something in front of her door. She picked it up, and held it in her hands. It was rectangular and soft, and wrapped in some kind of thick paper. It had a note tied to it.

Alex,

I know you couldn't come home this Christmas, but I heard about the ball. I know you're not the type of person who goes to those things, but it might be fun. Remember, you only live once.

Love,

Dad

The letter echoed in her head, especially that one line. You only live once...you only live once... She knew what she was going to do.

She opened the package and stared at the robes inside. Her eyes went wide. She began getting ready nervousness building in her stomach. The time had come, and the students had begun to make their way to the Great Hall.

"Hey, Harry, wait up," Ron said jogging to catch up with Harry.

"Where's 'Mione?" Harry asked.

"She's already down there, I guess. She wasn't upstairs," Ron said. He found her though, and he stared at her in awe. She'd smoothed her hair again, and she was wearing gold robes. Ron just stared at her. He didn't know what to say.

"Why aren't you two wearing your masks?" Hermione asked, smiling slightly at Ron's awkwardness.

"We have them," Harry said holding his up. He wore robes of a deep blue. They all entered the hall together, and Harry soon found Lavender. She wore silky purple robes, and a mask with matching purple feathers. Mostly everyone wore masks with their robes. Some of them were themed costumes, done very elegantly, and others were plain. Draco entered wearing black, his favorite color, and a mask that looked like that of the Phantom of the Opera. Pansy was by his side in dark silver robes, and a fancy porcelain doll mask. Draco looked around, somewhat hoping Alex would just show up, but he knew she wouldn't.

A few minutes later, Hermione saw a girl enter. She was alone, but she walked in behind a group of people. She wore gleaming white robes, and a white sparkly mask to match. She wore gloves over her hands that went to her elbow of the same pure white material. She looked around, and blended into the crowd of others who were talking and chatting excitedly. Hermione couldn't quite identify who she was, but shrugged, and went on her way. Everyone began dancing, and Alex sat down at a table, watching. She couldn't find Draco, mostly because of the number of people, but because she was disrupted in her search.

"Excuse me, would you like to dance?" a boy asked her. She didn't know who he was, and he didn't know who she was, so she accepted. He was only a bit taller than her, and his voice was unfamiliar. They danced, and she noticed some people staring at her. She had to admit, she was a bit unusual. The boy began to talk to her.

"So what house are you in?" he asked

"Ravenclaw. And you?" she replied.

"Gryffindor. I'm Seamus Finnigan," he said. The mask he was wearing muffled his voice slightly. "Who are you?" he asked.

"Well if I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise. Will you excuse me Seamus?" she said before getting lost in the crowd. She smiled to herself, having kept him in suspense. She was comfortable with people not being able to identify her and judge her. She found the table she'd been sitting at and she sat down again. She liked watching all the other people dancing and having the fun she would have if she wasn't so insecure.

Draco was also sitting. Pansy had decided to go with Draco so she could make a seventh year, she'd been chasing, jealous. It didn't seem to be working because every time she tried to talk to him, he'd ignore her. Draco got bored and stood.

"Where are you going? Are you leaving me all alone?" Pansy asked loudly to get the boy's attention.

"As a matter of fact, yes, I'm bored. I'll be back when you're done throwing yourself at him," he said cynically, gesturing toward the boy. Pansy's eyes went wide and she stared at Draco with fury.

He smirked and said, "He's ignoring you anyway," and walked away. He stared around the hall for someone. Not anyone in particular, but anyone he could just dance with for a little while, and relieve him of his boredom. He spotted a girl in white robes staring into space. He decided to go have some fun.