Into the Hands of Fate

Chapter Nineteen

"Avada Kedavra!"

Requillo collapsed to the floor, lifeless.

~*~

"What did you do?" yelled Requillo again. He pointed his wand at the latter. "What did you do to her? Tell me!"

"Or you'll what?" said the Dark Lord with a sneer.

Requillo forced a curse at him.

Voldemort laughed. "Is that your best?"

Requillo shot another curse, and this time, the Dark Lord did not think it amusing. He stumbled backwards, blood gouging out of a deep wound in his shoulder. "You insolent-," but another gouge cut at him.

The other Death Eaters advanced to help but Voldemort shook his head and shot a curse at Requillo.

Hallie screamed and stood up, though rather unsteadily, she raced to the circle. A Death Eater detached himself from the group and muttered a curse. She was propelled away and crashed against the wall.

"No!" Sirius yelled, fighting against his bonds. She fell into a heap on the floor.

"I'm killing your daughter. Now I'm gong to kill you," muttered Voldemort with venom. Requillo looked at him in horror. He opened his mouth to speak, but before he could, the other had already said, "Avada Kedavra."

He collapsed onto the floor, his eyes wide and staring.

~*~

There were shouts from outside. Voldemort looked straight at Sirius. "You're next," he said quietly with a knowing sort of tone and then took off with the other Death Eaters. He muttered a soft curse and a skull showed up in the sky as a serpent protruded from its mouth. Then he and his followers disapparated.

Remus watched as Ministry people flooded into the home.

Outside, he heard someone say, "The Dark Mark!"

He closed his eyes, hearing voices swirl around him.

"Oh, God..." said a familiar voice. Remus looked up and saw Frank in the doorway, looking around.

The once perfectly tidy room was now in ruins. Requillo's body was just being covered and Sirius was yelling at Frank to release his body bind.

Once free, Remus stood and watched as Sirius pushed his way through the Ministry people to get to Hallie. Frank looked at Remus, forced a wobbly smile that ended in a grimace.

"What happened?" he asked softly.

Remus blinked at him for a few minutes before collapsing into the chair once again. "Voldemort was here." He swallowed. "He killed Requillo."

Frank turned around to look at the body being carried away and shook his head.

"Frank?" called a voice. The man turned around and his wife came over. He wrapped his arms around her.

"Hallie's being taken to the hospital. The Death Eaters put a tracking curse of some sort on her. I'm guessing they were using her as a pawn in trying to find Requillo. Every second the curse was left on her, life was drained away. The Ministry is going to look into what curse they used before she has no life in her left." She sighed and ran a hand through her hair.

Frank kissed her forehead. "It's been a long day. This has been the second attack," he said softly.

Remus stood up. "Did you want to go to the hospital?" asked Sarah.

He shook his head. "I think I have to go to Dumbledore."

Frank watched after him. "Sarah, you go home, I can finish up here."

"But-," she protested.

He put up a hand. "I think Gram needs a rest. Go take care of Neville."

She smiled up at him and placed a kiss on his cheek. "Call me if you need me?"

He nodded and cupped her cheek. "Send him my love." She nodded and left.

~*~

Sirius held her hand. It was still cold and getting colder. He looked at Frank. "What's happening?" he asked softly.

Frank shook his head. "They don't know yet."

Sirius looked at Hallie again. Her breathing was becoming slower, and slower. Dark eye bags were starting to appear under her eyes and her skin was starting to look sallower. He leaned over and kissed her cheek gently.

Just then, Peter ran in. "What happened?" he exclaimed, bending over to catch his breath.

Sirius closed his eyes and sat on the edge of his bed, leaning against the wall. "Voldemort killed Requillo."

Peter's eyes widened, but no one saw the look of relief and satisfaction pass through his face. Though these emotions flew past by, there was also a look of extreme guilt as well.

He walked over to the bed and looked at Hallie. His breaths stopped when he looked at her. "Is-is she-is she...?" he trailed off, not wanting to finish.

His heart was pounding and his insides were turning.

"No, she's fine for now," Sirius choked out. "She - they're draining the life out of her with a stupid curse they put on her so that they could track Requillo," he said bitterly.

Peter took a step back, still looking at Hallie with wide eyes. "Is she going to be okay?" he whispered.

Sirius looked away. Frank put a hand on his shoulder and said, "Yes, she's going to be fine."

Angrily, Sirius moved away and stood up. "Don't say things you don't mean, Frank," he said in a deathly quiet tone.

The other man shrugged. "Well, I mean it."

