I'll Be

Katie sat outside of the castle under a tree. She was hiding from the rain and from her friends. They reminded her too much of him. He had left only a few days ago but it was already killing her. He left the school in surprise but she knew that he was planning to leave all along. He had told her days before he had done it. She knew he was going to leave but badly wanted him to stay. She couldn't convince him to stay even if she wanted to. Or so she thought. He would have stayed in a heartbeat if she asked him to. But he wanted to go and that was his choice. So she stood back that fateful day and watched him depart in style. In a way that would be remembered forever by her and her fellow students, she watched him leave. Needless to say, she was crying when she saw him go through the open oak doors. The first time she had ever cried in front of someone other than him. Why do you have to go? she had thought that day. She never mentioned her pain to him. She didn't want to hinder him from his goal. She loved him and had to accept what he was going to do even if she didn't want him to do it. It wasn't that she didn't approve of what he was doing, it was far from that. She wanted to go with him, but she didn't, knowing that to become a Healer she would have to take her NEWT exams. She didn't want him to do it because she couldn't do it with him. I'm so selfish! How can I think that? she thought, sitting under the tree and watching the light rain fall. The rain wasn't the only water falling; as she thought back on that day tears began to join the rain, escaping from her eyes. She didn't even bother to wipe them away. Please come back. I need you to hold me again. I need you to hold me when I cry. That's when I feel safe. I can be protected in your arms. I need you.

Don't leave me in all this pain
Don't leave me out in the rain.
Come back and bring back the smile
Come and take these tears away.
I need your arms to hold me now
Life is so unkind.

Katie realized her tree wasn't helping her escape the rain long after she had been soaked to the bone. How long have I been out here? Two hours? Three? Who knows? I hope McGonagall doesn't find me. I hope he does. That day she had hoped that the whole thing was a joke. That he and his brother would pop back into the entrance hall a couple of seconds later announcing the end of their prank. But it wasn't. She hadn't seen him or heard from him since that day. It was driving her crazy. Is he all right? Did something happen to him? Is he somewhere safe? Does he still love me? She remembered nights they would spend in the common room, just sitting on the couch, staring at the fire and holding each other. But now Katie's nights were spent sitting on that couch thinking about him. She was trying to pick up the pieces of her broken heart. She didn't know if she ever could, he had one of the biggest pieces. He still had it, and probably would forever. She wanted everything back the way it was before he left. She had no one to hold her after those horrid detentions with their Defense Against the Dark Arts professor. Umbridge. God, I hate that woman. She's the reason my bloody hand hurts. She's the reason everyone's going off the deep end. She's the reason he left. Damn her! She's the reason I'm crying.

Bring back those nights when I held you beside me
Unbreak my heart.
Say you'll love me again
Undo this hurt you caused when you walked out the door
and walked out of my life.
Uncry these tears, I've cried so many nights
Unbreak my heart

Katie resigned to banging her head against the tree. She did this softly, she really wasn't in the mood for a headache. She remembered when she had been in the rain previously with him. It was in April. He had taken her out of bed, all the while she was kicking and protesting to it. She couldn't scream as it was about midnight and she would wake the entire tower and castle. He snuck them out of the castle and pulled her over to this very tree. He asked her if she had ever danced in the rain before. She said no and he promptly scooped her up in his arms and danced with her in the pouring rain. At first they danced a fast waltz around the grounds, then some crazy dance he had made up on the spot. They finished revolving slowly on one spot. Both soaked through their skin. She had rested her shoulder on his shoulder and he had rested his cheek on her head. That was the day he told her about his plans to leave the school. She didn't know what to do when he told her this. She didn't know how to respond. What was she supposed to do? He told her he loved her and always would. But he was leaving, how could he love her? He said it wasn't goodbye, but with him leaving, wasn't it? She wanted him to be back with her, to love her, to hold her, to kiss her, to relieve all the pain.

