Betrayal

Chapter 18

The minutes leading up to detention crept by slowly as Harry and Hermione occupied an empty table in the great hall. They sat in silence while carefully avoiding each other's eyes. Hermione felt a deep, impending sense of doom within the pit of her stomach. She had lost Harry. He had decided that they should break up. She could do nothing but accept this. She was also about to come face to face with Ron. She wasn't sure how that would go. Would he be angry, or violent, or...worse? Hurt? Her memory flickered back to last night when she told him it wasn't going to work. He had cried like she had never seen him cry before. Hermione didn't think she could handle seeing that again, especially in front of Harry. That would somehow make it worse; it would be like bringing his humiliation to a higher level. Despite this sense of doom, she didn't really think Ron would write them off forever. She couldn't wrap her brain around the idea of that actually happening.

Hermione stole a glance in Harry's direction. He looked a fine shade of lime green; he was terrified that this was exactly what would happen. Harry had mixed emotions about the whole situation. He was directing all of his will power towards not looking at Hermione. Looking into her eyed reminded him of what he was giving up and made him question whether or not he would be able to actually do it when the time came. Just the thought of this made his stomach churn. He did love her, but he was also consumed with the desire to end this feud between him and Ron no matter what. He couldn't take it anymore, and he knew Ron couldn't either. Harry was desperate to talk to him and kept glancing at his watch. At one point he could have sworn that it was moving backwards. He tapped it irritably. He just needed to speak with him, and make him understand...

Understand what? That you love Hermione? A little voice in the back of his head began to question him.

No. Well, yes. I'm not going to lie and say my feelings for her mysteriously disappeared, but...I'm not going to throw away his friendship. I can't do that.

Don't you think you're being a bit of an idiot? Are you going to throw away Hermione's love, then? That's better, is it?

No, It's not better. I don't have a choice! If I stay with her, and he decides that's it, then I've basically chosen to throw away his friendship. This way, I keep both my best friends. That made sense to him.

If he can't handle you and Hermione together, then isn't he the one choosing to throw away the friendship?

Damn! That made more sense to him. Shut up! You're confusing me. I need to concentrate on what I'm going to say to him and on not looking into Hermione's eyes. He looked at his watch again.

"It's time." They both got up and headed to Snape's office.

Sitting alone in the quidditch locker room, Ron watched the minute hand of his watch speed around the clock as if it knew he was dreading 5pm and it couldn't get there fast enough. He thought briefly about skipping detention and quickly dismissed this. If it were any other teacher, he probably would have hidden in his dorm. Well, maybe not McGonagall... He flicked his watch in a vain attempt to slow it down. He didn't know what he was going to say to them when he saw them. He didn't know if he wanted to say anything, and he certainly didn't want to hear their apologies or reasons for making the decision they had. With one last annoyed glance at his watch he got up and left.

When Ron arrived at Snape's office, the potions master was there alone. Without looking up Snape pointed at a table in the front of the room and said, "Sit down, Mr. Weasley," in a crisply menacing whisper. Ron sat. Seconds later Harry and Hermione entered the room. Hermione stared miserably at the floor while Harry tried to catch Ron's eye. Ron stared determinedly at the board behind Snape. Snape looked up and gave them a chilly smile.

"Well, well...we've all arrived." Upon noticing the strained tension between the three friends, his smile got even chillier. He pointed at the same table Ron was at and ordered them to sit as well. Harry noticed that there were exactly two empty chairs at the table: one beside Ron and one directly in front of him. He shot Snape a nasty look and began to take the chair next to Ron, who snorted and inched his own chair away from Harry. This caused Harry to pause for a split second before sitting down. Hermione, noticed this, walked timidly over to the table, and bit her lip before taking her own chair.

"Now, your punishment for jinxing Malfoy, and for physically assaulting him," he shot Hermione a disgusted glance, "will be to write one foot long essay on self-control. From what I heard today, it seems that you three have trouble controlling your actions and...hormones." They all glared at him before pulling pieces of parchment out of their bags and looking for quills.

"Do you all have trouble hearing?" He snapped. "I said one essay. For one essay, you will need one piece of parchment and one quill. Nothing else. You will work together for a period of three hours on a collaborative effort to give in detail an account of how and why you lost control today and what you will do in the future to ensure that you do not let your emotions, or hormones, get in the way of exercising self-control. Do I make myself clear?"

