Harry Potter and the Last Goodnight

Chapter 26: Overcome

Somehow, Harry had stumbled through the darkness and escaped unseen from Hogwarts under the camouflage of his invisibility cloak, with the aide of the Marauder's Map. If the journey had been long, he didn't notice it. All he could think of was getting to Eva. If he could just make it to her, somehow everything would be okay.

When he finally made it to Hogsmeade, it was well past midnight, and the Hog's Head was crowded with the darkest of patrons. Eva was behind the bar cleaning up when he burst in the door and walked straight up the stairs to her bedroom. He had no way to tell her that he was there. No way to catch her attention. He couldn't take the cloak off. But the rage inside of him wouldn't hold off for much longer.

He plopped down in front of her doorway, briefly wondering if he had completely lost his mind. It had been a compulsive decision to see her. He didn't even know if she would listen. But somehow he knew it would be all right. He knew she would make it that way.

No longer caring whether he was spotted or not, he pulled off the invisibility cloak and tried to catch his breath, but it was next to impossible. His mind was moving at a thousand miles a minute, his heart pounding in his chest as though he were on his deathbed.

He was going to explode.

The sound of footsteps drew nearer as he turned to see Eva walking up the stairs. She was carrying a broom. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail, her eyes confused and concerned. Eva was weary, but she smiled at him.

And somehow, that smile melted all of the anger, all of the absolute horror inside of him, and a single tear fell from his eye and slithered down his cheek behind his glasses.

"Harry, are you all right? What's the matter?" she asked, leaning the broom against the wall and crouching down so that she was eye-level with him. "Is it Nora?"

Harry shook his head because it was too hard to speak.

"No?" she replied. "What is it?"

Harry took a deep breath. "It's me."

He reached forward, his arms clutching Eva tightly, and pulled her to him. A steady stream of tears rolled down his cheeks and pooled on her shoulder. Harry was expecting her to pull away, but instead she embraced him, holding him in her arms. And for the first time since his birthday, he felt the warmth of being close to someone. He felt validated. Loved.

All of the rage he had felt for so long, all the anger, the frustration, the mourning, and the loss came pouring out of him. He was trembling - not with fury, but with sadness. He was overcome with such emotion that he broke down in her arms.

He didn't know how long she held him. He knew he should be embarrassed about his tears, but somehow, he didn't have any shame left. He didn't bother to choke back his sobs but instead deeply inhaled to catch his breath, her scent overwhelming him. There was comfort in her arms.

She shifted her legs and kneeled under his weight, and Harry pulled away, realizing that he was practically suffocating her. "I'm sorry," he whispered, wiping his eyes behind his glasses.

"It's all right," she whispered back. Her eyes were kind and still full of concern, and she hadn't moved from her kneeling position. He could see that she was slightly uncomfortable. "I would ask if you're okay," Eva said quietly, "but I can see that you're not."

Harry didn't know where to start or what he should say. "Today... today was my godfather's birthday." Realizing that this wasn't explanation enough, he tried to continue. He shifted his gaze away from her. "It was a bad day."

The corner of her mouth curved into a tiny, reassuring smile. She stood up and brushed the dust off her knees from the dirty floor. She held out her hand to him. "Let's go inside."

Harry glanced at the floor where he had hidden the Marauder's Map beneath the invisibility cloak. It wasn't safe to leave it in the hallway. He took Eva's hand and stood up, then took the risk and leaned over to pick up the cloak and the map.

Eva glanced at the items in his grip, but didn't question him as she led Harry inside her room. She gestured for him to sit down on her bed as she quickly lit some candles. Harry would have preferred to stay in the darkness with only the moonlight shining in through the window. He was stuck in silence, searching for the words to explain himself and his state of mind.

Eva sat down next to him on the bed. He could feel the warmth of her body against his bare arms and realized that he was cold. Realized it was the middle of the night. Realized that he was once again on a bed with a girl.

"I'm sorry," he apologized again. "I... I didn't know where to go." He felt the familiar tightness in his chest, a lump in the back of his throat. He struggled to hold his tears back. "I..."

He couldn't find the strength to continue. Suddenly, Eva reached out and took his hand, intertwining his fingers with hers, and squeezed them tightly. The warmth from her hands traveled from his fingertips to the rest of his body. Words, emotions, everything he had been keeping inside came out. He could hear his voice saying everything that was on his mind, but he felt far away. The words came out faster than he could consciously hold back. He talked of the sadness of Sirius's death, the horrible dreams, the pressure from Snape, Remus's worries, the envy he felt towards his best friend, the loss of Mr. Weasley's trust, and even losing to Malfoy. He didn't know how long he spoke for, but Eva listened silently, occasionally squeezing his hand when he choked up.

When the tears had stopped and his voice was hoarse from talking, Eva reached in her nightstand and pulled out a handkerchief and handed it to Harry. Harry wiped his face, which was now blushing with embarrassment, and took a deep breath.

