Harry Potter and the Happiest Place on Earth

            “Hey, look at this,” Hermione called, “The Muggle Studies class is hosting a trip to a Muggle theme park called Disneyland.”
            “Great Hermione, sign us up!”

* * * * *

            “Attention!” Sirius’ voice boomed out over the crowd, “OK YOU LOT JUST SHUT UP!”
            That got everyone’s attention. Sirius was the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, and owing to the fact that everyone had believed he was a murderer for years, he commanded a certain amount of respect, even though he was completely innocent (in the respect that he hadn't murdered anyone).
            All the students were dressed in Muggle clothes. The Great Hall was full of harassed looking teachers, and eager students.
            “OK,” Sirius continued, “We will read off your groups. First: Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley, Ginny Weasley, all the rest of you Weasleys, and Draco Malfoy.”
            “WHAT?” Ron exploded. “We have to go with THAT creep?”
            "What?" Draco exploded. "I have to go with ALL those creeps?"
            Sirius glared at Draco. He glared at Ron too, but looked sympathetic. “Go over to your Portkey now, and you’ll be transported to just inside the front gate. Hurry up, the next groups have to go too.”
            As the seven of them touched the Portkey, Harry felt his navel jerk.
            They were standing in an almost empty area with a picture of an obnoxiously grinning mouse made out of flowers.
            “What is this place?” Malfoy asked.
            “Disneyland, duh, you slimy git.” Fred said.
            “Yeah, and according to the Muggle Studies people it’s called the Happiest Place on Earth, so be nice.” Ginny glared both of them.
            “I’ve always wanted to come here,” Hermione giggled, “It’s a very famous place.”  She pulled out a brochure.
            “Lets go here,” Malfoy said, pointing at a dot on the map that said ‘48’ in bright mauve lettering in the middle of a bunch of other multicolored dots.
            "Do you mean 46 or 73?" Ginny asked, unable to see at all.
            "48," Draco snapped.
            Harry shrugged. “Whatever, Malfoy. If you want to go on ‘Space Mountain’, that’s fine with me. Hope it isn’t to scary for you.”
            “You wish, Potter.”
            “Come on, let’s go,” George said.
            They set off across the park, Hermione ranting on and on about how this was such a big amusement park, and how Muggles loved it.
            Space Mountain turned out to have a long walkway into a large room with little cars that left when they were full of people. There was a long line full of people who glared at the people ahead of them.
            “This is called a roller coaster,” Hermione told the Weasleys and Malfoy.
            “We know, Granger,” Malfoy sneered, “We all took the Muggle Studies lessons.”
            They climbed into the car, Harry and Ron in the front, Ginny and Hermione behind them, Malfoy by himself, and the twins in the back. Fred and George where whispering as the car left.
            Harry thought this was a little gaudy, and relaxed into his seat. One of those annoying voices told them they had to keep their seatbelts on and to keep their hands and arms inside the car. They were going up a ramp with a bright light at the top, then they passed it There was almost pitch blackness, although he saw flashing lights everywhere and some things that looked like mutated oatmeal cookies. When the roller coaster picked up speed he was thrown back against the chair. It was a bit like flying, only without the broomstick and a bit slower. The wind was in his hair, he loved this.
            Then he heard a sharp howl. He wheeled around and saw Fred and George sending sparks at Malfoy in the darkness, and occasionally sending fireworks up into the air.
            He and Ron laughed as Hermione sent out curses to dim the fireworks as she yelled at Fred and George for breaking anti-magic rules. “You can get Malfoy LATER, “she screamed.
            “Petrificus Totalus!” Ginny yelled, and Malfoy, George, and Fred were all suddenly silent and still. “That’s better, Hermione’s right you know.”
            They emerged from the train, Malfoy looking extremely disheveled. Hermione was ranting at Fred and George, telling them to act their age.
            “You know what Hermione, I think we’re going to leave you now,” said George.
            “Yeah,” agreed Fred, “We have more rides to tamper.”

* * * * *

Peter Pan Ride:
            “Freshly caught Cornish Pixies!” George gloated, “Bye, Stinkerbell.”
Indiana Jones Ride:
            “Help, a basilisk!” Malfoy screamed as an enormous snake stuck it’s head out, “Stupefy!”
            “Malfoy, you prat,” Ginny told him, “It’s fake!” She touched the snake and an eerie voice shouted at her not to touch anything.
            Ron shuddered as they went past a wall covered in bugs.
It’s a Small World:
            “Hogwarts, Hogwarts, Hoggy Warty Hogwarts ” sang the little animated Eskimos and Dutch children. Fred and George snickered as everyone from Alaskans to Zimbabweans sang (with different melodies).
Pirates of the Caribbean:
            “Help! Fire!” Hermione shrieked.
            “I didn’t do it!” Malfoy said. He and Ron had been shooting hexes at each other.
            “WILL YOU ALL SHUT UP!” Harry yelled, “IT IS ALL FAKE HERE! DO YOU UNDERSTAND? LOOK! IT'S JUST A *^&% SHEET!”
            "But it's on fire!" Malfoy shouted.
            Ron finally succeeded in hitting him with a particularly nasty jinx, and Malfoy shut up.
Tom Sawyer Ferry:
            A huge tentacle rose from the lake. Muggles on the raft screamed and some even (very, very, stupidly) jumped into the disgusting, brown, soda-filled water..
            “I knew inviting the giant squid was a stroke of genius,” laughed Fred.

* * * * *

            It was five’o clock, time to go back to Hogwarts. Glaring at Malfoy, they all took the Portkey together. In two seconds they were back at Hogwarts. And they were safe.