The Family Name

The Family Name

By Slytherin Tattoo

Copyright 2003

Timeline:

After the end of Artemis Fowl Book 1

Just before and during Harry Potter Book 2 (Chamber of Secrets)

An owl landed on an open window, carrying two messages. Juliet was the one to let it in. She informed Artemis and Mrs. Fowl right away. The 12-year-old boy and his mother stared at one another, then at their letters. Mrs. Fowl smiled, shrugged, and opened hers up. Artemis studied his.

"To Artemis Fowl, Fowl Manor, Ireland," read the envelope. He could not imagine who had sent it, try though he did. Finally he opened the letter. "Dear Mr. Fowl, we are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Due to various circumstances, your magical training has been delayed somewhat, but that will not be a problem. We are confident that with basic tutoring this summer, you will be able to start school as a second year, with other students your own age. You would need to report to the castle of Hogwarts on June 15. Enclosed is your list of all necessary books and equipment. . ." Artemis had read this three times before his mother spoke.

"This letter informs me that magic actually exists, that you are a wizard, and that wizards and witches have been in the Fowl line since its beginnings. They want you to attend wizards' school."

Artemis nodded.

"What do you think, Arty?"

"I. . ." How to respond? He was honestly stunned. For a few seconds, he thought his brain had actually stopped thinking, and that was a phenomenon undreamt of all by itself. He had known magic was real for some time, of course. He had discovered the existence of magic and fairies all on his own, and a good 6 months previously had captured and held for ransom a member of the LEP Recon police, met a kleptomaniac dwarf, outwitted a centaur, been a witness to the stoppage of time, a battle with a troll, and fairy healing powers. He owed his mother's regained sanity to it, in fact.

"I can believe it. . ."

"You know what? So can I." She looked thoughtful for a moment. "But what I meant was, what do you think about studying there? Would you want to? What are your career plans?"

"My career plans? To carry on the Fowl name, create Fowl Enterprises. Patents. Investments." Illegal activities, he added, but not out loud. Did magic fit into these things? And what did they mean, his training had been delayed?

"Look at some of the things you'd be studying! Potions, Charms, Herbology, Transfiguration, Defense Against the Dark Arts. . . oh my!"

But Artemis had taken hold of one word and started mentally exploring the possibilities. Transfiguration. Turning something into something else. Say. . . lead into gold?

"I think I'd like to try it," Artemis said firmly.

____________ ______________

Angeline Fowl's letter described a place where they could get all his school supplies: Diagon Alley. It gave instructions how to get there. They would start by acquiring his first year supplies for the summer.

"We'll all go to London this weekend, then," Mrs. Fowl decided happily.

"All?" Artemis tried to hide his dismay.

"Certainly! This place sounds exciting!"

Artemis shuddered.

____________ ____________

Juliet was jumpy. She was also fascinated, as was Angeline. The two ladies walked in front, wide-eyed, with Artemis a few steps behind, trying to pretend he wasn't with them, and Butler a step behind him, senses heightened, checking for traps and assassins.

The two days before this outing Artemis had spent investigating every possible source regarding witches, wizards, and Hogwarts School, and had come up with quite a bit of information regarding theories, Diagon Alley, Gringotts Bank, the Ministry of Magic, Albus Dumbledore, purebloods, Muggles, the school and its founders, a bloke called the Boy Who Lived, and a wizard tyrant called the Dark Lord, He Who Must Not Be Named, Voldemort. He was frankly amazed.

Now they were all striding along, trying not to look like they were gawking.

"Ooh! Look at that! The pictures move!" Juliet squealed.

Well, most of them were.

"Oh, look at the kitties, they're adorable!" Mrs. Fowl clapped her hands.

OK, half their group.

"Look at the robes!" Juliet cried. "And the pointy hats!"

A couple turned around. "Are you insulting our hats?"

"No, they're adorable!" Juliet was beside herself with glee.

The couple shook their heads and walked away. A large, stocky man stopped and sneered at her. "How did a Muggle get in here? We're not a tourist attraction!"

