The Prophesy: Silent Shells

I thought that I would write to you before I do this. I don't know if you will even care but I thought it only right to write before it happens. I know what you have been through last year and I am really sorry. I also know what you have been doing. I found the sheet under your bed. I don't know how long you have been doing it but I am assuming you don't at school because I'm sure your life there is a lot better than your life here.

I don't know if you have figured it out or not but Grunnings is bankrupt. We are three million in debt. Vernon is obviously under a lot of pressure and sometimes he does things that he doesn't mean to. He has also been drinking. We are going to have to move to a cheaper place and there won't be room for you there. We have had to pull Dudley out of Smeltings and we are sending him to Stonewall High. He is very distressed about this and he is a very strong boy.

I realise that I am babbling and will come straight to the point. I cannot live in this tatty house and I cannot live with your uncle and Dudders with their mood swings. I am simply writing to say that I am sorry for the way I have treated you all your life. Lily's child deserved a lot better than that. Please forgive me, I am just so sorry.

I have written a letter to your headmaster as well, but please don't read it.

Your owl has just flown in the window. She is a clever creature. She is perched on my shoulder and rubbing her head against mine. You are lucky to have such a wonderful pet.

Goodbye Harry. I hope you have a long and happy life. You deserve it. I suggest that you find another place to stay in the holidays as I can just about guarantee that you will not be welcome at the apartment in an estate in the East End.

How ironic that we should end up here. Vernon always said that it was more disgraceful than having a freak like you in the family to live in the East End.

Goodbye Harry.

Love Petunia

PS I have left you some of your mother's belongings that came to me when she died. I'm just sorry that I didn't give them to you before.

Harry sat back stunned. 'D'you know how she did it?'

'Yes, a letter from Arabella Figg arrived just after this one saying that she had been found with her wrists slashed.'

Harry started laughing hysterically. 'Her wrists were slashed? Now that is funny, that's very funny.'

Dumbledore looked at him strangely and Harry abruptly stopped laughing.

'Well if that's all Professor, I think I'll go and join the others at Hogsmeade.'

'No Harry, go ahead. I'll see you later.' Dumbledore watched Harry leave and shook his head. 'There is something amiss with that young one.'

////////////////

Harry walked through the hallways muttering to himself.

'All my fault... she wouldn't have got the idea if it wasn't for me... I should have been more careful with the sheet... I should have known she would look under my bed.'

He was in such a daze that he didn't notice Professor Snape look at him strangely and start following him.

'Mr Potter, are you feeling alright? Mr Potter? MR POTTER!'

Snape looked at the face of the boy. Although he didn't particularly like him, lets face it - he hated the sight of him, he was moved by the intense look of distress upon Harry's face that he couldn't help following him to make sure he was ok. He caught some of what Harry was saying to himself and called out.

Harry didn't hear him until he shouted.

'Oh, hello professor,' he said in a dazed tone. 'What are you doing here?'

'Potter are you feeling alright? You look terrible.' Then as Snape realised that he was being nice he caught himself. 'Has your fan club broken up? Has one of your pathetic little admirers found another role model to attach themselves to? Has a devoted fan passed away?'

He immediately felt a stab of guilt and horror and tears welled up in Harry's eyes.

'Not a fan Professor,' Harry said softly looking at the ground. 'Just an enemy of thirteen years.'

Then he turned and ran, hardly noticing as he knocked into Professor Lupin.

Remus Lupin looked around in astonishment to see tears streaming down the face of The Boy Who Lived. 'Harry?'

But Harry kept running until he had vanished around a corner.

'Severus, what did you say to him?' Lupin asked as he walked over to a stunned Professor Snape.

'Nothing worse than usual, he was muttering weirdly to himself and when I asked him what was wrong he just started crying and ran away.'

'How did you phrase you question, Severus?' asked Lupin looking at him shrewdly.

Snape shook his head. 'It wasn't cruel, it was just a taunt about his fan club that the little Weasley girl and the Creevy boys started.'

'He came from Albus's office. I was on my way there as I assume you were too, to report on the...erm... situation. Lets ask him about it.

