Betrayal

Chapter 17

Ron tripped over a large tree root as he tried to back away from the horrific scene before him. I'm not seeing this. This isn't happening. I'm not seeing this. Why did I come here? What was I thinking? How could they? Ron's head consumed with so many thoughts that he hardly felt the sharp rock he fell on dig into his lower back.

Hermione saw the look of mingled shock and horror on Ron's face as he struggled and tripped, trying to get away from them. He didn't see her notice him, because his eyes were glued to where Harry's hand seemed to have disappeared. Harry, a little slower than Hermione on the catching the significance of the snapping twig, looked over his shoulder just in time to see Ron scramble to his feet, turn around, and race towards the castle. He jerked his hand out of Hermione's jeans and swore loudly, getting to his feet. Hermione quickly zipped herself up and looked miserably up at Harry, her face flushed with guilt. He, however, was still staring after Ron as if contemplating whether or not to run after him.

"Leave him, Harry. You and I are the last two people he'll want to see after that." Harry swore again; Hermione winced, and tears started to spill down her cheeks.

As he ran up to the castle, Ron tried to purge his mind of the images that seemed to be flooding into his brain from all angles. Harry's hand down there...Hermione moaning...kissing..."Do you like it when I touch you there?"...

Ron stopped by then entrance, panting, and physically shook his head as if he thought he could get rid of the images that way. Then he stopped suddenly and bent over, gagging, his lunch threatening to escape his stomach.

After forcing the contents of his stomach to stay put, Ron slid down the castle wall, drew his knees up to his chest, and hugged them. He couldn't believe that twenty minutes ago he was starting to think it might be possible to forgive his two best friends. After lunch he had walked the halls of Hogwarts aimlessly, thinking about the situation. He began to second-guess his decision to give them an ultimatum after pondering his talks with both Neville and Ginny. What was worse, having to accept their relationship or not having them as friends at all? He really couldn't imagine what his life would be like without them. He didn't have anyone else. Well, he had Ginny, Neville, and Dean, but...no one like Harry and Hermione. He had even smiled a little when he remembered Hermione jinxing Pansy on his behalf. Hermione had looked so outraged...all because Pansy touched on what had always been an embarrassing and incredibly touchy aspect of Ron's home life: being poor. He thought she must really care about him to jinx another student right in front of a professor (even if it was Hagrid).

Ron hadn't fully decided what he was going to say when he went looking for them. He just knew that he was tired of not speaking with them. He got word from Seamus that they went towards that spot by the lake and headed down there, not expecting to find what he had. He had thought he heard their voices, but as he made his way towards them, the voices turned into moans and whispers. He knew then that he should have turned around and gone back, but he could not stop himself from moving in the direction of the sounds...

Ron closed his eyes at the memory of what he had seen. I guess they made their decision, then. Didn't take long, did it? Ron thought sourly. How could they be doing those things, right outside where anyone could see them? How could they do this to me? To Ron's surprise, his anger was subsiding rapidly. Instead of picturing himself giving Harry the beating of a lifetime, he found that he simply felt empty and sad. They had chosen each other. They had not chosen him. They were no longer his friends. At this last thought, Ron closed his eyes, trying to fight back the tears.

After regaining control over his emotions, he looked down at his watch. He would be face to face with them in less than three hours, and he wondered what he was going to do until then. More specifically, he wondered where he was going to hide so that he wouldn't have to see either of them until he absolutely had to. He let out a long, slow breath, got up, and entered the castle.

Harry sat back down next to Hermione. "We really messed that one up, didn't we? Talk about bloody rotten timing," he said bitterly.

"Harry, that wasn't our fault. We didn't mean-"

"Are you serious, Hermione? Whose fault was it? Ron's? Maybe we could find some way to blame this on Malfoy, too!" He screamed at her, his temperature rising quickly as the guilt swirled around in his stomach. Harry couldn't believe how little blame she felt they deserved, when the entire situation was their doing.