Juliet started to flush. She didn't know what a Muggle was, but she understood his tone of voice. "There's no call to be rude."

The man laughed. It was not a nice laugh. Butler moved to stand beside his sister, but before he could get any closer, she had grabbed the man's arm, twisted him around, and suplexed him. It looked quite painful.

"So that's what a suplex is," Artemis mused. "I'd been wondering."

"I'm not going to allow Juliet to watch so much wrestling any more." Mrs. Fowl winced, horrified.

Everyone in the vicinity had stopped to watch, but most appeared amused, as the man wasn't very popular. From further down the street, however, more people were rushing towards them. "This may be a good time to make ourselves scarce," Butler whispered to Artemis.

"Right." Artemis took charge. "Well, first things first. Books. This store seems promising." He stepped across the street and into Flourish and Blott's. The others followed.

Artemis had to admit, all those books excited him. They were full of hidden knowledge, waiting for him to soak it up, promising secrets to be revealed. He picked out the books on his list and added a few more just for curiosity. What would there be to do besides read, anyway? He'd discovered to his extreme dismay that most forms of technology wouldn't work at Hogwarts--cell phones, computers, not even electricity! He'd almost changed his mind about going, until he'd rigged some of the fairy technology he'd stolen into a combination computer-communicator. He had to keep up on his illegal enterprises, his search for his father... and be able to keep in touch with Butler, of course. He was pretty sure they wouldn't allow his bodyguard to camp out in his dorm room.

Artemis shook his head and remembered what he was doing. He checked out the window. The crowds had mostly dispersed, and the man Juliet had injured was gone. "On to dress robes."

After they left Madame Malkin's, they bought his cauldron, and his other equipment, and a tawny yellow owl that Artemis had named Aureus. He dragged his mother and Juliet away from the kittens and out of the store.

"All that's left now is the wand," Butler reported.

"Very well. I was told to try Ollivander's. Shall we?"

Angeline sighed and linked her arm through her son's. "You sound so grown up, Arty! Of course, you always have, but watching you buy all this for a new school, a new career path... it just brings it all home."

Artemis blushed. "Mother..."

"And you'll be boarding away in a whole other country!" She was teary eyed now. Artemis's look was desperate.

"I will look after him, Mistress Fowl," Butler said. "I have decided to take up residence at the neighboring town of Hogsmeade in case Artemis needs me."

Artemis looked at him. "Did some research on your own, did you?"

Butler half-smirked at him. Artemis gave up and smiled back. Mrs. Fowl gripped Butler's arm with her other hand. "Oh, thank you, Butler!"

"Here's the store," Juliet pointed cheerfully.

Artemis carefully disengaged his mother as he reached for the door and motioned graciously for her to precede him in.

It was a small shop, quiet, with an almost hallowed feel. Even Juliet was strangely awed and silent. A man came out from the back, from between stacks and stacks of piled boxes. "Greetings," he said.

"Good afternoon. I need a wand."

The man came to stand just in front of him, appraising him carefully. "Hold out your wand arm, please."

Artemis scrutinized him in turn and did so. Mr. Ollivander proceeded to magically measure him. Then the others watched bemusedly as Artemis waved around various wands. Wand number seven was "oak and dragon heartstring, nice and flexible. Eight and a half inches. One doesn't generally see dragon heartstrings mixed with oak. Go on, try it."

When Artemis took it in his hand, he knew. There was a tingling that started in his fingers and ran up to his elbow, making his heart beat harder as he raised the wand and gave it a swish. Sparks crackled from the tip of it and rained down like water, reflecting blue and gold on the counter and the walls, and Artemis's eyes.

"Cool!" Juliet exclaimed.

"Very good, very good!" the old man seemed delighted as well. So did his mother, and even Butler.

"What was your name, young man?" Ollivander asked as Artemis paid for the wand.

"Artemis Fowl."

"Fowl," the man repeated. "As in Lord Hugo de Fole?"

Artemis's eyes narrowed. "Yes."