///////////////

Harry lay on the bed of his dorm with three new gashes in each wrist. He knew all his fellow fifth years were at Hogsmeade so he was in no danger of being disturbed.

Tears ran down his face as he started mopping up the blood off his arm with the towels next to him.

He was startled by a knock at the door. 'Harry,' came the sound of Lupin's voice, muffled by the heavy oak door. 'Harry can we come in?'

Harry jumped and hurriedly wiped the blood off his arm and hid the towels under Seamus's bed. In his hurry he forgot to replace the concealment charms.

'Come in,' he said wearily as he pulled his sleeves down.

He looked up to see Professor Lupin enter the room with, to his horror, Professor Snape.

'Oh... um hi Professors. What brings you here?'

'Well Harry both Professor Snape and myself saw you in the hallway and you looked quite distressed so we went to the Headmaster who told us that...that...' Lupin stopped and sniffed the air.

He turned to Snape 'Can you smell something?'

Snape bit back an angry answer 'No Lupin, I cant.'

'It smells like blood.'

Harry tried to look politely confused as Snape snarled back, 'YOU would be able to smell blood a mile away, what with your animal instincts.'

Lupin shrugged off the dig and turned back to Harry. 'Anyway as I was saying we heard that you had had some bad news and we wondered if you wanted someone to talk to.

Harry, who was annoyed at being interrupted and smarting about Snape's remark to Lupin, spat 'And I have the sympathy of the ever so wonderful Professor Snape? Well wonder of wonders, next he will be joining one of my fan clubs and becoming one of my pathetic admirers, well if his sympathy is all that I can expect I would sooner go without! Which was what I was planning on doing anyway,' he muttered in a quieter tone.

'Harry,' warned Lupin in a steely voice. 'Remember what you are saying,'

Snape just stood in shock. Then he shook himself. He opened his mouth to retort but a glance from Lupin silenced him.

'Harry we are only trying to help,' said Lupin gently.

Harry threw his hands up in defeat. 'I know, I'm sorry professors, I didn't mean to ye - BUGGER, SHIT!'

As Harry had thrown his hands up, the sleeves of his robes had slipped up his arms leaving his arms bare.

The professors had a quick view of two arms covered in scars and cuts, a few of them still bleeding, before they were hustled out the door of the and it slammed and locked behind them.

Harry fell against the wall in shock then jumped as the two professors started hammering on the door.

'Harry, Harry open the door'

'Potter don't be a fool, open the damn door.'

Harry grabbed his Firebolt from beside his bed, and picking up his blade, he covered himself in his invisibility cloak and clambered out the window.

Outside the door Lupin was using every unlocking charm he knew on the door while Snape was yelling at the younger children who had crowded around.

Ron and Hermione heard shouting as they climbed in through the portrait hole and ran to see what was happening. They pushed their way through a crowd of first years who were crowded around Ron and Harry's dorm.

What met their eyes was Professor Lupin alternately banging and casting spell on the door of the door to the boys room. Snape was yelling at the younger students and shouting spells at Lupin.

Suddenly Snape saw Ron and Hermione and beckoned them up the stairs.

'Weasley, Granger how can we get in to this room?'

Ron and Hermione were staring at him as if he had gone mad but Ron handed him a key saying 'No spells can unlock this door, Professor Lupin should know that but here's the key.'

'LUPIN!' shouted Snape. 'Here's the key.'

Lupin snatched the key and opened the door. Both he and Snape ran in to the room to find it empty.

'Um, Professors,' said Hermione timidly 'what's going on?'

'Hermione!' said Lupin grabbing her arm tightly. 'How could Harry have got out of this room with the door locked?'

'Harry?' asked Hermione suddenly frightened 'what's wrong with Harry,'

'We don't know Hermione, we were trying to find out before he locked us out.'

'Where would he go Miss Granger?' interjected Snape.

It was Ron who spoke up. 'I think he flew out the window. His broom has gone and it was there this morning, and the window is open.' He didn't mention the invisibility cloak that was also missing.

'DAMMIT!' yelled Lupin kicking the wall.

