Harry Potter and the Last Goodnight

Chapter 35: Silent Night

Madam Pomfrey arrived using Floo Powder a few moments later. Mr. Weasley led her to the bedroom door, and Harry tried to follow them, but Mr. Weasley told him that he needed to stay back, and there was nothing he could do. Frustrated and furious, Harry sat down on the loveseat and watched Mrs. Weasley, who was still chatting softly with Dumbledore. Harry couldn't hear what they were saying, but he couldn't seem to concentrate on the physical world around him anyway. He was lost in his own thoughts.

Please don't die, Harry prayed silently. Please don't die.

Hermione and Ron sat on either side of him. Ron gave him a pat on the back, and he was grateful for the company and the closeness of his two best friends. Neither of them spoke, but he knew there was nothing they could say that would make the tragedy any easier.

There was a scuffle from the fireplace, and Tonks, in disguise as Professor Leurre, poked her head into the fire. "I'm coming, Molly," she said. She glanced at Dumbledore, who didn't say a word. "I've got to be there. Someone needs to look over Remus."

"As you wish," Dumbledore said. "I must get back to the feast. I'll be in touch, Molly." His head disappeared from the fire, which Mrs. Weasley quickly put out so that Tonks could use Floo Powder. Within seconds, she was standing in the fireplace, in her normal form. She dashed out and brushed the hot ash off her clothes.

"I told them to let me do it! I told them I should've been the one watching him tonight! That man cannot be trusted!" she shouted. "Where is he? Is he hurt?"

"I'll take you to him," Percy said. "We only stunned him." Tonks nodded that she understood and rushed out the door after Percy.

Harry wondered who was supposed to be watching over Remus. Tonks appeared to be furious. He thought maybe it was Mundugus Fletcher's job. He had been known to slack off - he was supposed to be watching over Harry when the dementors attacked him and Dudley on Privet Drive. However, Harry really thought that the old crook had learned his lesson. He knew what would happen if Remus was left at the Burrow when the full moon rose. Perhaps Dung was up to his old tricks.

But Harry didn't have the heart to be furious. He was sick with worry. He took off his glasses and set them on his knee. They were still foggy from when he came in from the cold outside. Mrs. Weasley was bustling around in the kitchen. Fred had offered to go bring extra supplies to Charlie and Tonks, who would be spending the night outside with Remus.

Harry held his head in his hands. Please don't die. It was a chant inside of his head. He would give anything to let Eva live. Anything at all. He just wanted her to live. He couldn't picture his life without her. He didn't even want to try.

He didn't know how long he had stayed in his praying position, but when he looked up again he saw that everyone in the living room was asleep. The twins were lying on the floor in front of the fireplace, their backs pressed up one another, snoring softly. Hermione and Ron, on either side of him, were leaning against the back of the loveseat, dozing. Ginny still had Nora's head in her lap, and both were fast asleep.

Harry stood up. He was afraid that he, too, would fall asleep. He began to pace around the living room. He glanced at his watch. It was three in the morning. Perhaps he had fallen asleep without realizing it.

The Burrow was eerie. Unnaturally silent. Harry sadly looked at the tree, now dimly lit with only a few glowing candles that were still ablaze. It seemed that the tree was no longer dripping with gold, but weeping sparkling tears. It took Harry's breath away just to look at it.

He was vaguely aware that someone was watching him. He turned to the doorway and saw Mrs. Weasley looking at him, very concerned. "Come in the kitchen, Harry, and have a spot of tea."

Harry shook his head. He couldn't open his mouth to speak. Surely, it would only make him cry out in agony. And he was afraid that Mrs. Weasley would put something in his cup make him fall asleep. He couldn't sleep right now. He just couldn't. He had to stay awake.

Please don't die. Please, Eva. I need you.

Harry must have walked miles from one end of the living room to the other. There was no sound coming from the bedroom, which worried him. However, Mr. Weasley and Madam Pomfrey hadn't come out, and if Eva was dead, they would have stopped trying to heal her long ago.

