Be Mine

He pushes me against the wall, pressing so close to me that I can feel his heartbeat pulsing rapidly through his clothes. I watch his pulse flutter wildly in the hollow of his throat, focusing on it intently as his fingers press into the hollows of my hipbones, squeezingpushinghurting and he pushes me harder into the wall until I can feel the stones grinding against my spine, and I can feel the bruises forming on my hips under his fingertips as he bends and licks my neck nippingbitingsucking. My knees weaken and almost give way and he grinds into me so hard that I can't fall and I can feel him against me, and his fingers are still on my hips bruising me, gripping me so hard, digging in like he wants to tear into me and shatter my bones and rip me apart even as his teeth tear at my flesh. I let out a choking gasp and I let him hurt me, and I know I'd let him tear me apart and spread my blood around or hand me to Voldemort even, just to have him for my own, to have him want me the way I want him, but I can't tell him, can't everever let him know and he's not mine, he can't be mine, won't be mine even as I slide down the wall and drop to my knees in front of him. Even as I'm his, only his, as I breathe his scent, drink him in, swallow him whole, as I wish for him to be mine, to be only mine, to not have other lovers, to not want other lovers. I think about how he always wanted my attention, how he used to do everything, anything he could to get me to just notice him, to get me to do something to show him that he got to me, and now he has my attention, all my attention, all the time and he pulls me up and kisses me harshly, to taste his come in my mouth, and he bits my lip to taste my blood and he doesn't care about my attention, he doesn't care about my feelings, he doesn't care. He has my attention, all of it and he only wants it so he can use me for himself, so he can possess me and he does. And it hurts, oh it hurts more than his come on my tongue and his fingers pushing into my hips, bruising me, my blood under his fingernails, my blood in his mouth, and now all I want is for him to notice me and he doesn't notice me anymore, for anything other than this, for anything other than the knowledge that he has my attention, that I'm his and that he owns me and he can use me and throw me away when it suits him and that I let him because all I want is him and this - this - is the only way that I can have him. I gasp as he wraps his hand on me and I throw my head back against the wall so hard that I see stars and I cry his name as I come and he laughs and he kisses me again to taste my blood and he moves his mouth - bitingsuckinghurting - down my throat and he licks my blood and my come from his hand and;

"You're mine, Potter,"

And it's a hiss - triumphant, victorious, gloating, laughing at me and I slide down the wall and I know he's right; I'm his, only his and he walks away and doesn't look back and he isn't mine.