'Careful Lupin,' warned Snape. 'Weasley, Granger don't mention this to him when you next see him pretend you don't know about anything that has happened here. We will speak to him ourselves'

He and Lupin turned and made their way down the stairs. Snape stopped to warn the younger children not to mention what had just happened to anyone or they all would have a month of detentions, and the they both swept out of the common room.

/////////////////////

Harry flew out the window without any real plan as to where he was going. When he looked around he realised that he was heading in the direction of Sirius's cave. He decided that since he was already half way there he might as well continue.

He flew down to mouth of the cave and called out 'Sirius, are you there? Can I come in?'

'Sure Harry,'

Harry took off the invisibility cloak and rushed in to the cave. He bowed to Buckbeak the Hippogriff and ran over to Sirius.

'So why aren't you in school young man?' asked Sirius, ruffling Harry's hair.

'Uncle Vernon's company collapsed, they had to move to the East End. I think Vernon and Dudley were hitting Petunia. She killed herself.' Harry ended before breaking down into tears.

'Sh...she was the only p...person who was even relatively nice to me in that house. Dumbledore wrote to her about the tri-wizard tournament and she was sympathetic. In the last week that I was with her she was really kind. She saved me from being beaten by Vernon. She even got them out of the house so that they wouldn't cause a scene when you picked me up that day. They only kept me in the first place because she insisted because I was her sisters child. Now I have no where to live because there is no room in their new home and I would just end up being a punching bag for Dudley and Vernon.'

Harry sat on the floor crying for what seemed like hours. Sirius just sat next to him and hugged him. Harry suddenly dried his eyes and sat up.

'And then I had an argument with Snape and Lupin and I said a lot of stuff I shouldn't to Snape. And then they saw...er...I mean...I flew out the window and came here.'

Sirius frowned slightly at the conclusion of his recount 'Harry... why did you fly out the window? Wouldn't it make more sense to leave the castle first?'

'Well, I had actually locked Snape and Lupin out by then and they were banging on the door and trying to open it so that option wasn't really available.'

Sirius chuckled at the thought of his godson locking Snape and Lupin out of the dorm and flying out the window. Then a thought struck him.

'Harry, why did you lock them out?'

Harry hesitated 'um...er...well I was upset, yeah, and I didn't want to talk to them.'

Harry glanced up to see if Sirius had bought the story. Sirius was looking doubtful and opened his mouth to say something when a voice sounded from outside.

'Sirius it's Remus, can I come in?'

'Don't tell him I was here,' implored Harry.

Sirius looked at the face of his dead best friend, whose wife's eyes were begging and pleading with him for this one small favour, and he nodded and pushed Harry into a dark corner with his cloak and broom.

'Leave as soon as you have the chance... Sure come in, Moony.'

Remus walked in and looked around suspiciously. 'Was someone here? I thought I heard voices.'

'Nope,' replied Sirius glancing into the corner. 'I was just talking to myself.'

'Hmmmm. Well, Sirius I wanted to talk to you about Harry.'

Remus began the story and was up to the part where he had begun to smell blood when he stopped and looked at Sirius.

'Not boring you am I Padfoot?'

'No, sorry, please continue,' said Sirius arranging his face into what he hoped was an 'I am very interested and I've never heard this story before' kind of expression.

Apparently it didn't work.

'Ok I am sure you have already heard one version of the story. I knew I heard voices. Is he gone?'

'Yeah, he waved as he flew out of the cave mouth just as you went into Dumbledore's office.' He shrugged sheepishly 'He's James's son, what could I do?'

'Well you can listen to my version of the story which I am sure is more accurate than his.'

Sirius listened open mouthed to the rest of the story.

'I take it he didn't tell you anything like that.'

Sirius shook his head wordlessly as another voice sounded from outside the cave.

'Sirius, its Ron and Hermione, can we come in, are you there?'

Lupin looked at Sirius and shrugged. 'They're going to find out anyway, perhaps they already know something that we don't.'

Sirius nodded and called them in.

After bowing to Buckbeak Ron and Hermione ran in.

'We wanted to talk to you about Harry, Sirius,' began Hermione, then broke off as she saw Lupin. 'Oh, I didn't know you were here Professor, ummm...'