There was some hope, but as the bedroom door opened and Mr. Weasley stuck his head out, looking pale and quite sweaty, Harry felt his heart crash into his stomach. "Molly, get some warm water and that tub from underneath the kitchen sink. Hurry," he added.

Harry opened his mouth to ask what was going on, but Mr. Weasley disappeared inside the room again before he had time to find his voice. He didn't even look at Harry.

Mrs. Weasley got the supplies that Mr. Weasley asked her for. She didn't say anything as she marched past Harry and went inside the bedroom. Harry waited, hoping for Mrs. Weasley to come back out and give him some news, good or bad. But she never did.

He continued pacing until there was light on the horizon. Harry had never seen a more depressing sunrise in his life. The sky was overcast, and soon there was only gray light peeking into the windows in the Burrow. Harry could feel his exhaustion with every step he took, but he continued on. He had to stay awake. He had to know she was all right. He couldn't rest until he knew.

Suddenly, the front door opened. Percy came in, carrying the supplies that Fred had delivered to them for spending the night in the snowy forest. Everyone but Nora stirred in the living room. They stood up and stretched.

Harry stood in shock as he watched who came through the front door next. Remus staggered in through the door frame with an arm around Charlie and the other around Tonks for support. He was pale and looked terribly sick. Harry could see his eyes were red.

He was in no condition to be walking on his own, but he let go of Charlie and Tonks and made his way to the living room where Harry was standing, frozen. He didn't know what to say. He didn't know what to do. Remus, the closest thing he had to a father, may have killed Eva. Part of Harry wanted to punch him in the face, and the other part wanted to weep. He knew that Remus couldn't help what sort of creature he was. It wasn't his fault.

He just wanted Eva to live. He didn't care about anything else.

When Remus was only a few feet away from Harry, he stopped. "Harry... Oh Harry... I'm so sorry..." And he broke down into sobs. Large, wet tears fell from his eyes and Harry felt all at once overwhelmed.

Harry rushed forward and embraced Remus in a tight hug. And this time he could not hold back either. Tears streamed from Harry's eyes, causing his vision to blur even more due to the fact he wasn't wearing his glasses. He choked back his own sobs as Remus apologized over and over again.

"I'm so sorry... so sorry, Harry... I'm sorry..."

Harry took a deep breath and hugged him even tighter. He wanted Remus to stop apologizing, but he just couldn't open his mouth and tell him to. He was so cold from his night in the forest, so cold it sent shivers down Harry's spine. He looked sickly because of the toll of his transformation.

He backed away from the hug and Tonks came over to Remus. He looked like would collapse at any moment. "C'mon, let's get you up to bed." He started to protest, but Tonks pulled his arm over his shoulder and headed up the stairs.

Harry was left in the middle of the living room, feeling empty and alone. George came over and patted him on the back. "Fred and I will go make some breakfast. No balloons this time," he added.

Harry didn't even try to smile as the twins disappeared into the kitchen. Ginny carefully got up from the couch and placed a pillow underneath Nora's head where her lap had been. "Where's mum?" she asked sleepily.

"She went into the bedroom a few hours ago," Ron replied. "Before sunrise," he added. Harry was surprised that Ron had been awake. Perhaps no one got much sleep at all. Ron approached Harry, a little wary, and gave him a pat on the back. "I'm sorry, mate," he whispered.

Harry could only nod. Everyone moved to the kitchen table, but Harry was hesitant to leave the living room. He felt like he'd be leaving Eva. But after some coaxing from Hermione and Ron, he sat in the chair closest to the room so that he could still keep an eye out for anything. It was silly really - if anyone stepped out of the bedroom they would all know about it.

Charlie was sitting at the table with a large mug of tea. He looked a little rough around the edges, but he was strong, and Harry realized he could have spent a week in the cold if he had to. "If only I had insisted on giving them a ride..." he began.