"Is that all that's bothering you?" Eva whispered. She gave a small, apologetic smile. She reached her arm around him, the way she had when he'd gotten the bloody nose, and rubbed his back. The warmth from her fingertips made his spine tingle.

Harry managed a smile. He didn't know what to say. "I'm sorry."

"No, I am," Eva said defiantly. "Perhaps I've been a bit too harsh on you. I didn't realize... I didn't know how terrible things were."

"I deserved it," Harry replied. "I got you fired."

"Aye, it was actually a blessing in disguise. I needed a break." She grinned. "And from the sounds of it, you could use one too."

Harry, feeling much more comfortable, handed the handkerchief back to Eva. "Yes, I suppose I could. I never thought I would need a break from Hogwarts. Hogwarts has always been the one place where I felt safe. The one place that felt like home."

"Sometimes it's difficult to feel safe anywhere," Eva said. But when he met her eyes, he got the distinct impression that she was talking from her own personal experience - not his current predicament. She stopped rubbing his back and pulled away from him, as if she were suddenly very conscious of her closeness to him.

"Do... do you mind if I stay for a little while?" Harry asked gently.

Eva shook her head. "I think I'd rather enjoy the company. I'll light a fire."

"Here, I'll help," Harry offered, getting up from the bed.

Eva quickly stood up and pushed him back down. "I don't need any help, Harry," she said, a little too forcefully, and a little too reminiscent of the chaos at the medieval dinner. "I've got it. You just sit there and relax." Harry watched as found some matches and lit some kindling in the fireplace. She also lit the candles that Nora had sent her, which were nearly burned down to their bases. "I'll run down to the pub and get some drinks," she added, before Harry could stop her.

Harry sat silently on her bed, listening to the crackling fire. In the light, he could see that her room a little more organized than before. There were no pictures lying around and her bed was made. Her desk still had Muggle newspaper clippings scattered all over it. His curiosity getting the better of him, Harry stood up and peered over the tabletop. A book called Everything Muggles Should Know About the Wizarding World and Why We Shouldn't Tell Them had a bookmark pinched inside about halfway through it. There was also a letter from Nora with some kind of list. Eva had already checked off a few of the items. Some were candy, others were magical jokes, and she'd listed a set of Gobstones. The last two items were a broom and an owl. Beneath it, in Eva's handwriting, was "Scrapbook" with a checkmark after it.

Harry realized that this must have been Nora's Christmas list. Did Eva's entire life revolve around her sister? Didn't she have a life of her own? Didn't she spend a knut on herself now and then?

He heard footsteps coming up from the pub and hurried back over to the bed. Eva appeared with a tray that had two bottles of Butterbeer and some sandwiches on it. "If I didn't know any better, I'd think that Abe knew you were here." She sat down on the opposite end of the bed and placed the tray over the blankets.

Harry's heart jumped into his throat. Had he been spotted? "Who's Abe?"

"The bartender," Eva replied, handing him a bottle. "When I went down there, he already had two bottles waiting for me. And he was the one who told me that the extra room up here needed cleaning. Otherwise, you could have been waiting outside my door all night. Just how did you get here anyway?"

Harry gulped. "Well..." He took a swig of his Butterbeer, trying to prolong his answer. Could he trust her with the truth? His heart was beating rapidly in his chest. He didn't know how many more surprises he could take tonight. "There's a secret passageway from Hogwarts into the cellar of Honeydukes. Nobody really knows about it except for a select few of us. And, well, to get from Honeydukes to here, I have my father's invisibility cloak."

"Really?" Eva cried. Harry was glad to see she was more excited about the cloak than the fact that he'd been breaking the rules. "I just read about those. Fascinating objects, you know. Is that what you were holding when you came in?"

Harry nodded. The Marauder's Map was still hidden beneath the cloak, so he would get out of having to explain that particular magical device. "I wonder if he - if Abe - can see through it."

"Can wizards really do that?" Eva questioned.

Harry nodded. "It's not unheard of. One of my old professors had a magical eye that could see everything. And I mean everything."

"Tell me more about Hogwarts," Eva said, taking half of a sandwich and handing the other half to Harry. "Nora writes pages and pages about the people and her classes, but I'd like to know more about the school itself. Did Dumbledore start it?"

"No. The school was founded over a thousand years ago by four of the greatest wizards in the world." Harry grinned. He could hear his professors' voices in his own. Perhaps he would make a good teacher. "They were Slytherin, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and Gryffindor. Our four houses are named after them."

"Oh, right," Eva said between mouthfuls. "Nora mentioned something about that after she'd been sorted. She was really glad that she was sorted into Gryffindor. Seamus is in that house. I imagine you are too."

"How'd you guess?" Harry joked.

"Because of your courage," she said simply.

