We Wasted Years

Cursing her luck, Ginny allowed Gerard to seat her opposite Draco. She scowled inwardly dreading the next hour or so of her life and wishing she were dead; anything to save herself from the terrors that this luncheon was bound to bring.

Caleb was sitting to her right, across from Elena who had still hardly spoken two words since their initial greeting. Gerard, after seating Ginny, had gone to his own seat at the head of the table. Ginny's heart dropped against her will, or at least fluttered rather violently, as she watched Draco pull out a chair for Elena and then push her seat into the table.

She couldn't help but stare as he completed the gentlemanly deed. And she couldn't look away when Draco's eyes blazed into hers either. He sat down awkwardly across from her, as though he were embarrassed and focused all of his attention on folding his napkin in his lap. Ginny decided that she should do the same as she grabbed her own folded cloth napkin.

Suddenly a feast appeared before them and Gerard motioning to the scrumptious food and boomed,

"Help yourselves."

At first no one spoke, each of them too concentrated on tasting the wonderful cuisine, or in Ginny's case scared shitless that if she opened her mouth something bad would come out.

"This is delicious. You know, house elves from England are so much better than the ones you can buy in America. We tried them out years ago, but they just didn't have the same level of professionalism as the ones in England. We kept the American ones no longer than a week, before I sent for a few from over in England."

"I wish we would have had house elves growing up," Caleb joked. "My mother would have been much lighter on me as a kid." No one laughed. The angst sucked all of the lightheartedness out of them and out of the room all together.

It seemed, however, that this strain did not overpower Gerard or Caleb as much as it did the rest of the crew. The two of them carried on by themselves.

"Frankly Caleb, I couldn't imagine life without them. Who in the world would cook if it weren't for them? I don't know a thing when it comes to being in the kitchen. In fact, I hardly even know where it is here," Gerard laughed looking around the room as though in search of a doorway that would take him into the kitchen. Caleb looked around too just for conversation sake, but neither of them found a door leading to the kitchen, and none of the rest of them even bothered to look.

"You mean the house elves cooked all of this food?" Caleb asked unbelievingly.

Ginny grabbed for her glass, already bored of the conversation. There was no way she could think about house elves when she was sitting where she was and across from Draco Malfoy. He didn't seem to really be paying attention to the conversation either. Ginny didn't look at him, but she could feel his eyes scanning her all over and she could hardly control the shivers that her body was threatening to emit.

She was discouraged when she brought the glass to her lips that it had not been some kind of wine. It was only water, but she was still grateful for its coolness that refreshed her, even if only for a moment.

His eyes were on her again, eating her up. She looked across at him from over her glass, hoping to catch a peek without him realizing it, but she got a shock when she found his silver eyes staring back. The heat rose steadily on her cheeks until she knew they were flushed a deep pink, but she couldn't look away.

She set her glass down slowly, their eyes locked on each other, bringing the past out from deep within. The longer she stared the more clear her memories became in her mind; they were beginning to cover her brain so that she could think of nothing else. She tried to fight the memories from reappearing because she knew she would be a mess if she let them go on any further. The past had hurt too much for her to have any desire to relive it a second time.

"Ginny?" A voice saved her from herself and she looked around without a clue.

Everyone else was staring at her expectantly, waiting for her to say something. Without amusement, she saw that Draco's lips were barely curled upward into that smirk that she used to love so long ago.

"Gerard was just talking about Hogwarts. Isn't that where you went to school Ginny? I couldn't remember."

"..."

"Draco, you went to Hogwarts too, if I'm not mistaken," Gerard added before Ginny had a chance to say anything.

She looked at Draco in alarm and wonderment as well. She waited for him to say something, she was curious to hear what he would say.

"Yes, my father sent me to Hogwarts. It's a fine school," Draco answered Gerard who had a calculating look in his eye.

"You say you went to Hogwarts too?" Gerard asked Ginny and she couldn't help but gulp.

"I also attended Hogwarts. You were right Caleb," she muttered.