"Don't be ridiculous, Harry! And don't yell at me like that! All I'm saying is that we weren't trying to hurt Ron. In fact, we went out of our way to avoid him seeing us even sitting together out here. It was just an accident that he saw...that." She was trying to reason with Harry, because she could see he was becoming increasingly upset by what had just happened.

"So what if we weren't trying to hurt him? We still did! Again! Is there anything else we could possibly do to him? Next to tying him up and making him watch us shag, I think we've covered every possibly way of hurting or humiliating him! Damn it!" He got up again and started pacing. Hermione hated when he did this. It was usually a sign that he wasn't thinking very clearly.

"Harry," she began slowly. "Just calm down, okay? We didn't promise not to be together during this forty-eight hour period. We still have until tomorrow night to let Ron calm down. We can talk-"

"Hermione! Do you honestly think Ron is still going to come around? After that? We blew it! We'll be lucky if he ever talks to us again, even if we do break up!" Harry sighed and looked up at the sky, trying to blink away the tears that suddenly began burning his eyes. He couldn't believe what he was about to say to her. When he spoke again, his voice was solemn. "I can't do this anymore. I won't continue to put him through this, Hermione. I love you, but I love him too. I can't make a choice that will take one of you away from me forever."

"Harry...no. There's still time. If we talk to him about it, maybe..." Her voice was soggy and miserable. She was crying and not wanting to believe that Harry was giving up like this. How could he give them up so quickly when they still had time?

"I'm so sorry." Harry whispered as he knelt down and stroked her cheek. "Can't you imagine how hard this has to be on Ron? We have each other, but he's alone. He's dealing with this alone. Between the taunting of the Slytherins, the whispers and ogling of the other students, knowing we're together, seeing us together in classes, and then out here doing...it's too much. It's too much for one person to take. We have to talk to him and be there for him, and the only way we can do that right now is..." It didn't need to be said. Hermione's gut-wrenching sobs said it for them. He leaned in and hugged her firmly, trying to cushion her trembling body. Feeling her body shake when she cried like that was unbelievably painful; he hated it when she cried.

"I-I know, but it's just so hard..." she mumbled heavily into his shoulder. "Just the thought of not being with you...I feel like I can't bear it, like-like someone's cut a piece of my soul out, and I'll never recover it. I know that sound's really stupid..."

"No, it doesn't Hermione. I feel the same way, but we'll still be friends, though, right? We'll still see each other, we'll still have each other..." Harry was crying now, too. He was also trying to convince himself of these words. "But we'll also have Ron...and that's for the best, isn't it? I don't want to lose either of you, and this is the only way to make sure that doesn't happen."

"Ok-kay. I don't want to lose Ron either, Harry. You know that, don't you?" Hermione was taking deep breaths and trying to calm herself down. Harry let go of her and softly wiped her tears away with his hands.

"I know." He sighed. "I just hope we haven't already."

"Don't, Harry. Don't you dare say that!" She gave him a sharp, terrified look.

"Maybe if we find him right away, and tell him, you know...we tell him we're breaking up, and we're sorry and that...I don't know. Maybe he'll forgive us?" Harry looked at Hermione hopefully, but she just shook her head.

He thought for a moment. "No, you were right before. He does not want to see us right now. We'll tell him during detention. By then he'll at least have had a few hours to recover and...bugger." He stopped talking and simply looked at her. "Hermione, are you going to be okay? With this, I mean?"

"I have to be, don't I? It's not as if we have a choice." She looked at him weakly. Deep down, she didn't really agree with Harry. She thought he was acting solely from his emotions, namely the burning guilt he felt. It was causing him to be a bit unreasonable. This was something he and Ron had always had in common. The thought of Ron not forgiving them and breaking their friendship was unbearable, but she somehow couldn't bring herself to believe that it could actually happen. Harry, on the other hand, did believe it, and he couldn't handle it. "This just isn't fair. I love you so much." But she had no choice.

"Life isn't fair, remember?"

She smiled sadly. "No one knows that better than you."

They rose to their feet, gently held hands, and made their way up to the castle to wait for detention with Ron.