Flamboyantly Flippant Fool

Flamboyantly Flippant Fool

Harry sat in the library, his right leg crossed over his left knee with his foot bobbing to a random tune that was going through his head as he flipped through pages in a book for his essay. He was avoiding Gryffindor Common Room at the moment, considering the guys made it a habit of asking awkward questions and the girls asked him his opinion on their clothing choices since he came out of the closet. Honestly, he hadn't changed that much. To his knowledge, he was exactly the same as he was before. Only now he could be honest when Cho dropped hints about her having a new boyfriend. He smirked to himself as he sucked on the tip of his sugar quill. That was a satisfying announcement. Of course, coming out wasn't on purpose. It just happened. Cho was close to dragging Harry to the Room of Requirement to attract his attention when she was shagging her then boyfriend.

"Oh, Harry. Hi. How're you? Love life blank? Well, mine is rather exciting. Changing all the time. I'm going out with Seamus Finnegan now. But I'm thinking about dumping him for Theodore Nott. Maybe that seventh year Hufflepuff bloke who's been giving me eyes for a while now. Well, what do you think? Hm, Harry? I think I should get your opinion so it isn't awkward if you see me and someone else together, considering our history," Cho said.

"Cho, I'm gay. Now go off, shag your boyfriends, I don't care. I am GAY! Who ever you're thinking of shagging, I probably thought of it, too. Go away now and stop being jealous over Hermione and stop trying to get me jealous over whatever guy you're dating. I'm going to go and find some guy to snog with now. Good bye," Harry said. Of course, when he turned around to leave her with her jaw hanging to the ground he then noticed that he had made that announcement to nearly the entire student body. He expected Draco to make some stupid homophobic joke to taunt Harry some more, but surprisingly, as he passed Draco, he didn't make one. He simply watched Harry pass by; his eyes round with what looked like mild shock and interest.

Harry relived the memory with amusement in his thoughts as he scanned a page in the great book. He smirked amusedly to himself when he remembered Ron's expression. And speak of the devil, Ron walked into the library with Hermione just then.

"Hi, Harry," Hermione said cheerily with a smile. Harry smiled back, still a little miffed at her. When he shouted his homosexuality, Hermione turned to the Gryffindor girls and collected money from all her dorm mates.

"Er...Hi," Ron said uncomfortably. Harry took this opportunity with sadistic humour. He winked rather enthusiastically and planted a great smile on his face.

"Hey hot stuff," he said loudly. Ron gave an awkward chuckle and shuffled to Harry, his ears burning bright red.

"Harry...You know you're my friend and..."

"Ron, I would never dream of sleeping with you. Stop acting like everything's so weird. I haven't changed one bit. I'm still the Boy-Who-Lived...I'm just now the Boy-Who-Lived-Who-Likes-Other-Living-Boys." Hermione chuckled as she took a book off the shelf. Ron smiled feebly.

"Speaking of that...are you going to bring guys into the dormitory?" Ron asked. Harry rolled his eyes.

"No, I'm not. There's that one thing known as the Room of Requirement that the rest of the student body has been abusing ever since they've discovered they enjoy sex also," Harry replied, scribbling something down on his essay.

"Hm, I wondered about that," Hermione said. "I mean, a bunch of hormone ridden teenagers locked up in a great castle for most of seven years. I figured they'd go to the Astronomy Tower, but teachers often patrol that area."

"I thought everyone got down in broom closets," Ron said. Hermione looked sickened.

"Eurgh! Do you know how unsanitary that would be? And what if Filch came in on them? That would make any girl decide to be a nun."

"Nun?" Ron asked blankly.

"Never mind," Hermione said, giving up on explaining Muggle things to him. Ron looked at Harry. Harry shrugged, feeling the same as Hermione. Ron sat in ignorance. Harry smirked, brushing a strand of hair out of his face, and continued sucking on his Sugar Quill.

"You know what, Harry. I'm so proud of you coming out of the closet that next time I'm in Hogsmeade I'm going to buy you one of those nifty rainbow flags with the moving marquee that says 'I'm queer, I don't care if you sneer, girls don't come near'," Hermione said. Harry looked up.

"That's a terrible rhyme," Harry said. Hermione shrugged.

"I wish I made a bet on your sexuality when I had the chance," Ron grumbled. "I'd be rolling in dough."

"I'm so blessed to have such supportive friends," Harry said dryly. Just then, Draco and his cronies came strutting in.

"Oh, god. Here's Malfoy. Harry, whatever he says, know that he's just doing the same thing he's been doing for the past six years. Pay no attention to him," Hermione said, grimacing in Malfoy's direction. Harry shrugged.

"Surprisingly, he hasn't made a stab at me. Maybe he's gay, too," Harry replied.

"Ooh! Who wants to place bets!" Ron asked suddenly. Hermione and Harry ignored him and watched Draco pass by. Draco glanced at Harry, his expression unclear.

"Well, now it's clear why you've been hanging out with such a homely Mudblood, Potter," Draco sneered. "However, why you hang out with him is a mystery to me. Weasels aren't the most attractive of creatures."

"You know, ferrets are a type of weasel," Hermione retorted. Draco glared at her and sauntered to Madame Pince to check out his book.

"Homophobe!" Ron growled. Hermione, however, watched him leave.

"Surprisingly enough, he merely called us names and not Harry. He sort of insinuated that since Harry's now into guys he's too good to hang out with us," Hermione said. Ron snorted.

"I don't buy that one bit." Harry, however, said nothing.

Harry had left the library, getting sickened of the heterosexuality between Hermione and Ron's relationship, and decided to take a stroll along the corridors. It was a Friday and he had no homework and classes were over. He thought this was a very good day. No homework, no classes, no worries. Yay. He wanted to skip to show his joy. He stopped in the middle of the hall, looked around to make sure no one was in sight, and started skipping.

"La-di-da-di-da, I'm skipping down the hall. I'm queer, don't sneer, and girls don't you come near," he sang out.

"That is a terrible rhyme," came out a voice. "My god, you think just because you're a fruit cake that you can go around skipping like some happy-go-lucky idiot? My god, you're taking the rainbow logo too much to heart by skipping like that." Harry spun around and saw Draco saunter into view.

"What do you want?" Harry snarled. Draco looked unabashed.

"I'm simply trying to give advice, you flamboyantly flippant fool," Draco replied smoothly. "Just because you've embraced your inner homo doesn't mean that you have to insult the rest of us by acting like a schoolgirl."

"Oh, and you know how I should act?" Draco smirked.

"Of course I do. You think a straight man could possibly look this good?" Harry decided he had a point. "Come with me to the Room of Requirement, and I'll show you how keep people from sneering and still be queer."

Draco grabbed Harry's hand and dragged him off to the third floor. For reasons unclear to him, shagging his nemesis sounded more exciting than shagging someone he liked. Stifling a giggle and controlling his wish to skip, he followed Draco into the Room of Requirement.