"Well, you two aren't far off in age. You must have been there together," Caleb assumed, waiting for confirmation.

Ginny's gaze went immediately to Draco. Her eyes were wide in surprise. They really had no clue did they? Draco was awaiting an answer from her, just like she had done to him, and she found her voice weak when she tried to speak.

"Yes, we um, we were at Hogwarts around the same time. A year apart," she mumbled more to herself. Then her voice was louder when she added, "We didn't really know each other though, did we?"

It was the first thing she had addressed directly to him all day, and the pain she had felt so long ago returned the strongest in that moment as she waited for his agreement.

"Hardly at all," Draco said quietly but his eyes burned back into hers forcing her to remember all the millions of times that contradicted his statement.

It was working, and Ginny's wall was beginning to crumble. The memories were pouring out of her and she was unable to stop them. Caleb and Gerard went back into their own conversation about their own schools in their day, comparing them to the plan that they were going to be building and Ginny went back to her sixth year at Hogwarts, on the last night before summer vacation.

She loved being in Draco's private chamber, the one good thing his father had done for him in all of his eighteen years. His room was just as large as the dorm she shared with three other girls, but instead it only had one giant bed, where she had spent many nights.

She spent more of her time in his dorm than she did in her own anymore, she mused as she followed Draco through the portrait hole like she did almost every night. His hand was holding hers loosely, but he never let it go even as he climbed through the tiny portrait whole.

"I can't not touch you," he'd said once when she had questioned him about it.

Now they were laughing and breathing hard leaning against the door, after fleeing from Filch and Mrs. Norris near the library. It was after hours. They'd always met outside the library. Either one or the other of them would stay there, studying or at least pretending to study until Madame Pince kicked them out at curfew; then they would wait for the other one to show up so that they could go to Draco's room without anyone noticing.

It had been going on for most of the year, and still they had been able to keep their relationship under wraps. Even now she almost couldn't believe that they were a pair, looking back she couldn't remember how it had gotten started; but it had and that's all that mattered.

"How horrible would it have been if Filch had caught us tonight?" Ginny asked him still giggling. It would be their last night together at Hogwarts, which was what she was referring to.

He pulled her in close wrapping his arms around her waist before he answered,

"It wouldn't have mattered. I would have told him to go off and fuck himself, if we would have gotten caught." Draco laughed and Ginny rolled her eyes at him pulling away.

"Yeah right." She laughed, pinching his side companionably making him jerk.

"Yes I would have," Draco disagreed, pulling her back into his arms. "He wouldn't have been able to do anything about it."

"What ever you say, Draco." She rolled her eyes again, knowing that she was threatening his pride. She loved to rile him up; it was so easy.

"How dare you," Draco exclaimed. "You don't think I would stand up to Filch!"

He was so adorable when he was angry and pouting that she couldn't resist.

"You said it, not me!"

"That's it, I've had enough. I know just what you need: one good spanking." His voice was suddenly lower as he slapped her butt playfully. She yelped in surprise and jumped away from the hand.

"Draco, how dare you!" She gasped trying to stay serious as she stepped away from him and put her hands on her hips, but the façade was ruined when she walked backwards into the door that she hadn't realized was so close behind her and almost tripped in the shock.

She snorted and Draco laughed loudly at her before he continued trying to get words in between his laughter.

"How dare I what, Gin? I haven't done anything yet."

He walked toward her with a mischievous smile, and she tried to back away so that he would have to chase her but she forgot about that damned door and slapped into it again. She giggled, but before she could flee to the other end of his bedroom, he had closed in and she was pressed up against the door, his hands clasped around her wrists holding them at her sides.

"Not too graceful, are we?" he said in a husky voice as he inched his face slowly closer to hers, still chuckling lightly.