"He was a powerful wizard, Hugo de Fole. I remember him. Willow and dragon heartstring, twelve inches."

"How could you remember him?" Angeline frowned. "He lived during the 11^th century."

"Ah, my dear lady," returned Ollivander, "I'm older than I seem."

"That's pretty old," Juliet said frankly, staring at him hard.

"It's getting late, Arty, let's go." Angeline plucked at his sleeve nervously.

"As you say, Mother," he replied absent-mindedly, looking partly at the man and partly at his wand. Then he smiled. Butler noticed he had been doing that a lot more than was normal lately. "Goodbye."

"Goodbye, Artemis Fowl."

__________ __________

The Hogwarts Express didn't run in July, and the castle couldn't be reached by ordinary means. But Mrs. Fowl's letter had included an envelope marked "Do not touch what's inside until you need transport. This is a Portkey. It will take you automatically to Hogwarts Castle."

So after Juliet and his mother had got on the plane that morning, Artemis put one hand on his trunk and one on the cage of his owl. Butler put one hand on Artemis's shoulder and picked up the Portkey with the other. The next thing they knew, they stood in front of the castle. "Imposing, isn't it?" Butler mused.

"Most impressive," Artemis agreed. "Well, here I go."

"I shall walk up to the castle with you. I have to be sure that you will be treated properly."

"I don't think you need to worry, but all right."

It somewhat disturbed Butler that Artemis, normally so cautious, didn't seem more distrustful.

When they reached a hut in the middle of the grounds, a giant of a man stepped out to meet them. Butler instantly went on guard.

"'Ello," the giant man smiled cheerfully. "I'm Hagrid. I'm 'ere to take you up to the castle."

"What is your official capacity?" Butler inquired in a way that combined politeness and threat.

Hagrid looked a bit taken aback. "I'm the Gamekeeper. And I always escort first years. Gener'lly across the lake in a boat, but never mind."

"Relax, Butler," Artemis instructed with a calm, coaxing nod. "I'm sure it'll be fine. Besides, you can take him," he added in a whisper.

This was undoubtedly true, but the still, man was enormous. Butler wasn't used to many people being bigger than him. However, Artemis was already following the man up to the castle.

"Professor Dumbledore'll be seein' you right away," Hagrid said. "He's the Headmaster 'ere. Great man." Butler and Hagrid eyed each other warily as they walked, while Artemis inspected the castle and its grounds.

Dumbledore was waiting for them just inside the front entrance. "Hello, Mr. Fowl," he greeted him. "And Hagrid. And who are you, sir?"

"Butler," Butler replied. "I came to make sure that Artemis got settled in."

"I see, of course. Not to worry. We'll take good care of him while he's here." Dumbledore smiled gently. Somehow, Butler found himself trusting him.

"We'll have your trunk and your owl sent to your room," Dumbledore continued. "First, we'll go to my office and I'll explain to you how your lessons will be scheduled this summer."

"And the... delay in my education that the letter mentioned? Will you explain that?"

Dumbledore looked at him gravely. "I will."

"Very well then."

"I shall go back to my residence then," Butler said, very reluctant to leave. He'd never faced a separation from Artemis like this.

Now that it came down to it, Artemis felt a bit strange, too. It was as if... he was going to be deprived of one of his five senses; he felt an anticipatory ache he couldn't quite explain.

"I'll be in contact." Artemis met his eyes. Something passed between them, then Artemis reached out and shook Butler's hand. "I'll contact you tonight."

"Thanks. Be careful, Artemis. Stay out of trouble."

A half-grin. "Butler, when have I done otherwise? Don't answer."

Butler smiled at him, then turned and went back down the steps. "Hagrid, take him back across the lake, would you?" Dumbledore asked.

"Certainly, Professor!" Hagrid joined him and they walked away.

Artemis took a deep breath and focused his attention on Dumbledore.

"This way then." Dumbledore led him down the passages to his office, explaining about the shifting staircases, the Forbidden Forest, Filch and Mrs. Norris, the four Hogwarts Houses and their founders, all as they walked along.

