Harry Potter and the Last Goodnight

"Snape is crazy!" Ron shouted. The group of first years who Hermione had approached earlier glanced wearily at Ron and left for their dormitories. "If he expects me to follow through with his evil plan, he's got another thing coming!"

"What did he say, Ron?" Hermione asked.

"Is he going to let you take the N.E.W.T. class?" Harry questioned.

"Well, yes and no." Ron flopped into a chair at their table. "Snape said that he'll let me attend the N.E.W.T. potions class. Then I have to take the Potions O.W.L. exam again at the end of the year."

"That's good, isn't it?"

Ron shook his head. "Snape is going to make me go to every single N.E.W.T. Potions class and do all of the homework. Then, if I get an Outstanding, he'll consider passing me in the course."

"What does that mean?" Harry said.

"It means," Ron spat, "that I can do all the work for Potions, score an Outstanding on the O.W.L. exam, and he can still say that I never took the N.E.W.T. Potions class and I did all of the work for nothing."

"So basically, you'll be participating in class, but not be graded?" Hermione asked.

"Exactly. And he can just choose not to pass me. I asked him how do I know that he's not just going to make me do all of this work for nothing? And he folded those greasy hands of his into his lap and said, 'Well, Mr. Weasley, you'll just have to trust me.' Me? Trust Snape? I don't think so."

"But it's the only way," Hermione said. "Ron, if you really want to be an Auror, you've got to make some sacrifices."

"This is so stupid!" Ron exploded. "All because I got an E. An E isn't even bad! An E stands for excellent, damn it!"

"Settle down," Harry said. "Snape just wants to get you riled up, that's all."

"How do you know?" Ron demanded. "I don't know where this blind faith has suddenly come from, Harry, but you're mistaken. Snape doesn't care whether or not I become an Auror."

Harry held up his hands as a sign of a truce. "Hey, don't get mad at me."

"Harry's right," Hermione said. "You need to turn this anger into determination. You need to show Snape exactly what kind of Potions Master you are."

Ron's face hardened. He seemed to be considering everything in his mind. "You're right. I'll show him. Snape hasn't got anything over me. By the end of the year I'll have him convinced that I deserve to pass N.E.W.T. Potions!"

"That's the spirit!" Hermione cried.

Ron's face fell. "Except..."

"Except what?"

"Now that I'm not technically signed up for Potions, I had to get into a different class."

"Which class?" Hermione questioned.

"Herbology." Ron slammed his head onto the tabletop. "It was a stupid decision, I guess. The only other class that was open was Care of Magical Creatures. And after I heard Neville on the train, I thought, well, if Neville can do it, so can I. Now what did I get myself into? This year is going to be ten times harder."

"Ooh, but that's really good," Hermione said. "When you pass Potions, you'll have six N.E.W.T. classes. And if an extra one is Herbology, the Ministry will think a lot more of your application."

"Great." Ron yawned. "I'm sure it'll make mum and dad happy."

Hermione winked. "Percy would be proud."

Harry could tell that the two of them were going to go at it about Percy again, but before either one could open their mouths, he quickly interrupted them. "Look at it this way, Ron. Snape may have the power to not give you credit for the N.E.W.T. class, but at least he doesn't have the power to fail you."

The next morning, Harry was concentrating heavily on his breakfast in the Great Hall when Ginny sat down next to him. She had been very much herself and unusually comfortable around him ever since she kissed him. It had been quite the opposite for Harry. He hadn't told anyone what had happened the night before his birthday. He was afraid that if Ron found out, he may actually be upset and try to beat the living daylights out of him. Or worse: he'd encourage it.

"Morning," Ginny said cheerfully, helping herself to some muffins.

"Morning," Harry replied, staring into the depths of his bowl of porridge. He could barely hear her over the excited chatter of everyone in the Great Hall. The Heads of Houses were passing out class schedules to everyone.

"Ready for your first day of fifth year?" Hermione asked, sitting down across from them.

