About Inconsistencies

1979, Ansty Coombe, Wiltshire

She'd gone deaf. Unexpectedly, after the screams and yelling had been drowned out, the silence was torture.

James... where was James?

Her vision glazed over and the pounding in her head increased. She fought it. If she didn't overcome it she was as good as dead. Her grasp around her wand tightened. This was bigger than her but she would be damned before she let it defeat her. She hadn't waited three years to be beaten without putting up a fight. She bit her lip until she felt warm liquid seeping into her mouth. She forced her eyes open. The man lying in front of her, his mask hanging off his face, was clearly dead. Her first kill. And she hadn't even meant it.

Her stomach revolted and she threw up. Some part of her knew it was pathetic, another part of her screamed to keep her wand poised. She felt sick.

She spied Remus from the corner of her eyes, locked in a duel with Rabastan Lestrange. The werewolf's eyes were underlined with dark circles and from the strained expression on his face she deduced he was under the effect of the Cruciatus Curse. She had seen that look enough times to know. But he was fighting anyway. His lips moved, and his wrist flicked and Lestrange was thrown backwards.

Suddenly sound returned, sharper and louder than before.

Curses rang though the air. Agonized cries reverberated in every corner of what had been a quiet Muggle neighborhood. The mass of bodies, dead and standing, became life size, and reality, bruised and bleak as it was, erupted around her.

Someone pushed into her. Lily turned, her wand poised.

"Expelliarmus!" she cried and Sirius Black's eyes widened as his wand flew out of his hands.

The next minute he was on the ground, clutching his stomach.

Lily, surprised, cast a Hervec Hex at his assailant.

As the masked Death Eater floundered Sirius threw Lily a weak grin. "Sometimes you scare me Evans."

She handed the wizard his wand. "Where's James, Sirius?"

He was already on his feet and threw a curse at someone behind Lily. "I don't know," he said. "I lost him when the other group of Death Eaters arrived."

She opened her mouth to ask when that had been before she was hit. She felt pain course through her. Her arm was on fire. Turning, she yelled out another curse but missed. Her attacker, silver hair framing his face, shouted "Crucio!"

Through the pounding in her ears she heard a familiar voice snarl, "Die, Mudblood filth."

A green light flashed over her head as Sirius knocked her to the ground.

The breath knocked out of her, she remained there.

Sirius got to his feet. "Malfoy," he said, almost cordially.

"The traitor." Lucius Malfoy's mouth twisted into a smile. "I know Bellatrix wanted the pleasure, but I think I'll kill you myself."

Lily stood up in time to see Malfoy throw his first curse. She raised her wand.

"No," Sirius said, panting. "Find James. I'll take care of this myself."

The witch knew better than to argue. Where was James? The ready, cruel answer was apparent but she ignored it. Where was Moody with the reinforcements?

She turned away from the two wizards and began running over the piles of bodies in the dirt. She saw Emmeline Vance, once the Princess of Hogwarts, discard all dignity and claw at a Death Eater with her fingers. Spying her friend's wand yards away from her feet she grabbed it and attempted to maneuver her way to return it to the witch. Before she could she was knocked off her feet.

Yelling "Expelliarmus," she turned to look into Sirius Black's face again. Except this time it was narrower, weaker; except the skin was sallow and the eyes scared; except the lips were thinner and curled into a sneer; except that it wasn't Sirius Black at all.

"Regulus," she said in disgust.

He glared at her.

Looking at his wand in her hand, she pocketed it. "Get out of here."

"Fight me, Evans!"

"I'm not going to waste my time on you Regulus." She regarded him with something akin to pity. "Run home before someone decides that you're a liability."

Uncertainty crossed his face, but it settled into a sneer. "I'm a pureblood, Evans. Head Girl or no, I don't need my wand for the likes of you."

Lily felt irritation sweep through her. She needed to help Emmeline and then she needed to find James. And Regulus Black was too old for a nanny.

