Hanging By a Moment - Stuck In the Past!

Hanging by a moment - Stuck in the past

Chapter 1: Everybody loves little Lily!

Hermione looked down at the dark-haired two-year-old little girl sitting in front of her with mixed emotions. She looked wonderful playing with her wizard kid toys. Her hair, tousled and curled in a messy but cute way, had a color similar to her own chocolate brown, just a little darker. Her mouth was pressed in concentration,and her forehead wrinkled angrily, as she tried with all her might to perform an easy little spell, but it wouldn't work no matter what she tried. Everyone said she was very similar to herself, especially in her behaviour and her intelligence. She had been able to speak - really speak, not just some words - at barely one and now, a year later, she felt ready for being a witch. Hermione smiled to herself. Yeah, that was exactly how she had been herself, except that she had tried to learn muggle stuff, as she only had found out about being a witch at the age of eleven.

Yes, her daughter was just like herself, her little angel, her little Lillith. She behaved like her and she looked like an almost exact replication of her at the age of two. Almost. She had extraordinary green eyes. Her fathers eyes. Harry. Harry Potter. Hermione swallowed hard at the thought of his name, at the thought of him! Every time she looked in her little daughters eyes, she felt incredible happiness and neverending pain at the same time.

It had started so good! In the end of sixth grade Harry had finally had the guts to ask her out. And she happily became his girl. Ever since fourth grade Hermione had been secretly in love with him, but she never let him know. They became Hogwarts sweetest couple. Loving each other deeply,and not wanting to stay apart any minute, nothing better could happen to Hermione than Harry's proposing right after their graduation ball in seventh grade. He did it in a really cute way. Kneeling in front of his girlfriend and everything. Blushing all over when showing her two beautiful silver engagement rings and sheepishly asking "Will you marry me, Hermione?" She of course had accepted. He was her everything, the one love you only find once in life. They got married and soon after Hermione had been pregnant. My god, they had been happy! Harry and her being parents!

And then it had happened. One incident that destroyed everything. Voldemort had planned a horrible massacre in Muggle London. Of course, Harry had to help. Always being the brave-hearted hero, trying to help everyone. Hermione didn't want him to go. She felt fear, for no obvious reason, as Harry had always defeated Voldemort so far. Harry still went away and he never came back. He saved thousands of lifes, and lost his own. Harry was dead.

Hermione fell hard. Mentally. At some points she was in such a bad constitution that she was afraid to lose the child, few moments later she wished more than anything that she wasn't pregnant at all. The baby was born, a beautiful little girl with her looks and his eyes. She named her Lillith, in memory of Harry's mother. Lillith Potter, her daughter. Yes, after his death she was broken, mentally and physically. But when Lillith had been born she tried to revive. It worked because of her. While Hermione's everything, her reason to live, had been taken away shortly before, Lillith was now there to fill her mother's life completely.

Still, she and herself were carrying his name. Hermione and Lillith Potter. She loved the name just like she had loved him, but every time she had to hear it, speak it, read it, it gave her so much pain. It still did. Two and a half years had passed since her husband's death, she was twenty now, and she still could immediately start to cry when someone talked about him. She didn't want Lillith to grow up with a mother who cringed in pain every time her daughter's full name was said. So, after hesitating for five or six month, she finally decided to do it. She'd change her name back to her maiden name.

A few hours later and Hermione found herself in front of the office buildings of the appropriate department. A huge building in the middle of London, almost looking like a small castle, with many windows and little towers. Of course it was hidden from Muggles; to them it appeared as an old run-down office building from fifty years ago, where noone would ever go into. She grabbed Lily's - that was how she called her - hand, and entered the building, immediately searching for Ms Ophelia Rickwall's office. She had arranged an appointment with her earlier, by owl.

Half an hour later, and asking at least twenty different people, she finally found herself in a packed waiting room, in the woman's office. Another 30 minutes and finally she was called to her desk. "Hermione Potter, please." She cringed, and quickly pulled Lily with her.

"What can I do for you, young lady?" Ophelia Rickwall asked, offering Hermione a warm smile, then looking at Lily in amazement. Lily had her ways to make everyone love her, even strict people in offices. However, Ms Rickwall didn't look like such a typical office person. She had platinum blonde - probably dyed - curled hair, put up into an excellent looking knot at the top of her head. Despite her age - probably good over sixty - she looked very lively and young, not only because of her excessive use of make-up. Hermione looked into her eyes and, finding the older woman staring at her intensely, she realized that she hadn't answered her polite question.

