The Family Name

The Family Name

By Slytherin Tattoo

Chapter 14

Two days later, the diary still wasn't talking, and the Gryffindors were insisting they wanted it back. Artemis admitted to himself that he was feeling frustrated.

After his last class, he went back to his dorm, sat on the floor with his back propped against the bed, and stared at the diary.

Crabbe and Goyle wandered in a few minutes later. "What are you doing?" they asked him.

He looked up at them with a strange gleam in his eyes. "What do you guys do when you want to make somebody talk and he won't?"

"Threaten him," Goyle answered at once.

Crabbe nodded. "And if he still won't talk, beat his face in until he does."

"Yes," Artemis said. "Indeed."

"Fowl, you've got a weird look. It's kind of scary."

"Hmm? Oh, not to worry, not to worry." He got out ink, uncapped it, got out quill, dipped it in ink. He opened the book on his lap, disguised his handwriting--which Riddle thought was Potter's. And he wrote, "Riddle, we've been very polite and patient. Neville appealed to you as a fellow Slytherin and son of a girl you once dated. Potter has appealed to your compassion to save other people's lives, even if they are Muggles. Now they've turned you over to me."

He waited a moment. "Who are you?" finally appeared.

"My name is Artemis Fowl the Second and your choice is this: tell me about the Chamber and its secrets or this diary burns."

"No!" came the immediate reply. "I'm alive in here!"

"That's strange, you look like a book to me. Inanimate. Dead. Meanwhile, there are a few very much alive people out here who I don't want to see killed by some fanged beast!"

"The beast was Hagrid's spider! I can show you if you'd like!"

"No way. I don't trust you."

A pause. "Why do you think the beast was fanged?"

It's a snake, Artemis realized, like the flash of a camera going off. Slytherin talked to snakes. Potter heard a voice no one else could hear because he understands Parseltongue and nobody else does.

His fingers tightened on the quill as he wrote, "Because Potter isn't the first Parselmouth to attend Hogwarts in 300 years. You're one."

"How can a snake Petrify anyone?" Riddle argued.

Good question. With poison?

"Is that book writing back to you?" Goyle asked in amazement.

Artemis looked behind him. Leaning across his bed from the other side, Crabbe and Goyle were both trying to read over his shoulder.

"Yes. Go run off to Draco now, OK?"

"Fine," Goyle sighed. "We never know what's going on anymore," he complained to Crabbe as the two left the dorm.

Turning back to the diary, Artemis scrawled out, "You tell me."

"I don't know because I didn't open the Chamber!" Tom replied.

"5 seconds, 4 syllables, 1 spell. Incendio," Artemis wrote, forcing himself to complete calm.

The edges of the pages rustled a bit, as if someone had just walked by and stirred the air. "No burning! I didn't kill Myrtle!"

Myrtle. Moaning Myrtle. The ghost of the girls' bathroom.

Spiders, water, and scorch marks. A cat, a boy, a camera, another boy, a ghost. . .

He reached under his bed and pulled out Fantastic Creatures, thumbed through it until he found a certain entry, and read it carefully. He tapped the page for a moment, then went and dug through Malfoy's trunk for a book he remembered seeing once. He found it, opened it up, and read about the King of Serpents. Then he smiled.

He picked up the diary and wrote, "You lie as much as any Slytherin, but I don't blame you. As it happens, I know what the creature is. I know why you opened the Chamber. I know everything."

"Good for you. Then quit bothering me." The writing had grown large and dark, as if the writer was annoyed and pressing down hard with his quill.

"If I did that," Artemis retorted, "you wouldn't believe that I'd been serious. I may have further questions, and I want to impress upon you that you should not lie to me."

Whereupon he tore out the endmost page and took up his wand. "Incendio," he said, and the page burst into flames.

"Stop it!" The ink ran down a bit, as if the words wept.

Artemis let the page burn down to ashes, then locked the diary away in his trunk. He had some things to look up in the library.