"You're a waste of space Black. Get out of my way."

"Muggleborn bitch," he screamed and made to tackle her.

She Petrified him before he could touch her and, shaking her head, turned back to her previous task. Her eyes found Emmeline just as the witch crumpled to the ground.

She froze for a minute, cold dread sinking into her stomach. For a moment she was afraid that panic would swallow her whole. First thought disappeared: then she acted.

She pelted towards the fallen witch just as Caradoc Dearborn cursed the Death Eater who had hurt her. Reaching Emmeline she checked her thin wrists for a pulse, and, finding one, sighed with relief.

Lily looked around her. There were duels taking place all around them. She couldn't leave Emmeline here... could she? She herself had to join the fray (there were too few of them as it was) and she couldn't waste energy on a healing charm that would result in two weakened witches rather than a single strong one. Realizing that the injured witch's best defense at the moment was pretending death Lily stood up and cast a Chameleonic Charm on her friend so any Death Eater would ignore her.

As she looked around for Caradoc she saw him being launched into the air by four wizards. Feeling anger replace her worry she rushed at them.

In seconds she was lost in the skirmish, casting hexes in every direction. She ignored the flutter in her stomach as she recognized her year-mate Rosier as her adversary, and knocked him to the ground. She Petrified him when he attempted to stand and whipped herself backwards to avoid the curse sent her way. As she faced the next wizard her hands and lips moved of their own accord. Curses that she had only seen in textbooks before now found themselves tumbling out of her mouth. Every DADA class she had ever taken at Hogwarts, and every Auror lesson Moody had drilled into them was at her disposal. It was exhilarating and she almost fell joyful at every perfect wrist flick and the rounded, metallic syllables. Later, she would recall this moment and be sickened by it. She felt invincible as one after another wizard fell before her. Caradoc stood at her side, yelling himself hoarse.

The minute all four of them had been rendered unconscious Caradoc turned to her. "Emmeline?" he asked urgently.

"Not dead but she's down for the count."

He nodded. Then was distracted by a yell.

As he ran off to help Remus Lily scanned the crowd for a shock of black hair. She saw many familiar faces in the tussle, some her friends, some who use to be, but no James.

James...

Seconds later she was once again defending herself against a string of curses.

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It seemed as if hours had passed; they probably had. Lily was exhausted. She hadn't found James.

There was blood on her robes but she didn't know whether it was her own. There were a lot more people on the ground. She wondered how many were dead. She wondered how many were the enemy. She wondered how many were innocent Muggles. She wondered if one them was a friend, a colleague, someone she had grown up with. She wondered if one of them was James.

"We're done Lily. We have to retreat." Sirius said hoarsely, coming up behind her.

"No," she gasped out, her wand still pointed at the Death Eater she had hexed.

"Moody's team has gotten all the Muggles out. We've got the injured at St. Mungo's. You're exhausted, we're all exhausted; we can't do anymore."

"James?" she asked.

Sirius ran his hand through his hair. He looked at her, anguish clear in his eyes.

She turned away resolutely, "No."

"Chances are he's at St. Mungo's."

"I'm not leaving without him."

"If he's here he's dead."

Lily cringed. She knew what it had cost him to say that.

She was about to reply when the cracks of people Apparating filled the air.

The cavalry had arrived.

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When Remus opened his eyes he was staring into Peter's face. "Wormtail?"

His longtime friend smiled reassuringly back at him.

His head was hurting and there was a tightness in his chest. His leg was in agonizing pain. He could no longer hear the fighting going on around him. As he struggled to sit up he recalled that Peter was on a different shift.

"Podmore's team is here. We've won this one. You're to head beck to Headquarters."

Remus eyed the Death Eater mask in his friend's hand.

Peter followed his gaze. He dropped it like it burned him. "Grabbed it of off one their faces."