They reached the statue that stood guard to the Headmaster's office. "Sweet tarts," Dumbledore said, and the statue moved aside as a staircase rotated into view.

Once inside his office, Dumbledore waved Artemis to a seat. "While you are here this summer, you will need to catch up with the other students of your year. That means a crash-course in all the first year subjects. Intensive training until you're ready for second year to start."

"Fine. I've already started reading the books."

Dumbledore nodded. "And the library will of course be open for your disposal. Except the Restricted Section, obviously. You will be taught by myself, Prof. Snape, and Prof. McGonagall. I have your schedule right here." He held up a slip of paper. "But... you wanted to know about the delay."

"Yes."

Dumbledore regarded him for a moment. "Your magic started showing up at age 7. That's early for a wizard. Children are capable of doing great damage at that age because they have not learned control. Your magic was blocked by the Ministry until you reached school age. Fairly standard procedure. Except they left it on a year longer than they were supposed to. For one thing, your father had just disappeared, and your mother... had not yet recovered. It was felt you needed time to adjust."

"Was it." His tone did not make this a question.

"But mostly, Artemis, the Minister was afraid."

Artemis had not expected this. "What?"

"Your genius is well known, Mr. Fowl. As is your penchant for crime and plots for wealth. It was felt that another year might bring you greater maturity. No one wanted you to use your magic on poor Muggles to, say, try to take over Ireland for its treasury. Truthfully, the Minister might have never lifted the block on your magic if it hadn't been for one thing." He peered at Artemis over the top of his glasses. "You discovered magic for yourself."

"The fairies."

"Yes. The Ministry realized that you were bound to figure out uses for fairies and their magic, maybe even recover your own magic, despite the block. They wanted you put where closer surveillance could be kept on you. Namely, here."

Artemis frowned. "I have no intention of being spied upon by the Ministry of Magic or anyone else."

"Ah, well, happily, I agree with you. You must be allowed to make your own choices, not watched like a bug under glass. I told Cornelius Fudge no Ministry spies would be present in my school, and I wanted no part of it. I said they'd had no right to continue the block and it was high time it was removed and you were allowed to come study at Hogwarts like any other 12-year-old. I argued until the Ministry and the Council eventually agreed with me and removed the block. And I invited you here."

There was a great deal about this story and this situation that Artemis did not like. However, he couldn't do a great deal about most of it. Indeed, most of it was past, over and done with, no use lamenting... time to work it to his advantage. "I see."

"Lemon drop?" Dumbledore offered, taking a bag of sweets from his desk drawer.

"No. Thank you. So I won't be... watched?"

"No more than any other student. I see no reason to treat you differently."

"Why didn't you just start me as a first year?"

"I wanted you to be with students your own age. Granted, a year's difference isn't that much, but you'll already be far more intelligent than most of them. Why widen the gap and make it harder for you to get along? Students should enjoy themselves as well as learn. Friends are important."

Artemis stared at him, rather uncomprehending. "Whatever. At any rate, I'm here now. I can handle cramming a year's lessons into one summer. I'm ready to start."

"Good, good. One more formality then. You need to be sorted into one of the four Houses."

"OK. How does that work?"

Dumbledore stood up and from a high shelf took down a battered, pointed hat. "The Sorting Hat!" he proclaimed. "I put this on your head, and it tells us where you fit."

"A hat?" Artemis asked in disbelief, but just then the Hat in the professor's hands burst into song. 'O-kaaay,' Artemis thought. 'This is my life from now on. What have I gotten myself into?'
When the song ended, Dumbledore placed the hat on Artemis's head. He heard it speaking, although apparently the Headmaster did not. "Hmm," it said. "What have we here? An awesome intellect, instinctual arrogance, cunning, long-range planning, towering ambition, and a basic ruthlessness. True, you're also loyal and fairly brave, but the choice is clear. Slytherin!" it finished in a loud voice.

"As expected," Dumbledore murmured, removing the hat from his head. Artemis smoothed back his hair.