Ginny's eyes fluttered closed as her heartbeat quickened. She forgot that she had wanted him to work for her affections tonight, now she was putty in his hands. Who was she kidding? She was always melting in his arms. He was irresistible and she couldn't help herself. She sighed as she waited breathlessly for the touch of his lips on hers. He stopped only a breath away from her trembling lips and a whimper escaped her just before she closed them over Draco's own.

His tongue entered her mouth instantly and she wrapped her arms around his neck so that she was wedged in between his muscular body and the wooden door. His hands held her waist and his fingertips dug into her hips as their kiss deepened. His kisses strayed from her mouth to move down her jaw line toward her silky neck. She threw back her head, which pushed her chest forward pulling him even closer against her. She felt him nearly throbbing on her leg and she gasped, surprised at how quickly she had gotten to him. She smiled up to the ceiling as she felt Draco's tongue moving up her neck, then back onto her jaw line. He trailed swift kisses upward until he reached her ear. Then his teeth were wreaking havoc on her ear lobe and she felt her knees give out making her slip to the floor.

"Where do you think you're going?" he asked chuckling and steadying her a moment before he brought his hands to her rear end and lifted her up into his arms. She wrapped her legs around his waist, too weak to stand. It was about the only other thing she could do with them. Her legs had gone completely limp.

They were a perfect fit, their bodies matched each other's perfectly, and Ginny was suddenly growing hot as she cradled him between her legs. She squirmed a little, testing the waters and he groaned into her mouth gripping her bum harder at the tension that was building inside of him.

"This is what you do to me," he moaned pressing firmly into her. She opened her eyes wide and neither moved as they studied each other.

"Draco, take me," she exclaimed letting out her hot breath and closing her eyes. She moved against him, to spur him further, and the message came across loud and clear.

"My pleasure," he growled as he spun her around and carried her to the king sized bed before spilling her out on top of the silk sheets.

He climbed up onto the bed to spread himself over her and in no time he was laying on top of her. He threw her hands up above her head and held them there as his lips made his mark upon her neck. She moved under him to move him further on; the ache in her center was growing with each second and they were still fully clothed. If she didn't pick up the pace she would surely die. When he wasn't expecting it, she flipped him over so that she straddled him pinning his hands above his head like he had done to her.

"Gin," he shuddered as she moved over him. She soon forgot to pin him down and his free hands went to her breasts.

Frustrated with her shirt, he pulled it up over her head in one swift movement and threw it onto the floor. Her bra followed quickly behind it and soon Draco was cupping her breasts. She folded her arms above her head and arched her back at his magical touch allowing her a moment of pure pleasure before she would explode.

And then her tolerance shattered like glass into jagged shards. Her hands roamed all over his body removing all of his clothing in under a minute. She went to reach for him in her haste but he was too quick for her and he flipped her back over so that he could finish undressing her. He slowly pulled her skirt down her toned legs until she wore only her lacy underwear. His hands slowly roamed over the waistband of her undies in pure torture.

"Draco, I swear," she huffed as she wrapped her legs once again around his waist and pulled herself to him. "Now!" She almost screamed.

She was close to useless by the time he finally slipped off her last piece of clothing, and she hardly noticed it. But she did notice when he slid into her very slowly kissing her lips all the while. There was a moment of tenderness, as he stopped moving over her and began to study her face. She opened her eyes, not making a sound, not knowing what to do in this sudden moment of adoration. She saw her entire world in Draco's eyes at that moment and then it was gone and he was taking them both over the edge with each thrust of his lust.

Someone cleared their throat; Ginny wasn't sure whom, as she looked around the table in noiseless alarm. There was a moment of panic there for a second as she realized where she had gone off to, as though they would all have known what she had been thinking about. None of them noticed her mental absence, however, except for Draco. She glanced across the table and she felt a wave of embarrassment wash over her. He was studying her and in a way that made her think he had been the entire time she'd zoned off. Their eyes met once again, and Ginny was suddenly self-conscious.

Her face was flushed with the memories of the passion that Draco had unleashed in her. She was quite sure she'd had a giddy-goofy smile on her face as she relived their last time together. He raised a brow slightly at her, so slightly that she might have been imagining it, and then Draco swiftly turned his head back toward the conversation of the table. Elena was speaking.

