Behind Emerald Eyes

Friends Forever

"I think about tomorrow and I think about now, canwe survive it out there?Will we make it some how?Guess I thought that this would never end and suddenly its like we're women and men. Will the past be a shadow that will follow us round?Will these memories fade when I leave this town?I keep on thinking this is not goodbye...not goodbye but my time to fly..." - Friends Forever by Vitamin C

The silence was penetrated by Dave clearing his throat. Harry shook his head and coughed loudly.

"Erm..."he stammered, voice catching in his throat. "...what did you say your name was?" With a hammering heart and sweaty brow, he awaited the answer, hoping against hope that she was not who he thought she was. She smiled radiantly and held out a well manicured hand.

"Ginevra West. Why? Do I seem familiar to you? Wait! Now that I think about it, I think I've seen you somewhere before? Haven't I?" Smiling innocently she placed a fake look of thoughtfulness upon her face. Feeling highly uncomfortable now, Harry chanced a quick look at their confused witness. Dave Ream was watching them with interest. Harry could practically hear all the gears turning in his mind. Knowing that look all too well, Harry knew that he was trying to figure out the mystery between them.

"No, I don't think so. Its just, you reminded me of someone I knew a long time ago," Harry said, staring at her intensely, "but she went her own way, as did I." Ginny's smile dropped slightly but she immediately faked a new one stepping closer to the now grinning Dave.

"Yes, I don't think I have seen you. I knew someone also but that person turned out to be someone I did not think they could be," A sickening jolt in his stomach and a small glare her way, Harry turned to his room-mate.

"Hey, I think I'm going to go down town and grab something to eat. I'll be back later," Harry left the two in the entrance way after changing from his work clothes and grabbing a jacket. Passing into the hall outside, Harry cast one look back at the retreating red-head. Ginny was staring after him, a vacant look on her face but with eyes full of pain.

Once out in the cold, windy street, it finally hit him.

He couldn't breathe.

It was as if the air had dried up all the moisture in his throat and it was shriveling up into itself. His passed came flooding back. Engulfing his mind, body and soul. It was too much.

He had fled to get away from his passed. To forget the horrors within. He hadn't wanted tom but a life without Ron and Hermione wasn't a life worth living. He would rather spend his life without magic and with his two best friends than a life with magic void of them. But just when he thought he was alone and all alone for ever, Ginny turned up. If it hadn't been for her trade-mark red hair, he would not have known it was her. From a small young girl to a mature young lady, Ginny had grown up. And found him.

It was too much of a coincidence that the day after finding the fake Galleon that a witch who was part of the said secret organization turns up. And with her the memories.

Or was it just a coincidence? That Dave did meet her while on his lunch break and bring her home? Harry shook his head. That was just too coincidental. She had to have been the one last night, hiding behind the fruit stall watching him from the shadows. But why did she have to turn up now? And how did she find him? He hadn't been using magic so she could not have chased him down that way.

Then how?

For the next hour Harry just wandered the streets. London had been quite busy lately. It was nearing Easter with only a couple weeks to go. Shoppers were already out, buying chocolate eggs and soft toy rabbits for their children and friends. The windows were filled with sale signs, their items prices being reduced for the holiday rush. Harry was in no hurry today, so he just strolled by himself, too wrapped up in his own thoughts to notice much of anything around him.

Crowds of people swarmed cafés and small restaurants. The smells of freshly cooked croissants and steaming coffee met his senses as he passed one of the busy shops. Small children were everywhere. Running down the streets, screaming and playing with each other. Their parents hurried behind them, trying to hold their shopping while keeping an eye on their children.

Harry passed them, his sprits dropping with every footfall. Soon he entered a block-side garden. The trees were tall and colored with an assortment of greens. Their leaves fluttered to the ground. Birds nestled in the branches, whistling tunes of happiness and joy. Harry gazed at them with dull eyes. Collapsing on a bench beneath a golden leaved tree, he thought.

If only Ron and Hermione had understood why I did it then maybe I would not be here now. I would be with them somewhere, living together. Laughing about something Ron said or done. Groaning withRon about Hermione's constant know-it-all behavior. Smirking to himself at his friends hidden love.