Take back that sad word "goodbye"
Bring back the joy to my life
Don't leave me here with these tears
Come and kiss this pain away

She remembered the dreaded day. He had told her when he and his brother were going to leave. That day she didn't even speak to him. She could barely look at him. Nothing was going to change on this day. She knew that and so did he. She had told him that she loved him many times. He had done the same but that day she felt it was all a lie. He never loved her. If he did he wouldn't have left her. He wouldn't have even thought about it. She would always remember the day he left.

I can't forget the day you left,
I was so unkind.

When she looked back on it she realized that she shouldn't have been like that to him. He looked so depressed when she wouldn't even speak to him that morning at breakfast or any other time that day. She felt bad but didn't want to talk to him. She would only break down and then he wouldn't go. But she wanted him to and didn't want him to. She was so confused. She didn't know what she wanted. But after he left she knew exactly what she wanted. She wanted him back. She wanted him with her again. She hated life without him in it. It was tearing her apart and she hated it. She had seriously thought about leaving after him, but she thought about her parents and their reaction. They wouldn't like it at all and she really wanted to be a Healer. So she stayed. And she felt that life was so cruel towards her for not following her heart.

Life is so cruel without you beside me
Unbreak my heart.
Say you'll love me again
Undo this hurt you caused when you walked out the door
and walked out of my life.
Uncry these tears, I've cried so many nights
Unbreak my heart.

She looked out into the distance, across the lake and thought she saw something out there by the shore. She shook her head and it was gone, from her vision and her mind. Her mind was focused on the previous year, when they had gone to the Yule Ball together. He had looked so handsome, but they had only gone as friends, she had to remind herself that night as she walked down the stairs leading to the girls' dormitories. She walked down the stairs and saw him waiting for her at the bottom. She watched as he grinned at her, causing her to smile at him. She couldn't have helped it even if she had wanted to. She had fallen in love with him right then and wondered if he even looked at her as something other than someone who could be his sister. She had looked her best that night but she didn't know it. He had told her so that night and many nights after they had gotten together the year later. As she remembered the night of the Yule Ball she wept harder. Remembering the good times with her wrenched at her broken heart harder than any other memories. She desperately wanted to leave the rain and leave the pain but she couldn't. She needed him to help her out of it.

Don't leave me in all this pain
Don't leave me out in the rain
Bring back those nights when I held you beside me.

She looked out to the lake again and swore she could see a figure coming toward her. She blinked and it was still there. She didn't care. It could be some mass murder for all she minded. At least he would put me out of my pain and misery. She watched as it came closer and closer. She could only see the silhouette but that didn't matter. She continued to stare at the open space in front of her. No one could help her now, she thought as the figure came steadily closer. No one can help me. I can't even help myself.

Unbreak my heart
Say you'll love me again.
Undo this hurt you caused when you walked out the door
and walked out of my life
Uncry these tears
I've cried so many nights.
Unbreak my...
Unbreak my heart, oh baby
Come back and say you'll love me
Unbreak my heart, sweet darling
Without you I can't go on.

Katie's eyes went wide as she saw the figure up close. The figure pulled her up from where she was sitting and engulfed her in a hug. She couldn't believe her eyes. He's here. What's he doing here? Who cares? He's here! He's with me. That's all I need. He let go of her slowly and looked at her. He wiped away her tears and held her close to him once more. However his efforts were in vain, she began to weep once more. She didn't weep in sadness, she wept in relief. He still loved her. He wouldn't come back to the place he so desperately wanted to leave to see her if he didn't love her. He pulled back a little and looked at her. He kissed her sweetly and gently. She was the one who deepened the kiss, to make sure he was real. He parted from her and ran his hand through her hair.

"Do you want to dance?" he asked. She grinned up at him and nodded. They started to spin slowly on the spot, underneath the tree. As they danced he told her he loved her and she returned the sentiment. She knew he would be gone after seeing her back up to the castle, but she had confirmed that he loved her and would be waiting for her when she was done at school. He would be there waiting; waiting to greet her, waiting to see her, to hold her, to kiss her, to love her again.

Say you'll love me
Say you'll love me.
Unbreak my......
Say you'll love me
Tell me you love me.
Unbreak my......
Say you'll love me.