Harry turned to him, meeting his eyes. Charlie stopped talking. "You're not to blame." In fact, Harry was glad that Charlie was home to look after Remus.

Honestly, he just couldn't find it in his heart to be angry with him. Whoever was supposed to meet up with Remus from the Order was who Harry was beginning to feel his fury for. Someone had betrayed them.

Within minutes, eggs and meats were fried and then put onto the tabletop. Harry was vaguely aware of someone putting food on his plate, but he couldn't image eating it. He tried a piece of toast, but it only tasted like cardboard. He had no appetite. He did not wish to eat.

He was gazing at Eva's torn satchel that had her and Nora's gifts in it. There were a few drops of blood on it. Part of him wanted to look away because it was so depressing, but he just couldn't stop staring.

There was a hoot from outside and one of the twins opened a window. In swooped Errol, the Weasley family owl, with a big brown package, followed closely but Pigwidgeon, who was carrying a letter for Ron. To Harry's surprise, there were three more owls after them. Two were barn owls from Hogwarts, and the last one Harry saw had a Hogsmeade Post identifying ribbon around its neck. That particular owl flew over to him and held its leg out, a package dangling from it.

It barely registered with Harry. Who would send him something from Hogsmeade? And then he realized that Eva must have set it up so that he'd receive his gift from her on Christmas Day. He felt a lump in the back of his throat and tried to keep his tears back. He untied the package from the owl's leg and sent it away. There was a letter attached, and without hesitating, Harry opened it and read inside.

Dear Harry,

Merry Christmas!

I know what you're thinking: I shouldn't have gotten you anything for Christmas. But I found this, and it made me think of you. I wanted to give it to you in person, but I thought it would be best if it arrived on Christmas morning as a nice surprise.

Harry, I don't know quite how to say what I want to say. I know that I don't have the courage to tell you how I feel in person, so I'll try to in this letter. I know you're reading this on Christmas morning, and I've always believed that Christmas is a very magical time. Well, I'd like to make it more magical - more special. I don't know how you feel about me, but after a lot of thinking, I know how I feel about you.

I want to be more than friends.

I hope this doesn't come as a shock, and if I'm completely out of line, we can just pretend that I never told you how I feel. I'd much rather have you as a friend than not have you in my life at all. I know that I'm just a common, ordinary Muggle, but I hope that you've felt that same spark between us that I have. Please think about it.

Love,

Eva

P.S. I think I know the real reason why you used magic at the medieval dinner, and I'm flattered.

Harry felt as though his heart had just shattered into a million pieces. He thought for sure that his chest would burst. His eyes were filled with tears that he tried to blink away.

"Ron!" Hermione hissed. "What are you doing?"

Harry glanced up, distracted, and saw that Ron had opened his card he'd received in the mail.

"What?" he said. He glanced at Harry. "I thought it would be okay..."

"Now is not the time to be opening gifts!"

Harry had enough of their bickering. Didn't they realize how lucky they were? He was going to put an end to their foolishness once and for all. "Would you two just look at what you have, right in front of your faces?!" he exploded. "You've got your health. You've got each other. Why can't you just get along?" The last part came out as a plea, and Harry realized that he sounded more desperate than angry.

Ron and Hermione both blushed furiously and didn't say another word.

Harry was just about to go back into the other room when the bedroom door burst open. He turned and saw Madam Pomfrey walk out with Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, all looking extremely exhausted. He was on his feet in a flash, waiting for an explanation. There was still no sound coming from the bedroom. That was what worried him the most.

However, when he looked Mr. Weasley in the eye, there was a small sparkle in it. Madam Pomfrey spoke first. "She's going to make it."

Harry couldn't contain himself. It felt as though life had just been breathed back inside his body. He ran over to Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, who embraced him, and he even hugged Madam Pomfrey. The others cheered and were celebrating as well. However, when he pulled away from the school nurse, there was still distress in her eyes.

"She is... She's a werewolf now. There was nothing I could do. Nothing more that I can do."

