The Awakening Power

Sib

Story Summary:
Complete! Challenges fill Harry's busy sixth year: growing powers, Snape becomes defense teacher (and Harry's not in the mood for abuse), a new Potions teacher, a girl with a new crush on him, Quidditch, Voldemort, and a certain redheaded girl named Ginny who may help him through all of it. What are the goblins up to? Will Ron win Hermione back? And what exactly is Voldemort's diabolical plan to kill Harry and plunge magical society into anarchy? Lots of romance, drama, action and humor! Voted Phoenix Song's Best Novel-Length Story (along with Best Harry and Best Kiss).

Chapter 25

Chapter Summary:
Harry’s powers are growing very strong, and Dumbledore is worried about his control. Meanwhile, Snape has become the new Defense teacher, and Harry resolves not to take his abuse this year… Will Harry notice Ginny? Will Ron win Hermione back? Who has a new crush on Harry? Who is the new Potions teacher? And what exactly is Voldemort’s diabolical plan to kill Harry and plunge magical society into anarchy? Lots of humor, drama, action and romance as all these questions are answered and much more in Harry’s busy sixth year.
Posted:
07/30/2004
Hits:
4,271
Author's Note:
Harry’s sixth year, after OotP. H/G, R/Hr, PG-13 rating.

Chapter 25: Breakdown

* * *

Harry walked into the Great Hall, music floating through the air. He saw various couples dancing on the floor, spinning about the room. He realized that he didn't have a partner, that he was at the Ball by himself. He needed to find Ginny, she had to be there somewhere...

Walking slowly across the floor, he saw many students that he knew. They smirked at him as they passed, making Harry feel very alone and left out. Finally he spotted Ginny across the floor, dancing with Matt. He anxiously moved toward her... she was angry with him, he needed to talk to her...

"Ginny!" he called out as dancers blocked him frustratingly. If he could just reach her...

"Please! I'm so sorry..." he begged, trying to get her to come to him. She seemed to ignore him as she smiled warmly at Matt, who pulled her in closer. Their faces were very close now...

Harry felt very angry... he felt his wand in his hand, as he gripped it tightly... he could make Matt let her go if he wanted. But he wanted Ginny to come to him...

"Please, Ginny, I wanted to ask you... I'm sorry I took so long..." he said desperately.

Ron and Hermione danced by, looking into each other's eyes happily. Hermione glanced over to him. "She got over you, Harry. Did you really think she would make the same mistake twice?"

Ginny and Matt slowly leaned in together and began kissing... Rage and jealousy flared in Harry as he watched it...They pulled back and Ginny finally looked at him.

"Ginny?" Harry asked tentatively.

She laughed at him. "Really, Harry. Did you think that I would just sit around waiting for you to ask? Give me one good reason why I would want to go with you."

Harry opened his mouth, but nothing came out... He couldn't think of a reason.

"I thought so. Goodbye, Harry," she said, and danced away from him.

He stood rooted to his spot, the couples spinning about the floor, all around him, laughing at him... Despair ran through him, he had to talk to her, to try and explain... he began to run after her...

Harry felt a very odd shift...

He walked through a strange tunnel, sharp rocks jutting out, almost seeming to try and reach out to cut him. The air was damp and stale, with a feeling of being deep underground. Torches lit his way as he moved deeper, deeper into the earth...

Harry felt fearful... he was oddly drawn to this place, there were things here... desirable, necessary things. Things were growing in these caverns... transforming, turning from something plentiful to something rare...

And someone needed these things.

He broke out into a huge cavern, the walls very smooth, but the ceiling was too high to see. Boulders larger than himself were strewn about, seeming to form a maze as his view of the entire cavern floor was blocked. He could hear strange sounds echoing within, footsteps, hammers... flames and bellows? Harry wasn't certain...

He was walking among the boulders when suddenly he had a very odd feeling... a coldness filled him, a cold... satisfaction. His plans were coming together nicely. No one suspected...

He was waiting for something... for someone... his enemy. It wasn't a certainty... but he felt it was only a matter of time before the enemy came searching... searching for remnants...he just had to be patient, and the enemy would come to him... and when the enemy did... he would be ready.

* * *

Harry opened his eyes, his scar flaring agonizingly... a low moan escaped him as the pain caused his legs to pull into a fetal position... he stuck his fist in his mouth, trying to suppress the noise so that no one would hear. Every muscle was tensed as he rocked his whole body on the bed...

Finally the pain faded and he slowly relaxed, legs still pulled in, as the images from the dream ran through his head. His scar had been very quiet this year, so he supposed he should be thankful for that, but the dream had left him badly shaken.