___________ ___________

Leaving the library, Artemis passed Granger going in. He smiled at her. She looked confused, then suspicious. "Why are you smiling?"

"Maybe I'm just happy to see you," he suggested.

"No, seriously, why are you smiling?"

"Because. . . I am not left-handed."

She blinked. "Princess Bride quote?" He nodded. "Meaning, you know something I don't know?"

"Just find out for me how Moaning Myrtle died."

"All right. I'll ask her. Oh, and Riddle's middle name--it's Marvolo."

___________ ____________

Draco hesitated a moment, then crossed the common room and sat down next to Fowl. Zabini and Bulstrode looked up from where they were quizzing each other on Potions homework. Fowl raised his eyebrows and met Malfoy's gaze.

"Got an owl from my father," he plunged in. "I asked him about the Ministry of Magic--remember, I said I would."

Artemis nodded. They leaned a bit closer and lowered their voices. Blaise and Millicent had stopped working and were frankly eavesdropping.

"They're not watching you right now, because they haven't figured out a way to breach Hogwarts without alerting Dumbledore. But you're still in the back of their minds. Especially with this whole Heir of Slytherin thing. If it did turn out to be you, they won't be surprised." He shifted a bit in his seat. "Father says you're dangerous for one so young and you're sure to cause trouble. I should keep a close eye on you and let him know of any important developments. But he doesn't think you have anything to do with the Chamber."

"Why not?"

"He didn't say."

"So, will you be keeping an eye on me?"

Draco smirked at that. "I always keep an eye on you, Fowl. But. . . he doesn't need to know that."

Artemis's eyebrows rose again. Malfoy was actually keeping secrets from his father? Was that some kind of break-through?

"Well. Interesting. Thanks for asking."

Now it was Draco's turn to look shocked. "Did you just thank me?"

"You did say I'm unpredictable."

Draco leaned back in his chair. "True. You're a complicated guy, Fowl. But I'm still better looking."

Millicent snorted. Draco and Artemis turned to look at her and Zabini. "What?"

"Oh, nothing. Draco is very attractive. But. . . well. . . there's just something about Artemis's Irish accent. . ."

Zabini laughed. Artemis winced. Draco looked sour. "Traitor," he said.

__________ ___________

The next few days were busy for Artemis. He earned roughly 10 points per class by answering teachers' questions about lessons. He watched his House soundly defeat Ravenclaw in a Quidditch match. He managed to avoid becoming involved in a food fight at lunch by the narrowest of margins. He discovered House elves.

They came in to clean up the mess at the Slytherin table (the Fifth Years had declared war on the Sixth Years for being overly condescending regarding OWLs and the other years started throwing food at the other Houses so they wouldn't be the only ones covered in shepherd's pie and leek and barley soup).

"What are those?" Artemis whispered to Chevalier, stopping dead on his way to the door.

"House elves. All wealthy wizarding families have them. They do the cooking and cleaning and stuff. They're attached to a family all their lives. They have to obey them. Unless they're freed, by their master giving them clothes. This almost never happens."

"They're basically slaves then." Artemis scrutinized them; they didn't look as if they were suffering and downtrodden, only poorly dressed.

"Yes. . . but they're normally well treated and don't want to be freed."

"Are they classified as fairies? Can they do magic?"

"I don't know! They're just house elves. But yes, they do magic. Come on, Artemis. We're going to be late for class."

Did Holly and the LEP Recon forces know about this? Did they consider house elves to be enslaved? Surely not or they would have done something. What did the house elves themselves think? Whose side were they on? Were they loyal to Dumbledore? How many years did they live? Would they know anything about the Chamber?

He resolved to see what he could do about finding answers.