"How can you say that?" he yelled. "Look at her! She's a bloody corpse! No can look like that and live!" He closed his mouth as his own words sunk in. With a choked sob, he ran out of the hospital.

Frank watched after him and then looked at Peter. "I'd better go after him. Look after her will you?"

Peter nodded and Frank raced after Sirius.

He took a step closer to the bed. "I'm sorry, Hallie," he said quietly, a slight tremble in his voice. "You were never supposed to get hurt. Nothing was supposed to happen to you. But Requillo had to be done away with. You see that don't you?" The heart monitor beside her bed could be heard letting out soft beeps. The beats were slowly slowing down. "He was bad. The master said so. He said Requillo was a traitor. The master only wants to help the world, and your dad was pushing his plans away. This had to happen."

He looked at her for a moment and swallowed. "Nothing was supposed to happen to you, though. I'm sorry, I'm really, really sorry. You weren't supposed to get hurt. I never wanted to hurt you or Sirius. I'm sorry." After a short moment, he turned and walked out saying a soft, "Goodbye."

~*~

"Sirius, Sirius wait!" Frank yelled, but Sirius kept on running.

For how long, he didn't know. He had been running, it seemed, for forever. His legs were becoming tired, and his lungs were starting to hurt. Soon after, his legs failed what his mind wanted to do.

His mind told him to run, run as fast as he could. Run until he couldn't run anymore. You just have to get away, the voice said. Don't let the pain catch up. You don't want to hurt anymore. You don't want the pain. Run...run...

And he did, but it seemed that the rest of his body didn't agree. He collapsed onto the ground. The tears came falling down his face and his breaths were gasps.

His heart had another opinion. Stay, that voice was telling him. Go back.

But I can't, I can't go back, he thought.

She needs you...

And he buried his head in his hands, crying, crying with all the pain and sorrow deep within him. He cried and cried until he felt he would die of suffocation if he didn't stop soon.

Frank knelt down beside him and helped him sit up. "Take it easy," said the older man. "You're going to be all right. She's going to be fine."

Sirius looked at him and shook his head. "Stop saying that, Frank! Did you see her?" He swallowed. "It was as if I was already looking at her in a bloody coffin! She's dying!" The words sunk in again and he hated himself. He hated how he couldn't keep all those thoughts to himself, because when he said them, they sounded all the more real.

Frank looked at him and placed a consoling, firm hand on his shoulder. "You were right earlier, Sirius," he said softly. "I shouldn't say things I don't mean." Sirius looked at him in question. "I said she'd be all right and, well, I mean it. I never say things I don't mean. I know she's going to be all right."

Sirius shook his head. "You don't know that."

Frank grinned. "Oh yes I do. Hallie won't die just like that. You know her better than anyone else, don't you?"

"So?" said the other miserably. He felt like a child with no control. It was a feeling he did not like one bit.

"Well, you know she loves you more than anything." Sirius looked down as his vision blurred again.

"You're purposely trying to hurt me, aren't you," he said bluntly.

At this, Frank laughed. "Yeah, I'm on a secret mission to make your life a living hell." He shook his head. "No, she loves you more than anything else in the world. And, knowing Hallie, she won't give up until she gets what she wants, am I right?"

In spite of himself, Sirius smiled softly. "I guess."

Frank looked at him squarely. "Well, she wants to marry you. And she will."

~*~

Peter knew the words he had spoken to his friend were words not only for her, but for himself as well.

The master only wants to help the world, and your dad was pushing his plans away...

He shook his head. Sure, that's the way Voldemort put it, but the reality of it all was a different story.

He walked on, just for the sake of walking. It calmed in slightly, however. He was walking, walking away. How he wished he could 'walk away' in the reality of his life. But in the other half of it, he couldn't, he was trapped, caught in the net that he had lured himself into. There was no turning back.

~*~

The heart monitor suddenly broke out into quick beeps. The sound itself was one of such frightening hysteria that Sirius shot up from his seat next to Hallie's bed, no longer asleep, but wide awake. Frank did likewise and raced out to get a doctor.

"No," Sirius whispered. "No." He sat at the edge of the bed, his tears frozen in his eyes so that everything was a maze of haziness. The young man reached out his hand to touch her cheek. Like the first time, it was as cold as ice. Quickly, he withdrew his hand and stared in horror at her.

He saw her chest rising and falling with gasping breaths. "Hallie - Hallie, wake up!" he yelled. The breaths became faster and faster, gasps could be heard. It frightened him to think of what would become of him if her breathing stopped. He couldn't live without her. It was as plain as that.