"Very well then. You belong to Slytherin House. You will be given a bed in their dormitories. Prof. Snape is the Head of Slytherin. You will be meeting him next. Here, take your schedule."

_________ __________

Professor Severus Snape examined his new pupil. "Fowl," he mused. "I've heard that name before."

"There've been a number of wizards and witches in the Fowl line," Artemis said.

"Yes." They stopped in front of a plain, bare wall. "The password is venomous cobra," Snape informed him, and as the word left his lips, a hidden door in the wall slid open. Snape led him in.

They entered a long, low underground room with rough stone walls. Green lamps hung from the ceiling. An elaborately carved fireplace was set in one wall. Old high-backed chairs, and a wide couch, and a few tables were spread around the room.

"The Slytherin Common Room." Snape waved his hand. "The right hand passage leads to the girls' dormitories, and the left to the boys'. You will, of course, stay strictly to the left. I'll show you the chamber for second years where you'll be staying."

More stone. Stone walls, stone floor, stone ceiling. A number of four poster beds with curtains, with trunks at the foot, and a couple of cupboards along one wall.

"Where's my owl?"

"Sent off to the Owlery. Feel free to explore the castle. You don't have any classes until tomorrow, except for broomstick instruction after dinner."

So he roamed around a bit until he found the library, where he looked up all the observation and warding spells he could find to ensure that a) no one could spy on him but b) if someone happened to succeed, he'd know about it.

He memorized them all, then went to dinner.

_________ __________

Eventually, after the meal, Artemis found himself on a broomstick, floating in the air about ten feet above Madam Hooch, the flying instructor. "Woah," he said out loud, then smiled, unable to help it. He'd been doing an appalling amount of smiling lately, and couldn't even manage to feel disturbed about it. Everything was too exciting, too intriguing--too potentially advantageous. OK, flying honestly made him a little nervous, but he was doing it.

"Very good!" Madam Hooch called up to him. "Come back down now."

He did, then looked at her expectantly.

"You're going to get the hang of this quite nicely," Madam said, smiling at him.

"Thank you. I like it."

"They were wondering if you were evil," she told him frankly. "But you don't look it to me."

He hesitated. "I'm Slytherin. Apparently, that's the wicked, depraved House."

"Nonsense," scoffed Madam Hooch. "Well... granted, most of the wizards who turned to You-Know-Who were in Slytherin. But that doesn't mean just belonging to that House predestines you for evil. Why, I dated a Slytherin once, back in school, for two years. Only broke up because we graduated and he moved to Canada." She looked off in the distance and sighed, then cleared her throat. "Anyway, I don't think you're evil. Do you?"

He hesitated. She gave him a shrewd look. "Not--not irredeemably evil," he answered at last.

She quirked another smile. "I was in Ravenclaw myself. Probably the least studious Ravenclaw to come through this school. My mind was always on Quidditch."

"I keep hearing that mentioned. It's some sort of sport, right?"

Madam Hooch laughed. "Well, Mr. Fowl, when your flying lesson is officially done, I'll teach you about it."

____________ __________

"Seven players to a team," Artemis repeated. "Keeper stops the Chasers' quaffle. Beaters hit their bludgers at everybody, game ends when the Seeker catches the snitch."

"Do you play sports, Mr. Fowl?" Madam Hooch asked, putting the balls back in their case.

"No. But now that I'm aware of the basics, let's talk strategy."

Madam led them over to the Quidditch spectator stands and sat down in the first row. She had been anticipating a boring summer, and was quite enjoying the distraction. "All right. Let's."

___________ ___________

Artemis didn't go back to the Slytherin dungeons until dark. He consulted his schedule for the next day. He had Potions with Snape right after breakfast, then History of Magic and Defense Against the Dark Arts with Dumbledore, then Transfiguration and Charms with McGonagall, then lunch. During his free hour after lunch, Artemis wrote in, "Talk to M. Hooch more."

He had, for reasons he was still unsure of, quite liked Madam Hooch. Dumbledore he didn't trust, and Snape was too... too... secretive, and he went out of his way to be intimidating, instead of respected.