"Uhh I," Hermione begun to stutter and swallowed around the lump in her throat. "I wanted to get back my maiden name, if possible." There, it was out! Wasn't as hard as she had thought before. Ms Rickwall's eyes examined her closely before she replied. "Divorced at such a young age?" Yeah right, divorced. She'd never ever want to get divorced of the one person she loved. Immediately she felt upcoming tears growing in her eyes again, but she didn't under all circumstances want Lily to see her cry, so she decided to quickly tell her the whole story and get home.

"No, not at all. No divorce," Hermione said quietly. "My beloved husband has died a little over two years ago, and I just would feel better having my old name again. Please don't ask why," she added quickly, "I really don't know myself. I just have this feeling."

Ophelia Rickwall's gaze suddenly softened and she spoke with a much nicer voice now. She obviously didn't like people who got divorced. "Oh, I understand now. Harry Potter's widow, aren't you?" Hermione nodded slowly. "Oh, and so this is the little girl of you two?" She glanced down at Lily in awe, and Hermione nodded again. "Beautiful little thing," Rickwall stated,"It's a shame, she grows up without a father." She brought the young mothers thoughts back to something she was thinking about constantly. Lily needed a father. Definitely. But whom? She couldn't imagine loving another man ever again, she didn't even want to get close to any of them. But still, Lily needed a Dad. She had thought about it plenty of times. Ron would have been the best solution, but he was happily married to Lavender now and they had their own little children. She wasn't in contact with any other of her other former school friends,and meeting someone new was simply impossible. Totally out of question. She couldn't open up to a new man.

"- so I take it, you want your daughters name changed to Lillith Granger too? Please sign here Ms Potter, and than we're almost done!" The woman's voice brought Hermione back into reality. She took the quill, shifted a little, and wanted to sign the document, but just then Lily decided to feel uncomfortable and wouldn't keep still. She made it impossible for her mother to sign the stupid little sheet of paper. God! Hermione groaned angrily.

"I could hold her for a minute, so you can sign that thing." A charming voice appeared from behind her, and she suddenly gazed into the eyes of an unfamiliar young man who was helpfully stretching his hands out at her daughter. He was rather tall, had very light blonde hair, gray-blue eyes - almost silver! And his skin was so pale, you could almost see through. He offered her a large smile with a mouth full of perfectly-positioned white teeth. The smile reminded her of something. Or someone. But she couldn't quite put a finger on it.

After all he was offering to help her, so why think about it too much? She gladly handed a squirming Lillith to him, who was obviously quite content with the change. Thank god. Hermione signed the sheet in front of her and a few more, and Ms Rickwall told her she had to come back in a few days to sign the conformation from the ministry. "Would Tuesday, 3 pm, be okay?" asked Hermione impatiently. The woman checked her calendar, and nodded. "Thanks a lot, Miss," Hermione said, smiling a bit and turning around to see her little baby-daughter joyfully playing with the stranger. Seeing her being done with her appointment, he immediately put Lily back into her arms. "Thanks to you too! You helped me a lot there," she said, feeling immediately uncomfortable talking to a handsome man. "Anytime," he just said, and finally Hermione headed back home with her daughter in her arms.

In the evening, when she put her to bed, she noticed a new necklace around Lily's neck. She didn't know Lavender got her another one. Hermione smiled. Everyone loved Lily. She examined it to be a silver necklace with a little figure hanging onto it, a fantasy animal obviously, half snake, half dragon.

"Lily, honey," her mother asked suspiciously, as none of her friends would ever buy a snake necklace for little Lily. "Where did you get that from?" Lily beamed when hearing the question, and she played with her new jewelry proudly. "Got it from the man with white hair and silver eyes," she grinned, "The man who looked almost like a ghost."

The man who looked almost like a ghost. Her words rung in Hermione's head. That man who had helped her out in the office. She recalled the moment and remembered him reminding her of someone. His smile especially. Or smirk to be more exact. Smirk! Pale as a ghost, silver eyes, blonde hair and a smirk! It suddenly hit her.