He propped her sitting up and because unconscious that she was, she fell limply in his arms. Letting her lean against him, he stroked he hair. "Hallie, Hallie, please," he whispered, his voice trembling. He was beginning to shake violently. "Don't leave me, don't leave me."

Then the tears came. He didn't hold them back, he couldn't. The pain arose in his chest and his heart cried out in pain. "Please," he murmured, hugging her to him. He buried his face in her hair and took in the sweet scent. "Please don't leave me, Hallie."

And then the heart monitor let out a continuous long beep.

~*~

Remus had been called to find the cure for his friend. He didn't know what condition she was in, only that a tracking sort of curse was set upon her so that they could get Requillo. His job, as Dumbledore had asked him, was to find what curse it was, and how to treat it.

He looked through the millions of books in the Hogwarts library. Students milled in and out, some few curiously glancing at him. Some girls who passed by giggled when they saw him, but he was too intent on finding the counter curse to notice.

His concentration was suddenly broken when a boy came over. "What're you doing?" he asked. He looked about eleven or twelve.

"I'm trying to find a curse," muttered Remus.

"Oh!" the boy said. "Can I help? I like doing curses and the like. But first years aren't allowed to do Defense Against the Dark Arts yet." He sighed and took a seat in the seat across from Remus. "What curse are you looking for?"

"Tracking," murmured Remus absently. He flipped through pages. After a few moments, he ran a hand through his hair and looked up. He finally noticed the boy looking through another stack of books.

The twelve-year-old had flaming red hair and almond brown eyes that showed a life of innocence and happiness through his years.

"Er - hello," said Remus uncertainly.

The boy giggled. "Hi," he said and continued looking through the books.

"Um, please take no offense, but...who are you?"

The boy giggled once more. "My name's Bill - Bill Weasley."

Remus' eyebrows shot up. "Oh, are you Arthur and Molly's son?" Bill nodded vigorously. He smiled. "It's nice to meet you. I'm Remus Lupin."

Bill nodded again with a bright smile. He then began flipping through pages of books again. Remus looked at him for a moment and then did likewise.

After a few long moments of searching and finding nothing, Remus got up and slammed the book he was reading onto the desk.

Bill looked up at him with wide eyes.

"Urgh!" yelled the twenty-year-old man. He ran a hand through his light brown hair in irritation and finally looked up from the ground to the little boy in front of him.

"What are some of the effects of the curse?" he asked softly.

Remus blinked at him. "I don't know."

The boy laughed and grinned at him critically. "I don't know where else to look!"

"Remus!" yelled someone from the doorway. He looked up and saw Sarah. She raced to him. "Frank-Frank sent me-," she started but had to stop. She put a hand to her chest and breathed deeply for a few moments to catch her breath. "Hallie-she-she's," but she needed just a bit more time. She bent down and put her hands on her knees.

"Hallie what?" he asked in concern. He took a step closer to help her but she suddenly jerked up to tell him, hitting the young man in the face. Remus went flying backwards into a shelf with shock. A few books came loose and landed on him. One thick one in particular fell right onto the crown of his head.

"Remus! Are you all right?" Sarah said in horror. "I'm so sorry! I-I," but then she saw a red headed little boy running over. He had a bright smile on his face as he took the fat book that had hit Remus.

"Look! I've found it! You've found it!" Bill exclaimed, jumping up and down.

"Bill?" called a voice. The boy turned around and saw another boy coming.

"Charlie?"

The latter laughed. "I've been looking for you! Professor McGonagall's about to blow her top!"

Bill laughed. "I've been right here looking for a curse!"

Remus stood up. And took the book handed to him by Bill. "Persuasia Curses..." he said softly and smacked himself on the head.

The boy named Charlie put a hand over his mouth to try and resist the urge to laugh, but Bill broke out into loud laughter.

"I knew it! It was all the way back of my mind!" said Remus.

"Then, Remus, you must come now! Hallie's in critical-," but his eyes widened and he rushed past her.

After getting off Hogwarts grounds, he apparated to the hospital and raced in. Sarah was right behind him.

Once he was inside, he heard the long continuous beep and saw Sirius look up with a devastated and tear stained face.

He closed his eyes and leaned against the doorway.

~*~

From light to dark and dark to light

From hate to love from love to hate

 

Turn death to life instead of life to death

Take power; take from the will of Fate

~*~

A strange sensation went through him. His heart quickened and his breaths did as well. He opened his eyes.