Ginny nodded. "I think so."

"Fifth year is hell," Ron said, sitting next to Hermione. "Although, I'm afraid my sixth will be just as bad. Make sure you score high on your O.W.L.s, Gin. Start studying now."

"What do you want to be?" Hermione questioned curiously. "Do you want to be an Auror too?"

Ginny snorted. "I'd rather be a troll guard." She chuckled. Then she looked around at the sullen faces around her. "No offense to you three. I just don't think that an Auror is up my alley. I mean, I like to lend a hand when I can, and I like the," she lowered her voice, "the D.A. meetings." She straightened up in her chair. "I just don't think I want to do it for a living. The chance that I may turn out like Mad-Eye is a little frightening."

Harry laughed. He couldn't blame her. He was almost relieved that Ginny wasn't looking into a career where she was risking her neck with every assignment she took.

"Speaking of D.A.," Hermione said, "are we going to round up the old crew?"

"Yeah!" Ginny cried. "Dean and Seamus already asked me about it. They're anxious to pick up where we left off last year."

"Even Seamus?" Harry asked. "He's only been to one meeting." Harry thought back to the year before, when the two of them had been at odds. Seamus's mother thought that Harry was dangerous, and she didn't want her son going to the same school as him, let alone sharing a dormitory.

"Well, I guess it made an impression on him," Ginny replied indifferently. "So what do you say Harry? Is D.A. reborn?"

Harry didn't know if he wanted the responsibility of teaching Defense of the Dark Arts to his closest friends and to those, namely Cho Chang, who were too close for comfort. He couldn't help worrying that he was going to get them all in way over their heads. He didn't know enough. He didn't trust himself to really prepare them for battle with Voldemort or any of the Death Eaters. After what happened at the end of the last year - when his desire to save Sirius overpowered his duty to keep his friends safe - he didn't trust himself with the role of D.A.'s leader. Sirius's blood was already on his hands.

He was just about to reject the idea of a reunion of Dumbledore's Army when McGonagall strolled past, handing out slips of parchment. "Class schedules," she said, giving one to each of them. Harry noticed that Ron's, Hermione's, and his all had their names on it, but Ginny's merely read "5th year." Their schedules were personalized.

"What have you got first?" Ron asked, eying Harry's schedule. "Muggle Studies?"

He nodded. "Who teaches it, anyway?"

"It's Professor Avis," Ron answered. "She and my dad get on real well. She's got more muggle gadgets and plugs than he does."

Somehow, Harry found that difficult to imagine. "How come I haven't seen her before?"

Ron shrugged. "She spends all of her free time with Muggles. Takes pictures and everything. Uses their money, buys their clothes. She even goes out to bars and to the picture shows. A real Muggle-friendly woman. Anytime dad has a question, he asks her first. Or you," he added. "Whoever is closer."

"Honestly, the two of you are wasting your time," Hermione said haughtily. "You already know about Muggles - especially you, Harry. You're not going to learn anything."

"You'd be surprised," Ron said. "And why are you so against Muggle Studies all of a sudden? You took it during your third year. What's the problem with it now?"

"Now," Hermione snapped, "we have better things to worry about. I took the class merely out of curiosity to see how wizards taught about Muggles. I didn't specifically learn anything I didn't already know. You don't even get to use your wand. Now that I think of it, it was a tad boring."

"Well, good," Ron answered. "I need a boring class. If I've got the N.E.W.T. Herbology and Potions, I'm going to needs a slack class."

However, Harry was feeling bad about wasting his time with a class about Muggles. He had lived as one for the first eleven years of his life. Maybe he should have taken Herbology instead. If he wasn't going to learn anything new, then why was he wasting his time when he could be spending it studying something important - something to do with being an Auror? And why had Mr. Weasley encouraged him to take the class, then?

Ron saw the look on his face. "Don't let Hermione get to you. She likes making people feel guilty for their decisions." This statement earned him a kick in the shin under the table. "Ouch! I think she's getting more violent as we get older, don't you?"