He sat down at the table in the Common Room and wrote on a piece of parchment with a quill. "Dear Butler, I can't believe I am not using a computer or a cell phone for this, but I thought that since it's not urgent, I'd send my first owl, and see how it works. I have met the Headmaster and a number of teachers. I have been Sorted into Slytherin House. Tomorrow I begin lessons. I'm certain things will proceed just fine." He paused and tapped his quill thoughtfully, not sure what to tell Butler about the block that had been put on his magic. Finally he sighed and decided not to mention it for now. "I will keep in touch. Artemis."

__________ ___________

It was two weeks later when he got company. Snape led two boys, carrying trunks, into the second years' dormitory.

"This is Crabbe and Goyle," Snape introduced them in his usual dry, almost sneering voice. "They are here to--retake a few courses in order to qualify for passing their exams and graduation from first year. Boys, this is Fowl. He's here for classes, as well, although for an entirely different reason."

Artemis made sure the special lock on his trunk was secure--covertly, of course. He sat down on the bed with his copy of "Hogwarts: A History" and looked them over.

They'd be as big as Butler some day, but they'd never be as smart, or as capable, that was certain. "Crabbe and Goyle," he repeated.
Snape left. The boys put down their things and stared at him. "Never seen you before," remarked Crabbe.

"Why are you here?" demanded Goyle.

"I was abroad last year," Artemis told them smoothly. "I have a little catch-up work to do before second year starts."

"What were you doing abroad?"

"Committing felonies, taking advantage of people, arranging miracles, and just generally being naturally intelligent and wealthy, thanks for asking."

Their mouths fell open and their eyebrows lowered, somewhat like frowning goldfish. Artemis could figure it out for himself now--these two were too stupid to pass, but too rich to be allowed to just fail. Probably had stupid but influential fathers. Just his lot to be stuck with them.

"Felonies? Really?" Crabbe said finally. "Cool!"

"Are you Irish? You sound it."

Artemis raised an eyebrow. "Yes. You mean you haven't heard of the Fowl Family?"

"Um... no," they admitted, looking shame-faced.

"Never mind. I'm sure you can be useful to me, anyway."

They brightened. "Useful? How?"

"You can tell me about what the other students are like here. Naturally, I'll form my own opinion when I meet them for myself, but a bit of insider's--I hesitate to call it knowledge--well, anyway, you can tell me what you know."

They looked astounded. Apparently they weren't used to having anyone actually ask them things. Then Goyle grinned. "Sure! We can tell you lots!"

"Yeah!" Crabbe exclaimed.

They proceeded to do so, until Artemis was sorry he'd asked.

____________ ____________

Life settled down into a routine. Artemis was quite busy with class and homework, trying to do a year's worth of reading in three months. He was delighted with Transfiguration, and quite liked Charms and DADA, even if it was with Dumbledore, who he didn't trust. He was good at Potions, because he was so organized and methodical, but it wasn't his favorite. He didn't see much use for Care of Magical Creatures, and he quite detested Herbology. He didn't mind History of Magic; it was set up to be boring, but Dumbledore told him all kinds of side stories, and he'd always been good at reading between the lines. He spent some time each evening on his stolen, adapted fairy computer, keeping up-to-date on technology, investments, Muggle news, and his illegal operations, which he continued to run even from Hogwarts. He kept in close touch with Butler, and sent various expeditions searching for any trace of his missing father. He also kept tabs on how his mother was doing.

Meanwhile, he didn't talk much to the other professors, except for Dumbledore, who was too sentimental and noble for his liking--and who he was convinced didn't like him, and Snape, who was sarcastic, sardonic, and yet not all unlikeable.

Then there were Crabbe and Goyle, who followed him around whenever he didn't manage to lose them, usually one on each side, like a pair of bereft bookends.

"Well, they normally follow Draco Malfoy," Madam Hooch explained to him one day. "They're sort of like the body to his head. Without a leader, they've attached themselves to you." She grinned. "Lucky you."

"Morons annoy me," he complained.

