Hidden Wish

- Harry Potter's thoughts
-Order of The Phoenix


* * * * *

    The stars went out. It was pitch black, darkness pressing in all around him.Cold, quiet, and thick, like a veil he couldn't push through. He started to shiver, goosebumps prickling his skin, and the freezing air burning his throat. He couldn't see a thing.

    Where had Harry gone? Why did these things always happen to him? First the tail, then the toffee, and now this. Would all these horrors never end? And why did he feel so odd inside? Almost...miserable?

    That's when it happened. There was something there, something that wasn't him or Harry...and it was breathing! It drew a long rattling breath.

    Dread overcame him. The fear flowed unconquered through him. Uncontrollable, with a will of it's own. He knew what that thing was. Pure, undiluted evil. He could hear it pounding in his ears, smell it in the cold air, and taste it in the darkness. He had to stop it. He had to stop the memory knawing at his stomache, trying relentlessly to escape and plague him again. But how to stop it? Then it came to him. Harry.

    He swung wildly and his fist came in contact with the side of Harry's head. He heard harry hit the ground and drop his wand.

    "You moron, Dudley!"

    The feeling didn't stop. Throwing all common sense aside, Dudley ran.

    "DUDLEY, COME BACK! YOU'RE RUNNING RIGHT AT IT!"

    Dudley hit the alley fence and stumbled. Lying in a heap, he remembered...

* * * * *

    Dudley Dursley had always felt that there was something else out there. Something other than his ordinary life, with his ordinary parents, and his stupid cousin. His life had no purpose, no meaning. It was dull. It was boring, and so horribly wrong.

    He'd read books about knights who rode on white horses and saved beautiful princesses from horrible dragons. He'd read of unicorns, faeries, and wizards, of tall towers, horrible dark lords, and immortal brave heroes.

    He wanted adventure. He wanted to be brave, to save people, and be remembered forever. He wanted to ride off into the sunset on a beautiful white horse, with an even more beautiful castle ahead of him.

    And he would. After all, no one could really be that normal. This couldn't really be his life. His time would come. He was certain of it. Until...

    "Harry - yer a wizard."

    "I'm a what?"

    Harry was a wizard? But surely he, Dudley, who had always dreamed of something like this was a wizard too. After all he was way better than Harry. His parents had always said so.

    "Harry Potter not knowin' his own story when every kid in our world knows his name!"

    Misery flooded him. Harry was a wizard, and famous? There was a whold world of magic and he'd always believed in it. So why wasn't he a part of it? He took a deep breath to attempt to stifle the confusion and frustation he could feel storming up inside his chest. There was still hope.

    "There was this wizard who went...bad. As bad as you could go. Worse. Worse than worse."

    So there was a dark lord.

    "His name was...Voldemort."

    Voldemort? What kind of a name was voldemort?

    "No one ever lived after he decided to kill 'em, no one except you."

    Dudley stared down at his hands before clenching them together and pulling them to his heart. Harry lived. What was so special about him? He was just a burden that was dumped on his parents, wasn't he? He wasn't special at all. Certainly not more than Dudley was.

    "Disapeared. Vanished. Same night he tried to kill you."

    Dudley's heart fell into his stomache. He felt a nest of tears hatch behind his eyes. His blood rose and pounded in his head. Harry was a wizard. Harr was famous. Harry killed the evil dark lord no one would speak of. Harry was a hero.

    Dudley's hopes went out like a candle in an airless room. His whole heart felt as if it knives sticking in it. Dark circles swam in front of his eyes. Never before and never again would he feel so low and miserable. He wanted to die. He felt as if his whold world ended right at that moment.

    He never wanted wanted to feel pain like that again. He locked up the memory and prayed it would never come out again.

* * * * *

    "EXPECTO PATRONUM!"

    Dudley Dursley felt the fear in his heart burst up and manifest in the form of tears rolling down his face. He felt the blood in his viens boil up and bubble right over his bones. He forgot to breath. He was saved by a wizard. He was saved by a famous hero. He was saved by his cousin, Harry.

    He remembered his pain.