Why didn't they understand? I did it for them! To save them!

Maybe they didn't need saving? A voice said in the back of his mind.

Of course they needed saving! If I hadn't kept them in the castle then they might have died!

Yes, they might have died. They might have or they might not have died. The voice answered.

That's true but it was better to be safe than sorry. If I had let them out to fight, I might have lost them! They would be dead now and I would never see them again!

And that is so much different to now?

Harry growled indistinctively. He hated loosing to himself.

Harry started when a large black dog bounded passed his vision. Shaking his head forcefully, Harry closed his eyes hardly. When he opened them he met another pair. Jumping back on the bench he realized the black canine had found its way to him and was staring hard at his face, tongue lolling out.

With heart pounding and body shaking, Harry reached out. The dog barked as his hand touched its wiry hair and bounded back away. Sighing miserably, Harry stood once more. He had to stop pretending. It was too hard to forget everything in his past and make a new life trying to cover it up. Dave would one day discover his secret and that would mean having to put a memory charm on him. And he did not think he could do that. Dave was his friend and to just wipe his memory when he slipped up was like lying. And Harry hated lying to his friends. He had done it ever since he'd met the muggle man but did not think he could place magic on him because of his own stupid fault.

No, if or when Dave found out his secret, Harry would tell him everything. Starting when it all began.

The trip back to the apartment took much quicker than the trip out. Soon he found himself rooted to the spot outside number thirteen on the third floor. His palms were sweaty and breathing fast. His heart was throbbing in his throat and mind racing back and forth. If Ginny was still inside he would have to confront her. But if she wasn't then he could live the way he always did. But what would that mean? Never to see another old friend again? To live in lies? But that was his life now. He chose it and that was how it was to stay.

Taking a deep breath, Harry entered the apartment.

Nothing looked changed inside. Everything was the same. The floor was bare and a dull whitish-grey. The walls were light green with white trimming. There was so far no sign of Ginny Weasley or Ginevra West as she called herself. It looked like it always did. With the empty cereal boxes sitting on the sink, signs of spilt coffee on the kitchen table, a few socks on the floor. The absence of the red-haired witch was somewhat satisfying. But his stomach dropped and Harry felt himself feeling more down than ever.

But there was also no sign of Dave's cat, Jinx. He was a pure black fur ball capable of latching himself on the backs of any who turn their backside to his face. The name of him shook Harry slightly when Dave told him of it. The muggle had said it suited him as most of the things the black cat jumped on either fell over or jumped on him back. Also Dave was quite suspicious. And the whole 'black cat passing' thing was like a big 'jinx' to him. So came the name of the feline.

"Jinx?" Harry called softly, looking under the nearest sofa. Jumping back when he thought a sock was the small cat. Harry had had enough experiences of sticking his head under a chair to find the cat latched around his neck. Wandering through the house, calling the cat to come out, Harry could not find it anywhere. The only place he hadn't looked was his room. But he knew that the cat could not have got into as he had shut the door when he left. Or thought he had.

Passing the hall, he spotted his bedroom door ajar. Feeling slightly skittish, Harry approached it slowly every footfall sounding like a thunder clack to his ears. Something was in there he figured, pressing his ear to it without appearing in anyone's sight. Building up his great Gryffindor courage, he pushed the door wide open and stepped in. The figure turned around, grinning broadly holding Jinx the black cat tightly in her arms. Harry could here him purring from the doorway.

"I thought you had ran away again!" Ginny said simply, flicking something gold up and down from her one free hand. Sighing loudly, Harry sat upon his bed and ran a hand through his long, messy hair. He looked up to find Ginny watching his movements with a blank expression and her mouth open slightly. She shut it when she spotted Harry staring at her and quickly fixed herself up.

"I see you found my coin?" she asked showing him the fake Galleon she had been flicking up and down.

"You deliberately dropped it?" Harry said without emotion. Ginny was a bit taken back at his monotone voice.

"Of course I did. I wanted to let you know I was coming, I was never rather fond of surprises..." She turned from him and picked up something from his bedside table.

"James Black...Security Guard for NightWatchers...you are quite photogenic, Mr Black," she said cheerily placing his identification badge back down. Harry was arguing with himself once more. He was trying to decide whether or not to ask Ginny why she was here or just ask her to leave. In the end he decided on the first.