"What have you got first, 'Mione?" Harry asked.

"Arithmacy," she answered. "Then after lunch, I've got Defense Against the Dark Arts."

"Us too," Ron replied. "Looks like we've got basically the same schedule. Except I've got Herbology before dinner on Tuesdays and Thursdays."

Harry studied his schedule. He didn't have anything before lunch or dinner. Everyday he only had two classes for an hour and a half each. Now he felt really guilty for not taking harder classes. This year was going to be a piece of cake.

The Great Hall began to thin out as the time for the first bell to ring approached. Hermione said goodbye to Harry and Ron to go to Arithmacy. The two of them headed down the first floor corridor to the Muggle Studies classroom, which was next to a portrait of owls sitting on telephone lines. Harry realized that this was the only painting he'd seen at Hogwarts that had any indication of the existence of the Muggle world. The owls were sleeping on the telephone lines, and every few seconds one would give a small "hoot."

The room itself reminded Harry of a normal classroom from his primary school. There were about twenty individual metal desks set up in five neat rows. There was a wooden teacher's desk on the side of the classroom. It had a swivel chair behind it, along with some books, a day calendar, and a framed photo of a woman surrounded by some schoolchildren. Harry could only assume that the slightly pudgy woman with short, wavy blonde hair was Professor Avis. A shiny red apple sat on the corner of the desk, glinting in the sunlight from the window. Harry guessed it must have been a bewitched window because the room wasn't anywhere near real windows at Hogwarts. At the front of the classroom there wasn't a chalkboard, but a white dry-erase board with multi-colored markers. In the back of the classroom, there was a bookcase filled with Muggle children's books and a box of toys. The only thing that looked out of place was the old brick fireplace on the right-hand side of the classroom.

"Wow," Ron breathed. "She really went all out."

The two of them took seats near the front as other students poured in. Harry saw that their class was made up of mostly boys, except for a few girls from Hufflepuff, Padma Patil from Ravenclaw, her sister Parvati Patil, and Lavender Brown from Gryffindor. They all sat together at the front of the classroom, chatting nervously and studying the room around them. Luna Lovegood was also there, sitting alone in a corner. Justin Fitch-Fletchley and Ernie Macmillan sat with some other boys from Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff. There were no Slytherins in the class, though that didn't surprise Harry. Their general hatred for Muggles was a well-known truth. Draco Malfoy wouldn't be caught dead in a class about Muggles.

In fact, all of the boys from Harry's house were in the classroom. Dean and Seamus sat behind him and Ron, and Neville rushed into the classroom just before the bell rang. "I couldn't find the portrait!" he explained as he sat in the empty desk next to Harry. "When I walked by, there were only electric lines, no owls."

Moments after the first bell rang, the door from the classroom opened and shut, and the woman who Harry had seen in the photograph waltzed inside. Harry was impressed. She was dressed very muggle-like in a navy blue pinstriped business suit. Her hair was pulled back in a bun, secured by plastic clips. She even wore a matching scarf. But instead of wearing shoes, she was wearing floppy, bunny-eared slippers.

"Good morning, class," she said in a singsong voice. "My name is Professor Avis." She turned to the dry-erase board and wrote Professor Avis in loopy letters. "I don't think that I've had any of you as students before, but I'm very excited to introduce all of you to the Muggle world. I am honored to be teaching the N.E.W.T. Muggle Studies class, as I have been for the past sixteen years. However, this year is going to be very exciting, as the headmaster and I have come up with some new ways for all of you to learn about the fascinating lives of Muggles.

"The first thing I should tell you is that you won't be needing your wands for this class. I do not even want to see them out of your robes. We are going to learn about Muggles, like Muggles. I have a no magic policy inside of my classroom." She turned and wrote on the board, Rule #1: No magic. Harry saw some of the boys from Ravenclaw slip their wands back in their pockets, looking slightly disappointed. "Secondly, I do not have any tolerance for racism in my classroom. Anybody who says anything offensive about Muggles or their daily lives will be receiving detention immediately. One of the reasons this course exists is to teach tolerance of our human counterparts."