The werewolf nodded. He glanced around him. Arnold Slinkhard's lifeless eyes stared up at him. He looked away.

It looked as if the Death Eaters had retreated after the reinforcements had arrived.

"The others?"

"Sirius broke his arm. Lily's a bit bruised but she's okay. James- "

"James?" Remus said sharply.

Peter sighed. "He battled with You-Know-Who. He's alive but just barely. They've taken him to St. Mungo's."

.

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.

Sirius was collapsed on a chair outside James's door. Inside he could hear Lily cooing over him.

Sirius grinned. After seeing James sit up as soon as Lily entered the room and threw her arms around him he was no longer worried about his best friend.

James had told him, once in third year, that if he had Lily at his side he could overcome anything. Sirius had, of course, rolled his eyes. In those days the chances of James having Lily at his side were about the same as Sirius's mother baking him a cake for his birthday.

He would have gone in if he hadn't been sure that James would hex him for interrupting them.

"How is he?"

Sirius glanced up to see Mad-eye Moody. "Better."

Moody shook his head. "It's good thing Evans wasn't there when we found him. By all rights he should be dead."

Sirius grinned proudly. "Prongs was always thick-skulled enough to get out of anything alive."

Moody looked at him thoughtfully. "We were very near Stonehenge."

Sirius felt his smile fade. "What is it do you think he was after?"

"Dumbledore reckons it was supposed to be a meeting to form an alliance with the Stonehenge fairies. Then the Death Eaters got distracted by the ickle, innocent Muggles."

Sirius frowned. "Fairies are reclusive, the ones from Stonehenge especially. They don't talk to wizard-kind anymore."

Moody shrugged. "Times are changing. Everyone has to take a side."

"But- why talk to him?"

"Why wouldn't they? The Giants are on his side. The werewolves are leaning towards him. He's offering equality. Wizard-kind has done nothing but suppress the minority."

"But we're the ones for equality," Sirius insisted. "He's the one who's killing off the muggleborns."

"That doesn't make a difference to them. It's a small sacrifice for the power he's offering."

"The power they believe he's offering," Sirius muttered darkly.

"Nonetheless. And we have nothing to retaliate with. Crouch is so fixated on conquering by force he's not covering all his fronts."

"He's a git and then some. We know what he needs to win this war though."

"What's that?"

Sirius grinned. "Constant vigilance!"

Moody barked a laugh. "We need more people like you on our side Black."

"I'm glad someone's been able to keep their sense of humor," Lily said, shutting James door behind her and smiling at Sirius fondly. "How's your arm?"

Sirius waved around the limb in question. "Good as new."

"How's Potter?" Moody asked her.

"Sleeping. He's tired." She put her hand on Sirius's shoulder and leaned against the wall. "How's Emmeline?"

"As well as can be expected. Glad to have her wand back."

"And Remus?"

"His leg was broken in two places, but nothing that can't be fixed."

"That's good."

Sirius looked up at her and frowned. "You're tired. You should go home."

"I can't leave him."

"I'll be here."

"But what if he asks for me?"

"The lad's right. You're exhausted Evans. Dearborn told me what you've been doing- trying to take on four by yourself. It astounds me how arrogant you children can get these days." Moody's face softened, "Get home, Lily. That's an order."

"I'll call you when he wakes up," Sirius added, seeing her about to protest again.

She sighed and reached into her pocket for her wand. Her hand brushed against another object.

"Sirius," she said, turning to him. She held out his brother's wand. "Regulus- dropped this."

Sirius's face darkened. He took the offered wand and stared at it hard. He hadn't seen his brother there. So he'd been fool enough to join Voldemort's army. He was surprised that Mother had thought the eighteen year old was strong enough for it. More likely it had been an attempt to redeem the family name- after what Sirius has done to it.

Lily saw the look in his eyes. "I'm sorry," she said.

He put his brother's wand away. "S'not your fault, is it now? Get on with you."