She laughed. "Now you know how teachers feel."

He spent a percentage of his spare time each day talking to Madam Hooch, often about Quidditch, or the four Houses... or life in general. He couldn't explain why, he just liked her.

Now he said, "They have a lot to say about Malfoy."

"He's a big believer in pure-bloods. So many Slytherins are."

"Well, it wouldn't make much sense for me to be, would it?"

Hooch looked uncommonly grave. "I wouldn't advertise it amongst them."

"No. I'll go around mentioning Lord Hugo instead." At her inquisitive look, he smirked. "Apparently, one of my ancestors. Very powerful wizard. He and Queen Maeve were lovers. I did some research after Ollivander mentioned him."

"I'm afraid none of my ancestors were very famous."

"That's OK. Just don't let your descendants say the same thing."

"And do you intend to be famous, Artemis Fowl?"

"Oh yes," he said. "Oh yes."

___________ ___________

Before Artemis knew it, summer was almost gone, and he was taking his final exams. The night before, Crabbe and Goyle had received a package full of Chocolate Frogs, Bertie Botts Beans, Licorice Wands, and other treats. "Good luck, don't flunk. Cheat if you have to," the note read, signed: Malfoy, Parkinson, Bulstrode, and Zabini. The boys dutifully shared the candy with Artemis.

"That was nice of them," he said.

Crabbe shrugged. "I'm sure it was all Malfoy's idea. The rest of them don't care."

"Except maybe Millicent, on a good day."

"I may end up marrying her, you know," Crabbe commented.

Artemis raised his eyebrows. "Enamored of her, are you?"

"No. Pure-blooded families arrange these things. Well, you'd know, I'm sure."

Goyle snorted. "Pansy Parkinson is so sure she's going to get arranged to Draco, but there's no way. Not unless she gets a whole lot prettier."

"Yeah, Draco's parents would never let him marry an ugly girl. They'd end up with ugly kids, and whoever heard of an ugly Malfoy? It would never do."

"Ugly, is she?"

"She looks like one of those dogs with the squished-in faces."

Artemis laughed.

"What kind of girls do you like, Artemis?" Goyle asked, eating another Pumpkin Pastry.

"I just figure, I'll know her when the time comes."

And so exams were taken, and Crabbe and Goyle scraped by, and Artemis excelled because he's who he is.

That left them with one week before the new term started. Artemis took his fairy computer and his change of clothes and left everything else in the dorm. He met up with Butler outside the Hogwarts grounds. "I have my list of materials I need for second year," Artemis told him. "We'll go and get those before we go home. I am not taking Juliet and Mother back to Diagon Alley. Once was enough."

___________ ____________

"Just new books, mostly," Artemis reported, examining his list. "And I can get my own broom now! Madam Hooch says Nimbus 2001 just came out--it's the best!"

Butler could hardly believe his ears. Artemis was talking in exclamation marks.

He recovered himself quickly, however. "OK. Snape says now that we're clear of Hogwarts grounds, all I have to do is hold out my wand, and eventually..."

Even knowing what to expect, he hadn't been quite prepared for the sight of an actual flying bus coming to a noisy stop in front of them. A young man opened the door.

"Wanting the Knight Bus? We'll take you anywhere you want to go."

"Yes. Diagon Alley."

"Stop just outside the Leaky Cauldron," he informed them brightly and a bit pompously.

Artemis climbed aboard. Butler prepared to follow.

"Here, he's not a wizard," the young man protested.

Artemis gave him a look and Butler ostentatiously flexed his muscles. The man swallowed. "Fine. It's 11 each."

Artemis paid him as Butler boarded. They found a seat in the back.

Once at their destination, they found the wall, and Artemis tapped in the correct sequence of bricks. They entered Diagon Alley and headed off for Flourish and Blott's. "Business before pleasure, right Butler?" Artemis half-smiled.

The store was quite crowded inside. Butler kept a space bubble around himself and Artemis for fear of his safety, and no dared intrude too close. "What's with all the people?" Artemis wondered out loud.