Madam Pomfrey looked as though she had failed, but Harry didn't care. She was alive. That was what mattered.

"Can I see her?" Harry half-asked, half-demanded.

The Weasleys looked hesitant, but Madam Pomfrey gave a short nod. "Come into the kitchen, Poppy, and have a spot of tea. Everyone else, back to breakfast," Mrs. Weasley said.

"I think I'd better, er, stand watch, Harry," Mr. Weasley said quietly. "She's... she's had quite a shock. Be prepared. She doesn't look well. But I know she needs a friend right now."

Harry nodded, took a deep breath, and walked past Mr. Weasley and into the bedroom.

He was surprised to see that she was sitting up in the bed. She had her knees pulled up to her chin, the bed sheet covering her from the waist down. As he peered at her through the dim light, he realized that she was shaking.

Harry ran over to the bed. He couldn't help himself. He threw his arms around her. He wanted to squeeze her tightly, to make sure that she was real, but he was gentle with her, his soft hands caressing her shoulders as he embraced her.

"Oh god, Eva. I thought I'd lost you forever."

Harry studied her face and saw that there were the remnants of a nasty gash on her cheek and a black eye. Madam Pomfrey had already started the healing process on the outside, but Harry wondered when it would begin on the inside.

She was still shaking as he held her. She didn't hug him back. She wouldn't look him in the eye. There were more scrapes and bruises along her arms and a deep cut that started at her shoulder blades and disappeared beneath the shirt she was wearing.

Harry just held her in his arms on the bed for what seemed like ages. Finally, after what seemed like hours, Eva spoke.

"I... I don't remember what happened," she whispered. Her voice was hoarse. "I don't remember... after he grabbed me..." She shuddered. "How did I survive?"

Harry couldn't speak. He didn't know what to tell her - how to break it to her. Was she better off not knowing?

"It was actually Harry who saved you," Mr. Weasley said from the doorway.

"He did?" She didn't look at either one of them. Something was very off about her. Very wrong.

"He was able to distract Remus. If he didn't drop you..." his voice trailed off. "Well, you really ought to thank Harry. He was the one who saved you."

"Thank him?" Eva questioned. She turned to Harry, almost as though she'd just realized that he had his arms around her. "Thank him?!" She finally did look Harry in the eye, but her gaze was wild and her eyes were wet, filling with tears as she spoke. "Why the hell did you let me live?!" she exploded. "I hate what I am. What I've become! I don't want to be a werewolf..."

Eva was crying hysterically. Harry's heart broke for her. She squirmed in his arms, but he only held on tighter. He needed to make her understand. He needed to make her see that she meant the world to him. She tried to push him away but Harry wouldn't let her.

"I'm a monster!" she screamed. "A monster!"

"You are not a monster," Harry said.

Suddenly, she quieted in his arms. Her eyes fell and she looked as though she were ashamed. Embarrassed. "Who's going to want me now?" she whispered. It was so soft, Harry barely heard her.

Harry felt a lump of tears in the back of his throat that he tried to hold back, but he knew that he couldn't. "I can think of one person who wants you," he whispered.

Eva scoffed. "Nora would be better off without me."

"Not Nora," Harry said huskily. He reached up to her swollen face and gently wiped away the tears from each cheek. He leaned in and gently kissed her forehead.

Eva pounded her fists against his chest, trying to push him away. "Don't you dare touch me like that, Harry Potter! Don't you dare!" she cried.

But it only made Harry hold on tighter. She couldn't hold back any longer as she erupted into sobs. Harry pulled her trembling body closer to his. She was cold. So cold. But at least she squeezed him back. He felt tears running down his cheeks as her cries echoed loudly in his ear, her chest heaving against his. There was nothing he could do for her.

He held her in his arms for a long time, until she finally seemed to quiet down. Her breath came in shallow gasps when she pulled away from him, wiping her tear-stained cheeks. She looked so helpless, so vulnerable.

"What am I going to do now?"