What a great start to the day, he thought with irritation. He ripped open his curtains and saw that everyone else had already headed down to breakfast. Still very drained from his dream, he began to dress, feeling like he'd hardly slept at all.

He stared bleary-eyed into his mirror, wondering about his dream of Ginny. It was almost a week since the Ball, and relations with her were still somewhat strained. Every day he had thought about apologizing again, but memories of his failure on the dance floor kept him from trying again. Things had seemed to be a little less tense in the last few days... but they still weren't back to normal by any means. He had half-hoped she might skip dinner and he could take her down to the kitchens, but she had been in the Great Hall every night.

He still felt very confused about his feelings. He did know that it hurt him for her to be angry with him, and he felt extremely frustrated that he didn't know how to make it better. He angrily walked back to his bed to put on his shoes.

Suddenly a stab of pain shot up his toe. "Ow!" he screamed, as he realized he had just accidentally kicked his trunk. "Bloody damn thing!" he shouted. He reached down and punched the trunk with his fist, sending a sharp pain through his hand as well. He sat down on his bed, seething as he reached for his shoes.

Finally dressed, he stalked toward the door, his mood blacker than it had been in some time. He walked sullenly down the stairs through the common room, which was rather empty at the hour. He slammed open the portrait hole, and the Fat Lady glared at him.

"Well!" she snapped. "Whatever the problem is, it's certainly not my fault!"

Harry ignored her, stomping down the hallway. What next? he thought irritably.

Entering the Great Hall, he saw everyone in the middle of breakfast. Hermione and Ron had saved a spot for him. He noticed that Ginny was sitting with her friends down the table as he sat down in the chair and grumbled a hello.

"Hello, Harry!" Hermione said brightly. "Did you oversleep this morning?" Somehow her happy manner just irritated him more.

"Mornin', mate," Ron said through a mouthful of food.

Suddenly ravenous, Harry loaded up his plate. He was just about to take a bite when Malfoy sauntered up wearing a smirk, apparently in the mood to annoy people.

A sinking feeling ran through Harry. Oh no, not today. Please, not Malfoy, he thought, irritation already rising quickly just seeing Malfoy's mocking face. He started rubbing his temples, a headache coming on.

"I couldn't help but notice that the great Potter was a bit late this morning. Saving the world, no doubt. Don't you want to enthrall us all with your latest exploit?" said Malfoy, sneering. Harry ignored him.

"Don't you have something better to do, Malfoy?" said Hermione, annoyed.

"Who has anything better to do than listen to the illustrious Potter?" said Malfoy.

"Why don't you just leave, Malfoy," Harry said quietly.

"So. Potter can actually speak. I was afraid that perhaps you had to get permission from your motor-mouth girlfriend. Does she do all the speaking for you?" Malfoy shot a glance at Parvati. She looked embarrassed from down the table. Harry's eyes burned at Malfoy.

"Or perhaps there's another girlfriend. Wouldn't it be like a Potter to go for a - redhead. Like father, like son, eh, Potter?"

"I'm warning you, Malfoy. I'm not in the mood. That's enough," Harry said, low and dangerous. Hermione looked worriedly between the two of them.

"Sod off, Malfoy, before I do something I'll regret," said Ron. "On second thought, I doubt anything I did I would later regret."

"Ah, the weasel. Tell me, Weasley, just what is it like? You know, I personally would never sink that low, but I'm curious. Exactly what is it like snogging a Mudblood?" he said snidely.

"That's it!" Harry jumped to his feet, enraged. He pulled his wand, aiming at Malfoy. Even Ron appeared startled by the look in Harry's eye, which seemed to drain Ron's own anger.

"Apologize, now!" Harry snapped.

Malfoy pulled his own wand. Harry felt a surge of adrenalin and barely spoke "Expelliarmus!" when Malfoy's wand whipped out of his hand and flew fifty feet across the hall. Malfoy looked down at his hand and an unmistakable look of fear came on his face.

"Apologize!" Harry said, louder. The Hall grew quieter as the students noticed something unusual happening. The other Gryffindors looked on in fascination at the two of them.

Malfoy stared down at Harry's wand pointed at his heart and seemed unable to speak. His mouth was open, but no words came out. Harry's rage surged at the silence, as his hand tightened on his wand, and suddenly everything burst out of him, a dam of anger breaking. All the stress, all the expectations, and all of his torments seemed embodied in Malfoy.

"So, Malfoy. You want to be a Death Eater, do you? How about if I show you what your master does to people who don't obey? I have personal experience, you know," Harry said, a hot fury running through him.

