Need

Merlin, Potter makes me scream sometimes. I mean really what does he think he is? La-di-da, oh I've beaten a dark wizard as a child; oh I have this marvellous scar on my forehead, would you like to see it? Would you like to kiss my arse? Well excuse me if I don't lick his boots clean, I've only just had my tongue waxed.

It's the way he wanders around the school, knowing that no teacher will get him into serious trouble. Even Snape can't go against Dumbledore's orders that Harry-fucking-Potter cannot get expelled. And now the Dark Lord is back, so he hadn't finished him off whilst he was a baby and he can't beat him now. Do you know what that suggests to me? Do you really Potter? It tells me that you're a FAKE!

There are rumours of a prophecy being whispered around the school. Apparently, because his parents died three times then Potter will beat Voldemort. Or something like that anyway, as I said it's just a rumour. Anyone else would ask how people can die thrice, but I remember that Voldemort rose from death to rule again, so I'm not going to ask stupid questions. Not that it matters anyway. I don't believe in prophecy. From the looks that Potter gives the rumour-spreaders (or bullshitters, as I like to call them) I'd say that he doesn't believe it either.

We have a lot in common, really. He dislikes the people that follow him around like flies and shit and I don't like them either. He'd do much better if he actually hung around with people that wanted to show him the world he belongs in. There was an incident about three days ago and They were talking on their benches before Potions. It went something like:

"So how do wizarding wirelesses work then?" That was Potter in his usually ignorant fashion.

"Harry, it's really simple, Merlin I keep forgetting how little you really know about how our world works." That was of course Weasley-the twat-the most annoying of all the self-righteous-up their own arses-Gryffindor-god they really piss me off-posse

"Well you would know that it was a simple charm if you actually read books occasionally." Guess who that was.

"Is there anything you don't read in a book Hermione?"

"Well, books happen to be very educational and interesting."

"Interesting? They're all boring as shit."

The Weasley-Granger fight had lasted two minutes before Snape had entered and removed twenty Gryffindor points(because it was Thursday). Since asking the question, Potter had been silent, and still had not been told about the activius charm. I can only assume that he goes through this often. He will leave Hogwarts knowing how to kill Deatheaters and harvest a mulltree bush, but without any actual knowledge of how to live in this world to which he has been introduced. Thus, another reason for not allowing muggle-borns in. They're useless once you get them out of school. It serves him right for not accepting my friendship on the first night, but I'm over that now.

In fact, he has more right to be here than most. I don't resent him his place at school; I just wish that he would, oh I don't know, try having a decent conversation with me without us having to grab our wands. I see him look at his friends sometimes, and I know that he's thinking that he would like someone to talk to. Then he looks at me and raises his eyebrow, half questioning what I'm looking at, half being defensive in case I say something I shouldn't, half asking for some interaction. It's a complicated eyebrow. I'd do it, I'd interact (or say something I shouldn't), we could have been so great as allies. I don't know if enemies is entirely the right word for us, but it's the closest there is right now. I think we're both looking for more.

You may have noticed some frustration back there, and I apologise. It's not the Malfoy way to show emotion unless it is smuggery, with a twist of venom (with ice). But the fact is, he winds me up the wrong way, or perhaps the right way. He makes my fingers itch. Just thinking about him makes me want to grab my wand. I'd like to just reach out and scratch a line down his skin. You know, that does sound odd when I say it out loud. I want to mark him, show him that I'm a physical thing he can't ignore. He doesn't ignore me really, not that I give him much choice. I work very hard at being a daily presence in his life.

We do have a lot in common. He needs interaction with someone that is his equal. I'm not talking about social equal, or even intelligence. I mean he wants a new friendship that gives him full reign on his emotion. I've seen him get very angry before, and he's constantly being pressured by his friends to calm down. He needs to let it out. It can't be healthy, restrained rage. And, let's face it; he has a lot to be angry about. I saw him snapping at Dumbledore the other day. But I need an equal too. I'm sick of these pig-ignorant subservient creeps that I have following me around. At first they were a sign of power, but now I realise I don't need idiots to show I'm powerful. I have character, I have charm, and I'm also very modest. I think if we could get past the years of hatred and bitching, we'd realise that we could rely on each other for more.

I was slightly surprised when I saw him have a go at Dumbledore, but I suppose I shouldn't be. Potter has a mind of his own, and it was only a matter of time before he started using it. I think he's frustrated by the way the headmaster won't let him get involved in the war. He's constantly being repressed, being kept in the dark about campaigns, battles, strategy, everything really. And bearing in mind Dumbledore does believe that prophecy, you have to wonder why he thinks it's a good idea that Potter knows nothing about why or how he's fighting.

The war. Oh the war makes me laugh. Does that surprise you? The fact that I find many people fighting about something that will never be resolved humorous really shouldn't. The Deatheaters are fighting for a system where muggle-borns and muggle-sympathisers do not exist. Fair enough, everyone is entitled to an opinion. I personally don't think that killing people is a good way of gaining support. (Which they desperately need. There were no initiates recruited last year, and the death count just keeps on rising.)And the community is fighting for a free world. A free world in which werewolves, giants, centaurs, mermaids, house-elves (in fact all intelligent beings that aren't human) are treated like vermin. They're actually treated worse than beasts, which I don't understand. I meant if they were treated like dumb animals it would be insulting enough, but they actually get persecuted for not being animals. It makes me laugh. And if you think that laughing at persecution and oppression is horrific, it's obvious that you don't know me that well.

You may also realise that I watch Potter a lot. Well its good entertainment isn't it? He doesn't notice I don't think, but I can't help myself. He's so watchable. He'll enter the room and I can't see anything else. He doesn't have a fanfare or anything, but I think it's just the confidence, the way he holds himself. He doesn't act affected by anything or anyone. And that's just when he's walking. When he's flying on the Quidditch pitch it's like music in motion. He has rhythm, and more than that he has grace. You probably think that sounds quite girly, but it isn't, it's enchanting.

But whenever he's near me I just want to grab my wand and show him just how much effect I could have on him. I'd like to take his wand and let him know just how much power I have over him. Watching Potter isn't half as much fun as getting under his skin.

It is an obsession; I can't deny it any longer. If I could be with Potter then I would. I'd have him wrapped in chains, or simply under my power. But then I would not mind being under his either. I think it's just the contact that I want

The link between us is too much to ignore, so, when he grabbed my hand one night whilst I was walking alone in the moonlight, and pushed me into a wall, pressing his body and his lips against me, I wasn't going to fight it. This was what I wanted, what I needed. I desired Potter, physically, emotionally, my opposite as well as my equal.

Perhaps he'd caught me staring, or perhaps he'd just been craving this for as long as I had. So yeah, Harry made me scream in frustration, but now we've found a way to ease the tension. Now we have a connection that lets our feelings lose and his friends and my family can go take a running jump if they don't like it. I have him, he has me. What more do we need?