Tolerance. There was that word again. Harry was noticing a pattern. No tolerance for Dark Magic, no tolerance for Muggle racism. Was Dumbledore trying to prepare them for a war in which Muggles were involved?

Under the first rule, Professor Avis wrote #2: No racism. She continued to write Rule #3: Ask questions! "I understand that as a student coming from a family of only wizards, many of you have absolutely no knowledge of how the Muggle world works. Please, any of you, don't hesitate to ask questions. There are no dumb questions about Muggles, so don't be embarrassed to raise your hand and ask. They are truly fascinating creatures. It is amazing how we live side by side with them on the same planet."

Professor Avis walked over to her desk and produced some sheets of paper. It was not parchment, but bleached white Muggle paper. She handed them out to the first person in each row and they passed them back. On the top it read Syllabus. And Harry was quite sure that the syllabus had been typed out on a computer and photocopied, which couldn't have been done on the grounds of Hogwarts. Professor Avis really went all out to maintain her no-magic policy.

"In addition to your textbook, A Guide to Muggle Survival, I will also be handing out other books to you." There were audible groans from some of the students. However, she smiled when she heard them. "These books will usually be fiction novels, and I assure you, they will not be mundane reading. Muggles are captivating, and so is their literature. Now, if you'll all take a look at your syllabus," she held up the paper she had just passed out, "I'll discuss what we'll be studying and when we'll be studying it."

She cleared her throat. "Our first unit will be about Muggle life. We'll be studying the common Muggle inside its natural habitat. We'll discuss the differences between our daily actions and theirs. The second unit is going to be about science, or how Muggles survive without magic," she explained. "This will probably prove to be the most difficult topic to understand, but we won't be tackling it until around November. Our third unit is going to deal strictly with tolerance. How we tolerate muggles and muggles tolerate us. We will be discussing how Muggles come up with their explanations that magic doesn't exist and some of the philosophies behind those who did believe. The fourth and final unit will be the shortest, but it discusses the most important part of this class. If you'll all please take a look at your syllabus..."

Harry glanced at the paper in front of him. It read, Unit #4: Why the Wizarding World Must Remain Secret.

"This concept is also sometimes hard for young wizards to understand. There have been many students who disagree with keeping the magical world a secret, but there are many reasons why Muggles aren't ready to be exposed to the wizarding world. Professor Dumbledore and I have decided that we will be having a debate at the end of the year, in front of the entire school, as to whether or not Muggles should be aware of the existing magical world.

"This is just one of the events I have planned for this year," Professor Avis continued. "Every Wednesday afternoon, at the beginning of class, a special guest speaker will discuss their interaction with Muggles on a daily basis. But I'll wait until Wednesday to make any sort of introductions."

"Finally, the Headmaster has agreed to allow us to do something very exciting on Halloween." She paused, as though she were waiting for every head in the classroom to look up at her. "We will be taking a field trip to London, where we will interact with Muggles on one of the most magical nights of the year."

The classroom burst into chatter. He could tell that Ron was excited. Harry didn't know if he'd been to London for anything other than catching the Hogwarts Express or visiting the Ministry of Magic.

Professor Avis shushed them. "In fact," she said, "it may be the only night where a class like ours can blend into the Muggle World, unnoticed as outsiders. Not to mention that it is a relatively stress-free Muggle holiday, so most of them will be in very friendly moods. We can also participate in the longtime Muggle tradition called Trick-or-Treating."

There were gasps from the class. Harry laughed. He wondered if they were going to need costumes or not. He had the mental image of twenty sixteen-year-old wizards knocking on the door to someone's flat, crying out "Trick-or-Treat!"

Muggle Studies may be an easy class, Harry thought, but at least they were going to have some fun.