She smiled and Apparated to the apartment she shared with Marlene.

Moody eyed where she'd been standing speculatively. "Maybe we should have told her."

Sirius shook his head. "She'll find out soon enough. She deserves one night of rest."

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The funeral was held a week later.

It was such a pretty day. The sky was cloudless and everything was green. It was such a very pretty day.

All the Order members had gathered for it, all the Aurors were present and people who had known him in school and hadn't spoken to him for years had come. Bartemius Crouch had had his secretary fit it into his schedule; his wife had worn her best robe for the occasion.

Lily saw Dorcas Meadowes lurking in a corner, and Professors McGonagall and Flitwick were dabbing their eyes. Even Madame Pince had dragged herself out of the library to attend. Lily supposed if she looked hard enough she'd find Filch in the crowd, and maybe a ghost or two expressing their grief.

Everyone had loved him. How could they not?

Her fiancée's hand was her only comfort and she held on to it for dear life. They stood in a row- her and James, Sirius, Remus, Peter, Marlene, Elaine. Alice was the only Gryffindor who'd been in their year at Hogwarts who wasn't standing with them.

Lily's heart was breaking at the look on her face. Her best friend had silent tears coursing down her cheeks; she was oblivious to everyone else in the cemetery. Frank Longbottom's expression mirrored her feelings, as he held his wife in his arms.

"We will remember him." Dumbledore's voice echoed over the stifled sobs. "We will remember him for his bravery and his intelligence and his aptitude. We will remember him for his greatness, which was considerable. We will remember him for his kindness and his understanding that there are things more important than himself. We will remember him for his determination. We will remember him for how he died- fighting until his last breath: a hero's death."

The silence was overbearing.

Gideon Prewett shook Dumbledore's hand as the Headmaster stepped off the podium.

Lily wanted to go to him, hug him, tell him he wasn't alone. But that would mean leaving James's hand and she lacked the strength for that.

As Fabian Prewett's family and friends followed Dumbledore, Gideon remained standing by his brother's grave. People went up to him and offered their condolences. He smiled at them but it didn't reach his eyes.

Lily noticed how lost he looked. In all the years she'd known Gideon he'd been the golden boy. The Ravenclaw with the perfect face and the perfect grades. The Head Boy and Quidditch Team Captain. The first to join the Order. Now he looked like a little boy. As a Prefect under his jurisdiction she had always admired him. Before James, she had even harbored a school-girl crush on the older boy.

She couldn't even bring herself to say how sorry she was for his loss.

Sirius went up to him, and Remus and Peter. Marlene hugged him and Elaine kissed his cheek. Lily remained stationary and James looked down at her, concerned, but said nothing.

Then Alice, with a strangled sob, detached herself from Frank and hugged Gideon. Now she was the one giving comfort, and Gideon's face crumpled into the tears he'd held back.

His tears broke her trance. Lily reached out with her free hand and touched Frank's shoulder. The Auror turned to her with understanding on his face. He knew what Fabian Prewett had once been to his wife. Lily attempted a smile for him. Alice was a lucky woman. To be loved first by Fabian and now Frank: a very lucky woman indeed.

Then Lily smiled at James. He saw the tears starting to spill out from the corner of her eyes. He understood she didn't want to interrupt her friends' grief. He put his arm around her shoulders and led her away, leaving Alice and Gideon and Frank.

They had only just gotten out of earshot when the first sob exploded.

He'd been one her best friends.

"Congratulations on making Head Girl Lily- I knew you'd beat that Goshawk cow."

"Do you think she'll go out with me?"

"Lily my love, if Potter starts to annoy you then just tell me and I'll hex his sad arse across the Atlantic."

"I'm desperate Lils. I don't want to lose her."

"I know it's awkward now, but we'll always be friends Lily."

"Don't worry. Potter's got a hard head. He'll be alright."

"You're like my sister. No matter how things turn out with Alice, I'll always be there for you."

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