He was just dreaming. That's it. That's all that happened, he fell asleep.

Quickly he shut his eyes again and hugged her close to him. Wake up; wake up...he thought fiercely.

The tears burned in his eyes, but not only with the fiery sensation, but with a blistering one as well. He saw a bright light in the darkness of his closed eyes and when he opened them, the drops of crystal liquid fell onto her forehead.

He wiped them away and kissed the spot. "I love you," he whispered.

Suddenly, he was blinded by a dazzling light. The whole room was filled with it and he closed his eyes from its brightness.

Slowly, the light crept out of the room, slowly like water goes down a drain. It seeped through the ceiling and was soon no more.

Sirius blinked his eyes open and looked around. Remus was rubbing his eyes as was Sarah and Frank was looking thoroughly bewildered.

With a deep sorrowful sigh, he leaned against the bedpost and kissed Hallie's forehead.

The doctor, who was standing on the opposite side of the bed said, "I'm sorry, Sirius, there's nothing more you can do here." He walked over and started to help the young man off the bed, but Sirius forcefully resisted.

"Don't-touch-me," he said quietly. He swallowed angrily brushed away his tears, avoiding the eyes of his friends.

"Sirius, I'm terribly sorry, but you must go home and get some rest. Staying here will do nothing for you," the doctor said in a soft and gentle tone. He advanced and tried to pry Sirius' arms off Hallie, but it was in vain.

Sirius got comfortable on the bed and held her close. He choked on sobs and touched her face tenderly. "I love you," he said again.

"Sirius," started the doctor once more, but Frank came over and pointed.

The heart monitor screen no longer showed a straight line, but an ever so slight hint of movement going up and down.

~*~

Fate smiled. "All is well, for now," she whispered.

~*~

"How-how?" said the doctor in confusion. Frank gaped at the screen and slowly were the beeps starting to get louder and stronger.

Sirius shot up to a sitting position and stared at the heart monitor. He gave a confused look to the others and then looked down at Hallie.

His heart quickening its pace, he bent near her and put his ear over her mouth. A slight breeze touched his skin from her breath.

"She's breathing! She's breathing. Oh my God," he whispered, more tears coming to his eyes. He touched her cheek. "Hallie, Hallie, can you hear me? Oh God...oh God..." His voice was trembling and he ran a hand through his hair. "Wake up, Hallie, wake up, it's me!"

Frank came over and put a hand on his shoulder. "Sirius, it'll take a while." Sirius looked up at him with a tear stained face.

"She died, she died right in front of me, Frank. What happened?"

The latter just smiled in a strange unknowing sort of way and shrugged. Sirius looked at him for a moment, before looking at Hallie again.

He lied down next to her, and this time, the doctor didn't try to take him away.

~*~

Remus ran in with Sarah close behind. He slid into the room and jerked to a stop when he saw Sirius sleeping beside Hallie, with tears on his cheeks. He and Sarah shared a look, but Frank stood up and walked to them.

"She's fine, I don't know what happened, but she's fine now," he said.

"I wasn't worried about her, I saw the heart monitor. She's alive. It was Sirius I was worried about," said Remus with a grin.

Sarah and Frank laughed. They all gave one last look to the two on the bed and then walked out.

~*~

How long he had been looking at her, he didn't know, nor did he care. After too long, he held her close to him and kissed her forehead. He smelled the sweet scent of her hair and suddenly he felt movement.

"Sirius," came a soft voice, "don't do that, I don't remember the last time I took a shower." He immediately pulled away and gaped at her. Her eyes were lightly closed but a small smile played on her lips. "Let alone the last time I did anything at all..." Her voice was so soft, he had to strain to hear every word she said, but they were words at least.

"Hallie!" he exclaimed with a choked sob and hugged her tightly. She tried pushing him off, but found she was too weak.

"Sirius - Sirius, you're hurting me." At once, he let her go. She opened her eyes and looked at him in exhaustion. "Why am I so tired?"

He wiped away tears without shame. "Because you died."

She chuckled softly. "Sirius..."

But she stopped when she saw his eyes were filled with tears. "I saw it, I was right here," he whispered.

She weakly put her arms about his neck and sighed. He pulled her closer to him. "I'm so tired," she said softly. He kissed her forehead softly and heard her slow even breathing as she fell asleep.

~*~

"Yeah, she's doing better, still weak. They want to keep her there for just one more day, then she's coming home," Sirius explained to James and Lily with a happy smile. James held his wife tightly.

