Meatball Sub

"So," he said, sitting down next to her. She was leaning back in one of those spinning chairs, her feet up on her desk. Her eyes were closed. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Meditating, you idiot," she said, though she had a smile on her face. "I smell food. Did you bring me food?"

He looked down at the small bag of sandwiches and held it under her nose until she gave in, opening her eyes and snatching the bag. She pulled out a meatball sub and ripped off the wrapper and took a bite of it, making a guttural sound in the back of her throat.

"Knew you'd like it," he said, grinning, sitting on her desk and staring at her. Her hair was bright blue today, and she was wearing black leather trousers and a form fitting Weird Sister's shirt.

"Haven't seen you since we said goodbye to Harry - why haven't you been at Grimmauld Place?" she said, through bites of her sandwich. She'd never admit it, but she had missed her fellow coworker.

"I was away - in Tibet."

"You'll have to tell Remus that, he loves Tibet. He said one day he'll get a cabin up there, you know, he likes the scenery..." She trailed off as she took another large bite of the sub.

"Met a woman, there," he said, watching her closely.

"Good for you," she said, so happily you'd never have known that they used to go out. Of course, their relationship had lasted roughly a week, and they had decided they were better off as friends.

"So now all I have to do is find you a man, and we'll be set."

Tonks choked on her sub - he clapped her on the back, but she waved him off, glaring at him. "You know hitting someone on the back while they're choking does not help?" she said moodily. "Did you get me anything to drink?" she asked.

"I was hoping you wouldn't notice," he sighed, digging into one of the pockets of his overcoat and pulling out a carton of juice, which she took from him eagerly and drank. He smiled - her eating habits still never ceased to amaze him.

"So..." he said, once she had collected herself. "You like anybody?"

"As in, date like? No, not that I know of."

"Well, let's run through the list. First, we have myself. I, naturally, am taken. Second, hmm..." He paused.

"You've certainly been thinking about this a lot, haven't you?" she remarked dryly.

"Do you mind chewing with your mouth closed?" he said, still thinking.

"Yup," she responded cheerfully, leaning back in the spinning chair again, and closing her eyes once more. The meatball sub was clutched in one hand and the juice in another.

"Dung," he said.

"You're kidding, right?" she said immediately.

"Mad-Eye?"

"He put me through Auror school, Kingsley!" she said. "It'd be like dating my professor."

"Well, he certainly cares for you. He crawled over to you at the Department of Mysteries."

"We're friends, I'd expect anyone to do the same."

"He's very wise..." The corners of Kingsley's mouth twitched.

"Yes, and old. That eye freaks me out; I couldn't deal with it all the time. Besides, he has a wooden leg..." She shrugged.

"So what?"

"How are we supposed to have sex?" she said bluntly, opening her eyes and gazing at him as though he had sprouted three heads.

Kingsley paused - she had a point. "I'm sure there are ways around that."

"Why are you asking me these questions anyway? Do I seem like the kind of person that has to be with a man?"

Kingsley gave her a look of mock shock. "Oh, Tonks, I never knew...okay, how about Hestia?"

Tonks threw a meatball at him. "You know that's not what I meant," she stated.

Kingsley tossed the meatball back at her, which she promptly caught inside her mouth. "You seem like the type of girl who would be happy and content with a man. I'm throwing out names to help you out."

"How kind," she said, sipping the juice.

"Bill Weasley? He's your type. Good looking, wild, crazy..."

"I used to fancy him so much!" Tonks said, a bit of a dreamy look on her face. "When I was at Hogwarts, I used to see how my last name would look best - Tonks Weasley, Nymphadora Weasley, Dora Weasley..."

"What about now?" Kingsley said, interested.

Tonks grimaced. "That dream came to an end when I left my notebook in the common room and he found it. Ugh. Haven't you always wondered why he avoids me at Order meetings?"

"You know, I have," said Kingsley.

The two of them fell silent for a couple of seconds, the only sounds coming from Tonks chewing and slurping down her juice.

"What about his brother then? What's his name? Chris -"

"Charlie? He's handsome and everything, but he thinks I'm odd."

"Who doesn't?"

"Oi, shut up! Besides, he's too young for me."

"By what?"

"About four years."

"The horror," said Kingsley.

"Indeed."

"Well, fine - you like older men? What about Severus Snape?"

"Kingsley!" said Tonks, disgust written in every part of her face. Kingsley laughed, and thought.

"Got one!" he said.

"You know when you shriek like that, your voice sounds really funny?" Tonks mused aloud, raising the last of her juice to her lips.

Kingsley arched an eyebrow at her. "Remus Lupin," he announced smugly.

"Yes?" said a voice.

Tonks choked on her drink.

Lupin himself was standing there now, his shabby robes looking fit to fall apart at the seams. He had a tired smile on his face.

Kingsley laughed. "Oh - nothing."

Tonks stood up at once when she had pulled herself together and said brightly, "So, Remus? What do you say to some lunch? Subs? Take out? Pizza?"

Kingsley only smirked as he watched them walk away, the back of Tonks' neck satisfactorily red.