Hermione's jaw dropped in horror; Ron looked sick; Harry resumed glaring at Snape nastily. Snape surveyed their reactions with malicious satisfaction and made to leave the office. At the door he paused, turned around, and hissed, "You are not to leave the room during this time. If any of you do, I will know, and all three of you will receive another detention. Oh, and Miss Granger, I shall know if you write the entire essay on your own, for I have read enough of your dull and long-winded essays to be familiar with your writing style. In fact, I expect the essay to be in Mr. Weasley's handwriting. He needs the practice, as it is atrocious." And with that he swept out of the office, the door snapping shut behind him.

They sat there in ear-ringing silence for ten minutes before any of them spoke. "He only wants one foot, but he's given us three hours. I knew he would do something like this," Ron muttered under his breath as he snatched up his parchment and quill. However, he made no attempt at looking at either of his friends or writing anything down.

"So did I," said Hermione in a small voice, daring a glance at Ron, "but I expected him to give us weapons so we would cause each other actual physical harm." Whatever tiny hopeful smile that was beginning to play across Hermione's mouth was quickly erased as he stared up at her coldly. She quickly looked away. The silence resumed for another five minutes. The tension was building rapidly and could be felt by all three. Harry stared at the back of Ron's head. Ron stared at the wall. Hermione stared at Harry. Finally, Harry spoke.

"Look, Ron..." he began quietly.

"DON'T YOU 'LOOK RON' ME!" He screamed, wheeling around on Harry, his face flushing quickly. Harry flinched away from Ron, who looked absolutely mad. He was breathing heavily and blinking, trying to fight back the pools of tears that were accumulating rapidly.

"I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANYTHING YOU HAVE TO SAY! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR YOUR REASONS OR EXCUSES FOR ANY OF IT! YOU'VE MADE YOUR DECISION! CAN'T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE ALREADY?"

"D-decision?" Harry stuttered. He couldn't know about him and Hermione breaking up. But if he did, why was he so angry about it? .

Ron smashed the quill and parchment down, flung himself up from the table, and walked to the front of the room trying to steady his breathing. With his back turned against them he said in a low voice, "Don't make me say it. I don't want to discuss it. Let's just write this stupid essay and get on with ignoring each other." He couldn't hold back the tears now, so he kept facing the board.

"What are you talking about, Ron? The decision we've made was to..." Harry trailed off, not wanting to say the words out loud. It would make them final. He looked at Hermione, who was watching him intently, as if she were waiting to see if he would go through with it. Harry held her gaze for a moment and then looked at Ron's back.

"Ron, we've decided to...to," his voice cracked as he fought to release the words from his mouth, "break up. We're sorry about everything, okay? We-we made a m-mistake. It was a mistake." At these words, Hermione gasped. She couldn't believe he had said it was a mistake. Was he serious?

"Harry," she began slowly, "what exactly are you saying?" But Harry would not meet her eyes. He just continued to look at Ron, who had begun to turn around and stare at Harry in disbelief as if asking that exact same question.

"Hermione and I both decided that we would rather break up than lose your friendship. What you saw today...I'm sor-I mean-we didn't mean for you to see that-"

"What do you mean by mistake, Harry?" Hermione wailed, cutting him off.

"You're breaking up?" Ron asked quietly, looking at Harry, not sure if he had heard him correctly. Harry nodded.

"Mistake? HARRY!" Hermione stood up to and began to make her way around the table.

Harry could not ignore her any longer. "Herm-"

"Why was it a mistake?"

"Hermione! I thought we decided-

"We decided that we were going to break up to save our friendship with Ron. How in the hell do you jump from that to MISTAKE?" She was livid. Ron looked back and forth between his two friends. Harry, who was still sitting, looked down at the table, almost cowering under Hermione's intense anger.

"You both agreed to break up?" Ron's voice was still deathly quiet, but this time he directed the question towards Hermione.

"Yes!" She spat, her gaze flickering dangerously towards Ron for a quick moment and then back to Harry.

"But, I thought-I thought that..." Ron didn't know what to say. He was dumbfounded.

"What did you think, Ronald?" Hermione hissed, now directing her full glare onto the red head. "Did you think we would just drop you as a friend as quickly as you tried to do us? Did you think we would be as selfish and as spiteful as you are?" Ron opened and closed his mouth, searching for some kind of response, but his brain was not functioning properly and therefore could not formulate a coherent thought.

Hermione looked back to Harry expectantly. "Well?"