"Adfectus Anfractum!" Harry hissed, casting the manipulation spell, the spell that Voldemort had used on him in the graveyard after the Triwizard Tournament. Suddenly Malfoy was gripped in an iron force. Harry twisted him around and then pushed him down. Malfoy dropped to his knees before Hermione like a puppet.

Harry gave a cold smile. "Now, beg for forgiveness, Malfoy. Get used to it; Voldemort will want you to do it."

"Beg!" Harry snapped, twisting his wand and tightening the grip. Malfoy cried out in pain.

Malfoy's face was twisted in stark, pained fear, giving Harry a savage pleasure. He seemed unable to bring himself back under control. Snippets of fleeting thought ran through his head... I could hurt him... Just a twist of the wand... He deserves it... All these years of hurting everyone else...

Hermione's voice seemed to break into his thoughts from far away. "Harry! Stop, please, stop..." Harry looked up at her. She was crying hysterically. "Harry! Listen to me, stop this!"

Seeing Hermione's sobbing caused Harry's anger to evaporate as quickly as it had come. He lifted the spell, and Malfoy dropped to the ground, shaking uncontrollably, his face grimacing in pain. Harry slowly realized in horror what he had done, and what he had been contemplating. His wand slipped from his fingers, dropping loudly to the floor in the dead silence of the hall.

He abruptly noticed how quiet it was and glanced around. The entire hall was on its feet, staring at the scene in abject shock and horror. All the teachers were on their feet as well, except for Dumbledore. Most of the teachers had stunned expressions on their faces, although McGonagall's face was a combination of shock and anger, and Snape was staring coldly at the scene with his arms crossed. Dumbledore's face was unreadable, as he sat watching, his fingers laced together.

Harry looked back at his table. Ron's jaw was hanging open, seemingly unable to process what had just happened. Harry looked down the table and locked eyes with Ginny, and what he saw chilled his heart. He saw fear in her eyes, as she quickly looked away. That seemed to drain the last of his energy out of him, and he fell into his chair, burying his head in his hands. What did I do? he thought, as a deep shame came over him. He heard Malfoy finally get up and stagger away, but he didn't look up. He didn't think he could face anyone ever again.

He heard footsteps come up behind him. "Mr. Potter, perhaps you'd better come with me." It was Dumbledore, his voice gentle, but solemn.

He brought his head up and nodded at Dumbledore. He retrieved his wand and put it away in his robe. He avoided everyone's eyes as he walked out, a nervous murmuring having replaced the dead silence.

He followed Dumbledore down the passageways. Somehow he could feel the disappointment from him, and it made his shame even worse. How had he lost control so badly? He just wanted to run away, run from Hogwarts, his friends, everyone.

Ginny's fearful face came to him again, and he felt a terrible pain. He had been struggling with his feelings for her, but somehow seeing her afraid of him had put his feelings in sharp relief. He realized how important she was to him, and he had destroyed everything in all of two minutes. She probably hates me now, he thought miserably.

"Toffee Bean," Dumbledore said, as they reached his office. The statue slid aside and Harry followed him into the chamber. Harry fell into a chair, and Dumbledore took his seat behind his desk.

Dumbledore paused, gathering his thoughts. Harry squirmed, wondering if he would be expelled. I probably should be expelled, he thought gloomily.

"Harry, do you know what you did?" Dumbledore said finally.

"I-I got angry at Malfoy," Harry said nervously.

"Yes, you did. But you didn't just get angry, did you?"

"No, sir. I guess - I lost control," said Harry.

Dumbledore nodded approvingly. "Yes. That's it exactly. We all get angry, Harry. It's a perfectly natural response, and an important one. Anger is what we use to correct wrongs in the world. Anger is what shows we care. What's important is how we handle our anger, and how we use our strong emotions."

Harry nodded.

"That spell you used was very powerful, Harry. And very dangerous. It's not an Unforgivable, but it's one that's rarely used on human beings. Do you know why?"

"I-I think I know... The book had some warnings..."

"That spell is difficult to control. One can push someone down, as you did. Or one can shatter their limbs. Break their back. Snap their neck. Crush their skull. It only takes a twist of the wand, Harry," Dumbledore said gravely.

Harry felt a chill go down his spine. If it was possible, he felt even worse.

"Or, I should say, you could make those things happen," Dumbledore said.

Harry looked up, confused.

"Harry, it's time for us to talk about your power," Dumbledore continued. "Not many can even make that spell work, much less work as - violently - as you made it work. You're beginning to get your adult powers. As you probably know, powers increase through childhood, much like the way a child grows taller.

"I'm certain you've noticed a bit of an, ah, increase, haven't you?" Dumbledore asked.