Harry tried desperately not to blush. "Well, from what I understand, courage is not something lacking in Finnigan women."

She smirked. "Aye, not in the women, that's for sure. The men - now that's a different story."

Harry finished off his sandwich, and then took another drink of his Butterbeer to muster up some of his Gryffindor courage to ask the question pressing in his mind. He'd asked both Nora and Seamus, but neither one gave him any sort of answer. "Eva, why don't you and your uncle get along?"

Eva stopped eating and looked at him very seriously. "Why don't you ask Seamus? I'm sure he'd love to tell you."

"I did," Harry admitted, feeling guilty for his snooping. "He said it wasn't his place to tell me."

"Did he now?" She seemed surprised. She sighed heavily and put the crusts of her sandwich back on the plate. "Me uncle's old-fashioned. Growing up, me mum would always get into trouble. Uncle Ned would always get her out of it. He warned her that one day, she was going to shame the family's name and then he'd turn his back on her. She didn't believe him, of course. After all, they were brother and sister. They were all each other had in the world," Eva added.

"But then, me mum got pregnant with me. Ned said it was the last straw. He threw her out on the streets to survive on her own. She only had the clothes on her back and the change in her purse." Eva's eyes burned with fury. "He thought he would teach her a lesson. But instead, mum got a job in a restaurant and waited tables with measly tips until the day I was born. She learned to take care of herself and a child before Uncle Ned ever talked to her again. By that time, he was married, and already had a family of his own. But when my mom had a one-night-stand with some tourist who left her pregnant again and not even an address to contact him with, he was dealing with his own family struggles and wanted nothing to do with her. Again."

"What family struggles?" Harry questioned.

"He'd just found out that his wife was a practicing witch, and that Seamus's older brother, Connell, was accepted to Hogwarts. He called me mum..." Her voice trailed off. "He said terrible things about her. About me. About Nora, even though she wasn't even born yet. I can still remember them. And from then on mum said we'd have nothing to do with him or his family. He broke her heart twice and that was enough to last a lifetime." He had never heard a voice more bitter. "After she died, he tried to get Nora and me to come live with his family, but I wouldn't hear of it. I nearly was sixteen and I already knew how to take care of us. I had already dropped out of school. I didn't need his help - until Nora got her letter."

"How long ago was that?" Harry asked, afraid that Eva would stop talking. He'd never been able to open her up before. Each time they met it seemed to be under dramatic circumstances.

"What? When Nora got her letter?"

Harry shook his head. "When did your mum die?"

"It will be two years ago this Christmas Eve," she said softly.

Harry realized that these questions were much more personal than the ones about her uncle. She would rather be angry than mournful. And no wonder she was trying to make Christmas perfect for Nora; it was the anniversary of her mother's death. But who was there to make Christmas perfect for Eva?

He could see that she was struggling inside. He reached out and gently took her hand, but she pulled away. "Maybe you should go," she suggested.

"Maybe," he replied. But inside, he was asking himself the real reason why. He could see she was still struggling with her mother's death. Clearly, she wasn't ready to discuss it, and he respected that. He knew it took a long time to talk about the death of loved one.

Harry got up from the bed and glanced out the bedroom window. "It's nearly daybreak. I'd better get back to Hogwarts before someone discovers I'm missing." He would have gladly stayed all night and into the next day, but he didn't want to overstep his welcome. He picked up his invisibility cloak from the floor where he'd dropped it, and Eva got up to say goodbye. "Thank you, Eva. I really owe you."

She shook her head. "You don't owe me anything. What are friends for?"

Harry grinned broadly. Friends. Was that good enough for him? Somehow he found himself wanting more. He lingered in her doorway until she was standing directly in front of him. "Do you mind if I stop by again sometime?"

"As long as you don't get into anymore trouble," Eva said, "I don't see why not."

"And if you need anything, I'll be glad to help you out in any way." He thought back to Nora's long Christmas list on her desk. "If you need money..."

Eva crossed her arms over her chest, frowning. "I didn't ask for your help."

"I know you didn't ask. I'm offering."

"Well, stop offering!" she exploded. "I don't need it. Listen, I've been taking care of Nora for two years alone. I've been alone for all of this time. I don't need your help and I certainly don't need your money! It's insulting that you keep offering it to me!"

Harry held up his hands in a sign of surrender. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry. I won't do it again."

Eva cracked a smile and leaned in closer to him. Her hair was so close to him it brushed against his shoulder. He could smell her perfume and the smoke from the pub and Butterbeer they'd just drank.

"You know, Harry," she said. "You don't have to be so noble all of the time."

And as she leaned in closer, Harry felt her warm breath against his cheek. Sparks tingle down the back of his spine, the hair on the back of his neck standing on edge. She gently kissed his cheek with her soft lips.

"Some girls like rebels," she whispered. "Good night." She smiled innocently and quietly closed the door.