Unwanted

Unwanted

*****

Dear Father,

All that I did was walk over

Start off by shaking your hands

That's how it went

I had a smile on my face

And I sat up straight.

Remember the day I was born, Father? Mom brought me home and immediately I sensed that you were my father. I loved you from the beginning, and I always wanted to please you. All of my childhood, I did whatever you wanted, even if I thought it was wrong, because it was what you wanted. And you never told me you were proud. You never told me you appreciated what I did for you. You never even acknowledged me unless you needed me to do something for you or you needed to maintain your image as a good father.

Oh ya ya

I wanted to know you

I wanted to show you

I wanted you to see how much I loved you. I wanted you to see everything I did for you. I wanted you to just notice me!. I wanted you to act like I was something other than invisible. I wanted to be friends with you and I wanted you to want to be friends with me.

You don't know me

Don't ignore me

You don't want me there

You just shut me out

You never appreciated me. You never wanted me. You just ignored me all of my life. When I'm at school all you do is scold, and when I'm home you ignore me and shut me out. It's like you don't want me to do well. You'd much rather I die than I be your son, wouldn't you? If you had things the way you wanted them, I'd be gone, and you wouldn't have to worry about kids.

No, I just don't understand why you won't talk to me

It hurts that I'm so unwanted for nothing

Don't talk words against me.

I know you don't want me, but I'm here, and there's nothing you can do about it, so can you at least talk to me? Acknowledge me, tell me I've done something right, or just tell me I've done something. Or tell all of your friends that I'm doing the best of all the Slytherin students in my class. Anything, please, I feel like you don't love me. I did nothing to you and still you don't want me. I don't understand it.

You don't know me

Don't ignore me

If you had your way

You'd just shut me up

Make me go away.

Please, Father, just tell me that you want me around. You're a great man and I understand that you're busy, but can you at least try to be a father? Don't ignore me, don't shut me out, please don't act like you don't know me. Please, Father, PLEASE!

I tried to belong It didn't seem wrong

My head aches.

It's been so long I'll write the song

If that's what it take

I tried everything to get you to like me, but nothing works. Really, Father, I feel like I;'ve failed you. And it makes me sick to try so much and get no acknowledgment from you that I even exist. I know you must be tired of reading this by now, Father, but this is the only way I can get through to you. I need to get through to you, I need you to understand what you've done to me.

You're not a father. You never were a father. And you never will be one. I've given you chance after chance to be kind to me, to at least show that you cared a little. But you never did. You never cared, and you never even pretended to care. I've given up on you. You never wanted to be a father, and when you became one, you just pretended it had never happened. Well guess what: I'm here. You can't ignore me. You can't pretend I'm not here. Unless I leave.

So now I've done the one thing that will really make you happy. I've left. I'm gone, and nobody knows where. I hope that this letter helps you for the next time you plan on being a father. But you're not my father anymore. You ignored me, so I've left your life. Good-bye.

Not-So-Fondly,

Draco