"Erm, yes, sir," Harry said tentatively. "Did you know... it was happening?"

"Yes," he replied. "I've watched your powers grow this past year, and they have become exceptionally strong. You may wonder why we haven't discussed it before now. I've tried to give you space to explore them; power is not something that can be easily explained. It is something that has to be ultimately discovered - and mastered - by oneself.

"For you, Harry, self control is the most critical thing you will learn here at Hogwarts. You needed to learn to control your power not because I, or anyone else, tells you it's important, but because you know it's important. The lessons we learn on our own are the strongest and most lasting.

"However, I had frankly hoped that you would be more in control of your emotions," Dumbledore said remorsefully.

Harry had a thought. "Is that why you gave me the Pensieve?"

Dumbledore smiled. "Yes. I hoped that you would use it to come to better terms with your life."

"It helped a lot, Professor. I know you can't tell by what happened today," he said bitterly. "I am so sorry. I don't know how it got away from me. Just - everything - seemed to come to a head today." Harry paused. "Er, sir, am I to be expelled?" he said fearfully.

Dumbledore leaned back in his chair. "Well, Harry, do you think you deserve to be expelled?"

Harry's shame seemed to force an answer out of him. "Yes," he said quietly.

Dumbledore nodded. "I am happy you are willing to take responsibility for this action. Fortunately, you didn't seriously injure Mr. Malfoy. I don't want to minimize the seriousness of the charge, but I believe that expulsion is not warranted in this case."

Harry felt some slight relief at this.

"Shall we say two weeks detention with Professor McGonagall? I am certain she will think of a suitable punishment," Dumbledore said. Harry nodded.

"The next part of your punishment is perhaps even worse than expulsion." Dumbledore's eyes twinkled. "I think a sincere, formal apology to Mr. Malfoy is in order. I think you can take care of that business by yourself, can't you?"

Harry felt a sense of dread. "Yes, sir."

"I know that you will do an admirable job of it," Dumbledore said, amused.

Dumbledore's expression grew grave once again. "One last thing. And because of the nature of this, I will make it optional. But I ask you to strongly consider my - request for this because I feel it's important that you see it."

Harry felt curiosity and anxiety fill him.

"I would like you to review your actions that just transpired in the Pensieve," Dumbledore said solemnly.

Harry closed his eyes. The last thing he ever wanted to see again was what had just happened. He wanted to shake his head and decline, but then a sense of responsibility came over him. He did it. He should pay whatever penance was appropriate. He opened his eyes and silently nodded.

Dumbledore rose from his chair and retrieved Harry's Pensieve from his library. He placed it in front of him, and then left the room, leaving Harry by himself.

Harry stared at the Pensieve, just sitting with it for several minutes. He seemed unable to make himself move. Finally, he drew his wand and pulled the memory from his head into the basin. He touched his wand to the memory, watching it swirl around, forming the window. He took a deep breath as his heart started pounding in his chest. He entered the memory.

He watched the scene, seeing the petulant anger on his face as he stomped into the hall. Had he really been that angry over things? His dream, his foot? Malfoy's insults were annoying, but Malfoy had fought with words, not a wand. It was Harry that had drawn the wand.

He saw himself rise after Malfoy's final insult, a look of insanity in his eyes. A chill ran down his spine as he watched himself force Malfoy down. He felt sick to his stomach at the display of power and control that he had exercised, the same display that Voldemort had done to him. He looked at Ron and Hermione. Both had fear in their eyes, as Hermione started crying. Harry couldn't take any more. He turned away, closing his eyes as tears began to burn them.

He heard his wand drop to the floor, and he knew that he was seeing Ginny's fear. He knew he couldn't bear to see that again.

He kept his eyes closed until he felt himself flipping back out of the Pensieve. He sat in the chair in front of Dumbledore's desk, his eyes wet with tears. A few minutes later Dumbledore came up behind him. He put his hand on his shoulder and squeezed it. He moved around his desk and sat down again.

"I can't believe I really did that," Harry said emotionally. "I am so sorry, Professor."

"The fact that you feel this much pain over the incident says a lot about your character. I am pleased that you chose to face it," Dumbledore said.

Dumbledore paused, his face showing an odd, uncharacteristic apprehension. "Harry, I am not proud of this, but I had a similar incident in my youth."

Harry was shocked. "You, sir?"

"Yes. I was about your age, in fact. A long, long time ago." Dumbledore seemed to look far away for a moment. "Here at Hogwarts. A student named Cyrus Duntleworth. He was similar, er, in nature to young Mr. Malfoy. He was a Slytherin and loved to stir the pot at the Gryffindor table."