"Third child? Really?"

Ginny's attention immediately went to the former mute. She was outrageously curious about who Elena was as a person, above all, the part of her that had won over Draco.

"Yes, Emma just told us only last week! Your mother was speechless." Gerard laughed. Elena didn't, and the rest of them were clueless, except for Draco who exhibited no show of emotion whatsoever.

Elena got quiet again after her tiny chat with her father. She didn't seem to want to continue the topic of discussion. Her posture became stiff as she picked up her glass and held it to her mouth as if it were a shield guarding her from more of her father's brambles.

"Emma is Elena's younger sister," Gerard, apparently not satisfied yet, informed Caleb and Ginny. "They're only a year apart. Let's see, Emma got married about seven months after you were married to Draco. They started their family right away, unlike our Elena here."

He paused, not noticing how red Elena's face was turning, or how angry she seemed to be getting even while she tried to hide it. She stared down at the tablecloth with venom. Draco too, looked livid, even more so than Elena. He didn't even acknowledge Elena the whole time that Gerard was talking about them as a pair, and neither did Elena.

"Well, it doesn't matter now, now that you two finally have a child on the way. Your mother and I had been waiting for so long, we began to worry about you two, but it seems there was nothing to fuss over." He gave Elena's tummy a contented pat of approval.

An unknown anger suddenly grew within Ginny, ignited by that bulge in Elena's tummy. She couldn't help the jealousy that spilled from her eyes as she stared at the small protruding bulge. The green envy turned into a clear salty blue as she felt tears welling up in her eyes, the same tears that fell that night at the end of her sixth year when Draco ended it all. Those same tears that she'd cried all those times between now, and that time so long ago.

When it was all over they laid together in the mess of his sheets, like they did every night. Ginny was almost asleep on Draco's chest, she could feel his slow rhythmic breathing and she knew he was almost asleep, too. She closed her eyes in perfect contentment and just listened to Draco's breathing in the otherwise silent room. She let her thoughts wander as she lay there on their last night at Hogwarts together. Suddenly, there grew a huge tension in her chest as the words she was thinking finally began to sink in. It was their last night together, what was going to happen to this perfect thing they had? She needed to know.

"Draco?" she murmured, hoping that he wasn't truly asleep, even if he looked like an angel when he did. He didn't respond at first, so she pried again, running her hands over his chest.

"Draco, are you awake?"

He grunted his confirmation, but he didn't actually make any words. He didn't even open his eyes as he tucked his chin down and gave her a light kiss on the forehead hoping that it would be enough to satisfy her.

"Draco," she pleaded and he finally made an effort to answer her. "Were you asleep?"

"Not quite," he murmured, their voices stayed barely above whispers in the silence of his dark room. He put his hand on her waist and began rubbing his hand up and down her side.

"I was thinking," Ginny began, talking up to the ceiling, but the rest of the words that she had formed in her head disappeared and she didn't know how to begin.

The room was suddenly tense and she knew that Draco knew what she wanted to talk about. Neither spoke for a few minutes. Ginny sat perfectly still in silence terrified at how Draco was reacting. He was silent too, but she had no clue why and she couldn't stay silent any longer. She needed to know what was on his mind, so she started again.

"What's going to happen to us?"

She waited for a moment, and then she waited longer. It was silent; Draco had not spoken a word. He communicated his thoughts to Ginny through his caresses down her side. Ginny felt everything in that one movement. Her heart had been beating wildly in her chest before, but she had calmed slightly now. Now she knew she had nothing to worry about. Everything was going to be okay. Draco loved her, and wanted to be with her. He hadn't exactly given her any answer to her question, but his touching made up for the silence. She couldn't see his face, but she knew he was smiling. She just knew.

All her troubles were disappearing and she was so relieved that she had begun to feel sleepy. All of the anticipation was wearing her out. She snuggled closer into his warmth ready to fall into a deep slumber.