"Don't you know? Gilderoy Lockhart is signing his books today!" an awe-struck matronly witch overheard him and replied.

"Lockhart..." Artemis looked at his reading list. That name was featured prominently. "Hmm."

He looked at the line waiting for the wizarding author, who was flashing his teeth in a toothpaste-commercial smile. "Um." He did not inspire Artemis's respect. "Signing won't be necessary," Artemis said to Butler dryly. "But I do need some of his books."

They were heading towards a display when a commotion at the signing table made them turn. "It can't be Harry Potter!" someone shouted. Lockhart was dragging a boy his age up to the front, and holding him in place long enough for a photographer to snap a picture.

"Ladies and gentlemen," the wizard announced, with that 100 watt smile, "as well as getting my books, Harry here will soon be graced with my presence as his new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher!"

"Lovely," Artemis muttered. "Wonder how much he gets paid for that." Artemis dismissed Lockhart from his thoughts then and watched the boy escape back to the line.

So that was the famous Harry Potter, Boy Who Lived. He'd heard all about him, from a number of sources at Hogwarts, trying to get a less-biased picture. He casually strolled over to stand nearby him out of simple curiosity.

So it was that he got to see Potter join up with a large redheaded family and a brown-haired girl and her parents, and to watch a boy his age, as blonde as one could possibly be, approach Harry with a twisted scowling sneer on his face.

"Bet you loved that, didn't you, Potter?" the blonde hissed. "Can't even go into a bookshop without making the front page."

"Leave him alone, he didn't want it!" exclaimed a small redheaded girl, glaring at the boy.

"Potter, you've got a girlfriend!"

The girl blushed, and two more youth came over, the brunette and a redheaded boy. "Oh, it's you. Bet you're surprised to see Harry here, eh?"

"Not as surprised as I am to see you in a shop, Weasley." Ah, thought Artemis, then the girl must be Granger. "I suppose your parents will go hungry for a month to pay for all these."

Weasley went for him, but the other two pulled him back. Then an adult came over, and two more boys, and then another man as blonde as his son, and with the same twisted expression.

The two men glared at each other. "Arthur Weasley."

"Lucius."

"Been keeping you busy at the Ministry--but they don't seem to be paying you well for it." He pulled a used, tattered book out from the girl's cauldron and examined it. "What's the use of being a disgrace to the name of wizard, then?"

Everyone was flushed and angry now. "We have a very different idea of what disgraces the name of wizard, Malfoy."

"Thought so," said Artemis to Butler in satisfaction. "I knew that had to be Malfoy."

The others were too busy listening to the grown-ups trade insults, but the blonde boy heard his name, and turned his head to meet Artemis's eyes.

"You're Draco Malfoy. Crabbe and Goyle speak of you all the time."

Draco's chin went up. "You're Fowl. They owled me about you."

The two boys scrutinized each other closely.

"I've heard the name Fowl before," Malfoy admitted at last, grudgingly.

Artemis started to say more, when they heard a crash and spun back to see Mr. Weasley tackle Mr. Malfoy to the ground. Draco's eyes got huge at this indignity.

"That's unexpected," Artemis commented.

Butler pulled Artemis back. "Stay out of range."

"But I want to see Mr. Malfoy hex him," Artemis complained, mainly to see Draco's reaction.

Draco half-glanced at him. "Well, of course my dad will win."

But before any hexing could take place, Hagrid appeared from somewhere and pulled the two men apart. Both their faces were bloodied.

"Here girl," Lucius snarled. He still had her book. "Take it--it's the best your father can give you..." He pulled away from Hagrid and swept from the store, beckoning Draco.

Draco took another half-glance back at Artemis, and followed his father.

Artemis waited a beat, then strode to the window to watch the Malfoys walk away. The elder was furiously straightening his clothes. The younger was shrinking back, as if nervous at the other's anger. Then Artemis turned around to watch the other group leaving, Mr. Weasley being scolded by his wife.

"I think this year's going to be quite interesting."

Butler groaned. "Don't tell your mother."

-___________ __________