Dumbledore sighed. "One day, he was making some trivial insult. I don't even remember what it was or who it was against. One of my friends, I'm certain. But he caught me at the wrong time, and I hit him with a very powerful, and very dangerous, spell. It doesn't matter what it was, but it put him in the infirmary for several days. I was this," Dumbledore held up his thumb and finger close together, "close to expulsion. Fortunately, I wasn't expelled. I was very grateful to the Headmaster.

"But Harry, although in the end nothing was permanently damaged, I still feel the shame to this day. What I want you to understand is that this happens to wizards. Great power brings with it great temptation to use it."

Ragnok's words at Gringotts suddenly came back to Harry.

Dumbledore continued. "That is one reason why we have so many strict laws about magical use around Muggles. It's not just to hide our presence, although that's the major reason. It's also for the Muggle's protection. You don't have to be a powerful wizard to cause great torment in the Muggle world," he explained.

"Every strong wizard must eventually deal with the lure of power, Harry. This is only one incident along a very long road of temptation. Learn from it, but also forgive yourself. You're not the first one, nor will you be the last."

Dumbledore rose, and Harry took that as a signal that their business was done. "Thank you, sir - for everything," Harry said contritely.

"You're welcome, Harry." Dumbledore gave him a gentle smile as Harry exited.

Harry left his office and broke out into the corridor. He started wandering toward Gryffindor Tower, hoping to find Ron and Hermione. He noticed the students he saw on the way were avoiding looking at him. He sighed. He was certain there would be a lot of that over the next few days.

He came up to the portrait hole. The Fat Lady gave him a dirty look, causing him to feel guilty over slamming it earlier.

"Er, I'm sorry I closed you so hard earlier. It's been a rough day," The Fat Lady appeared slightly mollified. "Oh, and the password is 'lion's paw.' " She swung the door open in a petulant manner. Apparently she was still miffed at him.

Harry climbed through the hole and scanned the room, looking for Ron and Hermione, whom he saw at a table in the corner. He hesitated slightly, wondering how they felt about what happened this morning. The other Gryffindors glanced up at him, then quickly looked away as he made his way over, badly needing to talk to them. He pulled up a chair with his back to everyone so he wouldn't have to see all the looks.

"Are you all right, Harry?" Hermione said concerned.

"What did Dumbledore say?" asked Ron.

"First, I want to apologize to both of you. I'm sorry for losing control like that," he said remorsefully.

"That's all right, Harry. We know that wasn't really you. You know that, don't you? You know that we're still behind you?" said Hermione intently.

Harry felt a surge a gratitude. He felt like he didn't deserve friends like this. "Thanks. That really means a lot," he said.

"No problem, mate. Malfoy's enough to make anyone lose control," Ron said darkly.

Harry sighed. "Yeah, but no one deserved that."

"So what did Dumbledore say? You're not expelled, are you?" Ron said, worried.

"No, I'm okay. Two weeks detention from McGonagall. Oh, and I have to apologize to Malfoy."

Ron made a disgusted face. "I'd take four weeks over apologizing to that git."

"It's fine. I deserve it. I hate to admit it, but Malfoy deserves an apology," said Harry.

Harry paused. "Um, did you, erm, see what happened to Ginny?" he asked, looking away.

Ron and Hermione glanced at each other. Hermione spoke carefully. "Well, we haven't seen her since - this morning. Harry, truthfully, she looked very upset."

"Wonderful," said Harry, rubbing his head. "Well, I guess I might as well get Malfoy's apology out of the way."

"Good luck, mate," said Ron sympathetically.

Harry got up and moved to the portrait hole. Harry opened and closed the picture extra gently, and the Fat Lady gave him a smiling expression of approval. Well, at least someone's forgiven me, he thought morosely.

He headed down to the Slytherin dungeons, dreading seeing Malfoy and delivering the apology. He saw a group of Slytherins loitering in the corridor, just outside their door. They abruptly stopped talking when he walked up, causing Harry to suspect that they had been talking about him, as they gave him a wary look.

"Have any of you lot seen Malfoy?" Harry asked guardedly.

They looked suspiciously at him. One of them spoke up. "Going to finish the job, Potter?"

"Just tell me where he is, will you?" he said, irritated.

"He's in the common room," the Slytherin said.

"Would you ask him to come out? I want to talk to him," Harry said.

"Why?" another Slytherin asked distrustfully.

"None of your business. I just want to talk to him," Harry said.

They appeared as if they wanted to be obstinate, but finally one of them went into the Slytherin common room to fetch Malfoy. Harry waited a few minutes and finally Malfoy came out.