"Draco, I'm so happy. Now we won't have to hide each other anymore! I love you! I want the whole wide world to know it!" She was beaming in excitement and she thought she might just burst.

It was the first time she'd ever told him of her true feelings, but it felt so good to let him know how much she loved him. She was so proud of herself for overcoming such a hurdle that she didn't realize that Draco's hand had stopped roaming over her curves; it had frozen on her waist. Draco sat up suddenly on the bed taking the warmth with him. Ginny lay bare on her side almost shivering in the sudden cold. She tilted her head up to see the back of Draco's head. He wasn't facing her.

"Draco?" She didn't move; she couldn't, and neither did he. He looked as stiff as a board, erected into perfect posture. He still remained completely silent.

"Draco, what's wrong?" She sat up next to him, afraid to touch him. She had no clue what was going on, she had just told him she loved him for Merlin's sake, and now she wanted to cry out in her helplessness. When she finally got the courage to touch his shoulder he exploded and jerked up off the bed away from her, taking the comforter with him.

"You love me and you want the whole world to know it? What kind of rubbish is that Ginny? Are you fucking serious? Use your brain, if you've got one under all that Weasley hair!"

"What the hell are you talking about 'all that Weasley hair'? How dare you! And what does that have to do with anything?"

Ginny was near panic mode and she was completely befuddled at what had irked Draco into reacting so harshly and so very coldly. Luckily her anger hid her fright, and he didn't see how much he was tearing her up inside. It was as though the old Malfoy had returned, and this thought both shocked and insulted her down to the very core.

He laughed in her face and she was certain this wasn't her Draco.

"Who are you?"

Draco stopped laughing suddenly and looked directly at her, taken back by her question. Her eyes filled with tears the longer she held his stare.

"If you don't know then what the fuck are we doing?" Draco's voice was just above a whisper, and yet it dominated the room. Ginny was speechless for a moment, then her irrational heart went into overdrive.

"Is that how you really feel?"

"I'm a Malfoy, I don't' feel anything," Draco smirked cynically. "You knew that all along, and if suddenly you don't like it; then leave."

He raised an eyebrow as though he was going to laugh at her again, but she didn't wait around for his mirth. She jumped up from the bed as though it were full of hot coals pulling the sheet around her tightly as she did it.

She went on a frantic search for her clothing all over his room as he just sat on the bed calmly watching her. When she finally found her bra and underwear, one on top of the dresser and the other under his desk she glared at him to look away so that she could put on her clothes. Surprisingly he did so and even held his tongue while she pulled on her skirt and t-shirt. Her school robes were hanging on the door handle of his room and she snatched for them, searching quickly for her wand in the inner pocket.

When she had found it, she reached for the doorknob savagely. But when she went to turn it, she could not do it for the life of her. She was frozen with wide eyes staring at her hand, the one that would lead her away from Draco forever. She needed to turn the knob and get out of there, but she could not. Her head drooped and she lightly touched her forehead to the wooden door, exhaling her breath. Rashly, she turned back round in a last plea to him.

"Draco, we can't end it this way!"

"We just did, sweetie, sorry to break it to you," Draco said turning back around on the bed to give her a look completely void of any emotion.

"What is all of this really about? I'll understand, if only you'd just tell me. Talk to me. You always used to talk to me, why did you stop?" Her voice cracked and the last words came out sounding pathetically like a pouting little girl. Draco was not fazed as he watched her breakdown.

"You're so unbelievably naïve. If I ever talked to you it was only to lessen the boredom in between the tumbling every night."

"You're a liar!" she roared, her voice almost hoarse making it sound even more wretched than it was. "You can't possibly look me in the eye and tell me it was only the sex, you just can't."

The tears were streaming down her eyes now as she watched Draco spread his slow, sly smile over his face, but it didn't reach his eyes. They held no expression in any way.

"You're right. The sex wasn't even worth half of this shit you're crying over now."