With a giggle, Harry plopped out of his seat and came crawling over. Sirius smiled and bent down to pick him up. The little boy waved his arm around with soft gurgles of glee and giggled at the man who made funny faces at him.

James grinned.

"What was it you wanted to talk about, Padfoot?" said James quietly, noticing his friend's falling face.

Sirius looked up at him, and then back at Harry. "It's about the Fidelius Charm." There was a short silence only broken by Harry's adorable laughter. With a kiss on the forehead, Sirius set him down so the youth could crawl over to his parents. Lily picked him up. Running a hand through his hair, Sirius said, "I can't be your Secret-Keeper anymore." Lily's eyes widened. He smiled. "They know it's going to be me. I was thinking all last night on what I could do instead. It came to me later." He paused and looked at James squarely. "You should use Peter instead."

James' eyes widened. "What do you mean?"

"When the manor was attacked, Voldemort looked straight at me and said that I'm next." Lily gasped and Sirius looked away. "He knows I'm keeping your secret, and if he gets me..." he trailed off and shook his head. They got the meaning.

Nodding, James said, "But what should we do?"

"That's what I meant when you should use Peter. No one will expect little Peter Pettigrew to be your secret keeper. They expect me to be it, but he's the last one they'd think of. I think it would be a great diversion so that Voldemort can come after me and you'll be safe and sound with Peter keeping your secret."

"But what about Remus? Wouldn't he be just as good a Secret-Keeper?" asked Lily quietly.

Sirius bit down his lip in guilt. "I-I thought about that too..." his voice was almost inaudible.

"And..."

Sirius looked at them with pained eyes. "And I think that he's the one passing the information."

James closed his eyes tightly and felt Lily's arms go around him.

Sirius looked down in shame. "I know - I know it's horrible of me to think it, but-but I don't know who else it could be. He and Peter were the only ones I told about bringing Requillo to the manor last week except you and - and then Voldemort showed up..." he swallowed deeply. "I just - he seemed, well, I don't know, but he seemed guilty or something." With a sigh of aggravation he said, "I don't know."

James put a hand on his shoulder. "It's all right. I know you've thought this out millions of times."

"Yes, I have. I've tried seeing everyone else spying on us instead of him. I've tried imagining a reason that he'd do it...that he was being blackmailed or something...but I can't dodge the feeling that someone in our circle is passing the information, I-I've tried," but his voice was cut off by a choked sob. He buried his head in his hands.

Lily came over and hugged him around his shoulders. "We understand, you're probably right. This must hurt you most," she said quietly.

"You have no idea," he whispered back.

James ran a hand through his hair. "I guess we should have Peter come and change to our Secret-Keeper," he said.

Sirius didn't look up. "I'll get him now." With that, he stood up and left.

James watched after him, grasping Lily's hand tightly.

~*~

With Peter, Sirius went to Godric's Hollow.

"Sirius, what's this about. Why are we going here?" Peter asked.

"Just shut up for a few minutes and you'll find out, all right?" Sirius snapped.

Peter's eyebrows shot up and he closed his mouth tightly.

After a while, Sirius looked over and saw Peter's dejected expression. He sighed and said, "Look, Peter, sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really stressed out right now."

The latter nodded. "You're worried about Hallie?"

"Part of it's that."

"Oh."

Soon they were there and Sirius knocked. Peter saw the door open on its own and felt his eyes widen.

"Sirius - but - this place is empty..." he said.

"No, it isn't, come on."

Peter watched as Sirius shook hands with an invisible person and hugged another. He bent down and picked up something and laughed. "Sirius..." Peter said uncertainly. The other young man looked at him with a solemn smile.

"Come on, Peter," said Sirius, starting to walk into the living room. He lit the candles and closed all the blinds. He then said, "And to trusted eyes, let the truth be told, let the secret be unveiled, open thy minds, seek and behold." Sirius, for a moment, seemed to glow in the dim lit room. Brightness shined down from above.

And then it was gone.

Peter blinked away the spots and looked around the room. His eyebrows shot up so far they were lost under the untidy mop of bangs atop his head. "James!" he yelled, running over. "Lily! Harry!" His arms were around them and his smile was so wide, he feared it would disappear right off the sides of his face.

Sirius stood a ways back, just watching, contemplating.

James eyes turned to him from behind Peter and he gave the simplest of nods.

"Peter," Sirius started.

With a tear stained face, the latter looked at him with a bright smile. "You knew the whole time you little git!" He laughed and ran over to hug Sirius too.

With a soft chuckle, Sirius pushed the other off him. "There's something we have to talk about, Wormtail."