"Hermione-" Harry couldn't speak either. He hadn't meant for it to come out that way. He was just trying to put it in a way that would be better for Ron to hear. He wanted desperately to tell Hermione that he loved her and that the few hours they spent together made him feel as if he could someday be a happy, normal person. That was something he hadn't felt since finding out about the prophecy in fifth year. That was how much he loved and needed her. He took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes before turning to Ron.

"It wasn't exactly a mistake, Ron. I regret that this has hurt you and jeopardized our friendship, but being with Hermione and loving her was not a mistake. I prefer to think of it as a cruel joke, personally. I'm sure you feel the same way. It doesn't matter, I guess. We're breaking up. If you want us too," he added quickly. "We'll do whatever it takes to be your friend again. We want to stop fighting."

Hermione kicked her chair out of frustration. Ron closed his eyes, taking in Harry's words.

"Will you both just sit down so we can talk this thing out?"

They both took their chairs and stared expectantly at Harry.

Chapter 19

"Ron?" Harry began, turning towards him.

"What?" Ron snapped. Why did he have to go first?

"Well? What do you have to say? Can we still be friends after this? Do you hate us? What you saw today..." Harry's cheeks went slightly red, "are you very angry about that?" He waited for a response. "Say something!" His voice was impatient with the desire to know exactly how Ron felt about...well, everything.

Ron glared back and forth between Harry and Hermione a few times before he spoke.

"What I saw today made me want to gouge out my eyes. It's bad enough seeing you two talking and laughing together, but that..." Ron shivered at the memory

"Well, what in the bloody hell were you doing down there anyway? We went down there just so you wouldn't see us! Doing anything!" Hermione was clearly still very angry. Ron leaned over the table towards her with an indignant fire in his eyes.

"I went down there to talk to you!" He looked at Harry. "And you! I wanted to...well I don't know what I wanted to do! But, I couldn't not talk to you guys anymore! I was miserable, and I thought you might be too! I was way off on that one! There you two were, beginning your stupid, blissful lives together without me, not wasting any time, I might add!"

Hermione's anger softened slightly at his words.

"Look, Ron, we hadn't decided that we were going to dump you, if that's what you mean. And we never promised not to be together during this forty-eight-hour-ultimatum-from-hell you cooked up. We were miserable too. You were all we could think about or talk about all day!" She was still upset, but her voice was now impatient, rather than furious. She wanted him to know that they still cared for him. Ron looked bitter and skeptical.

"Ron, we've been-we've just really missed you." Ron stared at Harry as he spoke. "We didn't want to hurt you any more than we already had. We really tried to stay out of your way, because we knew it would be hard for you to see us together." Harry's voice was soft and placating. Ron turned back to Hermione suddenly.

"How can you stop loving me so quickly?" His voice was hoarse with emotion and his question was unexpected. Hermione was silent for a moment.

"I still love you, Ron. I've told you that. I'll always love you. But you treated me pretty badly. I can't tell you how horrible it feels to be rejected and made to feel disgusting by someone you love very much. I couldn't take it any longer. You don't have the right to do that to me. I don't care what your excuses are. That part had absolutely nothing to do with Harry." Her anger was all but gone. All she wanted to do was make him understand.

Ron shot Harry a guilty look. He knew damn well that that part had nothing to do with Harry, but he would have preferred to blame Harry for all of it. It just wasn't that simple, though.

"I didn't mean to make you feel like that, Hermione...I just love you so much. I wanted to show you that I completely respected you and...and...I don't know."

"I know, Ron. But there's only so much a person can take. I don't know what else to say," she said softly.

Harry was quiet throughout this part of the conversation. It didn't really concern him and they needed a moment to discuss it. He couldn't help but notice that Ron looked completely heart-broken. Guilt, by now an annoyingly familiar emotion, flooded his system yet again.

"Ron, I'm-I'm really in love with Harry. I know that's hard to hear, but we were thinking that maybe, if we gave you some time, you could try to accept it?" Her voice was small and pleading.

"I thought you said you were breaking up?" Ron asked weakly. He was finding it difficult to speak.

"We are. If that's what you want, Ron." Harry had decided to join in the conversation at this point.

"Harry..." Hermione began. "I'm not sure if I want to do this..."

"Hermione, we already decided-"

"You decided for us, Harry. I don't agree with it. I love you, Ron, but that ultimatum...I can't believe you would give up our friendship like that. It's really...unlike you in a very bad way."

"I was angry. Can't you imagine how angry I was? Okay, so I was stupid and insensitive in our relationship. But I never expected that from you two. You're my two best friends. I don't know if I can see you two together and ever be happy about it. It just hurts so much right now..." He put his head in his hands, unable to continue.

