Somewhere I Belong

Tired of walkin round
head down lost & found
victimized by a prize that ain't worth keepin
feelin alone
address unknown
where do u go when the clouds start creepin
- "Burning In Me" by Lindsay Pagano

The students made their way back to the castle. Alexandra watched from her dorm window as they ran up the path. She saw Harry, Ron, and Hermione. They were walking slowly, their faces wore smiles from the time they'd spent in Hogsmeade. She shrugged and decided to go to dinner. She shut the door behind her and walked down to the Great Hall. She wasn't in a hurry, she just needed some quiet time to think. She walked through the large doors and took her usual seat at the end of the table. She listened to the other students explaining what they did on their outing. She wished now, more than ever, that she'd gone too.

Draco was too puzzled to eat. He sat in front of a glowing fire in the Slytherin Common Room watching the flames, and trying to make sense of what had happened earlier in the library. She had nerve to think what she did, but he knew where she was coming from. He didn't understand why she had an effect on him. She made him think about things he never had before, and that's what was so bewildering. He didn't love her or anything, but she was just... different.

The next day Alex woke early, and went to breakfast. She didn't want another run in with Draco. Literally. She ate her eggs carefully, and when she was finished, she took her things, and was leaving when she bumped into someone.

Harry turned around and said, "Oh, I'm really sorry. I didn't know you were behind me."

Alex smiled, "It's ok, I've been doing that a lot lately," she said more to herself than to Harry.

"Hmm? I didn't hear you," he said.

"Oh it was nothing. Sorry for hitting you," she said, and walked away. Her first class of the day was Defense Against the Dark Arts. Nobody really knew who the teacher would be that year. Alex decided she wanted a good seat, right in the back. She entered the empty classroom, searching for a teacher. 'Well, there's five minutes to class, so there should be teacher here.' She thought. A minute or two later, some Slytherins entered. Alex tensed. She forgot that she had that class with Slytherin. When some more Ravenclaws entered and filled up the seats around her, she began to calm down a bit. Draco entered a few minutes later and sat next to some girl, that Alex stared at carefully. When all the students were in the classroom, Dumbledore entered.

"Good Morning students. I would like to introduce you to your new teacher of Defense Against the Dark Arts. Some of you might know him from when he taught here a few years before." Dumbledore said before Remus Lupin entered and smiled, looking around at the familiar faces.

"As you may well know, my name is Professor Lupin. I will be teaching this class for the next few years so, those of you who don't like me will be very disappointed," Lupin said laughing. Most everyone liked him, so there was really no problem. He began to talk about what kinds of things they would be doing and learning about. Alexandra was paying little attention. She was staring at Draco and the girl that was clinging to his arm. When class was over, she was stopped by Professor Lupin.

"A word, Alexandra," He said. Alexandra thought it a bit ironic that a teacher who taught at Hogwarts for one year remembered her name better than the fellow students who she's seen her whole time there.

"Yes Professor?" She asked, hoping she wasn't in trouble.

"I noticed you weren't paying much attention to me. Is there anything wrong?" Lupin asked her.

"No, I'm just a bit tired. Sorry Professor, I'll pay more attention next time," she said. He must have seen her staring at Draco.

"All right. You may go," he said. He'd seen her staring rather assiduously at Draco Malfoy, and he was curious as to why. Alex left and went to her next class feeling silly for letting a teacher catch her staring at Draco. She didn't know why she was staring at him, she just was. Her thoughts were interrupted by hearing someone speak behind her.

"Hey, Draco, isn't that the Mudblood girl we used to make fun of?" Crabbe asked. Draco smirked at his friend, and looked at her, as she turned around.

"Yeah it is. Hey Mudblood, haven't seen you in a while," he said. The words leaving his mouth felt wrong. They stung him like they had been directed toward him. Alex stared at him astonished. She thought it funny that one of the less intelligent students would remember who she was.

"Some things never change," she said to herself more than to Draco, but he'd heard her. She walked away feeling almost betrayed. He'd told her he was talking to her in the library that day because he'd wanted to, but now he was insulting her like he used to.

Later that night, Alex decided she would go for a walk again. She didn't want to go outside because it was too cold, so she walked around the school. After walking for a while, she ended up in the Astronomy Tower. She looked up at the sky, at the stars that used to make her think of her dead mother. Now they were just stars. She thought that when she'd entered the tower that she was alone, but she soon realized she wasn't.

"Who's there? I can hear you," she said timidly. Draco stepped out of the shadows. Alex rolled her eyes, and turned back to the stars.

"We need to talk," he said going to where she was standing.

"I don't think that there's anything to talk about," she said trying to ignore him.

"But I think there is," he said grabbing her wrist so that she had to turn to face him.

She pulled her hand away and said, "No, there isn't."

"I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings," he said astonished at his words.

"What difference does it make? So your sorry, ok, great. Now stop whatever joke this is. I'm sick of it," she said.

"See, that's just it. It's not a joke. There's no big prank," he said, getting annoyed with her modesty.

"Well then what's in it for you?" she asked.

He sighed, and stepped back from her. "There's nothing in it for me. Ok? Are you happy now?" he asked frustrated. She stood silently not knowing what else to say to him. She'd never known Draco Malfoy, but she knew damn well that he never acted like this.

"Did you come all the way up here to tell me that?" she asked, her eyes searching the darkness.

"Even if I did, what's it to you? You seem to think that everyone is against you. Tell me, do you like being invisible?" he asked, not meaning the words to come out as harshly as they did.

"As a matter of fact I do. People don't like me, so I don't bother trying to fit in. I don't need to be surrounded by people to feel secure. I'm better off alone," she said stepping back over by where she'd been watching the sky. Her eyes were glued to the floor as she tried not to get emotional.

"Well then, I'm sorry for being nice," Draco said, surprising himself with his own words.

"But why bother being nice? I'm invisible, remember? What possible reason do you have for being nice to me?" she asked, looking at him now.

"I don't know," he replied solemnly. Without another word, he turned and left her alone in the Astronomy Tower, with the stars and her thoughts.