She looked at Ron for support. 'Yeah,' he added, 'we'll come back later, shall we.'

They turned to leave.

'Wait a moment you two. You aren't going to get away so easily.'

Ron and Hermione turned, reluctantly.

'I am here to talk to Sirius about Harry as well so we may as well all talk together.'

Hermione glanced at Ron and they sat down.

'Well,' prompted Sirius. 'what did you want to say.'

'It's just that after he and Professor Snape left, Dean, Seamus and Neville came back and Seamus was looking under his bed for some Fizzing Wizzbee's that he dropped and he found this under his bed.'

Ron held out a badly blood stained towel.

'And none of us had ever seen it before, and after what we witnessed with you and Snape, we thought it might have something to do with Harry.' Hermione finished.

'Well this only confirms what I already thought,' Remus said heavily.

Sirius nodded

There was a long silence before Ron broke it. 'Confirms what? We told you what we know so now it's your turn. Spill!'

Remus glanced at Sirius before looking back at them. 'Alright,' he said, 'but you won't like it.'

///////////////////////

When Remus Lupin finished explaining the events of earlier in the day Ron and Hermione sat silently in shock. Hermione was the one who finally broke the silence.

'Well, I mean it makes sense when you think about it. He has the right background and circumstances to be someone who does...this.'

'What? How do you know all this? You don't...you know...do you?'

'Of course not Ron, don't be so stupid. I...'

'Read about it in a book!' the other three finished for her.

'Well, what if I did, it's not a crime,' she returned defiantly.

'I've never seen a book on whatever this thing is called, before.'

'It's called self-mutilation, Ron, and muggles have plenty of books about it. I've got some that I brought for some reading this year because I want to do a course in psychology in a muggle university when I'm older.'

The men just looked at her dumfounded and then continued talking.

'I don't think any of us should mention this conversation to him,' said Sirius.

'You're not just a pretty face are you, Padfoot,' mocked Lupin. 'Although, seriously, I don't think you two should let on that you know his secret. I'm sure that he knows that you know, Sirius, I'll warn Snape not to mention it and then I'll speak to Dumbledore.'

'What do you mean, you will speak to Dumbledore? He's my godson so I will, too.'

'Can't we all go and speak to Professor Dumbledore? I mean, I've been thinking and I am starting to see where this all adds up.'

'What do you mean Hermione?'

'Well, Sir, its just now that I look back I realise how obvious it is that he has been doing it.'

'How so?'

'For instance on the train coming up to Hogwarts Harry got up to speak to Cho Chang. He has a bit of a crush on her...'

'I see,' interjected Sirius grinning. 'so my godson is straight. I was beginning to wonder.'

Lupin gave him a strange look and Hermione continued.

'...as I was saying he likes her but she was Cedric Diggory's girlfriend. And so Harry gets up to speak to her, and she looks at him like he is the son of You Know Who and runs to the next carriage.'

'I'm sorry for butting in Hermione, but I don't quite see where this is going.'

Well, Professor, we pretended that we hadn't noticed anything and Harry was a bit quiet which was to be expected. But he kept his hand in his robe pocket and it looked like he was fingering something.'

Sirius and Ron both gave a shout of laughter at this statement and Hermione blushed when she realised what she had said. Lupin, however, glared at them and told her to continue.

'Well suddenly he got up and left. He was gone a fair while but when he came back he was looking calmer and more relaxed.'

'Hermione that isn't really hard evi...'

'Hang on,' shouted Ron. 'I remember that. I didn't see the look on his face but I remember noticing a dark stain on the sleeve of his robes that I could have sworn wasn't there before and he was holding his arm all weird.'

'See!'

'And, like, whenever Malfoy insults him or makes a dig at him because he is an orphan or whatever, Harry always disappears shortly after that.'

'And on the first day of school when he left the beginning of term feast early, claiming he was tired, but and when I went up to the dorm later he was awake, just staring out the window and there was blood on the floor.'

'Yeah, and...'

'Ok, we're getting the picture.'

'Well I think its time to return to the school. Sirius, are you coming to see Dumbledore?'

Sirius nodded and transformed into a shaggy black dog and they all left the cave.