At the nickname, Peter frowned slightly and his smile faded ever so slowly. His friend's tone was one not of complete happiness as he was feeling at that moment, but a grave solemnity that sank his heart.

"What is it?" he wondered softly, dreadfully.

Sirius looked to James and Lily who nodded at him for reassurance. "I-we...Peter," he said, starting again. Peter urged him to continue. "I-," but Sirius gave an aggravated sigh. "I can't do it. You do it," he told James, looking away.

Peter looked at them all in confusion. "What is it? What's wrong?"

James cleared his throat. "Well, you see, Peter...Lily, Harry and I haven't been in hiding. Well- we have, but not in the way everyone thinks we have." Peter just blinked at them. "We've been hidden under the Fidelius Charm. It's a very powerful spell that keeps those that are supposed to be kept hidden, secret." He went on to explain about the charm. "Sirius, well - he's our Secret-Keeper."

Peter's eyes widened and he looked to Sirius, but the young man was looking down at his shoes guiltily. After a short moment, he looked up. "I'm sorry, Peter, I just couldn't tell anyone."

Peter smiled. "That's all right. I understand." Sirius nodded.

"But see," James continued, "we know Voldemort knows that Sirius is going to be the Secret-Keeper. And-and it's not safe, we know, but-but we were thinking that we need to change to someone else." Peter's spirits inflated at these words. He knew what was coming. But then...that voice in the back of his mind told him it wasn't as good as it would have been if-if he wasn't what he was at the moment...

"We think you should be our Secret-Keeper," said Lily, looking at him with a desperate sort of pleading look.

Peter smiled. "You don't even have to ask," he said softly. "You know I'll do anything for you." Inside, his heart was pounding horrifically and his eyes were starting to tear.

I shouldn't though...I shouldn't be their Secret-Keeper...if only they knew...

Sirius looked at him. "It's very dangerous, Peter," he said.

Peter nodded. "But you did it. And you knew You-Know-Who would know. Now though...you're still going to keep it secret that you're changing Secret-Keepers?"

Sirius nodded. "It's better this way. Voldemort can go after me. I'll be a sort of diversion. That way, you'll be home free; and-and James, Lily, and Harry will be safe too. I'll be a decoy." His voice was softer ever minute and Peter's stomach twisted inside him.

"You're very brave, Sirius," he said.

The other looked down.

I wish you knew ...how I wish you knew the whole of it...thought Peter. He shook his head and drew his conclusion.

"I'll be your Secret-Keeper," Peter said decisively.

James smiled in a tired sort of way, but nevertheless, it was the same smile filled with such heart-warming gratitude. Lily was crying now and ran over to hug him after handing Harry over to James.

Harry, who seemed to feel what was going on, smiled at Peter and giggled.

Peter, Peter...what are you doing?

That afternoon, the switch was planned and action was to take place that night.

~*~

That night, Sirius lay exhausted on the couch and looked over at Peter who ran a hand through his hair and yawned. "Why'd you pick me, Sirius?" asked the young man.

The other grinned. "'Cause there was no one else."

Peter laughed. "I mean - why not Remus? You and I both know that he's a better pick. He's braver than me, for one."

Sirius sighed with anguish and swallowed. "I-I have reason to believe that-that he," he stopped and swallowed again.

"What is it, Sirius?"

"I have reason to believe that he's the one passing the information to the Dark Side," he said in a rush.

Peter gasped and almost fell of the armchair. "W-What? What did you say?"

The other man's voice was slightly muffled by the hand covering his face. "I have reason to believe that Remus is the one passing the information to the Dark Side," but he stopped. Looking up he said, "Please, Peter, don't make me say it again. I-I can't."

Peter just gaped at him.

Inside, he was in torture. It was as if something, something so evil, so horrible, something unimaginable was eating him from inside to out.

He closed his eyes with a soft groan of complete anguish.

Two hearts tore in that room, but each for a different reason.

One of agony for a friend's betrayal, and the other...the other with agony of extreme and unbearable guilt.

Oh, God...if only I could tell you...if only you knew...

~*~

Hallie laughed and tried to hold on to Sirius as he picked her up from the wheelchair. "Sirius, don't drop me!" she said with laughter in her voice.

He smiled down at her and grinned.

Her eyes widened. "You're not going to drop me, Sirius Black!"

"Oh? And who says?"

She didn't miss a beat. "Your fiancée says so and if you know what's good for you, you'll-," but she couldn't continue because she fell into a fit of laughter. Sirius grinned sweetly and kissed her nose.