"Well, well, well. The great Harry Potter deigns to visit the Slytherin Dungeons. What is it, Potter? Did you need me to grovel before you this time?" he drawled sarcastically.

Apparently his mouth wasn't affected by this morning, Harry thought, annoyed. Determined to get it over as soon as possible, Harry ignored his bating. "Look, Malfoy, just come with me, all right? I want to talk to you alone." The other Slytherins had been listening carefully and narrowed their eyes at this.

"Don't want any witnesses this time, Potter?" Malfoy said.

Harry gritted his teeth. "Just come, all right? I'm not going to hurt you."

Malfoy seemed to see this as a challenge to his courage as he pushed past Harry. "As if I'm afraid of the likes of you, Potter. Come on, then. I suppose I can spare you a few moments of my valuable time. I expect you to remember this favor in the future."

Harry's irritation was growing, but was determined not to let Malfoy get to him. He felt he probably deserved to let Malfoy have some free shots.

They walked away from the Slytherin corridor and moved to a neutral area without any students. "Well, Potter? Let me guess. You want me to ask my father about joining the Dark Lord's inner circle. Your audition this morning was very effective, I must say," he said cuttingly.

Harry held his tongue with great effort.

"All right, Potter. I'm busy. Get to the point," Malfoy said arrogantly.

"Fine, Malfoy. I just want to - apologize. That's it. I shouldn't have lost control like that, no matter what." Harry said, trying with difficulty for sincerity.

Malfoy raised his eyebrows, surprised. "An apology, Potter? How - Gryffindor of you," he said mockingly. "But seeing as I'm the injured party, don't you think a more, well, Slytherin manner of atonement is appropriate?" Malfoy had a large grin on his face.

Harry's eyes narrowed at him. "What d'you mean, Slytherin manner of atonement?"

"Why Potter, you really don't understand us, do you? Come on, think harder."

Harry suddenly saw what he was driving at. "All right, Malfoy, I get it. What exactly do you want?"

Malfoy grinned even wider. "Well, let's see. Something that, shall we say, evens the humiliation score. How about this, Potter. I think I would like you to polish and tune my broomstick. In the Great Hall. During breakfast. At the Slytherin table. You do that and all is forgiven." He laughed loudly at Harry.

Harry ran his hands through his hair. Why couldn't he just ask for a slug-eating hex? But he knew that he deserved at least this much. It did do something to even the score. And there was a positive aspect to it - it would be a public apology and everyone would know that he took it seriously that he regretted his actions. It was worth it just for that.

"All right, Malfoy. Agreed. Bring your broom tomorrow morning," Harry said resignedly.

Malfoy gave another hearty laugh. "Brilliant! I love you Gryffindors. You'll do anything to preserve your precious honor."

Harry didn't want to take any chances on saying anything he might regret, so he thought he better get away. "Whatever you say, Malfoy. I'll bring my cleaning kit tomorrow." Harry started walking away.

Malfoy called after him. "Just make certain you use quality polish, Potter. None of that rubbish that Weasley probably uses."

Harry sighed. The worst part of it was done. He suddenly realized he had a class soon, and ran to get his books. He met Ron and Hermione going into advanced Charms class.

"Did you do it?" Hermione asked.

"Yeah. It went about the way you would expect, except Malfoy asked me for a 'favor' to make up for it," said Harry.

"A favor?" Ron asked suspiciously.

"Yes, but I actually don't mind. He wants me to polish his broomstick at breakfast tomorrow," said Harry. "and I have to sit at the Slytherin table."

"That git," Ron said disgustedly. "It figures he would ask for something like that."

"Well, this will show everyone that I'm really sorry about it happening. I'd rather polish his broom than walk around having everyone afraid that I'm going to explode at any second. And really, I'm glad he asked for something. I don't want to owe him anything," Harry said.

Harry spent the rest of the day trying to get through his classes and endure the various looks from his classmates. Most appeared to want to avoid him, but he couldn't help but notice that many gave him surreptitious looks of approval. Somehow the approval disturbed him more than those who shunned him.

He also saw McGonagall, who sternly told him to report to her office that evening after dinner. The expression on her face told him that it was going to be a long two weeks.

After what seemed like an eternity, he finally exited his last class in the mid afternoon. He had been thinking all day about trying to track down Ginny, to explain his behavior in some way. He wasn't certain what was going through her mind, but he had to try.

He walked in through the portrait hole (the Fat Lady appeared to be completely back to normal, to his relief). He asked a few people, who gave him wary looks, but no one had seen her. Finally he saw Colin.

"Colin, have you seen Ginny?" Harry asked.