"Ron, it hasn't even been twenty-four hours yet. Since last night our emotions have been on a roller coaster. Of course you feel that way right now. Who wouldn't? But, Harry has had feelings for me since before we started dating, and he has managed to suck it up and keep it to himself, even though it's been difficult. He did that, because he loves us and wanted us to be happy. Even when he was comforting me after how you made me feel, he never once tried to take advantage of the situation. He did that, because he loves you. And then we had that fight last night, and...I felt so bad about myself. You broke up with me just like that! I thought you weren't attracted to me. I thought you thought I was dirty. Harry made me feel better; he made me feel good about myself. He always does." She smiled softly at Harry.

Ron's body shook with an inaudible sob. He couldn't bring himself to look at her as she said these words. He felt so ashamed of himself for making her feel that way, for giving them that stupid ultimatum. And he felt sorry that Harry had been the one who made Hermione feel as good as he always wanted to make her feel. Why had he been such an idiot? If he would have just listened to her, to both of them...

"And afterwards, all Harry could do was think about your feelings. I knew he loved me, but the only thing on his mind was how you were going to react, about how this was going to really hurt you. He cares so much about you. We both do."

Now Harry was tearing up. He loved her. She was trying so hard to tell Ron how difficult it had been for him and how hurting Ron had been torture to him.

Ron looked up at Harry and saw this. "Since before we were dating, huh?" His voice was trembling and he was making a pathetic attempt at a smile. It turned out to be a sad grimace. Harry nodded. Ron continued to cry softly and looked back down.

"Ron..." Harry put a hand on his shoulder. He didn't know what to say.

"Ron, I hate that it's like this. I really do, but I am in love with Harry. Please don't make us choose between that and you. Please?"

Ron shook his head. Neither Harry nor Hermione knew how to interpret this. Harry spoke.

"Ron, if you make us choose, then we'll choose you, but..." Harry was in agony anticipating Ron's response.

"I don't think that's the right thing to do, Ron. It's a horrible thing, to make us choose, but seeing as I can't force Harry to be with me...if you make us to choose, then we'll choose you." She sighed resignedly.

Ron looked up and wiped his eyes, still shaking his head. "I won't m-make you choose, you s-silly prats." Hermione closed her eyes as relief flooded her entire body. Harry just stared at Ron as if not daring to believe it.

"Are you sure?" He asked Ron slowly, carefully studying his best friend's face.

Ron looked at him miserably. "Of course I'm sure. Don't expect me to jump up and down with ecstasy about the whole thing, but I can't imagine my life without you guys. I need some time to get used to it. I'm going to get jealous from time to time, and maybe I won't want to watch you snog her in the common room, but..." Harry gave Ron a small smile as he watched him wipe the remaining tears from his cheeks.

"Harry, I-I'm sorry. I'm an idiot." Then he turned towards Hermione. "I'll always love you and regret what I did to you, okay Hermione? I'm so sorry."

"It's okay, Ron. I'll always love you, too." She went around the table and hugged his shoulder. He leaned into the hug, savoring the warmth of her body for the last time and sighing into the crook of her neck. She pulled back and kissed him on the temple while giving Harry a feeble smile over the top of his head. They both knew it would take time for Ron to be completely okay with this, a lot of time, and they were willing to do whatever it took to help him with it.

Ron sniffed and regained some of his composure. "By the way, that was the most excellent lesson in Care of Magical Creatures I have ever witnessed," he said to Hermione as she retrieved her chair from her side of the table and placed it on the other side of Ron.

"I thought I saw you smiling!" Harry said accusingly. Ron nodded.

"The look on Pansy's frozen face was priceless! Thanks for that," he added.

"No problem. I think I quite like jinxing those who deserve it. We should spend some time learning particularly painful and humiliating jinxes. 'Stupefy' was just a warm up." Hermione smiled mischievously, twirling the quill in her right hand.

"That is an excellent idea. I still haven't finished paying Malfoy back for this morning," Harry retorted, grinding his fist into his other hand.

Ron laughed, but just a little. His mood was definitely starting lift as he chatted with his best friends about the day's events, plotted their revenge on the Slytherins, and wrote Snape's essay. However, his heart was still heavy with misery. He longed to take back the mistakes he had made with Hermione, but knew he could not. He wondered if he would ever get over her and be able to be happy for her and Harry. Ron understood that it was going to be one of the most difficult things he would ever do, but being there with them, talking and laughing with them, and just being friends with them, made him realize that they were worth giving it a damn good try.

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