"Hush now, dear," he said quietly, "You're causing a scene." Indeed, the ruckus had drawn the attention of many people outside the hospital.

She gave him a look, trying to keep a straight face, but unable to swipe the smile from her mouth. "They're probably admiring my looks."

Sirius laughed at the familiar words. "Probably horrified at how horrible your face is."

"Sirius!"

"Just kidding."

He placed her in the back seat of the Ministry car and closed the door. Instead of going to the front seat next to the driver, he went around to the other side of the car and got in the back seat next to her. He smiled as she hugged him.

True, she was still weak and got tired easily, but she was getting better. That's what mattered to him at this point, Hallie was getting better.

~*~

She woke up the next morning and saw that the space beside her was empty. Slowly, she sat up and looked around. "Sirius?" she called softly. When there was no response, she stood up and found that her legs felt like Jell-O. She supported herself on the bedpost, but slowly made her way out into the hall.

She spotted him sitting at the top of the steps. When she took a seat beside him, he said, "You should rest more." Indeed, she was breathing somewhat heavily at only the short walk from the bed to the steps.

Hallie shrugged. "I'm fine," she told him.

He didn't look at her, but kept looking down at his shoes. "Come on, I'll help you back," he said, slowly standing. She looked up at him in confusion.

"Sirius, are you all right?" He forced a smile, but she saw that frightening fire burning in his eyes. She took his offered and stood, still looking at him. "Sirius..." she started again.

He shook his head. "Don't worry about it, I'm all right. Come on." He started down the hall again, but she held back.

"Tell me what's wrong."

Sirius froze and slowly turned to look at her. He didn't say anything at first, and for a moment, she thought he wouldn't say anything at all, but then he said, "Really, Hal, I'm fine." When he saw her disbelieving look, he came over and brought his lips over hers. When they parted, she saw as if it was a movie for her to be seen. The scorching fire that was burning in his eyes slowly became smaller and smaller until it was gone. His smile was genuine now. "I'm fine. Now let's give you some more rest, shall we?"

She grinned and shook her head. "I've already had too much. I can't sleep or read anymore. Let's go out."

"Hallie, you just got back!"

Shrugging, she told him, "I'm all right, but I'm extremely bored. I think I'll even be up to flying." His eyebrows shot up. "Okay, well, maybe not flying..."

With a happy laugh, he picked her up and swung her around. When he put her down, his eyes widened at how pale she was. "Oh gosh, I'm so sorry!" he exclaimed at once, steadying her.

"Don't worry about it, Sirius," she said with a laugh. "Just give me a minute."

After about five minutes, she smiled up at him weakly. "So where are you taking me?"

He looked at her with a fatherly expression. "Back to the bedroom." He picked her up and she laughed.

"Sirius! I'm not tired!"

"That's all right."

"Sirius..." Just like he always did, he kissed her forehead gently and she rested her head on his shoulder, putting her arms around his neck. "Please?"

He sighed in defeat and put her on her own two feet. "How about a walk in Hogsmead?" She laughed happily and wrapped her arms around him tightly.

"Thank you!" He, too, laughed and put his arms about her waist, hugging her close.

Trying to be discreet, he buried his face in her hair, trying to remember its scent and kissed her neck. She smiled to herself for though it seemed as if he was just hugging her, she knew what he was doing. She said softly, "You're adorable."

He looked at her. "How so?"

Shrugging, she told him, "You just are."

~*~

James looked at his wife and cupped her cheek. "Lily, everything will be all right. We know what's going to happen, don't we?"

She nodded, a tear falling down her cheek. "But it hurts, James, it hurts so much," she whispered. He wiped away the single crystal tear with his thumb and kissed her softly.

"Don't worry," he said - his voice almost inaudible. "We-," but his voice was cut off by a giggle as Harry came crawling over. When he got to his father's feet, he held onto James' legs to try and stand. The elder man smiled over at Lily as he picked up his son. "You see, Lil? We're going to be all right."

~*~

Remus sat on the ground, only comforted by the warmth of the glowing fire before him. His heart was saying that something was not right, that something was horribly wrong. Yet...his mind was saying, don't worry, everything is taken care of.

He chuckled to himself softly. "No, it isn't."

Somewhat in dread, he looked out the window. It was a waxing crescent moon, it wasn't far from half and he dreaded when it wouldn't be far 'til full.

He exhaled the large breath he had taken and rubbed his eyes.

"Don't think of it, Remus Lupin. Feeling sorry for yourself gets you nowhere." But it was useless, those words he had said to himself for consolation, the tears still came, and he hated himself for it.