___________ ___________

The next morning, Artemis walked into breakfast with Zabini and then demanded to know who was to blame. The walls were covered with huge flowers of a shocking Pepto-bismal pink. Heart shaped confetti fell from the ceiling. Zabini groaned and pointed at Lockhart, dressed in that same lurid pink. "Happy Valentine's Day!" the professor shouted. The other teachers winced, looking pained and--appropriately enough--rather constipated.

"I have taken the liberty of arranging this little surprise for you!" Lockhart continued. "And let me thank the 46 people who have sent me cards so far!"

Zabini snorted. Malfoy leaned across the table and nudged Pansy. "Did you send him one of those big lacy, glittery ones?" She blushed.

Lockhart clapped his hands and 12 surly dwarfs wearing gold wings entered the Hall. They were carrying harps. Crabbe and Goyle's mouths dropped open. "My friendly card-carrying cupids will be roving around school today delivering your valentines!"

Artemis rolled his eyes. "We should have bribed Snape to take him out in that duel."

"I think we could convince him to do it now," Bulstrode grinned as Lockhart urged the students to ask Snape for love potions.

It was much later, as they were walking to class, that two dwarves, each with a musical Valentine, blocked the corridor. "I'll go first," said one of the dwarves. "No, I will!" argued the other.

"No, I will," repeated the first. "Mine's right there. Oy, you! 'arry Potter!" He elbowed a crowd of people out of the way as students gathered to watch with amusement.

Potter, Artemis noted, was flushed a deep red, and trying to escape, but was prevented when the dwarf grabbed his bag. Potter struggled, and his bag ripped, spilling its contents.

Malfoy pushed his way forward, almost stepping on Ginny Weasley in order to insult Potter. Harry stuffed everything back in his bag as the dwarf began to sing, "His eyes are as green as a fresh pickled toad, his hair is as dark as a blackboard. I wish he was mine, he's really divine, the hero who conquered the Dark Lord."

The audience burst into laughter. The other dwarf cleared its throat. "Right. My turn. Artemis Fowl!"

Artemis suddenly understood why Potter had attempted to run. He felt Malfoy's smirking eyes turn on him and debated whether hexing the dwarf would get him expelled, and if so, why not hex Malfoy as well? Oh, if only Butler were here to squash the troubadour before it came to this!

Finally he sighed and nodded. "Get it over with."

The dwarf strummed his harp and sang, "If your brain were as big as your ego, you'd be the smartest one here. If girls liked you as much as you liked yourself, you'd get valentines all year. Alas, it's not so! It's time that you know! You're only a second-rate boy. For never can a Fowl compare to the wonderful Malfoy!"

Even Zabini laughed, and Draco positively gloated.

Artemis simply looked at him. "You will pay, you know. How about I transfigure your racing broom into a boa constrictor?"

"Then Potter can set it on you," added Zabini.

Artemis looked at Blaise. "I don't need Potter's help in getting revenge."

Zabini took a step backward. Malfoy remained undaunted. "Just can't stand admitting anybody else's cleverness, can you, Fowl?"

"Not at all. If I see anybody around here being clever, I'll be sure to mention it."

"Break it up now, come on, break it up," came the voice of Percy Weasley, causing the other students to finally remember they had classes and start moving on.

Draco crossed his arms, feeling put out. He spotted Ron, Ginny, and Potter, who had stopped to watch the show-down. "I don't think Potter liked your valentine," he called to Ginny. "Fowl didn't seem to appreciate my hard work, either. I'm disappointed in them both. After all, what gives a boy who has just had his eyes described as fresh pickled toads the right to complain?"

Ginny hid her face and ran into her classroom. Ron scowled at Draco, who shrugged. "Everybody's a critic."

Artemis never cracked a smile, but his eyes suddenly seemed amused. "I'm staying in my room for the next major holiday, how about you?" he said to Potter, then nodded to Zabini. "Let's go."

He started down the hall. Draco, smirking, turned to his own cadre. "Don't worry. I paid well to make sure none of us will get any singing valentines. Let's go."

____________ ____________