Draco Malfoy's Downfall

Draco Malfoy's Downfall

Dear Mr. Malfoy,

The Ministry of Magic has a warrant for your arrest on the following charges:

1. Peeing on a minister's book during the wedding of Harry and Hermione Potter.

2. Trying to send Harry Potter to the United States of America.

3. Sending Harry Potter to China.

4. Being evil.

5. Stalking Hermione Granger-Potter.

6. Having such a weird hairdo.

We are hoping to see you in court on Monday.

Sincerely,

Ron Weasley

Minister of Magic

Goyle,

You idiot! Why didn't you tell me evil was bad? Now I have to go to court in a week!

Goyle, your favorite foods are cupcakes, aren't they? If you can get me out of this, I'll give you all the cupcakes you can think of (which means I probably won't give you any at all).

Your boss,

Malfoy

Crab,

Pointy guy say he in trouble. He say that if me get him out he give me cupkakes. Me sure love cupkakes. Dont you love cupkakes?

Shood me help pointy guy? I wish he ask you. You smarterest. Oh well.

Love,

Go.. Goy.. Me

Goy,

Who pointy guy? What cupkakes? Me no under... underst... understand what you meen. It all confoosing.

Oh, yeah! Pointy guy! HA, HA, HA! Me almost fergot what you meen. Yes, you shood help pointy guy if he get you sumthing. If he giving you sumthing, he nice, right?

Love,

Cr... Cra... Crappe... Me

Harry,

Malfoy's going to jail! I mean, there's no way he's going to win the appeal.

Now there is no way You-know-who can come back to power. Malfoy was his most powerful follower. With Malfoy in Azkaban, You-know-who will just slowly rot away.

Enough about me, how are you? Have you and Hermione planned a honeymoon yet? I was thinking you guys could go to Salem, Massachusetts. It is in America, but is cool. It's got a cool history with magic.

Well, I got to go. Malfoy's case is in two days, and there's a lot of work to get done before then.

Your friend,

Ron

Dear Master,

I need help. The Ministry is after me for being evil. I'm not as powerful as you are, and I thought you could help your most ungrateful servant.

Your servant,

Malfoy

Malfoy,

I see you are in need of my help. I shall help you, as you asked. You should have asked me earlier.

Another thing, stop kissing my butt. I respect you as my servant, you don't have to say I'm all that great, I know that.

Sincerely,

The High, Mighty, Great, and Handsome Lord Voldemort

Dear Mr. Weasley,

Today was supposed to be the day of the trial, but, I'm sorry sir. Malfoy escaped. Please don't hate me or fire me. I'll do anything!

Your friend,

Neville Longbottom

Azkaban Guard

Neville,

I hate you. You're fired.

Ron Weasley

Minister of Magic

Ron,

I've captured Malfoy and Voldemort on a Muggle highway. How did they escape your jail? Oh, well. My partner and I have given Voldemort the death sentence. I'll bring Malfoy into your possession.

Your bud,

Harry Potter

Auror of the Ministry

P.S. Hermione and I are planning on having a honeymoon, and Salem sounds like a good place to spend it.

4/26/04