But it isn't fair! His mind screamed with agony. Why me? What have I done that is so wrong? Why do I have to be the one who's different? It would be so much easier to be normal, to not be...to not be me. To not be Remus Lupin the werewolf, but Remus Lupin the human being, completely and wholly. He shook his head and buried his head in his arms propped on his knees. And I'm just holding them back. I'm just holding James, Sirius, Peter, Lily, Hallie...I'm holding them all back. They would be so much further ahead of the wizarding world than they are now if it weren't for me...

I can't even get a job by myself...I have to have help to do it. He laughed through his tears. It wasn't joyful or in the least bit happy. It was a laugh of bitterness.

And then another voice seemed to occupy him, flow through him like a slow stream of comfort.

But you're Remus Lupin no matter what you are, and you always will be. Your friends...they wouldn't be your friends if they didn't want to be held back. They chose to be with you, and be with you they shall. Not because they feel sorry for you, but because they care for you, they love you like a brother. Without you, they'll feel empty, just like you would without them...You're not holding them back, Remus, you're holding yourself back.

He stood up and swallowed, looking around. "I'm going crazy," he whispered and walked out of his house.

~*~

Fate smiled. "Dear, dear Remus...if only you knew what is in store for you. You're going to be a hero, a lifesaver...your purpose is not a job, my dear, your purpose is to help. And help you will... If only you knew...you're going to save more than one person. You're going to save those you love, and help others prosper and become more than they can be, just because you love them so much." Her smile broadened. "You're going to be a hero..."

~*~

Voldemort summoned in Lucius with a wave of his hand. "You've made all the preparations? Both?" The latter nodded and took out the bowl. It held a swirling marble shining black liquid.

Lucius bowed. "Yes, master."

"All right, tell Evan to bring in Lynette." With a last bow, Lucius drew out and did as was told.

Evan came in with Lynette following. Her features hadn't changed, but in a way that was unexplainable, she was very different. Perhaps it was the way she held herself up: confident, defiant, strong...or maybe the way she walked: also confident and sure of herself...but whatever it was, it was a drastic change.

"Come forward, Lynette," said the Dark Lord. She dipped a graceful curtsey and strolled with a confident air. "Look into this bowl."

Without hesitation or a look of doubt, she looked in and suddenly felt a spasm run through her. Evan watched in amazement as she seemed to glow and her feet hovered over the ground, not touching anything solid. Her head rolled back, her eyes only showing the whites. Voldemort smiled and Evan noticed that he was chanting. Lucius, who was by his master's side, too was chanting, though his words seemed to be echoing around the room.

"Forge tall know ledge

Forge tall ant ecedent

Forge tall remem brances

Forget all...Forget all...Forget all..."

Slowly, Lynette floated back to the ground and had another convulsion before falling limp.

Lucius raised his arms to the air. "Remember become who you are. Remember, be who you were. From the heavens above, call on Fate to her will. Power reside, power confide. Tell tale, become who you were, from heavens above."

Lynette's eyes rolled back into focus as she looked around. "Where am I? What am I doing here?"

Voldemort smiled. "All in good time, my dear, all in good time."

~*~

Fate smiled, but it wasn't her usual peace-doing smile; it was one of cunning and mischief. "Yes, my dear Tom Marvolo Riddle. 'All in good time'...but not in the way you think." She stole a glance at the sleeping young woman on the cloud a few yards away. "Sleep, Lydia, sleep, for soon, yet no so, you will be awakened."

~*~

His arm stayed protectively around her waist, but also as a stabler. She smiled up at him and he kissed her nose.

It was a quiet afternoon during that cool autumn day. Many children littered the small town of Hogsmead because it was the first trip for Hogwarts students from years 3 to 7.

"Do you ever miss it?" Hallie asked him softly.

He hugged her closer. "Miss what?"

She smiled. "Miss Hogwarts?"

He laughed. "Ah, yes, every moment of my life. Good years, those were, weren't they?"

She too laughed. "Mm hmm...I especially liked shocking you to death that one day."

"What?"

"When Andrea, Lily, Lydia, Gwen and I blew up that armchair with you nearly on it," she said with a soft chuckle.

He frowned slightly down at her. "I was not in the least shocked." At this, she broke into her joyful one of a kind contagious laughter. He soon couldn't help but join in. "Well, perhaps only a bit, but not really."

"What beautiful colors though, don't you think?"

"Mm," he said. She smiled and leaned her head against his shoulder.