You Never Really Know

You Never Really Know

Ginny Weasley took the shiny scissors out from the box she hid under her bed. It was ten minutes past midnight on the first morning of the new millennium. She could hear the people in the Gryffindor common room celebrating. New Years usually went un-noticed at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry but this year Professor McGonagall had agreed that the people who remained at Hogwarts could have a party. Obviously other houses would have to ask their own Head of House.

It was at that comment half the class broke into smiles. The only thing better than having a party is having a party when Slytherin were not. There was no way Professor Snape would let his house act in such a foolish manner. 'And the celebrations had been foolish,' Ginny thought bitterly. She played with the cool metal in her hands, feeling their weight and the connotations they held.

The usual Christmas decorations and enhanced mistletoe had remained up and Filibusters Fireworks were made available on every table. Streamers that changed colours every so often were strung from wall to wall and the clock had been enhanced to play WWN (Wizard Wireless Network) so they could listen to the midnight count down.

Midnight. It was all anybody had spoken about for days. It was common knowledge that you had to kiss somebody at midnight or your love life would be ruined for the rest of the year. Chloe, Ginny's roommate, had been devastated when she overheard Ron say he was just going to stand near Hermione for midnight and accidentally bump into her. Chloe had a crush on Ginny's elder brother and had taken to standing near him in the shadows just to listen to the sound of his rumbling voice. It was this way she had heard his conversation with Harry Potter.

Colin Creevey had asked if he could kiss Ginny at midnight. She had smiled and replied with a sweet, 'We'll see' before running to Chloe and developing a plan to keep Colin as far away from her lips as possible. Colin had taken the 'maybe' to mean he and Ginny were going to get very passionate on New Year and he had proceeded to tell everybody who would listen. His infatuation with Harry had caused him to blurt the news out over breakfast and Harry had smiled at him slowly before asking for a word. He pulled Colin outside the Great Hall acting for all the world as if he just wanted to catch up on the gossip. Once they were in a secluded corridor Harry had grabbed Colin by the throat, his smile instantly disappearing. Harry pinned Colin to the wall with a great deal of force and had hissed in his ear, 'If you ever speak of Ginny like that again I will hand you to Voldermort personally.' Colin had cried, both at the name of the Dark Lord and because he could not tell if Harry was serious.

Ginny sighed. She had only seen Harry and Colin leave the hall, smiling together. She was certain Harry was laughing at her new slut reputation and he had wanted to congratulate Colin in private. She had avoided both of them as much as she could at the party, preferring to sit in the corner with Chloe and watch the developments with the other couples.

Neville Longbottom and Michelle Proiet had disappeared five minutes into the party and had still not returned by the time Ginny had run upstairs. Seamus was drunk, though only the God's knew how or why, and had proceeded to ask every girl in the room for a kiss. Every girl that is except Ginny. He had kissed Chloe sweetly on her lips but blushed and walked away without even speaking to Ginny. He had glanced over to where Ron was standing with Harry and Hermione. Ron had been watching the scene unfold and had waited until Seamus had moved on to his next girl before Harry continued to talk to him.

Midnight came quickly and before Ginny had time to realise everybody had been pulled to form a huge circle. Ron had kissed Ginny on the forehead and pulled her next to him, Hermione on his other side and Harry next to her. Chloe looked envious of Ginny before beaming at all her friends in the circle. The clock counted down and on the stroke of Midnight several people set off fireworks and shouted happy New Year, Ginny included. She turned to hug Chloe only to be greeted by the sight of her best friend passionately kissing Seamus Finnigan, neither of them apparently needed air to survive. She turned back round to hear Ron talking to Hermione.

'D'you suppose we might? You know?' he stuttered.

Hermione mearly smiled at him and put one finger under his chin, 'You better bloody had Ronald Weasley or I shall be having words with your Mo-' the sentence became lost in his lips and they stood fingers entwined forgetting the rest of the world existed.

Ron and Hermione had not moved in the ten minutes after midnight and Ginny guessed they were probably still at it. She forced a weak smile; at least somebody was happy. She pulled the scissors across her skin, to light to do anything but scratch. The voice in her head was telling her what a bad idea this was but her memory argued. It had always been this way. Ginny Weasley had never been one for sharing her emotion so when things got too much she let it out this way, in her blood. When Charlie left, when Ron had gone to Hogwarts, when Tom Riddle had broken her heart, when Harry Potter had laughed at her for going to the Yule Ball with Neville and tonight, what he had said.

'So Gin. Happy New Year,' he smiled at her and she returned the grin.

'Happy New Year Harry,' she said but the voice in her head was screaming, 'kiss me kiss me kiss me kiss me'

'So...any Resolutions?" he laughed

'Just the usual,' she nodded in reply and he laughed.

'Oh yeah...loose a few pounds and all that,' her heart stopped.

'Yeah...Harry...Excuse me,' Ginny had just walked away. She walked up the stairs, pulled out her scissors and sat thinking about everything. Harry thought she was fat. A hand rubbed self consciously over her belly. It was not by any means as flat as those girl's in PlayWizard but she was not fat. Her mind began to wander and she could feel her stomach grow beneath her had with each time her memory replayed Harry's words. She was so busy remembering she didn't hear the door open.

'Ginny?' the voice asked quietly pulling her out of her daydream, or was it a nightmare?

'Yeah?' she gasped pushing the scissors under her thigh, hiding them from sight.

'It's Harry, are you...dressed?' he asked, fear obvious in his voice.

'Yeah.'

'I came to apologise. What I said was stupid. You are not fat, or anything. You're perfect just as you are and I only meant because that's what Hermione's and my Aunt's resolution is every year I presumed you would be the same. I didn't mean any harm...'he trailed off his eyes flickering from her bare arms to the robe on her bed.

'It's ok Har-'

'What's that?' he asked sharply, moving over to the bed where she was sitting in a few strides. He grabbed her arm and ran his thumb over the red welts and scars she had collected over the years, 'Oh God. Did you do that?'

'Harry you don't unders-'

'Ginny,' he whispered his voice thick with tears. He pulled her close, 'promise me you will never do that again. How could you?'

'When I get upset I...I don't do it that much and I know exactly why I've done each one.'

'Which ones are because of me?' he asked quietly and her silence answered the unasked question immediately. She had done some of this because of him.

'Why did you come up?' Ginny asked.

'To apologise and give you this,' Harry answered and kissed her lightly on the lips, 'Happy New Year.'

'Why did you do that?' Ginny whispered and he pushed his forehead against hers.

'Start as you mean to go on I always say,' Harry laughed slightly, 'promise me every time you want to cut yourself you will come and find me.'

'Well you're here now so...'Ginny paused, not sure what she was saying.

'Yes. And I will always be here if you need to talk...or anything,' Harry whispered and lowered his lips to hers again.

'I choose...or anything,' Ginny mumbled against his lips.