She crossed the room in three swift steps before she wound up her arm to bring a deafeningly cracking slap over his cheek. She couldn't see his face as she connected with his cheek because her eyes were too crowded up with tears, but she was sure that it would have been priceless. Then she turned from his room and ran before he got a chance to retaliate.

Ginny's eyes refocused and she saw that her plate had been spectacularly cleared. She hadn't even touched the food once during the meal, but she wasn't in the least bit hungry. Their drinks had not been touched, however. There were now two glasses in front of her instead of just one. She reached for the new glass in victory, tasting the much-needed red wine and allowing it to calm her nerves. She cast a glance around the table and saw that all three men were talking together now.

She took the opportunity to study Draco, even though she'd been making eyes at him throughout the entire meal already. Now he wouldn't notice her and so the appeal was somewhat heightened. His face was the same, minus only the great boyishness that she remembered. She actually saw bags under his eyes, tiny ones though, and they really only made him that much more attractive. He had a look of maturity that had been completely nonexistent back at Hogwarts.

Oh Merlin, remembering Hogwarts was a bad thing to do. She felt angry all over again. Her emotions were going from one high to the next. With the memories fresh on her mind she glared at Draco, not really aware of what she was doing, but he chose at that precise moment to return her stares. Instantly she removed the glare from her face, but by his expression she knew he had seen her and she knew that it meant something to him.

A house elf awkwardly entered the room. It was the same one that had taken her and Caleb down to the dining hall in the first place. She walked over to Gerard, eyeing the rest of them on the way. She curtsied uneasily when she reached him, as though she wasn't really used to doing such a thing.

"Yes, Levee." Gerard looked annoyed, but she hoped it was just for show, what with all the company.

"Sorry to intrude sir, Mister Matthews is here sir. He apologizes for his prior tardiness, but he's waiting in the foyer," she dutifully informed him. Gerard rose from his chair right away. Mr. Matthews must be important, Ginny mused to herself.

"Well, we're close to finished." Gerard shrugged, looking around the table. "My apologies for my rudeness, but Earl Matthews is our contractor. He was supposed to be dining with us today, but he got caught up in other business."

"Oh, it's no problem," Caleb shrugged speaking for the whole group. He rose from his chair, and urged Ginny to do the same.

"Actually Caleb, you should meet him. You'll be working alongside him, and you too Draco." Gerard nodded toward him.

"I suppose," Draco responded indifferently.

"Well good, we'll make our way to the parlor and perhaps you two women can busy yourselves together. There is plenty to do around here, Merlin knows."

Ginny nodded and looked over to Elena who seemed not at all interested in the idea. She was picking lint off her shirt, but Ginny nodded to Gerard anyway. The three men exited the room, and in no time Elena too was gone. Ginny furrowed her brows in confusion; she was now the only one left in the dining area, and she had no idea how to get out and back to the safety of her own bedroom.

Ginny stared at the door in abandonment, not really sure of what she should do. Just then, Levee came bustling back into the room, humming a tune softly and a little flat. The melody she hummed instantly was lost; alarm entered her bulging eyes, but Ginny only laughed.

"Hi...Levee, um, do you think you could show me the way back to my room? They've all left me behind." Levee looked around the room, as though she didn't believe Ginny. There was a moment when Ginny thought that Levee was going to turn her down, but then Levee finally nodded.

"Certainly missus," she called waving her arm at Ginny to follow her and then the two of them were back out in the ever-popular navy blue hall.

It didn't seem to take as long to get back to her room than before, but that was partially because Ginny hadn't been paying attention. Levee stopped in front of a white door and gestured to the knob grandly.

"Here you are," she added with a nervous smile.

"It blends right in," Ginny laughed shyly, her thoughts completely elsewhere.

"You'll get used to it in no time," Levee reassured her in a way that Ginny didn't expect to come from a house elf. Ginny thanked Levee, but quickly retreated into her room where she could be wonderfully alone. She needed this time to herself.

29