"Um..." He appeared reluctant to talk to Harry.

"Come on, Colin, have you seen her or not?" said Harry, a bit irritated. Colin had never been one of his favorite people.

"Well, I thought I saw her heading around the lake after her last class, not too long ago," he said, a bit distrustfully.

"Thanks," Harry ran upstairs to get a cloak. The weather was clear, but it was quite chilly outside.

He was heading down a corridor toward the front of the castle when he saw Parvati. She saw him, and her expression immediately grew guarded. Harry thought he better stop and talk to her as well. In fact, now that he thought about, Parvati had seemed down for the past few days. He hadn't thought much about it...

"Hi, Parvati," he said, a bit nervously.

"Hello, Harry. I've been looking for you. It wasn't easy to talk to you in class, and you were running in and out in a hurry." She gave a ghost of a smile. "I wanted to make certain you were all right." She appeared rather sad at this speech.

"Look, Parvati. I'm really, really sorry about what happened. It shouldn't have happened. I hope I didn't frighten you or anything."

"Oh no, I know that Malfoy can get under anyone's skin. I'm surprised it hadn't happened before now. I hope you didn't get in too much trouble." She still seemed gloomy about something.

"I'll be all right." Harry paused, wondering why she appeared so down. She didn't seem all that concerned about the events of the morning. "Parvati, is something else, er, wrong?"

"Oh, Harry, I shouldn't talk to you about this now. You've already had such a dreadful day," she said.

Harry sighed. What else was going to happen today? "It's all right. Go ahead."

Parvati glanced around. Seeing no one else was listening, she said, "Harry..." she gave a long pause, and took a deep breath. "We went to the Ball together, and you've barely spoken to me since then. I just - need to know. How do you feel about me?" she looked down and away nervously.

Harry's brain locked up. She had asked such a broad question... how could he answer it about anybody?

"I... just... don't know," he said finally.

"I guess it's pretty obvious how I feel about you," she laughed, a little bitterly. "I suppose I should take a hint, right? Harry, sometimes it seems like you tolerate me, but don't really... like me."

Harry felt shameful. It was certainly true that he had taken her to the Ball after Ginny's rejection more out of the fact that she was pretty, and that she seemed to want to, rather than any real feelings on his part. And if he were really honest with himself, he had only asked her because he knew she wouldn't turn him down.

"I'm sorry... I guess it's hard for me to talk about - this sort of thing," Harry said awkwardly. "Parvati - I do like you... I have fun with you... I think you're very pretty..."

"But..." said Parvati, her eyes downcast.

"I guess... I just... don't... feel that way about you," Harry said. He just wanted to pry up one of the stones in the floor and crawl underneath.

She nodded sadly, as tears came to her eyes. "I guess I already knew that. Thank you for being honest with me. I suppose I should also thank you for giving me a chance, even if it didn't work out." She swiped at her eyes. "Look at me. I promised myself I wouldn't cry. You've had enough of that before." She chuckled.

She looked him in the eye. "Harry, for what it's worth, I think you are a wonderful man. Not because you're famous, but because of who you are. You will defeat You-Know-Who. I know you will."

She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. "Good luck, Harry." She smiled at him. "I saw Ginny walking toward the lake."

Harry gave a start. "Er, how did you know I was...?"

"I'm not blind, Harry. I like Ginny. I'm glad you have someone that you care about." She started walking away, her head held high, a proud Gryffindor.

* * *

Harry exited the castle through the front doors, feeling a crisp chill on his face. He looked across the lake, and thought he saw someone that might be Ginny walking along the edge.

He started jogging, trying to catch up with her. It felt good to be outdoors, releasing some of the pent-up energy that all of the events of the day had filled him with. He saw a flash of red hair up ahead, as he closed the distance.

"Ginny!" he called out. She stopped and turned around, waiting for him to catch up.

"Hello, Harry," she said quietly, her face guarded.

Harry had felt he had a lot of things he wanted to say to her, but they all seemed to have left his head now that he was with her.

"Hi, Ginny. Erm, can I walk with you?" he said, trying to buy time.

"All right." She started walking again. Harry moved alongside of her, a bit out of breath.

They walked in a tense silence. Harry's mind was racing as he tried to figure out the best way to talk to her. The fearful look she had on her face came back to him, which seemed to make it incredibly difficult to say anything.

"I am so sorry, Ginny, about this morning. I just - lost control. I don't know what's wrong with me."

Ginny nodded, her expression still guarded. "It's all right, Harry. What did Dumbledore say?"

"He gave me two weeks detention. And I had to apologize to Malfoy. I did that already, at least. It wasn't easy," he said.

