Trust

Ron and Harry have given up. I didn´t think it was possible of them, but apparently it is. They have given up. Them. The Boy Who Lived and his faithful sidekick. I know I have teased them mercifully about that nickname for years now, but never once did I think it would be possible that they wouldn´t live up it.

Ron won´t look at me. He is sitting next to Harry, who is between us, and his eyes are downcast. Seems he would rather focus on a pebble than me. Not that I could blame him. I suppose this is all my fault. If I´d never have gotten mixed with him...

But there is no point dwelling on `what ifs´. Ron would love this, if it wasn´t for us about to get killed. Me, wrong? He´d have a field day. The truth is, this is all my fault. It´s my fault we´re sat here, chained to a wall without our wands. It´s my fault that Lord Voldemort is going to kill us any second now.

It´s my fault that I trusted Draco Malfoy.

Ron and Harry are so different to Draco. Draco has an air about him, like he permanently knows something that no one else does. He is always in control. I have never seen Draco Malfoy flustered, or confused. I have never seen him scared. I suppose that is one of the things that made me trust him. Around Draco, you don´t have to worry about anything. He´ll know what to do, know what´s coming next. Ron, on the other hand, would panic. Ron panicking is a regular occurrence. But even in a situation which causes him to panic, Ron will still come out on top. Maybe panicking works for him, I don´t know, but he will always defeat what is in his way. Part of the reason he is so brave is because Harry needs him to be.

Now Harry, well Harry is most probably the bravest person I have ever met. I don´t just mean in the `I-defeat-scary-things´ way, I mean you can tell he´s brave, just by looking at him. He radiates this sort of feel, a nice, secure one. What you see is what you get with him, nothing else. Around him, you feel safe.

I don´t know when I first started to feel safe around Draco. It was strange at first, like I didn´t want to be feeling that way around him, but I had no choice. Draco Malfoy even has a way of dominating your actions, your thoughts, you. You can´t help but trust him. At first I wondered what the fuss was about him. I mean, he is a good looking guy, anyone will tell you that, but he is nothing special, not in a Harry or Ron sort of way. But then I trusted him, and he becomes special in his own little Draco sort of way. I thought that was a good thing, that maybe everything would be alright.

Of course, it didn´t turn out like that.

Harry and Ron were never pleased about my friendship with Draco. Ron refused to talk to me for two days, while Harry flittered in-between us like he normally does. Thinking about it, it makes me smile how Harry would feel the same as Ron, but he´d rather we all were friends than let some silly argument get in the way.

I could tell Harry didn´t like me trusting Draco. While Ron would stomp away and not talk to me, Harry would just sit there, ignoring me. Acting like I wasn´t there. Now when you´re so used to feeling secure and safe around Harry, it isn´t the easiest thing in the world to be blanked by him. It´s like you´ve lost a part of you; a rib or an arm or some other random body part. You feel un-whole. It´s easier to deal with Ron. He´ll storm around, muttering things under his breath that you can so easily snap back at. Snapping back at Harry when he hasn´t even said anything to you isn´t so easy.

I remember clearly the first thing Draco said to me.

"Shut up, you dirty Mudblood."

He didn´t even know me, yet he was still insulting me. Thinking back on it, it makes me feel sick. Draco Malfoy makes me feel sick. The way he acts and really just the way he is. But most of all, it makes me sick that he tricked Harry and Ron.

It was obvious right from the start that Harry and Ron were never going to fully trust Draco. After a while, Harry would turn a blind eye whenever he was mentioned, but Ron would still mutter obscenities under his breath. "Oh, be quiet, Ron!" I´d say, or "Leave Draco alone!" Now, I can´t believe I even bothered. Gradually, Harry started to see what I had begun to trust and even like about Draco. Ron never saw, he declared many a time that he would never ever trust a Malfoy. Ron might not have Draco´s control, or Harry´s bravery, but he always knows what is right and what is wrong. Trusting Draco Malfoy was wrong.

Draco started to act strange. He was always on edge, snapping at everyone. I didn´t know what to do, it was like being in First Year all over again and being picked on mercifully by him. That `I´m in control´ barrier was slipping, getting Draco so worked up all the time. Then he completely lost it. He turned on everyone, practically biting all our heads off right in the Great Hall before turning on his heel and striding out of there. Ron walked around with an `I-told- you-so´ look on his face for days.

I tried to ask him what was wrong. I wanted to help him.

"Just go away, Granger!"

Granger. He hadn´t called me that for a long, long time. It was scary, as if it just didn´t fit. Many times I tried to get him to open up to me, but there is no chance you can get a Malfoy to open up to anyone. They just don´t know how.

Then he was always distracted, as if he was concentrating on something else. His grades slipped, but he didn´t seem to care. He´d just sit there in class, his eyes glazed and looking far away, like he was thinking about something completely different.

Now, of course, I know what was giving him so much trouble. Well, I say the word `trouble´ as if he didn´t want to do what he did. As if he didn´t want to turn us into Voldemort.

I can see him now. He is stood the other side of this room, leaning on the wall with his arms folded. He isn´t looking in our direction; he has that far away expression again. Good. I hope he can´t even bare to look at us. His eyes are grey and cold, like ice. I remember the times those eyes laughed with me, cried with me. Looked happy. If I had any energy left in me at all, I would laugh out loud. I would laugh until Draco stared at me, forcing him to see what he´s done. I would laugh until Voldemort comes back and kills us, one by one.

As if on cue, the door by Draco opens, and Voldemort sweeps in. He doesn´t walk; he seems to hover above ground, although you wouldn´t be able to tell as his black robes skim the floor. His eyes are colder than Draco´s, small and beady like black holes. He doesn´t look like a man, he is so distorted and un-human-like it doesn´t seem possible. Cold air filters in, making me shiver. I know Harry is glaring at him, hating him even more than I could.

"Draco," Voldemort says. His voice echoes off the rafters, still sounding as he continues, "It is time."

Draco stands up straight, looks towards us. He doesn´t look at me, or Harry, he is fixed firmly on Ron. He strides across the concrete floor, grabbing the chains that locks Ron in and undoes them, dragging Ron with him back over the floor. Ron kicks and screams, trying to break free. Draco holds on to his robes tightly, his unfazed expression not even breaking as Ron catches him again and again, connecting with him wherever he can.

Draco throws Ron on to the floor infront of Lord Voldemort. He has our wands twirling in his fingers. Ron tries to get up, but he looks drained. There is no colour left in him now, just his bright red hair standing out against the dull and dark.

"This is for Harry Potter," Lord Voldemort says, smirking towards us. Harry is struggling to stand up, screaming at Ron to move, to run, to just get away, "and this is for you, Mudblood. This is for trust."

I am crying, tears streaming down my face and mixing with the dirt and dust that was already there. I try to find my voice, but it´s no longer there. I don´t want to watch, but I can´t pull my eyes away as Voldemort steps towards Ron.

Draco is leaning against the wall again, looking bored. I want to scream, tell him how much I hate him and how I wish he could die and how he´ll never be above Ron or Harry or anyone, but I can´t. The tears are making my vision blurred and I start to feel so ill that I´m sure my up-chuck reflexes will come into play anytime soon.

There is nothing I can do, except wish that I never had trusted Draco Malfoy.