"Ginny," he murmured, drawing her attention away from his Guard Uniform. She turned to face him. "What are you doing here?" She seemed to be struggling within her own mind. Harry could tell by her facial expressions. She herself sighed loudly, sitting beside him on the bed. Jinx was purring erratically now. He would stop every time he looked at Harry but would continue when Ginny scratched his ear.

"I'm not really sure..." Her hazel eyes were glassy and shined with unbidden tears. Harry was never really good with girls. Especially when they cried. Since leaving Hogwarts, Harry had had three dates, all having been set up by Dave. The girls had all seemed into it, but Harry didn't feel right with any of them. In the end he just gave up.

A tear was now slipping down her cheek. Harry awkwardly patted her on the back but she flinched away from him and jumped up.

"Don't you touch me Harry Potter!" she yelled. Harry was startled by her outburst.

"Ginny...what's wrong?" he tried. She just glared at him, tears now falling freely down her face. "You! You're the one that's wrong, Harry!"

"What did I do?" he said loudly, his own temper raising. "What did I do but save you and Ron and Hermione?" Ginny stepped forward and slapped him squarely on the cheek. The crack was much more of an impact than the actual contact. Harry's cheek was stinging and Ginny was wobbling on her feet. Harry touched the mark with a shaking finger.

"Ginny...?"

"Yes, Harry, you did save us! But then you left us! You left Ron and Hermione! You left me, Harry!" Ginny screamed. Her hair seemed to crackle with electricity.

"IT WASN'T MY FAULT!" Harry yelled, standing up making Jinx, who had been startled when Ginny jumped up, hiss and attack his leg. Harry kicked the cat off.

"How wasn't it Harry? Tell me who it was who made you run away? Who made you leave us?" Ginny placed her hands on her lips, tears stopped falling. But the wet tracks still gleamed on her cheeks.

"It was...it was...you! When I defeated Voldemort I thought everything would be better. I thought I would finally be able to have a normal life. A safe life! But then Ron and Hermione blew up at me! They weren't my friends anymore! They ditched me!" Harry held up his hand to stop Ginny from interrupting. "Do you know what its like to finally be free of the one thing that had plagued your whole life? Do you? But then when you're finally free, the two things that had saved you and made you keep fighting through all the years, don't want you? They decide that they don't want to be you friend? That you were not worth all the trouble they had been through all the years? That they didn't love you? Because that's what I felt when Hermione and Ron left me! They were my whole life, Ginny! They were the ones that kept me alive when Voldemort kept trying to kill me!

"That's why I did not want them to fight! I didn't want to loose them like I had lost my parents! Like I had lost Sirius! I didn't want to give Voldemort the pleasure of taking the two people I still loved more than I had loved everyone else! That's why I kept them and you in the castle away from the war! I couldn't loose you three! Voldemort had taken everyone else and was not going to let them take you! I know that Hermione and Ron wanted to fight with me like I would have wanted to fight with them! But they could have died! You could have died! And I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if one of you had died! I was better off having you alive and hating me that dead and never being able to see you again! I am not worth dying for!" Harry collapsed onto the bed, tears falling from his eyes.

Ginny had been crying from the beginning of his speech. Her breathing came in rasping sobs as the full impact hit her. She wasn't one to give up on a battle to sit back and watch. She was one of action. Just like Harry. But standing here, watching the legendary boy-who-lived dissolved into tears, was enough to take her down. She stumbled over to Harry and wrapped him in a hug. At first he tensed up at her touch but then relaxed into her embrace. He returned her comforting hug. They both just sat their, crying into each other's arms, knowing what had passed. Remembering those they lost. They were frightened and sad about the past but were terrified at what the future would bring.

What the two magical beings did not know was that Dave Ream was standing outside the ajar door, mouth open and coffee spilling soundlessly to the floor.

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Hey people how was that one? Well, I finished this one all in one go! OMIGOD! I've never, ever and I mean never finished a whole chapter in one go before! Holy poop! LOL! Well, tell us what you think and I hope you like this new chapter! Oh yeah, and I hope some questions were answered.

DW