"I'm certain it wasn't," she said, a bit vaguely.

A long pause ensued between them. The silence was killing Harry. "Ginny, I feel like I'm apologizing all the time lately. But - I - I ..." he couldn't find the words.

"What, Harry?" she said distantly.

"I, er, miss you," he said, awkwardly, avoiding her eyes. Ginny turned toward him. "And - and - this morning, you looked - frightened of me. I am so sorry. You know I would never hurt you - don't you?"

"Yes, Harry, I know," she said quietly. "But - this is complicated to explain. I don't know if I can. But I probably should try. Shall we stop for a minute?"

Harry nodded, and they found a dry rock next to the lake. They sat down and gazed over the lake as a silence descended upon them. Harry glanced nervously toward Ginny, but she seemed to be gathering her thoughts.

"Harry, you did frighten me this morning," she started, still looking toward the lake. Harry felt stricken by her admission.

"But it's more than that. I wasn't frightened of you, so much. I know that you wouldn't hurt anyone intentionally. That's not in you. You made a mistake," she said.

She made another long pause, and finally she turned toward him. Her eyes were filled with fear, and a tear was falling down her face. "Harry, when you were holding Malfoy - the look on your face - you... I don't know how to say this. You looked like - Tom Riddle."

The whole world crashed around Harry as her words struck him. He hadn't thought he could possibly feel worse about what happened that morning, but he felt a horrible twisting in his stomach, and his head swam with dizziness. His face that he saw in the Pensieve that morning came to his mind, as well as horrible memories of his second year facing Tom Riddle. And somehow the two images came together, and he found he couldn't deny the similar look. The pleasure of controlling another person.

He felt tears burning his eyes, and he buried his face in his hands. "Ginny, I am so sorry. I swear I'll never be like him."

He felt Ginny put her arm across his back, and leaned her head on her arm. "I know, Harry. I know that wasn't you. Don't worry, it's all right," she said soothingly.

Still gazing down, he said, "Ginny - I was so - afraid that I'd ruined everything with you. I - I don't know what I'm feeling. But I know I don't want to lose you as a friend."

He could feel her nod, still resting on his back. "It's all right, Harry. Everything is fine," she said quietly. "It's myself I'm more concerned with."

Harry looked up. "What do you mean? Are you all right?"

Ginny lifted herself off his back, looking unsteady. "I - I don't know. Until today, I felt like I was over Tom. Like I had resolved that business. But today - it all came flooding back. All the fear," she said.

"It was a horrible experience! You can't expect to be completely done with it," said Harry.

"I know. But - I was thinking about something while I was walking. Something - you can help me with, if you would," she said, looking very shy.

"Anything! What do you want me to do?" Harry said, glad of a subject that involved doing something.

She took a deep breath. "Harry, would you... take me down to the Chamber of Secrets again?"

Harry felt stunned at this. "You want to open the Chamber again?"

Ginny nodded. "I just feel like I need to see it again. To see it without Tom."

"All right," he said uncertainly.

Ginny trembled slightly. "And... one more thing. A - harder request. I - I would like to see your memory of - that day - in the Pensieve."

Harry's heart started thumping in his chest. "That's a - bad memory, Ginny. Are you certain you want to see it? I mean, you almost died. And Riddle... he..."

Ginny nodded, more firmly. "Yes. I'm certain. I need to see him die. I mean, I know that he did - but I never saw it. I just saw the diary after I woke up. I need to see that he's gone. I need some... closure."

Ginny looked pleadingly at Harry. "Please, Harry, will you do this - for me?"

Harry nodded. "Of course I will. When do you want to go?"

"Let's go day after tomorrow. Saturday, early in the morning. Does that sound all right?"

"Okay," Harry said. There was a long pause as they both looked out over the lake and let all the serious thoughts sink in.

"Shall we start back?" Harry asked.

Ginny smiled, her first smile that he had seen. "Yes. Harry, and - thank you," she said sincerely.

Harry looked away, not feeling worthy of any thanks. They both stood up from the rock and began walking.

After some time, Harry had a thought... he glanced over at Ginny, his stomach churning with nervousness. He wasn't certain he should do it... was she still angry with him? But a powerful need filled him...

Feeling reckless and before he could change his mind, he reached over and lightly took Ginny's hand, without looking at her.

He could sense her head turning in surprise. He burned with embarrassment and felt sick with fear that she would pull her hand back. Harry felt a profound relief as she gripped his hand back strongly, her firm grip giving him some badly needed strength, and together, they walked back to the castle.


Author notes: Thanks ad infinitum to my beta readers Allie Kiwi and DM. Please review!

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